Tricksters serve as an interior form of self protection for the fragile ego which has been wounded, sometimes so severely that all conscious memory of the event has been erased. There are also wounds which may occur during gestation and/or during the period shortly after birth until the being becomes verbal, which are pre-conscious in nature, yet internalized as an internal advisor to the evolving baby consciousness.
Get a topographic map and mark it up like in the dream. Have Sharon photograph me holding up a chalice inside of the door to the room where the map is displayed.
Our “controls” over life, and over our concept of God, keep us in resistance to a higher order of existence. Figuratively speaking, they may even be considered the holes in our spiritual container which leak out our life force, and our sense of joy and purpose.
One control that I tend to practice is that which revolves around the trickster that defines my belief that my voice, and my cries for love, will never be heard. This fools me into believing that I must perform Herculean tasks, compete with others, and/or (from around 6 years old) save someone’s life before they will even notice me. Because it is so draining of energy to participate in certain activities which stimulate this dynamic, it is often perceived that it is better to remain quiet than to speak.
And, in an interesting twist, I feel attacked by others’ indifference to me. I often felt threatened by any feedback given to me, fearing malicious intention.To maintain control, I would often attack myself first, and feel my own self generated pain, favoring that over the pain inflicted by others to me.
Jesus, while nearing death upon the cross, proclaimed:
“My Father, why hast thou forsaken me?”
Which is the now the isolating anthem played in the background for much of mankind,
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