70th Birthday Speech delivered at the Old Spaghetti Factory
Thank you all for being here to celebrate my 70th birthday. It means the world to me!
Some people have stated that they would rather die than speak in public.
Just know that if I should die during this talk, the smallest part of me won.
I did not start talking until after I was four years old. I was examined by audiologists, physicians, and speech pathologists to see what was up with me, but until I finally did start talking, my sister Pam would often tell my parents what I was thinking.
Pam, can you tell the group what I am thinking, and I will just go and sit down?
I used to think that I did not talk until late in my childhood because of early trauma. I now know why I did not talk, I was waiting for a big birthday party where I could make a speech!
The last 16 years have seen multiple memorial talks given by me at services for family and friends. I thought that I would take a big risk and branch out into other areas, and celebrate my life today.
You all can celebrate my death later, OK?
It is hard not to be grieving the loss of somebody or something because of the physical age we are at, and the difficult age we are all living through.
If anybody was hurt or is grieving because they had to be here today, just let me know, Sharon and I are trained volunteers with the Trauma Intervention Program and we can give you emotional first aid after the meal.
You each have an oyster shell set in front of you. I will explain its significance later but just know I paid a major gastronomical price to get them here, consuming nearly 20 raw oysters at Salty’s Restaurant Thursday evening. Those that are here and who experienced the psychedelic parts of the ’60’s and ”70’s know that acid is to be dropped and is not to rise in the throat late at night!
I’d like to begin with a quote from Jesus of Nazareth: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.”
I share this not to preach, but to appreciate. I know that with the Muslims, Vedantists, Buddhists, Jews, Baba-ists, Agnostics, Atheists, Christians, Taoists, Pagans, witches, and mystics here today, we can all find meaning in a story about seeking what is precious. At some point in my life,
I have entertained most of these systems of thought and belief within me, and my heart welcomes all of them, and you.
As many of you know, four years ago on the shores of Maui at Makena Beach, I was caught in a powerful rip tide that pulled me out to sea. It was a moment of profound powerlessness, a raw confrontation with nature’s might.
The ocean wasn’t ready for me yet, and it eventually deposited me back on the shore, exhausted and unable to stand up, but alive, near my wife Sharon and sister Pam. Though the ocean pushed my body back into shallow waters before I got too deep, It failed with my creative mind. Those who have sampled my writing on Facebook or Substack are painfully aware of that!
Umm, there is no scrolling away from this talk, sorry!
That near-death experience was a potent reminder of life’s immutable rhythm—its constant cycle of giving and taking. It reminded me about the tides of human connection, how people are brought into our lives and how they depart, each leaving an imprint.
Because of the ocean’s roar, Sharon and Pam couldn’t hear me yelling for help. Sometimes, background noise prevents us from hearing the distress of others, even those closest to us. It reminded me of the need to listen to each other at the deepest level, to listen closely for each other’s calls for help, perhaps even to read between the lines and see under the surface of still waters.
(brief pause)
It is in that spirit of connection that I want to acknowledge those present.
I see several members of a book club that Sharon and I have belonged to for over 10 years here, welcome! We have been through a lot together, including the reading of many books of the highest quality as well as a few clunkers. We have really gelled into a beautiful community. We have suffered many losses together, as well, including fellow book club members.
If Bruce is here, sorry for the timing, I know that the Ducks are playing right now. I tried to get them to delay the start, but I did not have the pull that I thought a 70th birthday would give me.
I see Jo and Jim Hussey here today, welcome! We have been friends for three decades or more.
Jim, Sharon, and I tried to play golf yesterday, and the two men were lucky to make it back to the truck without extra assistance.
When God finally relents and agrees to allow me to run the Universe, or, as my father used to say “I am going to have a talk with the Old Man”, and the first thing I am going to do is limit the aging process to people under 40 years of age, when humans are the most physically resilient.
The rest of us have too many other worries to deal with, like caring for grandchildren, traveling, or just having fun.
I see David and LInda here too, welcome! Dave, Jim, Frank, who is on vacation hunting for his youth, and I play cards several times a month, though mainly online now because of convenience.
I see several members of the Empowerment Community that Sharon and I belonged to in the ’90’s, welcome, so good to see you! We used to spend a lot of time in community building, core group development, and sharing in an evolutionary journey together. Wow, what a gift we gave to each other!
Our world still suffers; we all have a lot of work to do.
Yet now, most of the work is being done on ourselves, the source of all true change in the world.
I would like to thank my Acorn Ct neighbors Dennis, Sue, Bobbi and Norma for being here today. We have known each other since 1994, except for Norma, who joined our cul-de-sac in 2007. Norma is the ultimate hostess and entertainer, and makes the meanest margaritas in the county.
Too bad this restaurant doesn’t allow for outside liquor!
I see several members of the 24-hour fitness athletic club that we have befriended over the years, including Corie, Rosario, Gayle, Duane, Tim, and Claudia.
Great to see you!
You brought your workout clothes, right?
We will have an hour of Pilates and Yoga followed by pool aerobics after the end of the meal.
Don’t miss it, ok?
I see Tami and Ron here, welcome! Sharon has known Tami for a half century, and they know all of each other’s secrets. I just started getting my hair cut by Tami a couple of years ago, and she already knows all of my secrets!
Umm, my secrets are still safe, aren’t they, Tami?
I see Maggie, Ken, and Espree here, great to see you. If anybody has any pet sitting needs, they are great stewards for the companions! If anybody needs special counseling into the deeper realms of spiritual awareness, Ken and Espree are great guides, too.
I see Madison Limon abd David Valdivia today, wow, great to see all of you! Madison was our angel helping in the care of my father unto his death.
I first met David in 1977 when we worked at the main Post Office in Portland together. He knew me when life was dark in the pre 1987 era, and he has known me in my lighter years.
If you have any home purchasing and selling needs, please talk to Madison. Any insurance needs? See David.
Umm, Madison and David, I only require a small fee for facilitating any business, OK?
I only see three of twelve members from our 1990’s Hood to Coast team here, my sister Pam, Sharon, and myself. Did van 2 get stuck in traffic at the transition point, or did they drop the batton again?
An important part of several of our family, social and spiritual groups, Akiko Anderson, died recently, and I just wanted to acknowledge what a blessing she was to all of us, and how much we miss her.
I see that there are several neighbors here today from our nascent Llewelyn and Westwood neighborhood support groups. Welcome! One of our important functions will be to listen intently to the needs of others, and to ourselves, as many continue to suffer under the pull of the divisive and destructive political currents of today.
Part of the agenda of Project 2025 is to traumatize, disempower and demoralize all freedom loving people, so that Putin, er, Trump can overturn our democracy. As a country, we will not allow that to happen, and it is important to gather our people together and make plans locally.
That is where we come in, and why our work is so important.
(brief pause).
Anyway, what is the story about that oyster shell, anyway?
It is not on a whim or an accident that the oyster shell has been placed before you, but symbolic of a deep truth. In an oyster, a beautiful pearl is formed when an irritant, like a grain of sand, finds its way inside. As a defense, the oyster coats the irritant with layer after layer of nacre, transforming something that could have caused its destruction into a lustrous pearl. The irritant becomes the seed of something beautiful.
My near drowning certainly was an irritant. Life is full of them. Conflicts and challenges can feel like they are pulling us under. The present political crisis often feels like a riptide trying to yank away the last vestiges of sanity and hope and carry our struggling spirits out to sea. But like the oyster, we have the capacity to transform these experiences. We can coat them with layers of understanding, compassion, and wisdom, creating our own inner pearls.
As I look around this room, I don’t just see friends and family. I see a collection of the most beautiful lustrous pearls. Each of you has faced your own irritants, your own rip tides, and has created something precious within yourselves.
I may have even been an irritant to at least one or two of you in the past, and in my own way, I have made you a better person. I offer this as a free service to all!
(brief pause)
You have all enriched my life immeasurably, and your presence here today is the greatest gift. My hope is that your journey has not left you exhausted and unable to stand, as I once was on Makena beach.
May you find rest, renewal, and belonging on this shared shore of the present moment, with whoever you find yourself with. The oyster shell before you symbolize the journey, the protection, and the potential within.
But you—you are the pearls.
Let us appreciate this time together, for we know the tide will eventually turn. Until it does, let us find strength in our shared presence, knowing we are all part of the ocean’s great, mysterious, and beautiful dance of life and its eternal tides.
And we are all part of each other.
Thank you for being a part of my life as a 70-year-old person!
