This was one of those most disturbing and amazing days in American history, as well as with my own personal history. Many citizens of our country had their hopes and dreams dashed, with the 7 American heroes who died 31 years ago today.

Had it not been for an overly cautious pharmacy technician, January 28, 1986 would have been my final day on earth, as well. My search for truth began right here, on this very day, with the Challenger explosion symbolic of my own terminally damaged life up to that time, and nothing has been the same for me since. My hopes for “outer space” were dashed when I chose a life of alcoholism and drug use, married a psychotic woman, and withdrew from a total Air Force scholarship when they would no longer promise me a fighter pilot’s training upon graduation (I thought that this was my path to becoming an astronaut). Being a ‘ground engineer” just did not bring any enthusiasm to me at the time, and I felt “grounded” by the experience, and I never did recover from it, at least until I found my “spirit rocket” in 1987, and afterwards.

My “spirit rocket” now lifts off daily, without the extra encumbrance of religious and cultural misunderstanding, judgement, and superstition (which impedes all spiritual progress). Love and acceptance of myself and all others (INCLUDING ALL ANIMAL LIFE) now unfolds within me as my primary, life affirming propellant.


Bruce

Presently, I am 67 years old, and I am learning how to live the life of a retired person. I am married to Sharon White, a retired hospice nurse, and writer. Whose Death Is It Anyway-A Hospice Nurse Remembers Sharon is a wonderful friend and life partner of nearly 30 years. We have three grandsons through two of Sharon's children. I am not a published writer or poet. My writings are part of my new life in retirement. I have recently created a blog, and I began filling it up with my writings on matters of recovery and spirituality. I saw that my blog contained enough material for a book, so that is now my new intention, to publish a book, if only so that my grandsons can get to know who their grandfather really was, once I am gone. The title for my first book will be: Penetrating The Conspiracy Of Silence, or, How I Lived Beyond My Expiration Date I have since written 7 more books, all of which are now posted on this site. I have no plans to publish any of them, as their material is not of general interest, and would not generate enough income to justify costs. I have taken a deep look at life, and written extensively about it from a unique and rarely communicated perspective. Some of my writing is from 2016 on to the present moment. Other writing covers the time prior to 1987 when I was a boy, then an addict and alcoholic, with my subsequent recovery experience, and search for "Truth". Others are about my more recent experiences around the subjects of death, dying, and transformation, and friends and family having the most challenging of life's experiences. There are also writings derived from my personal involvement with and insight into toxic masculinity, toxic religion, toxic capitalism, and all of their intersections with our leadere. These topics will not be a draw for all people, as such personal and/or cultural toxicities tends to get ignored, overlooked, or "normalized" by those with little time for insight, introspection, or interest in other people's points of view on these troubling issues. There also will be a couple of writings/musings about "GOD", but I try to limit that kind of verbal gymnastics, because it is like chasing a sunbeam with a flashlight. Yes, my books are non-fiction, and are not good reading for anybody seeking to escape and be entertained. Some of the writings are spiritual, philosophical and intellectual in nature, and some descend the depths into the darkest recesses of the human mind. I have included a full cross section of all of my thoughts and feelings. It is a classic "over-share", and I have no shame in doing so. A Master Teacher once spoke to me, and said "no teacher shall effect your salvation, you must work it out for yourself". "Follow new paths of consciousness by letting go of all of the mental concepts and controls of your past". This writing represents my personal work towards that ultimate end.