Needs major rework, but it is interesting!
Chapter 2: Rewiring the Cosmic Circuit: A Master Teacher’s Guide to Universal Truth
The truth acts upon the human soul much like rainwater pouring over jagged rocks embedded within a mountain of ignorance. For generations, through countless iterations of the individual self, the water flows. Eventually, it wears down the rough edges, creating gentler pathways for future rains to travel back to the source. The impatient traveler, however, thrusts his life and his body upon the jagged edges. He causes himself the greatest harm—even death—before the essence of truth can heal and transform him.
The humbled wanderer, in contrast, bears witness to this ever-evolving process of revelation. He lets the water gently erode his own rough edges, allowing the current to return to its source within his own being.
I have played the part of the impatient traveler. I have thrown myself against the rocks of addiction, despair, and misunderstanding until my spirit was bruised and my circuits were fried. But in the great summer of 1987, I began to learn the way of the water. I was an electrician by trade, accustomed to the laws of resistance, voltage, and current, but I was about to be rewired by a force that obeyed no earthly schematic.
There is no greater source for the traumatic wounding of our soul than to be forced into a mistaken understanding of our Self, bereft of its native Love and Truth. We are conditioned right out of our spiritual integrity. Tragically, many never find the willingness to begin the search for our real lost essence and spiritual Presence. We live as unplugged appliances, wondering why we have no power.
As I moved forward spiritually in 1987, I was still quite new to the path of healing and transformation. I had left my old life behind—the drug dealers, the underworld of Portland, the search for the grave—and I was open to the experience of spiritual connection, and potentially, mastery. I had developed a rigorous meditation practice, eschewing committed relationships to develop a deeper spiritual reality. I remained excited about the possibilities for my life, having finally made conscious contact with the God of my understanding. I had recently experienced a dramatic, miraculous healing of my body and mind. A new energy permeated my being. I felt like I was finally swimming in a vast new sea of discovery, though I had not yet connected the dots or started consciously rebuilding my new self.
I could never have anticipated the experience I was about to have on this particular day: July 21, 1987.
I was sitting in an evening meditation, repeating a mantra I had developed to aid my focus:
“Master Teacher of the Light, Master Teacher of the Light.”
I repeated it within myself, a rhythmic pulse seeking a signal in the static. I was meditating several hours a day, and though my life was bearing fruit from previous connections with the Spirit, I remained driven to find deeper layers of meaning. This meditation was to become Truth’s bell-ringer for me.
Without warning, the circuit closed.
I was lifted from my body awareness. It wasn’t a subtle drift; it was a sudden dislocation. I had a sense that I now had a decision to make. It was as if I were driving an automobile—a metaphor for the steering wheel of my mind. In that suspended moment, I realized I could continue steering, heading in my usual direction for life, clutching the controls of my known reality. Or, I could let go of the wheel.
I chose to let go.
Somehow, through a mechanism still a mystery to me, I was released from the steering wheel of my mind and my conditioning. There was an exhilarating inner rush whereby I was totally released from myself, from what was left of my old psychological set, my burdens, and my body! My essence traveled into a great unknown, which was neither light nor dark. It was like I passed through an apparently infinite matrix or structure. I had entered a dimension of experience where interconnected structures of alive and intelligent energy were manifest.
Later, I was to learn that this matrix was the very collective consciousness of mankind, with all of its intelligence and its stupidity. I quickly flashed by that mysterious and unnameable energy and began almost a half-spiral downward, where I came to a place of complete darkness, or more accurately, emptiness.
I felt totally at home here. I felt as if I were in the womb of some great loving presence. There was nothing at all to witness here, at least initially. But in this silence, the Master Teacher began to speak. It was not a man with a beard on a cloud; it was the voice of the Universe itself, speaking through the circuitry of my own soul.
What followed was a training program—a rewiring of my internal schematic—downloaded in an instant but taking a lifetime to decode. It came in seven distinct aspects, each a breaker switch that had to be thrown to allow the full voltage of Truth to flow.
I. The Illusion of Self: “You Can’t Be Real”
Almost immediately, a laughing, happy voice seemed to be speaking to me, or more precisely, through me. It was joyous, cosmic laughter, unburdened by the gravity of human suffering.
“YOU CAN’T BE REAL.”
When it was stated, it was delivered with joy. Yet, when I re-entered my normal way of being later, it became a challenging, if not threatening, statement. To the electrician, to the man named Elisha, to the son of Beryl and Corinne, this was an affront. I feel pain, therefore I am real. I pay taxes, therefore I am real.
But to see as God, or Truth, sees, I must be mastered by this truth.
The ego is the sum total of all my judgments, the sum total of my human experience, my acculturation, my conditioning, my separation from God, Love, my fellow man, and Truth. The ego looks out from itself and sees everything and everyone as if they are separate from itself, while totally failing to see that all that it ever sees, unto eternity, is itself.
We only see what we have created. I only see “I,” and “I” is the creation of being conscious. Through this ancient and venerated process, I also have created the concept of “you,” as both experiences arise simultaneously. There really does not exist the “you” that I have formed; my perception of “you” is an incomplete mental creation that only exists in my mind.
The human race tends to confuse the verbal description—the schematic—with the actual experience of the person. The map is not the territory. My ego is the sum total of all my time-based thoughts about time-based behaviors of myself and others. If I want to see clearly, I must accept that my main mode of viewing the world was through the ego’s eyes of time-based judgments and the unreality that this creates.
To “follow new paths of consciousness” while knowing that “you can’t be real” sets up a transformational dynamic. If “you” can’t be real, then everything that I associate with “I” is suspect. Every time I identify with a person, a process, or a place, I have created a shackle. “I am an electrician,” or “I am an alcoholic,” or “I am full of shit,” or “I am a lonely, isolated person.” Whatever I associate my “I am” with creates the imperative to travel that old path.
If I am not real, then I am free. I can stop thinking time-based thoughts, rehashing and rehearsing old memories. I can trust in the Mystery to create my new “timeless self” in each unique moment.
II. The Primacy of Personal Experience
The second aspect of the training floated through the void like a commandment written on the wind:
“No teacher shall effect your salvation, you must work it out for your self.”
This was a radical departure from the religious programming of my youth and the “guru culture” of the New Age movement surrounding me in 1987. We are conditioned to look for an external power source—a priest, a savior, a crystal, a book. We want someone else to do the wiring for us. We want to plug into their outlet and glow with their light.
But the Master Teacher was clear: You are the generator.
I realized that there is no greater source for the traumatic wounding of our soul than to be forced into a mistaken understanding of our Self by external authorities. We are conditioned right out of our spiritual integrity. We are told that God is “out there,” that salvation is a transaction, that we are broken appliances in need of a repairman.
This message forced me to reject the notion of the external savior. It demanded that I become the scientist of my own soul. I had to become the electrician who climbs the pole in the storm. I could not rely on the schematics drawn by others, for those schematics were drawn by people who were just as lost in the matrix of collective consciousness as I was.
The truth that I live is the only truth that I can give. Any other truth is hearsay. It is a rumor of God, not the experience of God.
III. The Calculus of Enlightenment: Rejection of Time-Based Thought
Then, the download became strangely technical. A mathematical formula for re-entry back into the great unknown was given to me. Because of my background, it appeared as a differential equation I could understand. It was the physics of the soul.
The formula described the limit, as delta T goes to zero (where T is thought as a function of time), divided by delta t (where t is time itself).
LIM dT/dt, as dt approaches zero.
In layman’s terms: with the total elimination of the movement of time-based thought, the direct perception of reality becomes possible.
The solution to this equation is the great unknown: INFINITY.
We live our lives trapped in the variable of ‘t’—time. We regret the past, we fear the future. Our thoughts (‘T’) are functions of this time. We think about what was, and what will be. But the Master Teacher was showing me that the bandwidth of the Universe is only accessible when the clock stops.
When the movement of thought (dT) slows down to absolute zero, when we stop narrating our lives and start witnessing them, the denominator of the equation vanishes. And in mathematics, when you divide by zero, you get Infinity.
The difference between spiritual being and human becoming took on mathematical significance. ‘Becoming’ implies time. ‘Being’ implies the cessation of time. To find the Master Teacher, I had to stop the clock. I had to short-circuit the linear progression of my mind.
IV. The Necessity of Humility
This entire download was too much to digest in that moment. It was an overload of the system. But implicit in these teachings was a profound lesson in humility.
To accept these truths, I had to accept the total inadequacy of my human mind. The mind I had used to survive, to learn my trade, to navigate the drug underworld—this mind was insufficient for the task of Truth. The intellect is a tool for navigating the matrix, not for transcending it.
This is a true path of humility: to finally see in its totality the shortcomings of the human mind, and to become willing to go beyond it. It requires admitting that “I” know nothing. The “I” that thinks it knows is the very “I” that “can’t be real.”
I had no one to discuss this earth-shattering spiritual event with. I knew that everybody else would think that I had gone insane again. So, I kept this inner teaching a secret for many years. This silence was a crucible of humility. I walked among men as an electrician, carrying the secret of the universe in my pocket, unable to speak it, forced to live it instead.
V. The Confrontation with Inner Tricksters
Lastly, a most confusing revelation came. As I floated in that state of heightened awareness, I could see the field of energy that constituted my body/mind awareness. It was a shimmering aura, a magnetic field of consciousness.
But embedded within it, I saw two almost complete thought forms—identity forms—which I recognized as distinct entities.
Yes, I had two “extras” attached to my field.
In that insightful moment, I could see that they were not there for my greater good. I regarded these two unwelcome components as tricksters. They seemed to allay the feelings of loneliness of my ego, perhaps only because they seemed vaguely familiar to me. They appeared to be caricatures of two unique people.
I sensed that I was supposed to let go of these illusions of self, but I did not know what to do. I was to learn later, much later, after my father’s death, that these two tricksters were creations I had made in my youth. They were responses to the names “Mom” and “Dad.” They were formed from my associations with their trauma, my suffering and abandonment as a baby, and their intentions for me. They were the energetic residue of my unhealthy attachments and historical reactions to their points of view.
These were the parasites of the soul. The two extra identity vortices in the “human energy field matrix” did not really ever disappear; they just became unconscious again for me. I later associated them with two trauma-inspired black holes in consciousness around which my lack of self-worth and fear of death swirled.
I now understood the basis for the potential development of multiple personality disorder. I saw how the whole human race suffered from this disorder to varying degrees. We are all possessed by the ghosts of our past, by the internalized voices of our progenitors. Schizophrenia, oppression of others, repression of self, people-pleasing, racism, misogyny—they all share a common foundation in these unexamined attachments.
The Master Teacher showed me that to be free, I had to perform an exorcism of the mind. I had to cut the power to these old circuits.
VI. The Understanding of Collective Consciousness
This journey began with a vision of the matrix—the interconnected structures of alive and intelligent energy. I realized this web was the collective consciousness of mankind.
We tend to think our thoughts are our own. The Master Teacher showed me that we are merely nodes in a vast, pulsating grid. We are receiving and transmitting the signal of “humanity.” This signal is filled with intelligence, yes, but also with stupidity, fear, and delusion.
When I “flashed by” this matrix, I saw it for what it was: a construct. A consensus reality. The “world” as we know it is a shared hallucination, a conspiracy of silence where everyone agrees to pretend that the shadows on the wall are real.
This understanding is terrifying, but also liberating. If the collective consciousness is just a grid of energy, then I am not bound by it. I can unplug. I can choose to broadcast a different signal. But I must also recognize that everyone around me is still plugged in. They are operating on the voltage of the collective delusion.
VII. The Paradox of Engagement: “Fuck the World”
This brings us to the final, and perhaps most jarring, aspect of the training. How does one live with this knowledge? How does the electrician return to the job site knowing that the building itself is an illusion?
I sought an answer in the world of form. I began to seek out “my people.” I visited a crystal store, a new-age rock shop on Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway. The owner, Jack, was a spiritual realist disguised as a capitalist. He stocked the books and the crystals that the seekers craved, but he held no illusions about them.
I pondered with Jack the possibility of bringing healing to others. I felt so blessed by my own healing, by my encounter with the Master Teacher. I felt I had something unique and precious to share. I wanted to be a transformer, stepping down this high-voltage truth so others could use it.
Jack listened, smiled a BIG SMILE, and stated simply:
“FUCK THE WORLD!”
I was confused. I asked for clarification.
“Bruce,” he said (using my birth name), “the world could care less about your healing, and what new truth you might bring. The world exists for a reason. The whole fundamental consciousness has been established to make the common man feel OK about being less than who they are, and to limit those who might rebel against the established disorder. Religion, philosophy—it’s all designed to keep people in darkness while telling them they are on the path to salvation. It has always been about disempowering and controlling the population.”
He leaned in, his eyes twinkling with a dangerous wisdom. “The ‘world’ has created its own dysfunction and revels in swimming in its own cesspool of misunderstanding. There is NOTHING a sane man can do about it, other than just laugh at it.”
I felt rejected. My childhood fantasy was that I needed to save the world to be loved. But Jack was pouring ice water on those smoldering ashes.
And then, the eerie resonance hit me.
In the spiritual experience of July 21, 1987, the Master Teacher had said, “You can’t be real.” It was said with a laugh. For a moment, I was allowed to look through the eyes of God and see that the matrix was unreality itself. All that Truth can do is laugh at it and dismiss it.
Jack was parroting the very idea that my God had revealed to me.
This is the paradox of engagement. To truly help the world, you must realize the world is an illusion. You must detach from the outcome. You must stop trying to be the savior. You must “laugh at the world”—not out of cruelty, but out of the recognition of its absurdity.
I stopped “laughing at the world” when my responsibilities increased in the mid-1990s. Traveling through the diseased world of form, with the need for eating and gainful employment, tends to distract one from the truth that “all that is human is illusion.”
But the lesson remains. We are all containers for Infinite Spirit, albeit broken ones.
Welcome to the Illusion
So, here is the summary of the Master Teacher’s curriculum, delivered in a flash of silence and unpacked over a lifetime of noise:
You are not real. Your thoughts are a function of time, and time is a barrier to truth. You are filled with the ghosts of your parents and the parasites of your trauma. You are plugged into a matrix of collective stupidity. No one can save you but yourself. And the only sane response to this cosmic joke is to laugh.
Welcome to the ILLUSION.
Please, enjoy yourself while you are here.
Discard all your knowns and conclusions into the universal dumpster. Live from the state of “unknowing,” where insight and new knowledge may be spawned. There is only one Mind, and it can only be experienced in the unknown.
If you are not enjoying the show, remember, you are the co-creator of it. Try changing the channel. See what happens.
There must be the DEEPEST of desires to find the truth, and the DEEPEST of intentions not to neglect it in the face of attacks from others. The human “Conspiracy Of Silence” points to the FACT that mankind covers itself with illusory verbal constructs, worships the illusion as if it is fact, and will defend to the death its creations.
I have saved the world from myself, and there really is nothing more for me to do, save witness the suffering of others, and point my finger to a potential new direction for those who choose to awaken.
Those that do not choose to awaken will remain stick figures in other people’s dream of world domination.
Collectively, we are terminally ill.
Please, save yourself.
And write a great story, or book!
Oh seeker of truth, on God’s High Mount you would climb,
Though you stumble through the valley’s shifting sands of time.
Stop confusing your mind with worn out rhyme and reason,
For they are eternally charged by this moment of truth with treason.
Oh mental marathoner, on life’s treadmill you just stand,
Second hand words and thoughts keeps you life’s also-ran.
Forever chasing in vain love’s all-knowing voice.
So be still, for with your run’s end, is true cause to rejoice!
Oh shadow boxer of evil will you ever tire?
It is champion of a dream world to which you only aspire.
Stop resuscitating those dead illusions with mental pugilist blows,
And reveal a peaceful mind reserved only for the One who now knows.
Please wake up to love’s voice, sweet somnambulator,
And realize the truth, that I within any image of you is greater,
Than any image you may ever form or learn.
Your world will then reflect back to you the One for which you now yearn.
