Chapter 1: The Architecture of Truth and Its Unlimited Bandwidth
“We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.”
—Anais Nin
There is the “what is”, the absolute objective truth of existence, the foundation of all being, the field of infinite possibilities embedded with the quantum potential field, Cosmos, Universe, God, etc. and there is the erroneous conceptual overlay to fundamental truth that the unenlightened minds of human beings have unconsciously painted over it like graffiti. We all live in a relative state of hypnosis because of this fact. This is the truth, what else do I dare say?
Read no further, my work is done here.
Or is it?
Always remember, the finger pointing at the moon is not the moon, as the Zen Buddhists often advise us. With that in mind, my words will point at the cosmic truth, but the truth must be personally experienced, or you just continue to live a secondhand life experience. This book is my description of that conceptual overlay, becoming yet another conceptual overlay, yet I indicate how we may tune our conceptual antennas and neurobiological circuits to give and receive more accurate data.
My life’s work has been defined by the understanding of systems. As an electrician, computer engineer, and systems analyst, my vocation was the design and construction of electrical, electronic, and computer systems, and the act of troubleshooting existing systems—locating the precise point of failure, initiating repair, and restoring balance. I have supported multi-billion-dollar chip fabrication plants and maintained the complex pumping systems for an entire city’s water supply. I have built sophisticated computer gaming systems for customers around the globe. I possess a profound love for functioning systems, and I remain intensely curious as to why some succeed while others, even after long periods of operation, eventually succumb to catastrophic failure.
The first step, inevitably, is the construction of the human system. We have many creation myths trying to explain that conundrum away. So, equally important is to understand the system. Before any repair can begin, one must understand how it is presently wired, perhaps with some supporting documentation about its history..
This book is my attempt to apply that same diagnostic lens to the most complex system of all: the human being. We are about to embark on a great adventure, a journey into the center of our being and consciousness itself. Our tools will be words and stories, consciously developed to create containers for our infinite spirit. These containers will keep us safe as we uncouple from the old, frayed wiring of misunderstanding and personal dis-ease, allowing us to rediscover our capacity to live by the power of our timeless, limitless, present-moment self.
To understand the system, we first need to trace the roots of its malfunctions. This means examining the framework of our built-in biological and neurological wiring, along with the cultural programming we inherited, which we didn’t consciously choose for ourselves.
The pursuit of truth is, fundamentally, an act of excavation. We dig through the strata of culture, upbringing, and inherited belief in hopes of finding the bedrock of existence. For a significant portion of my life, I operated under the assumption that the Christian church was the shovel with which I was meant to dig. It was the institution that promised answers to the relentless questions of the soul. Yet, as I matured and my spiritual peripheral vision widened—aided by the harsh crucible of addiction and the quiet revelations of nature—I came to a stark realization: the church was not the vehicle for truth I needed. In fact, it had become an enclosure, walling me off from the very infinitude I sought to explore.
The church offered me a cosmology of strict binaries—heaven and hell, saved and sinner—that felt less like a guide to existence and more like a transaction meant to control behavior. As I moved into adulthood, the anthropomorphism of the Divine became a barrier I could not surmount. To assign gender to the Infinite, to bind the Source of All Being to the structures of human patriarchy, seemed to shrink the Divine into something manageable, understandable, and ultimately, false.
I was seeking the ocean; the institution was offering me a cup of water and telling me it was the sea. To experience the infinity of our cosmos means we must step outside of these familiar, narrow frequencies and courageously follow new paths of consciousness, accessing the unlimited bandwidth of the universe.
While I struggled with the intellectual containment of religious dogma, a deeper, more visceral wiring issue was plaguing my internal system.
One of my earliest stories is a powerful diagnostic tool. As a baby, I was often wrapped in a blanket and placed in the car in the garage at night so my parents could sleep. My father was chasing the American Dream, working two jobs, and I was just another “damned crying baby.” Though I had no conscious memory of it, this experience left me feeling abandoned and lonely from the very beginning. A toxicity pervaded my childhood home—the same toxicity that still pervades our culture.
The unhealed traumas of our past become entombed within our bodily tissues. When our personalities are formed by layering ego upon our wounds, the wounds become inseparable from us. For years, I believed my cries weren’t important, and this belief shaped my reality. I felt alone because I had been taught that I was.
Society is often the greatest inflictor of trauma on the individual. Our medical, economic, religious, and political traditions have largely failed to understand humanity’s basic, innermost needs: to be valued and to be heard. This failure causes unnecessary pain, and we all try to manage our symptoms in our own unique, and often dysfunctional, ways. For years, I chipped away at my life through self-destructive choices. My suicidal behaviors existed on a spectrum. It wasn’t just about the acute act, but also about not fully developing my potential—not connecting with the unlimited bandwidth of my own spirit.
From 1971 to 1987, I lived as a practicing alcoholic, drug addict, and someone struggling with mental illness, losing much of my ability to choose freely. On January 28, 1986, I made the deliberate decision to end my life and came close to doing so. Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on that day, trying to understand the chain of thoughts and events that led me there.
Why do we suffer in isolation? Because many of us lack a life narrative—a story that embodies the wisdom we’ve gained and the problems we’ve overcome. I call this an aspect of our culture’s conspiracy of silence.
It is not an intentional silence, but one born from a lack of words to describe our personal pain. This silence is exploited by those around us and by our political, religious, and economic leaders. They assume that if we say nothing, we are compliant. The conspiracy is built right into the framework of our collective consciousness. Our shared knowledge attempts to keep us in alignment with each other, no matter how out of phase with the truth that knowledge may be.
To not express ourselves honestly is to invite our own early demise, spiritually and physically. We become invisible to each other, and worse, we become invisible to ourselves. Other people’s stories and their garbage get back-filled into the empty spaces within our own, adding to our internal confusion and chaos. We must choose to stop adhering to the worn-out patterns inculcated by our culture. We must penetrate the conspiracy of silence and bring the light of a loving heart and healing words into the hidden darkness.
My spiritual awakening began in 1987, marking my own exit from the chaotic mindset that had defined my life. I realized that no psychiatrist, priest, or external savior could do my work for me. There was no mediator who would bring salvation from the outside. I had to begin a search for my own personal truth.
This healing journey included what I like to call my “Miracle Experiment.” In simple terms, it’s about choosing to heal from cultural conditioning and its subtle influence, as well as from traumatic wounds and the mindset they foster. It’s about facing the shadows of our past, viewing them through the lens of insight and compassion, and stepping into new paths of conscious growth.
I recall a moment of profound realization during this period. I had re-entered the emotional experience of my darkest times to write about them, and I felt sad and disconnected. I took my sports car for a long drive, seeking relief, but found none. As I slowed down to turn toward home, a dove flew over my car, leading me for twenty seconds to a place to turn around. In that moment, I remembered what the dove symbolized: the reassurance that my guiding spirit had not abandoned me. A torrent of tears erupted, followed by an amazing wave of forgiveness and compassion for the past version of myself.
Wow, was I wounded! And so are many of my fellow Americans.
The Miracle Experiment brings the understanding that we can uncouple from identifiers like “I am a victim” or “I am an alcoholic.” Through mindfulness, we can reduce time-based thinking and create a new life experience. We can access the unlimited bandwidth of the present moment, where the signal is clear and the connection to the Source is direct.
I invited you to consider: are the walls you worship within protecting your spirit, or are they hiding the limitless horizon?
This book isn’t for those who are healthy, wealthy, and wise, content with the way things are or just searching for more entertainment. It’s for those ready to create their own path toward our shared potential for healing. If you’re craving more from life and feel held back by the silence around you, then this book was written for you.
My life’s lessons were not gained in a classroom or at the feet of a guru. My wisdom comes from real life—from love, friendship, family, and work. Life has trained me to be an electrician, a psychologist, a philosopher, and a spiritual explorer. Since 1987, I have chosen to live more fully, with enhanced awareness and honest expression. I experience a peace that isn’t fleeting; it is a constant presence that never existed before.
Make peace with your story. Develop your own narrative and be the hero of your own journey. Find and cherish your story, no matter how difficult it is at first, because as you heal, that story takes on a significance that connects it to the grand story of us all.
Are you tired of your own suffering?
Are you tired of being a silent figure in the dreams of others?
Are you tired of your past wounds controlling your present?
What is your story?
Where is it hidden?
We need to hear it.
Prepare yourself, you are about to embark on the path into the universe’s unlimited bandwidth of life, love, and death.
