Changes

Changes

Why do I feel so sad today?

It has been quite a road that I have traveled.

Oh the sights that I have seen, the people that I have met, and the experiences that I have had.

Yet now I am here, and now, and I have strong feelings about this place and time that I am visiting.

A critical threshold has been met and surpassed, where I have many more deceased than living family, friends and acquaintances.

We just lost lost another dear friend to death on May 21.

I remember watching the steady parade of deaths of my parents’ beloved friends in the twenty year run up to their own deaths.  I saw how the joy for life seemed to evaporate for them like morning dew on the leaves of a soon to be very warm day.

There are many losses to experience on the way to our final resting place and time.

• The loss of our childhood dreams
• Dear friends who have moved on.
• Pets who blessed our lives for their short life spans.
• The loss of favorite wilderness hiking trails to forest fires.
• The loss of healthy lung capacity due to smoking or air pollution.
• The loss of our ability to speak due to dementia.
• The loss of our mobility due to arthritis, disease, injury, or age.
• The loss of our willingness to defend ourselves against the onslaught of aging

I am within three more deaths of family and friends of dying an anonymous death.

I have been dying to myself for quite awhile now.

Sadness will be the last part of myself to die.