Ginger (9/18/2007-06/06/2016)

This blog is written in honor of our beloved Ginger, who died on June 6, 2016.  I am going to try to write this one from Ginger’s perspective.  Ginger’s relationship with us coincided with the most difficult period in my life, and her story is still not yet quite fleshed out in its fullness.  But here it is anyway, even though it is only a skeleton.

As a dog, it was a very difficult mission for me to communicate with my human companions.  This is a most difficult story for me to tell now, as I lost my life experience in the human year 2016, so I must channel this story through my beloved human companion, to have it written. I never learned how to talk human very well, let alone put my thoughts to paper. But my Holy Canine Spirit listens well to me, and she says that she can translate my story from me through Bruce. So please forgive me if what I have to say appears to be a little simple, or, at times, confused.  I live in a different world than you do, yet our worlds overlap in love, mutual support, and companionship, when they are not in collision due to mutual misunderstanding or grief.

I was born into this wonderful world through my mother in the year that you call 2007. I started my life in a pile of other warm, furry family members. We just did not have a lot of energy to do much, other than hang around the warm, milky way of momma’s belly. Things weren’t too clear for me what I was supposed to be doing, so I just did what comes naturally, and followed the lead of the other little warm ones that were my family. When my eyes finally opened up, it was like I finally got to see what I looked like, because there were eight other little guys and girls who looked like each other so I must be one of them, too!

From time to time another big creature would come by and watch us while we tugged at mama. She was a strange looking critter, bigger than mama, always standing on her hind legs, and she only had hair on her head, unlike our mama. I did not know what to think about her, and my brothers and sisters just kind of accepted that she somehow belonged in our lives, but we weren’t sure why she was. Many darks and lights went by, and my brothers and sisters really were getting bigger. We would nibble on each other when we weren’t tugging on mama’s milk makers, or we would wrestle with each other, and eventually all fall asleep together in a big pile.

I was created and prepared to bring comfort, love and protection for the human creators that build great structures and invent magical things. Yet, with all of their creativity, they cannot consistently create self-worth for themselves, or lasting, loving relationships with all of the other members of their species.  My favorite invention is their metal legs, which whisks them away at great speeds along hard paths. I especially like to ride in them, and stick my head out of the window to feel the rush of the air through my hair and over my face

I first met my human friends when I was a youngster. My first human was a young woman much like mama’s helper who did not know how to care for me very well. My human did not feed me through her belly, and made me eat some solid, foul tasting stuff out of can. I got sick pretty often, and I was often not able to hold my food down very long without giving it back to her. She fed me the same food that she fed her cat, a funny looking creature about my size initially, though I quickly became much larger. I did not hate the food, but it sure did not taste like anything that special. And it did not taste good when it came back up into my mouth again, which was happening more and more frequently.

My human took me to a place where other animals go for short periods of time so that other humans can look at us closer. He stuck something into my backside that stung, and removed a dark colored fluid from me. I could tell that he was concerned about something, but I did not understand what my human and this man were talking about.

I was to return to this place two more times over the next three hundred nights and days. The last visit the vet told my human that I might need to go to sleep to make me feel better. He said that if I slept the rest of my life, my human might be happier. My human was not happy to hear that man in the white coats’ story, and left his clinic with me. I was happy to be awake still, ’cause I did not like the idea of sleeping the rest of my life. I loved to run with my friend, and to ride in her box with spinning feet.

My human said something about my having poor kidney health, and that she could not afford to provide care for me, so she took me to a place where other homeless animals lived.   I was very sad to lose my human, and now I was in a place surrounded by other sad friends who had also lost their human.  This place was called West Columbia Gorge Humane Society, and it was what they called a “no-kill shelter”.  Well, that was certainly reassuring, let me bark at you!  I was still an active young girl, and I wanted to live!

I was there for two months, and finally a nice couple came up from Oregon to have a look at me.  They put me on a leash, and took me out for a run!  I was so happy!  I had not been running since my first human abandoned me, and I knew then that I might be heading to a home with some new great friends. They were both great runners, even though they only ran on two feet.  How do they not fall over, anyway?

Yet when I arrived at my new home, I was greeted by yet another furry little creature like my previous human companion had.  Her name was Patches, and she seemed to rule the house.  She would follow her human parents everywhere they went, and they called her their “puppy-cat”.   I knew that it would take a some time to find where I fit in here.  She was always sweet to me, but she was a little hard to get to know, because she talked a different language than all of us.  I think that I could talk human a little better than she could, but since this family was new to me, I did not have a lot of confidence.

I felt that my new home was haunted by the ghost of a departed loved one. There were many smells that told me that I was not the first of my kind to bless this household. Yet there was a vibration still present that told me that I had much work to do to help my new friends find their way in our new shared world. The room where they slept at night still had the scent of a death of a beloved friend, and partner of theirs.  I was to learn that her name was Iris.

Iris, Sharon, and Bruce at the Mt St. Helens area.

I could feel the sorrow that still plagued my man friend. I sensed that he felt responsible for his friend’s untimely death, and I knew that I had much work to do to help him with his healing.  I could smell the place next to my human’s bed where their friend had slept, and I overhead them say that this was the exact place that their first friend had died.  My only desire was to be the best friend that I could be, and perhaps become an angel, just like their first friend had become.

My new humans seemed to have some problems with me.  My only intention was to be their friend, and to protect them, yet it seemed like I was doing something wrong, and I could not quite figure out what I needed to do.  My new dad had his own father, a man named Beryl, who just loved and adored me, so I knew that the problem may not be my own, but what was I to do?  But I loved it when Beryl would complement me, and tell me what a wonderful dog that I was.  Beryl had a wonderful companion named Rocky, who became my best friend ever.  I saw Rocky, and Beryl, almost every day of my life, and they became my family, too.  That Siberian Husky was one of the smartest, most  exuberant creatures that I ever met!

I knew someday my new dad, Bruce, would love me too, but he seemed distracted.  My master had grief issues, and they only worsened upon the death of his mother six months after I entered their lives.  I heard that they had to disconnect her from some sort of life support, and the entire family hurt mightily because of that.  But as a result of the mother’s death, we saw Beryl and Rocky every day.  Beryl would drive his metal legs down to our house for his evening meal, and he would always have Rocky with him. This went on for three years, until Beryl lost his driving abilities due to the progression of something my companions called dementia.  

I later learned that my dad, Bruce, was also having problems with his work.  He worked at the City of Portland, making sure that the water got pumped to all of the homes.  Yet he also was under grueling stress from a place that he worked, which he called a “hostile work environment”.  He was also taking some kind of medication to help overcome a problem that had arisen in the year prior to Iris’s death.  He called these little strips Suboxone, which eliminated his dependency upon something he called Oxycontin. I overheard him say that his life became hijacked by the Oxycontin, after he became addicted to them to treat the pain for a painful spiral fracture of his tibia, an injury incurred through his training for competitive running and which took several months to heal.  The month that I can into his life, he made a decision to get help, and the doctor prescribed him this new medication.  He was to take these strips for over one year, while he visited a wonderful doctor named Reznick, who brought him great healing messages.  But whatever was going on, we just could not quite get our hearts connected initially, so that I could soar like an angel with him, just like his previous friend, Iris.

Wahclella Falls Hike April 23, 2012

My forever brother wanted to run with me the first year we were together. He could run with the wind, and boy did I like to try to run with him. He was not like the other humans, who seemed much larger, and slower, than he was.  I heard him say that he was one of the fastest older long distance runners around, but, hey, I only liked to run shorter distances, because that is where the fun is!  My ancestors would run for forty miles in a day, over vast, dangerous terrain, just to seek food and shelter, but, hey, I already had both, so who needs to be a hero?  My human dad, though, would run vast distances daily before I met him, sometimes putting nearly thirty miles in a day!  What’s up with that?  No wonder he broke so many of his leg bones while training over the years, he is just too heavy of runner to be running on only two feet!  Thankfully, he had slowed WAY DOWN by the time I hooked up with him!  Yet, his nickname on his magic viewing screen is run4play, which I don’t think he ever did, since he was a puppy.  It is important to have a goal though!

Initially, I ran with him with ease.  But as time went on, for some reason, I felt like I was overheating, and I could not keep up with him on his runs.  He understood, and stopped taking me on those hard runs with him.  But my human companions always took me on daily walks, which were always wonderful!  And, every afternoon, I would get a second walk, once Rocky joined with us in the evening, so life was good!

I became a collector of balls!  It did not matter what size the ball was, if it was on the ground, it was fair game for me.  I was able to get my teeth into hundreds of balls over the years, including at least eight basketballs, and four tetherballs.  Dad would attach a tether ball to a string on a pole, and swing the ball around, and I just went crazy waiting for that ball!  I would jump my highest, and sometimes sink my teeth into the ball, and feel the rush of air as it escaped.  Mom and dad would utter something, sounding like a groan, but I knew that they shared my joy.

My parents made sure to keep me supplied with tennis balls too.  Dad would throw the tennis balls with some sort of plastic slingshot, and I would chase them.  I would not bring them back, because that was just too much energy.  So dad would make sure to have several in his possession, and throw them to me all around the park.  He would sometimes gather them back up, and just toss them all again!  He was quite the ball guy, too!

I took innumerable walks and hikes with my human companions over the years.  I loved the wilderness walks, especially the ones that had a creek nearby!  I would overheat, and then walk through the creek, and water cool my overheated body!  I could always walk so much further when we had the friendly water spirits nearby, otherwise, I would have to stop repeatedly, and await some cooling water from my companions.  I drank more water than my humans, yet they never minded.  Some of my most challenging hikes were from Larch Mountain down to Multnomah Falls Lodge, and Ramona Falls.

My companion had to spend more and more time taking care of his disabled father, and because of the continuing problems with his employment, he took an early retirement in 2013, to be able to take better care of Beryl.  We went up to Beryl’s house every morning, while Bruce prepared his breakfast, and made sure that he was organized for the day until the dinner hour.  Bruce would drive his metal legs up every evening, and bring Beryl and Rocky down to our house for dinner.  I had two homes now, and a great family! 

Retirement from work made Dad a new person.  Dad had healed of his grief, and was bonding with me on a complete, loving level, and I felt, as he felt, that we were now companions of the Spirit of Love.  One day we were all sitting around on our deck, and i heard Dad say to Mom, that having us together in love and companionship made him feel whole, and he had never been happier in his life.  Yeah for our team!

One time we went camping at Cultus Lake, in the year 2015.  We went hiking around the beautiful high mountain lake one day, and I was confronted by a young human with a mechanical contraption that looked very threatening to me.  Dad called it a mountain bike, but I had never seen one before, and I needed to protect my family.  I nipped the women in her thigh, to make sure that she stayed away from us.  Everybody was quite concerned about the nip, and I noted that dad gave a check to her to cover her $310 emergency room visit to examine my warning to her.  Dad and mom felt like we were no longer welcome at the campground, so we quickly left.  We then moved to a wonderful new location, camping on a beautiful lake called Crane Prairie Reservoir.

Over the next year, my stamina dramatically diminished, and I continued to be sick occasionally.  I visited the vet several times, and had some tests performed.  It was then found that I really did have kidney disease, and that was the reason that I overheated so often.  Barbara Cain, the beautiful veterinarian, started giving me injections of water under my skin, to help me keep water in my body, since the kidneys were not doing their job very well.  My owners never mentioned putting me to sleep, as they were dedicated to my life, and wanted me to live the best life that I could, even though I had such problems.  So every couple of months, I developed a camel hump of water, and I maintained my health as best as possible, though I seemed to feel worse and worse every day.

My time was almost gone, the Great Canine Spirit informed me. We saw how my human suffered so with the care of his own father, and his troubled mind struggled with how to best protect me from the ravages of my own kidney failure. I loved my human so much, and my heart ached for him, and his suffering. So I woke my brother up, and brought him to our living room couch in the middle of the night. He would call this time 2:45am, or in the morning. It was a very dark night, early in June.

We both sat on the couch facing each other silently. My brother reached his hand out to the side of my head to caress me, and I held my heart paw out to him, for it was time to carry the message from the Great Canine. A light appeared all around us, as it always does when I exchange love, yet this time, my brother appeared to see it, and be amazed by it. He looked around, and at me, in wonder and curiosity. I could see that he could see that a death was near.

I could also see that he was confused. I could feel that his chronic distress was causing him to confuse my impending death with his own. I kept my heart, and my message, open, and he then heard my truth, that he no longer needed to give me those horrible water injections to keep me alive, those huge camel humps that the beautiful doctor friend had been giving me for the last several months.

Ginger’s last trip to Bryce Canyon, May 2016

My humans then took me on an amazing trip to the state that they call Utah.  We traveled to places called Zion and Bryce, and we took some amazing walks, and had some great views.  My daddy had to lift me into the car now, as I was too weak to jump into the back seat on my own most times.  I could get out on my own, though, so we made it work.

I did not have much time left.  My daddy would take me to the river, and let me wade in it along the shore. I still loved the water, it kept me feeling cooler and loved.  Daddy would carry my favorite balls, and sticks, but I just could not chase them anymore.  But I could lay down and chew on them a little, and that seemed to please mom and dad.

My day for forever sleep was here.  I walked down to lay beside the creek in back of our home.  Dad thought that I had chosen to die there, and after staying with me for a few hours, he went up to bed.  He left the patio door open, just in case I might come into the house.  It got to be in the middle of the night, and I heard Iris calling to me from inside of the house.  I struggled to my feet, I WAS SO WEAK.  I staggered towards the deck, then rested.  I staggered up to the step, and somehow made it up to the threshold of the door.  I had to rest some more.  Finally, I just knew that I had to made it to where I slept, where Iris had her final sleep, so that I could have my own.  I barely made it into the bedroom, and then fell upon my bed.

Ginger was never defined by her limitations. Here she is, half a day before her death, resting alongside our creek

I heard Iris call to me, and say it was OK to let go, that she would guide me the rest of the way.  I did not want to leave my friends, my saviors, yet Iris told me that I had earned my wings, and to let go of my pain and sickness, and fly with her to my next experience.

I hope that I can greet my beloved humans when it is time for them to leave their own pain filled bodies.  Until then, I will run with Iris in the great meadows of our new home, with boundless other friends, where we no longer have pain, no longer are sick, or no longer have limited energy. 

I am finally free.

Our memorial altar to our beloved Ginger