Penetrating The Conspiracy Of Silence (My Miracle Experiment For Living A More Intelligent, Spiritual Life)

Introduction

“We set sail on this new sea because there is new knowledge to be gained, and new rights to be won, and they must be won and used for the progress of all people. For space science, like nuclear science and all technology, has no conscience of its own. Whether it will become a force for good or ill depends on man, and only if the United States occupies a position of pre-eminence can we help decide whether this new ocean will be a sea of peace or a new terrifying theater of war. I do not say that we should or will go unprotected against the hostile misuse of space any more than we go unprotected against the hostile use of land or sea, but I do say that space can be explored and mastered without feeding the fires of war, without repeating the mistakes that man has made in extending his writ around this globe of ours.

There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict in outer space as yet. Its hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation may never come again. But why, some say, the Moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask, why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?

We choose to go to the Moon! We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too.”

—-President John F. Kennedy, September 12, 1962

Every great dream begins with a dreamer.  Always remember, you have within you the strength, patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

—–Harriet Tubman

In 1962, President Kennedy proposed a great adventure for America.  I have borrowed from our hallowed leader’s ambitious address, and I now proffer to our country another national undertaking into “space”.  I have reimagined JFK’s great address with the substitution of the word “mind” or “consciousness” in his speech each time that he mentions “space” or the “moon”.  With this new wording,  I have recreated a proposal for another fantastic voyage, a journey to the center of our “inner space”.  Never forget the old aphorism:

“as within, so without”

because the trips that we take into both the outer and inner spaces are forever to be intimate traveling companions on the same unpredictable journey through life, being two sides of the same divine coin. 

One of the greatest inspirations to the human imagination is the contemplation of and the preparation for the launch of a new mission into the mysterious and the unknown. Can there be a more exalted life affirming and sustaining truth “hidden” in the Unknown than we are now experiencing in all of our “knowns”?  Can we become curious, and then obsessive, about the higher potential for our lives than we might be currently experiencing and expressing? Does the thought of newer, more diverse and healthier possibilities for life stir enough deep desire for change for all of us who continue to suffer and struggle?   Do we dare to “shoot for the moon”, or should we just accept a grounded life for all of our Earth time?

For the awakening ones, our launch day is here and now.  Today we can become spiritual astronauts and be launched into higher energy orbits by our own healing, insight, and awareness.  It remains up to us as individuals to start our own unique “launch sequence” into the exalted spiritual orbits, and this has always been true, regardless of the status of our national leadership. Many individuals and small groups of people have been embracing healing changes and spiritual awakening since time immemorial, though, collectively, our country currently appears to be resistant to initiating its launch sequence towards healing on international and national levels

The resistance to healing has resulted in an epidemic of white middle-aged American men dying at earlier ages than would be statistically forecast, for at least the past 25 years. There has also been a marked increase in anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and mental illness in our general population, for both men and women. The two years following the US Presidential election has revealed the appearance of a burgeoning divide between major elements within the population, and the behavior of the new President has certainly added to the collective stress and worry. Trump related extreme anxiety strikes our nation, or TREASON for short, and this phenomenon has made its mark on the national soul, though his “base” continues to delight in the ‘in your face” hostility and dysfunction that has been the POTUS’s style.. 

Mr. Trump is not the cause of the national crisis.  Our president is only a manifestation or symptom of a national disease for the major blocks of people who feel that they have been neglected, ignored, or persecuted.  Far too many people on either side of the divide have felt that way most of their lives, and continue to diagnose and treat themselves for their own stress, loneliness, and anxiety.   It is dangerous behavior to self-medicate, and much too easy to choose the immediately available remedies of drugs, alcohol, and/or awkward political and religious ideologies to treat symptoms of our national disease.  I have personally witnessed both mental illness, religious fanaticism and rigid fundamentalism, drug addiction, and the early death syndrome of the white American male through many of my co-workers, friends, family members, and acquaintances, and, even through myself.  I have developed a few insights and observations into the whole phenomenon over the course of my life, and I present them in my effort to bring healing to personal and national wounds.

In this book I address our personal and collective consciousness, the potential for both dysfunction and recovery, as well as our attempts at connection with humanity’s highest potential. I point out the darkened movements of human energy that become the underlying foundation for “toxic masculinity”, a name coined to encompass all that is detrimental to the male version of the human spirit. I discuss at length the Common Knowledge Game, which refers to the process by which we all become imprisoned by the way that we form words, ideas, and judgements against self and other, while attempting to maintain society’s often times twisted notions of what normal social connections should look like. I attempt to address difficult human emotions, and problems with expressing them skillfully. I make a commentary on my rocky relationship with American Christianity, and why I am no longer directly associated with that philosophy,  These life lessons were not gained in a classroom, or sitting at the feet of an Indian guru, as my experience, and resulting wisdom, is directly derived from my immersion into real life, through work, love relationships, friends, and family.

During the course of my work career, I was a mail clerk, maintenance mechanic, electrician, computer engineer, and instrument and electronic technician. I assisted in the building and subsequent technical support of the operation of multi-billion dollar chip fabrication plants in Oregon, and maintaining the pumping and delivery systems of the entire fresh water supply to the City of Portland, among many other less economically significant endeavors. I learned not only how to put people and material together to get a desired result, but also how to troubleshoot and repair systems that have become defective due to wear or poor initial engineering. I worked in a male dominated industry, and I had the privilege of working with many top notch men over the course of my career. The best managers balanced the need for productivity with the needs of the people performing the work, and I walked that balance beam as best I could when necessary.

As both a manager and a worker in the field, I dealt with cooperative and productive workers, but I also was to encounter innumerable damaged, broken, and even dangerous men, and I sometimes struggled with engaging with them directly, and meeting their needs. With the vast personality differences distributed throughout our industry, employment could be both extremely challenging and fulfilling as we all attempted to navigate the often times turbulent waters of male dominated work experience.. I would frequently wonder how any work gets successfully accomplished, especially with the diversity of interests and conflicts in philosophies and mutual negative personality assessments that characterized the crews that worked with each other. The desire to continue to eat and to prevent one’s homelessness through retaining one’s employment motivates most socially distressed and diseased people to avoid physical violence with others. Fortunately for the peaceful and the non-violent employees, the need to eat exceeds the need to beat, most days.  Many of these intellectually and emotionally challenged workers continue to resonate with Donald Trump’s personality defects and spiritual poverty, and celebrate it as if it were their own. The unconscious men tended to be minimally cooperative, overly competitive, antagonistic and verbally violent, misogynistic, judgmental, hateful, superstitious, jealous, racist, misanthropic, and abusive, both within the workplace and at their homes,  Several of these victims of their own unconsciousness were to become murderers, sexual perverts, child abusers, wife beaters, thieves, liars, cheaters, saboteurs, suicide victims, heroin addicts, alcoholics, and, generally,  the six-o’clock news worthy characters.  These are the men that may appear to be permanently “grounded” in a dangerous, collective unreality of fear and mutual distrust.

As a result, I did not leave employment and enter retirement with a balanced, healthy attitude towards much of the male population, so I began to troubleshoot and repair my own life system.  Why was I not able to soar to great spiritual heights with many of my male compatriots while employed?   What might have been my role in the proliferation of disease and enmity within the work environment?  Can I successfully search for higher degrees of understanding of myself and all of our fellow males, our beloved females, and the healing potential for all of us, including the planet Earth?  Why were so many of my male friends and acquaintances dying so young?  All of these questions, plus many more, contributed to the desire to write this book. My hope is that by the reading of this book the reader will be able to see everything just a little bit differently than they did before.  I use the Apollo 11 American experience of a moon landing as a metaphor for what we all might accomplish, should we each strive to place spiritual integrity, wholeness, love, and truth into our own spiritual rocket engines as fuel

The lunar orbiter/landing craft utilized a three stage rocket booster to get it into space.  Coincidentally, it has been proposed by others that the human being has three potential stages of consciousness, the unconscious stage, the aware stage, and the self-aware stage,  I utilize this three-stage model to represent the potential for growth and evolution of human consciousness, though there are other accepted models of more complex natures available for understanding.  Without all of these stages of the rocket booster, or of our collective and individual spiritual evolution and unfoldment, we have no hope of reaching the promising new frontiers.

In the first stage of our unfoldment as human beings, we spend most of our time in the unconscious state, and we are chained to life’s launching pad.  We are basically living life through our habits of thought, without a second thought about our thoughts and their ultimate source, or our subsequent behavior inspired by those inchoate impressions.  Relationships are more defined by power and control issues, and passive/aggressive styles of interaction predominate.  Fear, isolation or tribalism, superstitious reasoning around hope and faith, social insecurity, chronic emotional illness and scarcity consciousness, and a disconnect with nature with the resultant lack of connection with Earth and nature are the dark results.  Thus, there is little sense of curiosity, awe, mystery, and wonder while chained to this state of being.  Suffering is our present and future experience.  We may even attempt to destroy our lives and/or the lives of others through actions motivated by chronic despair,  We are consumed by our personal sense of self, and falteringly attempt to preserve and protect it, most times at the exclusion of all others unlike ourselves. In this first stage of our unfoldment, humanity forever exists on the launching pad of life, while never fully engaging the launch sequence for the truth of existence, with its spiritually empowered expression. 

While in the aware state, which is the second stage of our  unfoldment, we may begin the “launch sequence” for our rocket ship of life, and engage in more conscious behavior such as self improvement and personal goal setting and achieving. This second state of human evolution does not supply all of the conditions for transcending the self and its limitations, though it gives enough insight to indicate that a change of heart can be a desirable outcome.  Hope and faith take on a different meaning for those in the second stage from those still stuck in the first stage, because now hope and faith become expressions of a more conscious personal intention.  We now believe in the possibility that we can actually transcend ourselves and our problems, and we start drawing our resources together in anticipation of the beginning of the greatest adventure that life can offer.  We start to become sincere in our desire to improve ourselves, and to  reach out, however falteringly, to others who may be less fortunate.  Our “higher power”  gives us hints that we have access to much greater wisdom and power, but we continue to believe that we are not worthy, or we may still be a little overweight with hubris, either of which limits our full time access to our highest nature, and this delays our “launch date”, until the weather conditions improve.  We are finally beginning to see that the boundary between self and other is a lot vaguer than we ever thought possible.  There is now a lot of activity around the launching pad, and in the second stage of our unfoldment, we become willing to leave the safe confines of our lives and set our intention for exploring the unknown.  We might wonder what our next step in life is at this stage, which starts catalyzing that spiritual rocket fuel in our souls. 

The third stage of our  unfoldment is the self-aware state, which is achieved once one has not only left the launching pad, but has also transcended the boundaries of the historical self.  We can now soar into the new, unexplored mysteries of human spiritual potential and love for all being, human, animal, and the whole of the planet Earth.  We see that, in our true essence, we are a hologram of the whole, and our intentions now carry the need to protect, honor, and enhance the health and well-being of the totality of life, and not just that of our family, friends, neighborhood, country of origin, or species.. We become consumed by our impacts upon the world, and upon each other.  A driving question of existence becomes how we can be of greater service to the ignorant and/or less fortunate among us, including the animal world.  We are no longer consumed by our personal sense of self and what others might think or expect of us.  Personal suffering is transmuted to compassion and empathy, and we have the experience of transcendence and mysticism.  Our “higher power” is no longer a theory, but a living, breathing reality residing in our hearts.  We are now rocketing into a new dimension of being.  From this exalted position, all that we see, and ever will see, unto eternity, is ourselves, and our primary action in this world is to bring more love to our Self.

Why would anybody ever want to become more consciously aware as a human being? Why would anybody ever want to explore the unknown and unknowable within one’s self, and leave the safety and security of all of one’s accumulated life experience? Why would anybody ever want to begin to question, and, potentially, then abandon, all of one’s personal knowledge, especially the memories that lead to one’s suffering? Why would anybody ever want to commit several thousand hours of their valuable time in reading about religion and spirituality, enhancing introspection, developing intuition and insight, making amends to ALL people and institutions that we have harmed through our ignorance, improving the mysterious practices of both meditation and prayer, and exploring new meetings and workshops with strangers?

Why would anybody ever want to develop the intention of transforming one’s life so as to be happier, healthier, and better connected with the greater meaning and purpose available? Why would anybody ever want to undertake the epic journey of transforming oneself, and being reborn into a new reality where the will to live and prosper is an innate part of being? Why would anybody want to take up the spiritual mantle of all consciously realized human beings who have ever lived, and attempt to carry that energy forward into a new, unique life experience, while blessing other people’s lives, as well as one’s own?  Why would anyone ever want to rocket themselves into another, infinitely more expansive vision and dimension of existence?

In 1995, my grandmother, Beatrice Henry, was hospitalized after becoming extremely ill. She was diagnosed with terminal lymphoma, and given a prognosis indicating a short period of time left for her to live. The oncologist had suggested to the family that she would respond positively to one round of chemotherapy, to “reduce pain and suffering”. The toxins released by that therapy overpowered her kidneys, and sent her into a form of systemic toxicity, causing temporary loss of consciousness, and accelerating her physical deterioration. My wife Sharon and I asked to have my grandmother stay with us during her dying times, as there was no way that I wanted my grandmother to die in a hospital or care facility.

One day, shortly after she arrived at our home, while still barely conscious, one of her three granddaughters, Carla, brought her newborn son, Kodiak, over for grandma to see. He was the typical boy baby, healthy and happy, and full of potential. Yet my grandmother, still bedridden and semi-conscious at the time, in a most uncharacteristic manner, proclaimed:

“My, Carla, what a homely baby that you have!”

Carla, Sharon and I were all stunned, and surprised. My grandmother always loved babies, and always treasured each and every one, yet this response came from a place within her that we did not know or recognize. Over the course of the next two weeks, her kidneys started functioning again, she gradually regained her consciousness and awareness, and eventually she was able to walk short distances again. .She was to see Kodiak again during her period of minor recovery, and this time stated:

“My, what a handsome baby boy Kodiak is. Carla, you must be a very proud mother!”

Women, especially those who have carried the life of “another” in their wombs, know at their deepest level the experience of biological creation, the bringing forth real life into our shared world. It is not just the fertilization of the egg that brings life, it is also the carrying and internal nurturing of the developing fetus for almost nine months, then delivering the viable, complete life form to the world. Healthy, aware women know, at the deepest level, that their babies have ultimate value, and they will see beyond any apparent lack of physical beauty. All babies are beautiful, and there is little question about it. My grandmother was dying, yet she was able to once again see the beauty of human potential, and acknowledge it at the deepest level.

I have had a target on my back for much of my life, and I never understood why until later in adulthood.  Like most everyone else on this planet, I have been subjected to the family and cultural forces of oppression and repression and crazy making communication and behavior.  I have found that most people do NOT appreciate feedback about their errant behavior, and if I wanted to make more ‘friends” and be accepted by groups of damaged people I certainly would not offer to the world this book.  I would probably have written a vacuous book about four minute meditations for success, or a three step enlightenment techniques for transcendence.  But that is NOT me.  This book is NOT for people who want to stay grounded in their own unconsciousness, but instead for those who want to understand why they are not soaring upward into new dimensions of being and doing, for in the complete seeing, is the new being revealed.

This book, which is my only creative baby, may be greeted by readers with this same initial negative response as my grandmother had for Kodiak. The “launching pad” of the life that I was chained to was not a pretty place, and it was not populated by the happy, healthy, wise human beings that one would prefer to be associated with.  The beauty and infinite possibilities for my own “rocket ship” will not be immediately recognizable by most people.  My story is quite HOMELY, and it will repel all but the most curious, courageous and loving of readers. But, like my cousin Kodiak, this story is full of potential, and points to a healthy and happy state of being, once the “homeliness” is presented and acknowledged. 

My search for Truth, with the subsequent delivery of my spiritual “baby” is nothing like anything that the reader has ever seen before. It will be difficult to assess its value and relevance, until it has “an opportunity to grow on the reader”, and whatever toxicity that the story stirs up is filtered out. The story will not have universal appeal, yet, to me, it is my only child, and as such it remains a “handsome baby boy”, full of life, love, and the potential for healing. And, this “handsome baby boy” is the story of my exploratory trips into my own “inner space”, where my mission to support personal and collective evolution continues to this day.  Not only did humanity make it to the moon (why do moon landing deniers even exist?), each of us also has the potential to reach God, Truth, Love, Compassion, Healing, and Light, after we leave the launchpads of our own lives.

My goal in life was certainly not to become a diseased human being, attempt recovery from that disease, write a book about the process, and, establish myself as an authority on subject matter that makes me irrelevant to all who have no interest in healing or in my journey.  Life is more about building a better state of consciousness, with enhancing the life-affirming qualities, and the cultivation of greater insight, than the books that get written, and the foes that get smitten..Literally, the words of my story are the vapor trails of my journey through the space and time, and no one should set out as a goal to just chase my trails, or anyone else’s, for that matter.  We are all capable of making our own unique vapor trails on our journey to the higher dimensions of our life experience and its supporting consciousness, and we can develop the willingness to share those inspired words with others…

Through our resonance with the “wise ones” of our age, and of all ages, we may yet drum up sufficient support for a healing change in collective and individual consciousness, before our planet fails, and our civilization collapses upon itself..

Why choose this goal?

“. . . But why, some say, the Moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask, why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?. . . “

Just like the journey into outer space that America undertook to reach the moon, America can also succeed in the journey to the center of our minds, where all of our opportunities, and perils, reside.

“. . . not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win,. . . “

This book is comprised of many words. It has been written by a man who never had anything to say, or a desire to say it, until nearly dying thirty-one years ago. It only took another thirty-one years to finally put life experiences to words, after more brushes with DEATH.. Death is the final and greatest frontier, and motivator for the procrastinator.. Early death threatens everybody, including our planet Earth.  It will be noted that on several occasions in this book, I will be speaking up for Mother Earth, as her voice has been drowned out by the American Capitalist concerns of this age..

This life of mine has become a “Miracle Experiment”, in which I attempt to penetrate our cultural conspiracy of silence, the conspiracy that keeps mankind imbalanced and diseased, and prevents humanity from achieving its collective potential. Note that the title indicates that I am penetrating the “conspiracy of silence” rather than dispelling it, as the power of the collective experience still dominates human consciousness. My life was not lived in vain, however, for I am a part of a massive movement to heal the American soul. I will continue to write, and to speak out, until I am no more. The story that follows is my attempt to document the process, and present it to the world

“. . . we help decide whether this new ocean will be a sea of peace or a new terrifying theater of war. I do not say that we should or will go unprotected against the hostile misuse of space any more than we go unprotected against the hostile use of land or sea, but I do say that space can be explored and mastered without feeding the fires of war, without repeating the mistakes that man has made in extending his writ around this globe of ours. . . . “

 We have been called to be the “truth tellers” of the world, which releases us from the bondage to the past and the unhealthy conditioning that keeps unaware people eternally chained to the launching pad of life.  The following book is the story of my own preparation of my launching pad for spirit, and may it bless each of us in a way that benefits the most of us.  And, even if our own life appears to be the only life to be positively impacted by our hero’s journey, that is MORE THAN ENOUGH.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
– Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)

Please, save yourself.

To Find Our Voice

Powerlessness and silence go together. We … should use our privileged positions not as a shelter from the world’s reality, but as a platform from which to speak. A voice is a gift. It should be cherished and used.

—- Margaret Atwood

What is the relationship between the conspiracy of silence that permeates our culture and world civilization, and the incidence of degraded health outcomes through reduced opportunities for healing, growth and evolution? Why do we continue to support potentially soul damaging techniques for engagement, dialogue and communication, when other more effective and loving means are available? Why do we clamor for peace and healing, and simultaneously make preparations for confrontation and war? When we look deep within ourselves, do we even perceive that we have choices as to how to frame our view of reality, or is our life like witnessing a marionette speaking somebody else’s words? Are we able to locate all of the cultural and familial controls whose spell we are now under, and consciously examine each one, eschewing those which are impediments to our health and well-being? Finally, are we able to find our own truth, and then, find the courage to speak from it to those who might have need to hear it?

Our culture is only starting to come to an understanding about the epidemic of white middle-aged American men dying at earlier ages than would be statistically forecast, for the past 25 years. There has also been a marked increase in anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and mental illness in our general population, for both men and women. One of several causes around both lifespan decline and increased mental illness revolves around chronic abusive drinking of alcohol, and this has been reflected in our bodies by higher incidences of liver and esophageal cancer, especially in people under fifty years of age. There has also been the recent news reports with many references to the Opioid Epidemic, painkiller addiction, and the progression to heroin addiction by those participants. Drug overdoses killed 72,000 Americans last year alone.  Since 1999, more than 700,000 Americans have died from drug related causes.  America is losing the war on drugs, that is for sure. 

Alcohol and drug misuse are only symptoms of our cultural disease, and the abuse of intoxicants may be the way America medicates itself to avoid feeling the distress of feeling victimized by the forces of oppression within our society, failure to find one’s true voice and mission in life, and the repression of our inner natures. Other symptoms include our culture’s increasing problems with obesity, poor physical fitness, or environmental, water and food supply toxicity. These are important issues, and their proliferation is directly dependent upon our often times toxic Capitalist economic principles and culture, so healing and enhanced awareness in this arena will lead to more effective solutions in our future.

Those who continue to suffer while eschewing the path of recovery live and operate in the background of our culture, and have a message that may not be spoken and/or cannot be heard or acknowledged because of the power of the collective Conspiracy of Silence. Our culture is broken, which leads to broken people and broken families. Yet, collectively, America has created a culture of denial, where we don’t look at our fundamental problems together, and confront them directly. To the extent that the broken individual might indicate a brokenness within our culture, is the extent that the broken individual is marginalized and minimized by the entrenched power brokers of our civilization and their sycophants. There are many economic, religious, and political leaders who have derived the greatest personal and economic benefits through the exploitation of those who have no voice, and it is perceived as an existential threat for them to examine, acknowledge their own faults, and make changes to the damaged structure that gave rise to their own predominance in the first place. There must be a national discussion about our shared disease, its treatment, and the healing and changing of our culture to reduce the alarming probabilities of its recurrence.

The race is on between those who are spiritually supporting personal and collective Armageddon, and those who are promoting a more holistic, healing approach to living together in lasting harmony, peace and health upon our sacred planet. Those who can become receptive to their own spiritual awakening will become part of a world-wide healing movement, through co-creating the roots of the Tree of Life that supports a new world order of Love, Compassion, and the preservation of our home planet Earth and all of its sacred inhabitants. Those who choose to stay asleep will continue to contribute to the suffering, and the destruction of life in all of its diverse forms, and unconsciously contribute to the ravages that toxic masculinity brings to our shared world. As a result of the division, it has been quite the mosh pit dance of conflict between the colliding forces of the need for revolutionary change, and the need for clinging to the status quo.

I have been asked why I perseverate on the damaged American male psyche, and why I don’t instead focus on more pleasant, loving thoughts and activities. The question itself reveals the flaws inherent in living an unexamined life, and the fragmentation already present in our collective understanding of how to bring healing to our self, and to our world. Does anybody think that the suicide victim, lone wolf arsonist, abusive alcoholic, mentally ill man shot by a policeman, drug overdose victim, morbidly obese person, rapist, child abuser, corrupted national politician and/or reality TV star, or mass murderer, is a unique being, with no relationship to the rest of the very humanity that spawned him? Just because we are not now consciously aware and viscerally experiencing the damaging effects of the unhealed American male psyche, does not mean that we remain unaffected by its self-destructive, and other-destructive, energies. Ignorance never leads to bliss, but instead to more suffering by self and others.

It is extremely difficult in finding a way to reach those who have unconditionally accepted a diseased culture and/or one’s own unique fragmented individual life, while they remain in rigorous denial of those facts. Those who have made a decision to slowly and painfully commit suicide, individually and collectively through their addictive and self-destructive cycles of behavior are becoming part of the new normal in American life. Each mentally ill human being, including all alcoholics and drug addicts must find their own unique “bottom”, where the pain of the disease causes a change, or turning point, in their lives. Insanity, poor physical health, loss of job, loss of family, jail, DUI, threat of death, or near death experiences, and deaths of close friends or family members also suffering from cultural disease and addiction have been known to bring the desire for healing. Personally, it took all the previously mentioned negative addictive cycle outcomes to convince me to change my self-image, self-esteem, attitudes and behavior.

Before we can proceed into a new world order of better health, increased happiness, peace, and preservation of our sacred planet and our relationships with the totality of life upon it, we must first completely see where we came from, or our self-destructive history will repeat itself. No human being remains unaffected by our damaged common core of consciousness, whether we personally express it, are impacted directly by it from others, or only read about it in the newspapers or on Facebook. For the truth is, our core of collective consciousness gets transmitted from our individual minds to the rest of the conscious universe, and we receive back from collective consciousness, as if it were an eternally uttered prayer shared by all of humanity.

In your own experience, if you have never dealt directly with a mentally ill family member, drug addict or alcoholic, or had a desire to search for a new understanding and/or direction for your own life, this story may carry little meaning and have no value for you. When you watch the news, and witness all of the dysfunction of our world, if you are a disinterested, disconnected spectator, your emotions will not become engaged, nor will you be moved to action. The intention to heal can carry almost anyone to their own unique “promised land” of recovery, but without that intention, all hope for healing is lost. As I was finally to learn, intention is the very slingshot which launches our will into the human universe, and the universe ALWAYS returns back to us the energy that we have given, often times in the most unexpected of ways. Learning to fine tune those intentions for healthier outcomes is akin to the preparation for prayer, a process that is a rather mysterious, yet a completely natural form of energy exchange between all manifestations of life.  For humankind, it is what we give off in life force vibrations that reflects what we truly are, so the more holistic the “prayer”, the more healed becomes the person “praying”.

The light of our country, though still burning brightly for the healing and the hopeful, attracts all manners of darkness to it, as evidenced by heartless terrorists, capitalists, and politicians victimizing our most innocent of beings. While witnessing victims of persecution and oppression within our own homeland, including our immigrants, our minorities, our homeless, our mentally ill, our children, our old, our diseased, our poor, our disabled, our sacred animals, or our environment itself, it can be difficult to feel the miracle of life that is constantly with us. Yet, to not have that experience, is to live a life devoid of much of the greater meaning available to us as human beings. And, the American male, who carries most of the self-destructive, earth destructive, socially destructive, and feminine destructive energy within humanity, is paying a huge spiritual and physical price for the errors in both the presentation of our lives to the world and the experience of others’ contributions to our own lives. We, as a gender, continue to carry the historical fallout from many generations of callous indifference to the needs of others, and to our own spiritual needs for wholeness, love, healing, and compassion.

Toxic masculinity is a disease of Spirit that has targeted males since the beginning of civilization, and it continues to strike down men to this very day. Our world remains both addicted to and intoxicated by its masculine hubris, greed, indifference and insensitivity, and the resultant domination and subjugation of all life upon our planet. Callous, ignorant, hate inspired masculine energy runs rampant in our world, victimizing and destroying sacred life in all forms, while extremists of all types, including capitalists, politicians, and other opportunists profit from our own destruction. I have seen how men run in tribes or packs defined by their acts of self-destruction, the destruction of others, and the destruction of our planet. And I have seen, and I believe at the deepest level of my own being, that disease in the mind of mankind is directly related to the predisposition towards disease within the body of mankind.

One only needs to look around, and view the effects of toxic masculinity, and several of its ugly spawn, toxic religion, toxic politics, and toxic capitalism, to see that repression of our collective emotional/feeling natures, including the feminine and the Divine, is built right into the very fabric of our cultural existence. Our POTU$ is the perfect representation for all of the ills of our culture, and to the extent that the men within our culture practice his unholy principles of engagement with the world, and with its women, and men, they also share in his disease of mind, body, and spirit. What happens to a man defeated by the dark energy of unhealed masculinity? We don’t need to look too far to see the insanity around us, the monetization of humanity and the world, mass murders, early deaths, suicides, drug addiction, alcoholism, abuse of woman, and children, extinction of species, destruction of our ecology, and see the relationships that now continue to a very bleak future, unless the men in this world awaken, and rebel against the prevailing dark attitudes of our dying culture.

I have watched an endless parade of friends, family members, co-workers, and acquaintances suffer from mental illness, alcoholism and addiction, and/or meet an early death, and I nearly died prematurely, as well. Most of my grade school and high school friends have already suffered, and have either become disabled or have had early deaths. Both of my best friends from earlier in my life died young from alcoholism and poor health choices My nephew has a bipolar condition along with alcoholism, and has alienated himself from important parts of his family I have a cousin who in February of 2018 was comatose and near death from the DT’s in the ICU, and who continues to drink. He is presently suicidal, and has expressed interest in bringing suffering to the rest of the family. We buried another drug addicted cousin in August of 2017, who, through her own self-directed treatment of pain coupled with the ignorance of her doctors, missed pancreatic cancer, and she died a miserable death within a week of a correct diagnosis. I have also witnessed two close family members who are practicing alcoholics continuing to ply their self-destructive trades, while ostracizing my wife and I, as well as one of our own grandsons has been addicted to pot and other substances since he was 11 years old, and he just has not been able to put a productive life together. I just can’t ignore this disease of the Spirit which has taken over my family, and our country.

In many cases, those early deaths or disabilities from mental illness and/or alcoholism were, literally, a divorce from their lives, as their lives were so unfulfilled and unhappy, and they had lost all hope for any positive change. In many of the cases that I am familiar with, they were not happy at the end, and their death appeared to be a welcome release for them. Some had lost their careers, and could not recover from that. Some had no meaning in their lives, and could not recover from that. Some were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, and could not recover from that. Some were addicted to the idea that their only function was to provide for their wives or family, and, having achieved success or failure, they could not recover from that. Some were just waiting for a better day, and when it never appeared, they could not recover from that. Some were lonely and depressed, and they could not recover from that. Some had profound physical health issues, and they could not recover from that. Some had profound mental illness, and they could not recover from that.

The dead cannot cry out for justice. It is a duty of the living to do so for them.

– Lois McMaster Bujold

What is the hidden story, the real back story to all diseased men and their lives that may not have been told to their families, to their religions, to their culture, to their employer and co-workers, and to their Gods? Were any of our male victims of society able to listen to themselves, and identify their own unique pain and suffering, and bring it to the light of Love and Reason, to search for, and eventually find a newer path to healing and meaning? Or, did they blindly follow down the well-worn path of premature deterioration and death that unconscious humanity, through engaging in our collective common knowledge game, the road defined by “sin”, suffering, and dying, is doomed to trudge upon?

A recent book club meeting that was held at our house in November of 2016 exposed me to the Emmy award-winning journalist and author Sheila Hamilton. She visited our home, and shared with our book club insights into her life, and her marriage with David Krol, her deceased husband who had committed suicide. While reading Ms. Hamilton’s book “All the Things We Never Knew”, I was struck by how Sheila had to piece together what David’s inner experience must have been like, as David did not communicate to others his inner turmoil and chaos effectively. When Sheila told the group that David’s parents had wrapped him up in a blanket as a baby and left him in the garage at night because of his excessive crying, I had an AHA moment, because that is exactly what had happened to me, as well. I felt a need to give another voice for our shared disease, as I am a person who had also walked through the gates of hell itself. Somebody has to speak up for David, and for the people who suffered like David, and myself, and that person is me.

I am a product of our civilization, and of our shared humanity. Thus, I am also a broken container for our Spirit, like everybody else, who is not in denial of their own human nature. The act of writing this book was a difficult proposition, as I had to overcome a lifetime of internalized oppression, poor self-esteem, and repression of major aspects of my spirit. The messages that I received from my world, or collective consciousness, as both a child and as an adult are that I had nothing to say, or what I had to say had little or no value. Even in recovery from those difficult conditions of spirit, I also had to overcome some well-meaning, but inaccurate spiritual teachings and aphorisms that distort reality, and do not point to the truth that I was finally hearing within myself.

The reason you have a hard time trusting your intuition is because you are still convinced that some outside authority knows better than you.

— Maryam Hasnaa

There have been other messages occasionally bubbling up within my consciousness that have hinted at the collective errors in human reasoning, and this work is the culmination of my attempt to honor all of those “whispers of the Spirit”. My personal truth demands of me that I deliver these words, regardless of what others might think, or how resistant I might be in sharing them. In the face of the evil and ignorance that predominates our world mind, those who have the sensitivity of the artist, the skill of the musician, the Message from a miraculous healing, or even the voice of the marginalized prophet, must continue their best efforts to bring forth the Word, even while our civilization continues its seeming inexorable slide into chaos, hatred, and planetary destruction. This work is the culmination of my own efforts in that direction.

I am a three-time diagnosed depressed individual, as well as a recovering addict/alcoholic. I have the label and experience of a dual-diagnosis human being. Dual diagnosis is the term used when a person has a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) and a problem with alcohol or drugs. We are one of the dark castes of our society, and, collectively, our spirits are stymied, and our voices have been quieted. When we don’t have a voice, the most we can hope for is to be a silent witness to life, rather than a robustly interactive participant with life, with little hope for ever being seen for who we really are. I recount my own drama and internal struggles, with the hope that I can bring to verbal light some of the inner workings of my own mind and life as it existed when I was an addict/alcoholic and mentally ill person, as well as while I was upon the journey back to wholeness.

The following story indicates my path towards wholeness and spiritual integrity, while moving away from both my own personal insanity and our culture’s schizophrenia. I document many hard-earned insights that I have been given into the life that we all share. This is a presentation of my own unique perspective, and it will not conform to other”s expectations of what the “Truth” should look like. Please forgive me in advance if my insights and realizations appear obvious and simple, or challenge basic sensibilities. Though it is not my intention to be offensive and argumentative, I hope that some new energy is stirred within the reader. It is not my intention to create more “spiritual froth” with trite all-encompassing statements like “love heals all wounds”, or “love is the only power”. Love of this type and nature can be a most elusive spiritual resource, and is not what the vast majority of the human race initially seeks or believes it to be. The following work is the documentation of my own “hero’s journey” towards all such noble human values.

This book is a mantle woven together by the words and stories that I have chosen to represent the whole of my life experience. I wear this garment in honor of all those who have preceded me, and for those who still walk beside me in spirit, in love, and in healing. I honor my deceased parents and grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and the countless generations past. I honor those who have sacrificed their lives to diseases of the body, and of the Spirit, be they the addict, alcoholic, mentally ill, victim of violence, or the so-called normal person who struggled with comprehending the insanity in their own life, and of their civilization, and died before finding healing. I honor those who are still alive, and suffering under the forces of oppression and repression that characterize much of life lived under our present economic, religious, and political systems. I honor those who will take the time to consider this work, and I also honor those who will never find the opportunity or the willingness to do so. Finally, I honor my wife Sharon White, who suffered with me through some tough times during a relapse in 2007, caring for my dying father the last several years up to 2017, and for the actual writing of this book.

My life certainly has not been newsworthy or extraordinary in any obvious ways. In my youth, I was the person who was best described as one who was on the “outside looking in” on life, versus the one who was on the “inside looking everywhere”. I never really quite fit in, when it came to living life. But, the best part of my story lies in the lessons learned from a life experienced from both perspectives, with much of my personal truth having been derived from the movement through my family and its history, as well as through the bigger picture painted through my movement through our culture and civilization. There is a direct connection between what unfolded in my life while being a masculine energy dominated addict, alcoholic, and isolated, mentally ill human being, and the dysfunctional patriarchy that continues to unfold in our world today.

My personal story will be told after I discuss the collective influences of consciousness on the individual. In my personal story I use more than one linear time line, with some overlap between the stories. There will be no lurid tales of debauchery (well, maybe a reference or two), nor overt acts of aggression or crimes against my fellow-man, though I certainly carried the capacity for all manners of the evil inherent in the human mind. In my journey through Portland’s underworld community, I associated with people who had acted on all manners of ignorance, evil, and darkness, and many lives had been destroyed or damaged as a result of their behaviors. While a practicing addict/alcoholic, I had the potential to damage or destroy many lives, especially through driving. I was pulled over seven times for drunken or reckless driving, though I never got a DUI because of my capacity to appear sober, no matter how intoxicated that I was. I drove intoxicated over two thousand times, and though I never hurt or killed anyone, there were a few wrecks, and many near misses. In alcoholic blackouts, I accessed incorrigible attitudes and contemplated egregious acts, but good fortune saved the day for me, and for the world.

Conceptually, this book can be seen as consisting of two parts. There is my personal history, with some references back to our shared reality, or collective consciousness. There are my lessons learned about collective consciousness, with a lot of references back to my personal experiences. The two parts are inextricably intertwined, and the separation will be seen to be mainly for clarification purposes. My life since my birth in 1955 is the obvious link between the two creative aspects. There are the individual, cultural, and divine vibrations which constitute the rainbow of my being, and the colors of my rainbow stretch throughout all phases of this work.

I give a thumbnail sketch of my mother’s, father’s and grandparent:s lives to provide a rudimentary foundation for my story. My personal history is extensively developed, including my childhood, my first love, where I address issues around my first wife and her mental illness , my fall into addiction, suicidal ideation, and, ultimately, my immersion into an underworld experience, and the remarkable awakening that occurred after my exit from that world. My history is presented like a winding, dotted line path, a path with many intersections with itself as it jockeys between the past and present. I defy the analytical mind’s need for the linearization of time and reality, and the offending elements of the story will be confusing to some, and irritating to others. My real life was not lived in a straight line path, nor will my story be presented that way, either.

I discuss prayer, and several spiritual and cosmic consciousness oriented events. I eventually bring my life experience up to the present moment, after documenting a relapse which occurred two years prior to my mother’s death. I refer to a life-altering friendship with a long-term friend who died in 2017. I finish my life’s story with some of the greatest teachings that life has revealed to me. This project has taken on epic proportions for me, and it appears to be quite fragmented, and repetitive at times, qualities which parallel my real life experience.

I offer my apologies to any widow or family member of a diseased or deceased man who might read this story and become offended by what appears to be judgmental or incomplete representation of the facts. What I have observed is quite subjective, and the population that I have witnessed is fairly small, compared to the whole of the population that has been impacted by our cultural disease. My intention remains to provide a voice for my own process, as well as for those who cannot or will not speak out against the ills of the society and the minds that created the conditions for their own disease or early demise, be it through heart attacks, brain cancer or cancer in general, alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, murder, or “accidents”.

“Our lives begin to end, the moment that we become silent about things that matter” –

—Martin Luther King, Jr.

The conspiracy of silence is built right into the framework of our collective consciousness. Dead men tell no tales, but the nearly dead MUST continue to tell their stories, with respect for themselves and others, until our civilization finally wakes up. To not express ourselves honestly and openly results in our own early demise, Spiritually as well as physically. We each must penetrate the conspiracy of silence, and bring the light of a loving heart and healing words to the hidden darkness. My conditioned response would be to keep silent, as I have nothing of value to share with the world, and/or the world could give a shit about what I have to say anyway. Extrapolate that response to all of life, and we can perceive the isolating framework that imprisons much of the American male psyche.

“If you really, really knew me, you wouldn’t love me”

—Often heard in many recovery meetings, and one of the foundational beliefs behind our collective conspiracy of silence, which supports poor self-esteem, and distrust of others.

This is not solely a self-help or pop psychology/spirituality book. I will not be appealing to the ego, nor will I explicitly attempt to make anybody feel good about life, and their prospects for economic, social, or spiritual success. I am not seeking money, respect or adoration from the reader. I am not engaged in any people-pleasing need, or out of any passive-aggressive need to hurt the world, without letting the world know why I was angry or distressed with it in the first place. All that I ask for is the suspension of judgement for a few hours. and the treatment of this manuscript like it is a meditation on life. Those who are able to tune into this work with their heart, and attempt to listen to what has been written here, may find compassion, insight, and wisdom revealing itself, as I attempt to reveal my own life.

I am using this book to communicate, as best I can, the unfolding new reality bubbling up within my heart and soul. But, this new reality exists side by side with my typical human response to life, no matter how much I attempt to walk the path of spirituality, healing, and wholeness. The statement that the “poor will always be among us” even refers to me. The personal me, the collective me, and the divine me all walk together as one being, and now it is my day-to-day responsibility to stay in balance, and to try to bring myself back into equilibrium whenever I get disturbed.

I walked through many miles of underbrush, stickers, thorny bushes, weeds, stinging nettles, mud, and too many mine fields to count, to get to my mountain top, so be prepared for an uneven journey to the place in the book where the greatest, most far-reaching views are finally presented. Life is sometimes like the childhood game of Chutes and Ladders, so I will not be expounding solely from upon neither the spiritual mountaintops of peace and love for all beings, nor from the darkened valleys of mutual judgement and condemnation, suffering and death. What value is a story, if it is never told? What value is love, if it is never shared?Through this book, I will not be whispering my message to the world, as I have learned to turn to volume up a notch  or two, especially in areas where I need to hear myself the most.  And, just because I finally am listening to myself does not guarantee that others who are conditioned to ignore me will suddenly change behavior.  Sometimes, a bird sings in the forest, even though there are no other birds to listen to it.  The real miracle is not that others listen to us, it is that we finally are listening to ourselves.

CAN I HEAR ME NOW?!

There is a story:

Once upon a time an old woman ran through the streets shouting:

“POWER, GREED, CORRUPTION!!!
POWER, GREED, CORRUPTION!!!”

For a while, people stopped to hear, to think, and to discuss the problem. As time went by and nothing happened, they finally went back about their business. Finally, one day, a child stepped in front of the prophet to say, as she ran by,

“Old woman, no one is listening to you”
.
So, the woman stopped to say

“Oh, I know that.”

The boy was puzzled.

“Then if you know that you have failed, then why do you go on shouting?”

and the old woman answered

“Oh, child, you do not understand. I do not shout in order to change them. I shout so that they cannot change me”

Come on America, start your spiritual engines, and let us all blast off of this fucking rock that we call our unconscious life! 

Please, save yourself

The Black Box

Each and every one of us has the capacity to be an oppressor. I want to encourage each and every one of us to interrogate how we might be an oppressor and how we might be able to become liberators for ourselves and for each other.

— Laverne Cox

In science, computing, and engineering, a black box is a device, system or object which can be viewed in terms of its inputs and outputs (or transfer characteristics), without any knowledge of its internal workings. Our unexamined minds are like black boxes as described in such engineering thought experiments. It is common knowledge that humans have vast orders of unpredictability built right into their own life system “black box”. Yet, according to Cambridge Analytica, and other propaganda theorists, it only takes fifty items of data about each human being to accurately predict how they will respond to various stimulus, including which presidential candidate that they will vote for. It has become “common knowledge” among politicians, religious leaders, and corporate leaders as to how to most effectively control populations tending towards chaos and indecision by using these principles of engagement.

So, what are some of the hidden factors within the “black box” of human experience.that contribute to our response to all of the cultural stimulus within our lives? I have identified five interrelated and interdependent factors:

1). The Common Knowledge Game (CKG)

2). The Uncommon Knowledge Game (UKG)

3). The Common Unconscious Knowledge Game (CUKG)

4). The Lemming Effect

5). Patriarchy, as expressed through toxic masculinity.

The Common Knowledge Game (CKG) is a new name for a form of consensus social understanding that has been used since humans first became verbal and capable of using more than just body language to communicate with their peers. The Common Unconscious Knowledge Game (CUKG) has been with us from the beginning, as well, and points to the subconscious domains of human psychology, and is similar to Freud’s concept of the id. The CUKG points to the underlying undeveloped and/or unexplored areas within human consciousness, and the Uncommon Knowledge game has residence in the human heart and soul with its desire for universal love and transcendence.

The Lemming Effect has also been with us from the beginning, and its most powerful energy takes the form of peer pressure. The present toxic state of mankind has been created by the effects of the weeds of toxic masculinity growing indiscriminately through the CKG, the CUKG, and is often expressed through the Lemming Effect. Toxic masculinity is a variation on patriarchy, and has no relationship with the UKG, as one exists at the exclusion of the other. Toxic masculinity is not a force for ultimate good, and is a defining boundary condition for the resistance against living a healthy, whole, balanced, sane, woman and Earth friendly life experience

The common knowledge game is a phenomena well-studied in the last generation by Nobel Prize winners, mathematicians, and New York Times best-selling authors and philosophers. What has not been adequately developed is its unconscious component, which is the Common Unconscious Knowledge Game, an area where hidden pain and suffering, instincts, intuitions, and archetypes rule, and which also informs and drives all unenlightened human thought and behavior, in co-creation with the CKG. The combination of patriarchy, the CKG the CUKG, and the related Lemming Effect, has been called many other names by seers and seekers over the millennia. The word “Maya” has been given as the name from Hinduism and Buddhism for the tendency to both individually and collectively create a fragmented perceptual universe, where in truth there is only the unity of the Universe. Unity, or spiritual oneness, is another subject, being the most important aspect of the Uncommon Knowledge (UKG) Game, which points to our spiritual evolution and all relevant teachings associated with our transcendence.

In the Uncommon Knowledge Game teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, he mentions that

“My father’s house/mansion has many rooms“

“My kingdom is not of this world”, and

“be in the world, don’t be of the world”

which are pointers to the fact that there are two possibilities for living, in CKG and CUKG experiences as a sleeping being in a dark, disfigured world, or as an awakening being in a multi-dimensional human relationship with infinity, as experience through our Uncommon Knowledge Game. The sleeping beings are those who live in the world of Maya without being aware of the illusions of thought that dominate their minds and lives. The awakening ones no longer are subservient to values of patriarchy and toxic masculinity, which are primary support pillars for the CKG and the CUKG.

This adaptation and acculturation processes of the CKG, CUKG, and the Lemming Effect has become so ingrained in consciousness, so accepted, so standardized, so normalized that the individual who even casually practices their dark side continues to contribute to the collective imprisonment of all of mankind through this process.  The principles of toxic masculinity dominates the CKG, the CUKG, and the Lemming Effect, which will help the reader understand at a deeper level why our society has become so corrupted by our wayward masculine energy.

The CKG, the CUKG, and the Lemming Effect informs our understanding of our own lives, how we see others, and how to use it’s often times twisted knowledge of poor self-esteem and negative judgments of others to help inform our decisions about actions we can take in our own lives.  The CKG and the CUKG can provide to us both a blessing, and a curse, depending on the messages that we mine and successfully apply to our lives from conformance to its social principles.  But, regardless of the messages that we mine, we are still directly influenced by ALL messages, no matter how much in conflict that they may be with each other, until we have had enough insight into this process to heal ourselves of unconscious adherence to its often times confusing, conflicting principles.  We each have an internal pendulum which swings gently, or erratically, between all of the poles, and our shared consciousness reflects those sometimes divisive inner rhythms.

Effectively, there are two sides to the CKG.  What sets up the darker side of the CKG in our minds and hearts is continuous internal access to our negative assessments, or judgements of others, and of our self, both of our physical form and our spiritual essence.  These negative assessments also include our perceptions of what we believe others think negatively about us, as well, which is another self-defeating component of the CKG.  This becomes one of the pillars, albeit a dark one,  for the CKG, and the reason for the spiritual imprisonment for all of us. What might set up a liberating side of the CKG is the potential energy of a shared belief that we are all good people at heart, and/or that we are all practicing the spiritual understanding that the word “namaste” represents..  These internalized collective beliefs are social processes of consciousness that may become culturally inculcated into our awareness, and thus we all might share  in the benefits, and the detriments, of collective consciousness as well as collective unconsciousness.

An item of information is common knowledge if all of the relevant citizens of a community know it to be so (it is mutual knowledge) and all of the citizens know that all other citizens know it and all other citizens know that all other citizens know that all other citizens know it, and so on. This is much more than simply saying that something is known by all, but also implies that the fact that “what is known by me” is also known by all, etc.  Thus, common knowledge implies not only that we all know some piece of information, but can also be absolutely confident that the rest know it, and that the rest know that we know it, and so on.

I first consciously encountered the darker side of the CKG in my employment with the US Postal Service during the time period from 1975 to 1985.  There were several  boundary conditions of the Common Knowledge Game for my continuing employment with that agency.  Many of my co-workers, as well as myself, worked there because we felt that we could do no other work, and that we did not have the skills, qualification, competency, or motivation to try anything else.  Everybody knew that truth including members of the management team, not only about our selves, but also about all of our co-workers, which in turn, was what the co-workers understood about each other, as well.  It was part of shared story that we told to ourselves and joked about with each other on many occasions.

In addition to the CKG, many of us also shared a common foe, chemical dependency, which adds several critical internal self-defeating calculations to the CKG. These baseline understandings helped to define my relationship to the Post Office career, as well.  I really enjoyed my time working as a machine clerk, however, as the fast pace of the job, and the fact that it was a lifetime guaranteed job,  kept me from feeling too bad about my personal and employment decisions.  Even though I felt “trapped” by my own insecurities and dysfunctions, through the use of drugs and alcohol I found a way to sing in my cage often enough to delay the inevitable crush of despair that was to follow in earnest later on in my career after I joined the sorting machine maintenance department.

Consider the example of a sexually abused woman, say, a woman abused by a powerful man while she was in high school or college.  There are many “common knowledge parameters” to be considered here, but the following are several items to consider, from the women’s perspective:  Depending on her religious upbringing, she may believe the following about herself: 

(In the CKG understanding of reality, we should begin each one of the following statements with “Everybody knows that . .) .”.

1).  I must be subservient to the male, whatever he says, I must obey.  I dare not raise my voice against any man

2). I will bring shame to my family by being truthful, so I must keep silent about the abuse.

3). Nobody would believe my word against a powerful man, so I must keep silent

4). I should have known better than to wear that dress, or to place myself in such a defenseless position.

5). I should have known better than to be in this person’s presence, and it is my fault that I was attacked

6). If I speak out against this man, I will be crushed by him, and be considered a whore, or a person of poor morals by others.

And on and on it could go, the foundational logic embedded within the common knowledge game that would keep a woman silent in the face of sexual abuse by another.

Consider competitive work environments where there are several jealous office workers seeking to demean a common foe, be it a boss or a motivated co-worker, through practicing racism, sexism, religious persecution, etc. This can be several human beings practicing typical mutually inaccurate assessments of a party not currently in their presence, also typical of what happens in big companies, politics and Donald Trump style “tweet attacks” , high school, or in church. The participants will not attack unless they are sure that the other will attack at exactly the same time, as nobody wants to be the lone attacker, becoming vulnerable and thus expose their own intent for aggression. This is indicative of the “mob mind”, and how it acts in the real world. The first person sends out a “feeler” (verbal exchange of internalized culturally inculcated thought process) to the other parties with the message “You know, I am really unhappy with Mr. X, he is problematic.” Yes, we warm up for the attack, by gently degrading the third-party, while awaiting the others reply within the group physically or emotionally present, which, hopefully affirms our intent. Our verbal or written means of attempting to communicate with the other “attackers” may be misinterpreted, so we initially have no collective security in adopting an “attack mode”. If however, the message of attack is received simultaneously by others within the group, which it does in “common knowledge modes of thought”, then the attack is on. Note that all parties already know the message. They all knew in advance that the “other attackers” had the message as well, because it is COMMON KNOWLEDGE that others share at least some of their negative perceptions, and they will attack the other, because they always have before, and they have already prepared their internal fortifications, as well as their “verbal and social weapons” for such an experience.

This is the classic attack/defense posture or mechanism that the entirety of the human race is now participating in. Anybody who has worked in the construction trades, or in work areas dominated by men, know this process quite well. The terms repartee, badinage, bantering, persiflage, etc. are the kind names given to this culturally accepted, and sometimes revered process, whereby we “lightly and without intentional malice” impugn the dignity and reputation of others, through pokes at each other. We call this “humor”, and some may feel almost hurt when others do not engage in this behavior with us. This has been an accepted standard of behavior, though we are finally awakening to darker aspects of this by identifying hostile work environments, and instituting regulations for reducing persecution, racial discrimination, age discrimination, sexual harassment and sexual discrimination in the workplace.

In schools, the wimps, greasers, jocks, nerds, eggheads, goths, transsexuals, homosexuals, hippies, outcasts, or whatever name that defines the “out group” outside of the popular, socially accepted standards of behavior that characterize a grouping, can be quite susceptible to aggression, antagonism, and bullying.  I think that everyone who has attended school has had experience with this phenomenon.  There only needs to be one in an “in” group, in the presence of others from that group, who may want to impress their peer group, and they begin by attacking a member of the ‘out” group.  It may be only verbal, or it can be a combination of both physical and verbal, but the rules of engagement have already been worked out generations in advance of any new bullying behavior.  It follows standards paths of aggression, hostility, belittlement, and debasement, and somehow the aggressor becomes elevated in stature, at the expense of the victim.  Of course, these are the same behaviors that get translated into our adult life as racism, xenophobia, and the callous judgement against the poor, old, disabled, and the rest of the compromised members of society, that our conservative leaning politicians and wayward POTU$ continue to try to abuse and deprive of health care and welfare.

Human appearance certainly figures strongly in the CKG and CUKG, and the Lemming Effect, especially in regards to sexual intentions for males viewing females, and females viewing males. It might not be especially surprising that evolution wired the male brain to find attractive bodies rewarding, but this unconscious fact is another pillar within the CKG and the CUKG. Watching a curvaceous woman can feel like a reward in the brain of men, much as drinking alcohol or taking drugs might, research has revealed. These new findings might help explain the preoccupation men can have with “checking out” the figures of all women that they encounter. Shapely hips in women are linked with fertility, peer acceptance and overall health. As such, it makes sense evolutionarily speaking that studies across cultures have shown men typically find the hourglass figures quite sexy and worth extra attention.

Guys who check out the sexy female models in magazines have more body-image problems than those males who do not, as well, so curiosity may lead to some forms of suffering. While it is fairly well-known that women feel worse about their bodies after viewing other “more attractive” females. guys apparently take the same knock after perusing the images of lingerie-clad women. The researchers have found that by looking at idealized, sexualized women, guys feel inadequate because they start thinking they need to measure up on the attractiveness scale to snag such a mate. Men make the inference that in order to be sexual and romantic with women of the similar caliber they see in magazines or on the internet, they also need to be attractive.

Women find similar optimally female human bodies as attention-grabbing, but for different reasons. Women size up other women in an effort to determine their own relative attractiveness and to maintain mate guarding. In other words, insecure women must keep their mate away from optimally designed females. Thus, the intersections of the worlds of both common and unconscious knowledge rules our experience in human sexual interactions.

Be aware, once again, of what the “common knowledge game” really is. Briefly, it is the process whereby we have internalized the verbal understandings of all others, whereby ignorant, judgmental, limiting, obfuscating, damaging, soul-destroying concepts of self and other are “socially acceptable” modes for assessing and understanding the self, and the other. This are internalized, and socialized, and this “knowledge” becomes a collectively shared experience. And, we all know that everybody else knows what we know, while we know what everybody else knows.  Within the Christian churches with backwoods understanding, we are all “sinners”, we are “corrupt”, we have no hope for “salvation”, etc. unless we believe a certain way, and bow down before certain philosophies and religious and political leaders.  Who wants to be damned to hell for eternity for not following the religious path?  Everybody knows that everybody knows that HELL is where you go when you disobey the laws that are represented in the bible, or expounded upon by the minister.

Through a process which has existed since verbal consciousness first formed in humanity, we develop verbal constructs to represent the outside world in our own internal universe. Yet, none of these internalized assessments are 100% accurate, NOR COULD THEY EVER BE, even though the entirety of human consciousness now shares in the illusion that what they do represent what is actually “out there” as represented by their current misunderstanding of their fellow human being, and their current relationship to the other (“the finger pointing at the moon can never be the moon”). And what exactly, does despair, optimism, faith and hope look like? We chase their true meaning with our words. How can our infinite spiritual heritage ever be adequately measured through words?

We use verbal constructs to oppress, repress, and deny the other, all the while unconsciously honoring the culturally inculcated process of mutual oppression, and repression of feminine energy and the Divine. We are all potential scapegoats for “the other”, especially when collaboration in a process is not a value, and much of our energy may become directed to prevention of us from becoming blamed or accused of behavior everybody is already responsible for, with or without us, anyway. PROJECTION IS PAINFUL, and we all feel its wrath from time to time.

Our culture shows many examples of this process playing out in movies, on TV programs, and, of course, we all experience this in our day-to-day lives, as we interact with our social and cultural environment. The implications are vast, and insidious. Please consider the following excerpt from the movie COOL HAND LUKE

Captain: You gonna get used to wearing those chains after a while, Luke. Don’t you never stop listening to them clinking, ‘cause they gonna remind you what I been saying for your own good.

Luke: I wish you’d stop being so good to me, Cap’n.

Captain: Don’t you ever talk that way to me. NEVER! NEVER! [Captain hits Luke, who rolls down the hill to the other prisoners] What we’ve got here is … failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don’t like it any more than you men.

The “failed” communication of the Captain to Luke is the basis for the successful communication of the Captain to the prisoners: subvert my rules and you will be crushed. The brutal message is made in public, not so that all the prisoners can see what happens to Luke, but so that all the prisoners can see all the prisoners seeing what happens to Luke.

In environments like prisons, the education system, the military, and larger groups up to, and including, American society, behavioral decisions based on private information (“I saw Luke beaten down for breaking the rules. If I break the rules I might get beaten, too.”) are almost always weaker than behavioral decisions based on Common Knowledge (“Everyone knows that if you break the rules like Luke you will be beaten down. Why would I even think about breaking the rules?”). The latter has more binding power, because, in effect, the prisoners themselves end up enforcing the warden’s (or society’s) rules. Even if you privately believe that you and your fellow prisoners could make a break for it, so long as you believe that “everyone knows” that you will be punished for breaking the rules, then you do not believe that you will receive any support from your fellow prisoners (fellow citizens, or friends). It is irrational to even raise the subject with your fellow prisoners, as you will mark yourself as someone who is either too stupid or too dangerous not to recognize what everyone else knows that everyone else knows. And because everyone is making a similar calculation, no one ever makes an escape attempt and the Common Knowledge grows stronger over time, as does the no-escaping binding attitudes. This is why the Captain goes to such lengths not just to punish Luke for his escape attempts, but to break Luke, and not just to break Luke, but to break Luke as publicly as possible.

A variation of the Common Knowledge game appears in a story first presented in ancient times.  Plato has Socrates describe a group of people who have lived chained to the wall of a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall from objects passing in front of a fire behind them, and give names to these shadows. The shadows are the prisoners’ reality. Socrates explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall are not reality at all, for he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the manufactured reality that is the shadows seen by the prisoners.

The inmates of this place do not even desire to leave their prison, for they know no better life. The prisoners manage to break their bonds one day, and discover that their reality was not what they thought it was. They discovered the sun, which Plato uses as an analogy for the fire that man cannot see behind. Like the fire that cast light on the walls of the cave, the human condition is forever bound to the impressions that are received through the senses. Even if these interpretations are an absurd misrepresentation of reality, we cannot somehow break free from the bonds of our human condition – we cannot free ourselves from phenomenal state just as the prisoners could not free themselves from their chains. If, however, we were to miraculously escape our bondage, we would find a world that we could not understand – the sun is incomprehensible for someone who has never seen it. In other words, we would encounter another “realm,” a place incomprehensible because, theoretically, it is the source of a higher reality than the one we have always known; it is the realm of pure Form, pure fact.

Because of the Common Knowledge game, there is enormous power in making a public spectacle out of information, which is why our local and national news, especially those tainted by the present day propaganda generators (see Fox News and Sinclair Broadcasting), Presidential Twitter posts, terminations from employment, public humiliations, coronations and executions (remember Timothy McVey?) alike are carried out in front of live audiences, posted to Facebook, broadcast through Twitter feeds, and/or are televised.  This lesson in behavioral influence – the crowd doesn’t just need to see the event, the crowd needs to see the crowd seeing the event – is why religious revival events, rock concerts, and so many of our modern social institutions – from political campaigns to American Idol – are staged in front of live audiences. When you sit in front of your TV set and watch, say, a national political convention, you are infinitely more engaged with the event when you see a crowd than when you don’t. We can’t help our self. It doesn’t even matter if the live audience is faked and we know that the audience is faked … have you ever listened to a sitcom without a laugh track? It’s just not as funny. The fact is that humans are social animals. We are hard-wired to look for and respond to Common Knowledge, and smart people – from political leaders to religious leaders to business leaders and concert organizers– have taken advantage of this for years.

What happens in the diseased family structure (alcoholism and drug addiction, physical and sexual abuse, psychological abuse of all types) in many situations of discipline and control exactly parallel the common knowledge game? Eventually, the children learn not to attempt to act out, or break free from, the oppressive qualities of an abusive parent, or parents, their church and its interpretation of “religious thought”, and their educational experience. Breaking the spirit of the abused child, and making sure that other members know that such “punishment” will also come their way keeps children under control, but also victimized, and traumatized. Children entering the school system where bullies are allowed to run free get to experience this process once again, in a bigger social setting. And, children who attend a church where the dignity of the individual is constantly degraded through their religious philosophy (you are a sinner, you always have been a sinner, and unless you believe the way we do, you are evil, and doomed to an eternity in hell) also will feel the horrific abuse of the COMMON KNOWLEDGE GAME. If any of us were to speak out against our oppressors, we will be punished severely, and we will be smacked down, and “roll down the hill” just like what happened to Paul Newman in the movie Cool Hand Luke. The character Luke, like all of us do frequently, gets smacked, and we are roll down the hill and confirm everybody’s bias, until we come out from under our oppressors.

There are two great acts of insanity that members of our family, and our culture, engage in, which are integral to the Conspiracy Of Silence, and the Common Knowledge Game of human perception:

1). There is the perception that if an authoritative political or religious leader or family member brings harm or damage to another, the victim must have somehow deserved it, and they should not expect an explanation, change of behavior, or apology from the aggressor. In fact, the victim of the aggression will be judged and punished even more harshly by calling a foul, or claiming harm, from the offensive behavior.

2). There is a perception that we all are of questionable origin, and value, except for, maybe, our self, depending upon who we are unfairly comparing our self to. This is a classic component of the Common Knowledge Game. Depending on the needs of the tribe we belong to, and how much we are acculturated within the group, we may devalue our self and all others, until we heal, and find our own unique voice and true value.

The mind must be clear so that the heart can hold others near and dear..

Our COMMON KNOWLEDGE GAME keeps all of us in some sort of order, albeit one that affirms the false truth that we are all broken human beings, with our only hope for salvation lying with chaotic, and insane, orders of unreality that continue to be inculcated into our collective consciousness. In other words, unless we march to the drummer of our religious and cultural past, we will be judged, persecuted, marginalized, and otherwise thrown to the wolves, with little hope for our own redemption.  Woe to the brave individual that strikes out on his own,  and attempts to find a new way of being in this world of chaos, distraction, and torment.

Far too many men engage in our cultural conspiracy of silence daily, which is a most deadly component of the CKG.  These include the following admonitions:

don’t talk

don’t tell

don’t touch

don’t feel

don’t engage

don’t listen

don’t change

The Buddha had his own ideas about what constitutes mental health, and by his definition anyone who isn’t well on the way to Enlightenment is insane. Quite how literally he meant it when he said “All humans are mad” is hard to say, but when he looked at ordinary people like us going about their daily business he saw a world out of balance — and a world that by necessity is out of balance, because it is composed of those same off-kilter individuals.  He viewed this imbalance as a form of perversion, inversion, and/or derangement  He understood that we, collectively, misunderstand the world that we live in, misunderstand ourselves, thus we all end up living in a virtual reality of delusion, confusion, and distortion.  What’s more, we largely share the same delusions, which mean that we don’t even realize that our minds are disturbed

As Krishnamurti suggests, it’s possible to think that we’re spiritually and mentally healthy because we share our mistaken values and understandings with those around us. Collectively, our ill minds create social circles, or society that is itself ill, and we consider ourselves healthy because we see our values reflected in our spiritually sick fellow travelers.

Jesus of Nazareth stated quite clearly that “My kingdom is not of this world”. Also he stated “Be in this world, yet do not be of it”. And, “Do not attempt to remove the sliver from each other’s eye, before first removing the log from your own eye”. Finally, he also stated “Straight is the way, and narrow is the gate, and very few there are who will enter in”. “Truly I tell you,” Jesus also said, “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

This is a pretty clear message, for those who have “ears to hear”.

Pockets of conscious, self-aware, healthy people have been sprouting up among the weeds of American misunderstanding since the beginning of our time together as a people and nation. Perhaps these pockets will someday be woven into  a national garment of spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical well-being, to be worn by all. This is not happening while I am still alive, however, and may not ever be realized in our time, or any time for that matter. Changes must happen within consciousness itself, and the “common knowledge game” that we all unconsciously play must be examined, and re-examined again and again, until we are no longer subjugated to its darker sides of oppression and repression of human spirit.

Yes, our country is in a downward spiral, where telling the truth is no longer a virtue, but instead it is bastardized, and spun into alternate reality fantasies, to be just another tool to be abused by propagandists. Propagandists are masters at manipulating fear, distrust, lies, half-truths, and specious reasoning, which also help to create new channels of control in the Common Knowledge Game.  We are in a war of ideologies, and the “first victim of war is the truth”. Supporting and promoting Pseudo-Christian Apocalyptic irrationality, and making “America Great Again” for the rich, for the polluting energy industry, and for the military, spells doom for the rest of us, and for our precious world.  Donald Trump and his family constitute non-holistic capitalism, and, at times, a borderline criminal enterprise. It is both a reflection on Donald Trump, and of America itself, that a known liar, cheater, manipulator, and one time Russian money dependent bankrupt businessman would be elected as Commander-in-Chief.

The most corrupt human being to occupy the White House in many, many generations (maybe ever?) knows a little about corruption and lying. It is kind of hard not too, since he is a master at both. Accusing others of his own bad behavior is typical of all “projectionists”, especially when guilty of all charges, and unable to mount a rational defense. The only fake news here is when Donald Trump opens his hyperbolic mouth, and entertains his minions with his verbal drooling. This dirty diaper of a human being needs to be changed, QUICKLY.  TREASON:  Trump Related Extreme Anxiety Strikes Our Nation.

Also a most insidious part of the CKG, coupled with the Lemming Effect is the belief in our leaders and religious texts without exposing their message to the light of reason and truth.   We have tens of millions of Americans who believe in their “leaders” no matter what (and many of these “blanket believers” also regard their religious “reasoning” AS BEYOND QUESTION), thus insanity and irrationality are built right into most of our collective understandings, and our individual personalities. i have little or no hope for that backward segment of our country, and the poor will always be among us and have a need to be dealt with. The laziness of their obese minds, overweight with rampant materialism, distrust of others unlike themselves, and ignorance, coupled with the rest of America’s present ineffectiveness at dealing with this national disgrace known as our POTU$, will potentially rain down all sorts of cruel and unfortunate outcomes upon all of us.

The healthy, sane, spiritually inspired individual steps outside of the COMMON KNOWLEDGE GAME, and practices seeing him or herself through a new lens with few or NO VERBAL CONSTRUCTS from our personal pasts, and our culturally damaged memories. This is the only “place” where a “heart centered experience” of the other becomes possible. Ultimately, if there is any words to be shared about what is experienced, it serves only as a temporary bridge to understanding, to be discarded at the earliest possible moment, as truth reveals itself MOMENT TO MOMENT, and not just through the shared verbal constructs of a dead past that may have arisen. When two people are observing the same beautiful sunset, there is little need for words, other than to affirm one’s joy in witnessing it.

In mystical Christianity, The WORD was meant to represent the spiritually realized person, whose very being, and words, come from the Truth as it exists in this eternal moment. Historically, some religious interpreters mistakenly believe that the Word becomes flesh in only one human form (Jesus), and dwelt among us some 2000 years ago (sorry, to those who misinterpret the first Christian mystic, St. Paul and his main disciple through the New Testament book of John). The Word actually points to a loving, non-verbal reality, far above and beyond the limiting verbal beliefs and insane actions of man in the world, and it also points to the human beings who through all time have been able to access that energy, express it in new, unique, loving ways, while practicing its universal principles in all of their affairs.

To ultimately transform the Common Knowledge Game of mutual imprisonment, we need to become aware of how we are seeing others seeing ourselves.  Changing the way we allow our own perceptions of how others expect us to behave opens the door out of our own uniquely created prison cells.  This is not to say that others’ intentions are always bad or nefarious towards us, as most of us want what is best for us as individuals, and hope that our best expectations for ourselves are also good for others, as well.  To see how we have ignorantly been controlled by others, or, more insidiously, how we have used our perceptions of how others expect us to behave and believe, grants insight into the whole process, and opens the door to a new way of seeing life, and being in life with others in more supportive, holistic, healthy manners.  Our words can then carry all of the potential of the love behind the collective good heart of mankind.

Those blessed few in this world who can finally see the complete matrix of the CKG within their own consciousness and awareness, will no longer be unconsciously controlled by its often times imprisoning parameters.  In the seeing of the matrix, is the liberation of the mind from its bondage to other people’s opinions, and freedom from our own wayward ideas, as well.  To finally break free of the Common Knowledge Game, and the Lemming Effect, is find our UNCOMMON knowledge, where wonder, awe, love of each other, love of self, love of earth and all of its animals, and the desire to help alleviate all suffering in the world, spontaneously arises within consciousness itself, and finally guides us to our own unique promised land.  We finally can leave the world of our pseudo-knowns, to explore the real world where newness, love, and truth’s unfolding goodness predominates.

THE LEMMING EFFECT

Now that we have thoroughly investigated human collective consciousness, we have found through the common knowledge game (conscious and/or unconscious) that there are many unconscious or unwritten rules for engagement between all members of society, in addition to the conscious and/or written ones.. The unconscious rules have been with us from the beginning, well before the introduction of mega-cities and civilizations, when mankind first falteringly attempted to both explore and to define inner experience. The conscious “rules” or laws have been developed over the last two hundred or more generations with the intention of establishing and maintaining the best order and harmony for the ever enlarging populations congregating together into the structure of cities or settlements. Hammurabi’s code of conduct and the Ten Commandments of the Old Testament are two great examples from our distant past of the documentation and implementation of rules defining acceptable conduct. The human race may continue to evolve in spirit and in truth as long as it is able to provide a minimum foundation of safety and security for all of its members, so it is important to remember that not all requirements to conform are misguided or evil in intent.

A great allegory for the social behavior of humans is that of the story of the life cycle of some populations of lemmings. Lemmings are little rodents that live near the cold northern Arctic regions.  They are focused animals by nature, meeting only to mate and then going their separate ways, but like all rodents, they have a high reproductive rate when food is plentiful. When population density becomes too high, some of the lemming species migrate in large quantities and since they can swim, they choose to cross the water in search of a new habitat. Lemmings have been known to follow each other as they plunge off the edge of cliffs into the water below. Even though lemmings have been found to be “swimming migrants” rather than victims of collective suicidal ideation, the myth of mass suicide is still called the Lemming Effect.

Regardless of the lemmings real intentions, the lemming story has become a metaphor for people who go along unquestioningly with a group, with potentially dangerous consequences.  The “Lemming Effect” is an innate psychological phenomenon, a survival trait, an inborn instinct in the majority of people. We see this happening in many occurrences from bad collective investment decisions such as the dot com boom of the late 1990’s, craving the latest Apple I Phone releases, excessive alcohol consumption at a party, following theological assertions such as “the blood of Jesus is the sacrifice to God that saves our soul”, to modern day automobile and fashion trends.

This Lemming Effect enables entire segments of a society to lose their sense of judgment and the application of personal wisdom all at the same time.  It can be linked to the “mob mind” phenomenon inherent within collective consciousness itself. Anybody who has witnessed a Trump rally understands this mindset, and the participant may feel threatened, or even be appalled by such crowd behavior if not presently an active member of the violent tribe.. If you have ever been a member in good standing in the problem drinking division at the local bar, you have intimate understanding of the suspension of wisdom and good judgement with your drinking decisions, as well

We are all alive today due to the self-organizing principles of life itself. In manufacturing and industrial processes, in our planet Earth and its journey through the solar system, and even in the human mind, we bear witness to the wonders and mysteries of self-organizing systems. The human brain has evolved into a capable predictive mechanism since the introduction of language as a tool for communication. Words are used for the measure of our experience, and are now our primary avenue for communication with each other. Words are forever containers for energy, and are not the actual energy itself, being only pointers towards that energy. Yet the introduction of words into the conscious void of the ancient human being must have been the most transformational, apocalyptic event in human history, probably being more important than the harnessing of the power of fire and water for the creation of the conditions for safety, security, and even society itself.

The development and the evolution of human language itself has had the effect of bringing the hope for new or enhanced order to the chaos inherent within the unconscious human experience, at least through the structure of words used to represent the world that one is experiencing. We only need witness the “committee”, or the “monkey mind” operating overtime within our minds while it unsuccessfully tries to make sense, or bring order, out of the background chaos forever present in our lives. Those who are neophytes in meditation, and even some of us when troubled by current events, experience this hyperactivity and perceive it as a block to peace of mind. In truth, this internal mental chaos, when reinterpreted, becomes a gateway or portal to be passed through so as to access deeper, more peaceful and benign regions of our spiritual identify.

There is an interesting interpretation of the Pauli Exclusion Principle which carries great relevancy to our understanding of the word. The Principle simply states that in our effort to describe or define any particle, or object, or to establish its exact location in the universe, we can never know all of the characteristics of the object of observation at one time, such as its angular momentum, direction, speed, and mass, being limited to three out of the four descriptors. Like our imperfect attempts at locating a particle in space, our words, literally, are our sincere, though incomplete, collective measurements, or representations, of reality, or our theories for how things now are, or could become in the future. We attempt to measure and locate eternally elusive phenomenon, and our words are perpetually in a state of “catch up” with an ever-unfolding new reality.

If establishing or maintaining order is our concern, we can effectively channel all relevant knowledge into intelligent systems of control that will maintain maximum stability wherever necessary, but only under those conditions where we understand most or all of the variables.. The basic process control theory underlying all modern industrial and manufacturing systems has an equivalent in the human mind, where we use feedback and feedforward information loops for refining and maintaining order (mindfulness, personal inventory, and meditation). For humans, though our primary system of control is through the laws of our society and of our religions, we have not yet developed the understanding of all of the boundary conditions for our human experience. Humanity’s egregious blunder has been in attempting to bring stability to itself while disregarding the laws of our spiritual heritage and of Mother Nature, which mankind continues to ignore, at its own peril. The instability introduced into our collective Earth life system by humanity’s ignorance of these laws will not be correctable until we humble ourselves enough to learn from our mistakes, be they theological, philosophical, religious, economic, ecological, or social in nature.

The nature of self-organizing systems is that once the quiescent point (also known as the Q point, set point, the functional operation level, the balance or the homeostasis point) has been altered, the system naturally seeks a return back to its native state, or “normalcy”. For our human experience, this may be both a blessing and a curse, depending on the “state” to which we are being returned back to. Typically, if we stretch a rubber band, and then release it, it returns to its original state. But, if we have stretched the rubber band too hard and too often, the rubber band loses its elasticity, and will never again return to its original state. A human being who has been stretched beyond their capacity through excessive stress, anxiety, and/or addictive behavior cycles will NOT be returning to their “normal” state, once it is recognized that the “normal” state was, in fact, an unhealthy, abnormal state of being in the first place, which in turn led to the creation of their present chaotic mindset..

For our planet Earth, this may mean ridding itself of any or all offensive life forms that threaten its very existence, and that continues to drive it out of balance with itself. The time intervals for finding a new, or returning to an old, “set point” that indicates a healthy life is far different between an individual human life and the life of planet Earth. The Earth may take thousands, or millions, of years to return to or reach its optimal state, whereas the evanescent ones must act immediately and decisively, lest we not live long enough to witness any real healing progress.

A life out of balance means that not enough knowledge has been uncovered, or applied, to guarantee harmonious system operation. And it is of ultimate importance to realize that, in the end, the human race is not the determiner of what homeostasis is for the world, as that has been established through many billions of years of its evolution and, thus, its changing relationship with itself and the rest of the Universe. It is also of greatest importance to realize that no man, or woman, is an island in this vast universe, and that our perception of harmony and balance is inextricably intertwined with the rest of humanity. No matter how healed, balanced, or empowered we believe that we are becoming, we are eternally linked with the rest of humanity, and the universe, in our attempts to create order or balance out of our own unique versions of the collective chaos known as human knowledge. The temptation to follow the herd, or to swim with the lemming, is built right into the foundational nature of our socialized existence.

We don’t realize how often our decisions are based on other people’s behavior. Lemming effect depicts a negative side of the conscious following of the crowd, especially when following leads to falling off the cliff. In real life situations it could mean losses of money, self identity and slower spiritual development. As it might sound easy to grasp the concept, it is difficult to notice in our own actual behavior. Moreover, social togetherness is sometimes very pleasant and valuable, for instance at a rock concert where one man starts to dance, then few people join and once the critical 10-20 people threshold is passed, massive amounts of people may join the dance.. It is a pleasant example of a positive manifestation of the lemming effect. It is all part of the process of making our unconscious parts more conscious, which must also bring awareness that mass behavior does not always result in positive experience for the individual.

Lets take the stock market dot-com bubble implosion in 1999-2001 and a recent real estate/collateralized debt obligation bond fiasco in 2007-2009, which also caused another stock market crash. Many investors were too emotional, irrational and instead of conducting the research themselves, followed the commonly accepted level of valuation. Believing that our world is always operating effectively and efficiently in short time periods results in the lazy approach of following what others do. A take away from this situation is that we each must remain vigilant in our awareness, and that we cannot walk individually, or join in the stampede as may be the case, on the same path as the others and be guaranteed that we will retain our integrity.

From a spiritual development perspective, following the masses could mean loosing our individuality, feeling anxious, uncomfortable and discontented. For instance, if the most popular educational program in universities happened to be engineering and we choose engineering while ignoring our true desires, this could lead to some serious cognitive dissonance. The supporting rationale that we have the best grades and this career would please our father the most may lead in unhappy directions. Many of us fail to perform sufficient research of what studies would fit us the best. Our choices could result in the premature termination of our studies, or worse, finishing the studies and then having to be retrained to work in a different field. I have pointed out a very real phenomenon here, as my educational life was directed through this very same unconscious process.

The lemming effect is not that far from pleasant, life affirming social togetherness, but the effect has some potential negative effects that we need to be aware at all times. It is healthy and wise to participate in social movements, but we must not lose our heads in the emotions. We must be critical of the movements of the crowd that are going against our vision and values. Also, we must do the research, and even experiment with unpopular ideas, before deciding that any massive new movement is for us. It is important not to ignore the “leading edge” movements, because accidentally standing on the way of the movement could bring harm to us or others. On the other hand, we could have a very good experience with the lemming effect, if played well. This is one of the aspects where an aware individual can play the common knowledge game and “lemming effect” to maximum personal benefit, without changing the collective rules of engagement. Our politicians, marketers and advertisers, and religious leaders have harnessed the power of the “lemming effect”, and our entire world civilization continues to be manipulated, for good or for evil, by these practitioners.

I dare not leave this subject without the presentation of an amazing, though disquieting, theory of human population control. We have an immune system which is automatically activated to fight and neutralize any invader into our body. Our minds work on a similar level, as it attempts to fight and neutralize any offender who threatens our safety, security, or peace of mind. Our planet Earth, or Gaia, also is a vibrant, living being with almost infinite potential to bring forth new forms of life into the universe. And Gaia has its own innate power to bring balance back to itself, with unexpected consequences in store for our unwary, overpopulating human race. It is not a stretch of reason to assume that whatever consciousness Gaia may be infused with may interpret our reproductive over exuberance as indicative of the presence of an imbalance within its own energy field, and make attempts to correct it.

Our planet Earth is now engaged in balancing itself and its energies, just as it has for billions of years. Though it may not have consciousness of the same nature as humans (the mind of the immortal, and the mind of the mortal, do not have a lot in common), the self-organizing principle of this vast system includes the elimination and/or balancing of all forces that do not positively contribute to its life and further its evolution. The human race, due to overpopulation, has brought great imbalances to planet Earth. Some experts believe that we may have ten times the amount of humans on our planet than our planet can sustain in harmony. The stress being generated in the mind of man by this overabundance of humanity may well be part of the self-protective mechanism of planet Earth itself. Humanity has captured a piece of Universal consciousness, which includes planet Earth and its collective awareness (see Teilhard de Chardin and his Noosphere concept). Our collective desire to go to war, to kill each other, to commit suicide, and/or to not generally thrive as a collective, may well be the Earth, acting through human consciousness, to bring healing to itself through the removal of damaged parts of itself, at least enough to bring balance back to the Earth. The Earth is, basically, eternal, as far as we are concerned, and is PRIMARY here, while the human race presently has little conscious presence in eternity. Our own Armageddon may well be written right into the operating system of Earth consciousness as it brings stability back to itself through all of its agents, be it earth, air, sunlight, fire, or water, and its almost infinite expression of flora and fauna.

Without harmony and peace, no homeostasis around a healthy operating point is possible.

Anyone care to take a plunge into the water from a cliff, or go for a long swim? Like lemmings, we are all migrants, albeit spiritual migrants, until we find our unique spiritual home. Once we have found our truth, we may follow our heart and our intelligence, and if that means following the herd for the moment, so be it. But if it means leading the herd, or even leaving the herd for a time, we must be ready to answer the call, as it may lead to all manners of healing and spiritual prosperity.

TOXIC MASCULINITY

We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes. — Fred Rogers .

Greed, Gold, Guns, Gore,Girls, Gonads, and NO REASONABLE ALTERNATIVES (NRA).  How much is enough, American male, and the American females who continue to enable them? Our national disgrace arises from the collective impacts of toxic masculinity, a topic that does not get enough attention. Men are still predominantly in control, and continue to skew the narrative away from the truth that MEN’S ATTITUDES ARE THE PROBLEM. Our ideas for addressing the problems of gun violence, addiction, greed, and sexism tend to avoid obvious, rational solutions, because we don’t want to face ourselves. And, failure to face ourselves will lead to the same self-destructive end that eventually happens to all humans, and our attempts at creating and maintaining a civilization.

I wrote this chapter as a direct reaction to my experience of my male heritage, my experience as a son to a often times toxic father, and working with many damaged men in the electrical trades and in general employment. Men, as a collective, would rather have our neighbors, wives and children assaulted, raped, overdosed through drug use, or murdered through gun violence, than make the necessary changes to our culture, and to our hearts and soul. We need more women in positions of power and influence, and men need to get in touch with their potential for toxic behavior and attitudes, and begin to make necessary course changes in their hearts and souls.

I chose not to address toxic femininity in this book, for our feminine counterparts certainly do not engage in rape and murder, and start wars, to near the same degree as their male partners do. I would like to mention again that subservient women are the primary non-male support network for our cultural conspiracy of silence in regards to all manifestations of male dominance, aggression and spiritual toxicity. Many men seek docile women so that they can remain unchallenged in their disease of the mind and spirit, and many marriages become fole-le deux relationships of convenience, ignorance, and continued patriarchy. I would be remiss if I did not mention the two poster girls for female toxicity, who are Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and KellyAnne Conway. These two woman have done more to harm the national perception of woman than any other public figures in recent memory. Never mind that certain sects and cults of Christian understanding respect and honor the two, for they are all part of the passing show of feminine disempowerment parading as patriarchal support for our corrupt POTU$.

• 

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The abhorrent behavior of Donald Trump, the poster boy and face for toxic male stupidity and darkness, as well as his supporting cast of damaged characters, has become the de-facto leader of the energy of toxic masculinity.. If we as a culture, and me as an individual, don’t speak out, and affirm to ourselves, and to others, what the truth really is to us, then eventually the hypnosis and propaganda of others may become our own collective reality, and continue to overtly influence our personal integrity, community relationships and overall spirituality.

The historical legacy of the American white man’s ignorance and evil, and his support network of unconscious, disempowered, fearful and/or cowardly family and community members, continues even up till today.  Women remain the number one oppressed group of humanity, though the blacks/African Americans, native American Indians, and other racial and ethnic groups have not escaped the grasp of white male privilege, masquerading as American Christianity inspired capitalism and politics. Subservient women tend to follow their husband’s lead, and as a group remain one of the leading populations of unconscious support for continued male dominance.

Here are some principles of toxic masculinity that I found live in our collective consciousness, and which also lived in unconscious domains of my own mind and heart. I have exaggerated them, and linked them with common monetary, sexual, and personal power dynamics. And yes, these principles, or variations of these themes, are part of the Common Knowledge Game fundamentals for erroneous understanding of self and other. If they appear to mimic some of the values and principle’s underlying Donald Trump’s abhorrent behavior, then you are already paying close attention to our collective consciousness, and its dangerous and sometimes catastrophic influence on the affairs of humanity throughout our history.

#1:

I am the center of the Universe. The rest of humanity is here either for my pleasure, for my profit, or for my disdain. I may attend a church occasionally, so that I can create the impression that I worship a higher power than myself. But, I already know that there is no higher power but me. HUMILITY IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME, and is only for the poor and weak among us.

#2

Truly loving another human being is a sign of weakness, and thus I must continue to suppress all such impulses so that I can achieve my selfish goals. I will carry on a campaign of hatred, judgement, and condemnation of all people unlike myself, all the while claiming to represent their interests at the highest level of my being (with subtlety, if one is of the passive/aggressive nature) . The ignorant people populating my world will hopefully associate my hateful behavior with their understanding of what love is, thus damaging the hearts and souls of all who may fear, respect, and/or follow me. My schizophrenia will be confusing to others, but may still be normalized, as others that I have influenced model and support my behavior.

#3:

People are most valuable if they can be monetized. If I can’t make money from my relationship with people, then I don’t necessarily need them. They will have to prove that they belong in my life in some other selfish self-serving ways.

#4:

Never admit that I am wrong. Always blame somebody else for my problems. The admission of guilt is a sign of weakness, and only for those who do not have sufficient monetary and legal power. I don’t need your forgiveness for my mistakes, because, as far as you should be concerned, I do not ever make mistakes.

#5:

I have a right to choose how much drugs and alcohol that I consume.  I do not need feedback from others telling me that I am abusing my medicine and/or alcohol.  I have earned the right to drink as much as I feel like, because I have so much stress in my life, and  I make so many sacrifices that I deserve an extra break and release through excessive alcohol and;/or drug consumption.  I do not have a problem, and if you think that I have a problem with my chemicals, then it is your misunderstanding, and not my own.

#6:

Never spend any time in self-reflection or meditation. Developing insight is difficult and time-consuming, and I have more important things to do  I am already perfect, I always have been perfect, and everybody else needs to change to accommodate my needs. If I am not “perfect” today, I always have someone, or something, else to blame.

#7

I have a right to use my strong emotions to intimidate and threaten anybody that I need to in order to get my way.  My anger is a weapon, to be wielded whenever necessary, and its expression is my first selection from my arsenal of control tools in manipulating and controlling my world.

#8

If I can’t get my way with another human being, then I will cajole or bully them into submission, or attack their name and character, and/or impugn their dignity, until they either submit, or are discredited by my allies.

#9:

Everybody unlike me  should be distrusted. Relationships built through mutual trust and collaboration can be threatening to my short-term goals, and should not be cultivated, as only alliances of hate and distrust are capable of bringing me to my goals.

# 10

The women in our lives are more suited to be our personal possessions than self-sufficient, independent people, and are not to be treated as equals, and are better suited for exploitation for family support, sexual purposes and/or economic gain.

#11

If I can’t get my way through truth-telling, then the telling of lies becomes my most potent weapon. If I am caught in a lie, then it is only your misunderstanding of my point, and not what I said, that is wrong. If I tell the same lie often enough, then people will start to accept the lie as the truth.

#12

If there is no conflict currently in progress, then I must start creating the conditions for the next one, and socially position myself so that I can maximize emotional profits and visibility for myself.

#13

I never will obtain enough money, power, sex, or attention to keep me happy. I must continue to pursue these needs to extremes in order to keep me from becoming depressed and losing my sense of personal value in this world. If I achieve my goals, and I am still unhappy, I must set new goals to attempt to fill that big hole in my heart and soul.

#14

The powers of my penis reigns supreme. When it is erect, it always points me in the right direction, regardless of the people who may be hurt by my wayward sexual desires. My self-esteem is dependent on how many women that I can convince to make love to me, and nobody is immune from my advances. One is too many, and a thousand is not enough, when it comes to sexual conquests.

#15

I am the king of my home. I have created my kingdom to serve my selfish needs. If my rules are not honored, and my intentions for the family do not hold up, and family members start to stray, I will coerce, cajole, or threaten all wayward members with violence, if necessary. The family must stay together under my control, no matter what the cost to others might be.

#16

Perfectionism and full control of others should not be mutually exclusive propositions. I will judge, criticize, and condemn others, and myself, as needed, to bring all of my world into alignment with how I think that it should be. I will compare and contrast my wealth and success with others to establish the best baseline for my expectations and behavior. My wife and my children are first and foremost my possessions. I will direct and control as necessary, and nobody else has any right to criticize my choices in how I provide and care for them.  My whole sense of self-esteem is derived by how deeply they honor and obey me, without argument or back talk. I do not want or need alternate points of view, as my view is the only view that is relevant.

#17

If those closest to me engage in betrayal, and destroy my sacred relationship with my family, I must avenge myself, and destroy all who have threatened my life and values. My wife is my property, and my property alone.  If she should ever have an affair with another man, I reserve the right to punish her and my family, up to, and including, murdering them. If I must die in the process, it is a good death for me.

#18

Self sabotage is my unconscious need.  It is my right to destroy my creations even as I destroy myself, so murder-suicide is an acceptable option in the extreme, when my needs have been dishonored, and I feel that I have no more options to improve my life situation.

#19

I have been a failure since I never measured up to my father’s, my church’s, or my society’s standards. I will continue to self-sabotage my success at ever bend in life’s road, and I will see life as a self-fulfilling prophesy of incompleteness and loss. I will not even question that my life has other possibilities for it, and I will resign myself to my depressing fate.

#20

I reserve the right to murder anybody, when it suits my needs to protect myself. I will justify my possession and use of firearms through quoting the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution, as well as pointing to the fear and threats in our world, and our country as my own justification for stockpiling weapons. I will not listen to reason, as my mind is made up, and you can have my weapons after “prying them from my cold, dead hands” (thanks NRA, and the late mega-asshole Charlton Heston).

This list is the abbreviated list, as aspects of our collective selfishness covers the entire range of human darkness.  Men burdened by toxicity tend towards sexism, racism, isolation, poor judgement against all others unlike themselves, and low self-esteem, while men moving towards spiritual healing tend to unite with others in peace and mutual acceptance, and a willingness to share an improving sense of their self with the world.

These Toxic Masculinity Values and Principles underpin much of the Common Knowledge Game, which is the modern name for the phenomenon of socialized understanding of self and the other.  As the wise ones advise:  To change my world, I first change myself.There is terrorist, a Nazi, that lives deep down within all of us.  Once we have addressed our darkness, and healed it through bringing our light to it (insight), it loses its power to unconsciously control us.  Then, when we go out into the world to subdue the evil that sometimes erupts in dank, dark places, we can fight the actual enemies, and not waste energy fighting projections of our unhealed self.The fundamental oppressive force in the human universe is not our wayward political or social agendas, it is the human mind itself.Be careful in there!

Punch A Nazi Sign at June 2018 Portland, Oregon Rally for Immigrants and their families

The following information, though not quite up to date, carries some painful truths about masculinity, entrenched power, the #metoo movement, and gun violence.

Nov 4, 2017 – The rate of gun deaths in the United States rose in 2016 to about 12 per 100,000 people, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in a report released on Friday. That was up from a rate of about 11 for every 100,000 people in 2015, and it reflected the second consecutive year that the mortality rate increased.
The age-adjusted rate of drug overdose deaths in the United States in 2015 (16.3 per 100,000) was more than 2.5 times the rate in 1999 (6.1).

Sexual violence is a problem that is deeply rooted in our culture. Presently, the CDC does not have any statistics about sexual abuse against women in general, but i have read that one in four women have experienced sexual abuse at the hands of the diseased American male. The following statistics should be of interest (from RAINN):

17,700,000
The estimated number of women who have been the victims of rape since 1998.

99
The percentage of perpetrators of sexual violence that will walk free.

13
The percentage of female rape survivors who will attempt suicide.

64
The percentage of trans people who will experience sexual assault in their lifetimes.

127,000,000,000
The total amount of money rape costs victims every year in the U.S., excluding child sexual abuse.

16-19
The age range that women are four times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. Female college students ages 18-24 are three times more likely than women in the general population to experience sexual violence.

1 in 6
The fraction of American women who have survived an attempted or completed rape in their lifetimes.

1.8
The amount of times trans people of color are more likely to experience sexual violence than the general population.

3
The percentage of men who will be raped in their lifetime.

90
The percentage of adult rape victims that are female.

321,500
The average number of victims of rape and sexual assault per year in the U.S.

80,600
The estimated number of inmates who experience sexual violence in prison or jail every year.

60
The percentage of instances of sexual violence experienced by inmates that are perpetrated by jail or prison staff.

2
The number of times a person with a disability is more likely to be a victim of sexual assault or rape than a person without a disability.

A rational human being would posit that ALL rates are unacceptable, and that the American culture needs to treat ALL conditions seriously and equally. Why are we so self-destructive and irrational as a culture that we allow gun violence, sexual violence, and drug additive violence to continue against our fellow citizens? You already know the answer, and it continues to propagate in the genitals, and the damaged minds, of many men in power.

If enough people do rise up and rebel against the prevailing order (disorder) of the day, dramatic and positive change can be made. This is, in fact, how all evolutionary change is to be successfully made in a diseased, structured society like our own.

Domestic violence, sexual abuse, and patriarchal attitudes are a set of learned behaviors with the emphasis on exerting unhealthy power and control over others, and can be unlearned — but it takes consistent work on the part of the person who caused harm well beyond the immediate crisis.  Complex ideas about gender roles and expectations are often at the root of abusive behavior, many times having been instilled from childhood.

Gentle confrontation with the offending person is a first step towards healing.  The person may be unaware of his negative influence over others, or may feel powerless to do anything about it.  Counseling can be the next step towards healing,  though it would take the mutual accountability through the controls exerted by the common knowledge game for the rest of our population to move towards change.  It takes ongoing attention and progress checks from the community, family members, and friends to ensure a true change of behavior.   And, people who harm others should allow justice to be determined by the survivor. The perpetrators should publicly own up to their behavior, apologize, and describe how they’re trying to change. This is how we change norms around the conspiracy of silence that permeates domestic violence — by showing others using harm that accountability is necessary and healing is possible.

Make America Great Again? Normalize that which should never have been acceptable? Get real, and start healing, American male. Greatness only comes after we, as a society, face our collective darkness, acknowledge its damaging impacts on others, makes amends to ALL we have harmed, and find integrity, and stay on a more humane path in the future.

Fred Rogers may have died, but you can still be a hero, as well as a world healer.

Please, save yourself.
And then, SPEAK UP!

All Of Our Ideas Around God And Human Leadership Need Revision.

All of the human races ideas around God and human leadership need dramatic revision, to become more in alignment with intelligence and spiritual ideals. Yet, in the absence of intelligence and noble ideals, our country now flounders. It is distressing to much of our fellow citizens to have to daily witness the epitome of toxic masculinity ruling from his throne at Mara Lago or in the Oval office. I would like to take the liberty of bringing a little cynical humor to the office of the POTUS, and the mythical throne of God, which was once collectively seen as an acceptable image for the “higher power”. Yes, it is time to bash a few sacred cows (please forgive me PETA).

The Ultimate Position, God, has been vacated by that White Bearded White Man wearing flowing robes, who used to sit on, and rule from the Golden Throne. Yes, that old, worn out historical fantasy of an image for God no longer serves the awakening consciousness of our world, though it still serves the ignorant, and the artist, quite well.

I have an idea. . . Donald Trump could resign from the presidency, be given that position, rule from his White Porcelain Altar, and not miss a beat, or a wipe. It is said that his greatest thoughts are engraved daily upon the sacred white Twitter scrolls of his toilet paper. His followers will have the same success worshiping this false Idol as they did his “predecessor”.

It is a win-win proposition. Our country can then survive and prosper, and Trump can stay in his ignorant, hateful, delusional world, ruling without conflict, while the rest of his hypnotized minions continue to ponder why they feel abandoned by their “God”.

In God’s Universe, and Mind, all that is ever seen, unto eternity, is Itself. In Trump’s universe, in which he sees “shit-hole countries”, rest assured that this is the most revealing insight into how he sees himself, and his relationship to the ALL. All of the Universe is but a ‘shit hole’ to Trump, if it has no use to him with his self-serving agendas. Pardon me if I excuse myself from his twisted, deluded “divine mission’.

The rest of humanity can continue to witness the real God working It’s Love and Miracles with the Awakened People Of Our Country, and The World, guiding the Aware, opened Hearts and Minds, as It always has. The dark and ignorant will continue to unconsciously benefit, without ever knowing why. And Trump can continue to be worshiped as the Dark King that he is.

Just a thought, with my verbal tongue planted firmly in my cheek.

Soon, it will be COMMON KNOWLEDGE, that the President of the United States has no integrity, is a corrupt criminal, and has been unfit to serve as our national leader, let alone as a leader of a family or a business.

Yes, the “devil made me do it!”

Sometimes, the “devil” or the “trickster” can actually point to the unexplored doors within the self behind which resides the infinite reservoir of our spiritually based “uncommon knowledge”,

It is within our “uncommon knowledge” that our salvation lies.

However, it might mean that we have to leave the herd, and find our own way.

Wisdom, Knowledge, Intuition, and the Whim

Our human knowledge based intelligence has been defined in many ways, including: the capacity for logic, understanding, self-awareness, learning from both personal experience and through the transfer of shared knowledge, emotional knowledge, reasoning, planning, creativity, insight, critical thinking, and problem solving. When all aspects of our intelligence are successfully accessed, we become wiser people.

We have many tools to access in our quest for knowledge and the most reasonable ways to apply that knowledge for wise, constructive action in the world. Our knowledge is based upon familiarity, awareness, or understanding of someone or something, such as facts, information, descriptions, or skills, which is acquired through experience or education by perceiving, discovering, or learning knowledge. Knowledge can also refer to a theoretical or practical understanding of a subject.

Intuition is a process that gives us the ability to know something directly without analytic reasoning, bridging the gap between the conscious and unconscious parts of our mind, and also between instinct and reason.

A whim is a capricious or eccentric and often sudden idea or turn of the mind, and its action is mutually exclusive of the actions of wisdom, knowledge, and intuition..

I first came into a conscious collision with the “whim versus wisdom” dynamic while I was in the sixth grade. The principal of our grade school wanted a representative from each class, from both the fifth and the sixth grades, to attend a parent-teacher conference in the auditorium on a week night. It was to be considered an honor to be selected, according to our teachers, and the students were advised to select from among themselves who would be the best representative.

As a community of grade schoolers, we had a difficult time establishing the process for how to select the representative, let alone who it should be. The teacher helped by instituting two male “overseers”, one from the fifth and one from the sixth grade, who were to facilitate the determination process by asking for volunteers, or asking for specific students of their own choosing, and discussing their qualifications between the two selected leaders. The boys expressed frustration with the process, and even though our teachers offered up two good candidates from each class, ON A WHIM as promoted by one of the sixth grade boys, a quiet, shy girl was selected for the sixth grade class. She had been the recipient, in the past, of some teasing and bullying by me and others, and I could immediately see that this process had the potential to victimize her.

I offered my own protest with a form of passive/aggressive humor, but the decision had been made. The more others protested, the more the two loudest supporters of the girl became. The two boys dreamed up several good reasons after the fact for their “decision” to overrule the majority. I was to later learn that the primary reason that Jeff encouraged the selection of Janice was so that he could continue to harass her. What was to be an opportunity to honor and acknowledge our classes through selecting our most qualified representatives turned into another opportunity for infantile misogynistic persecution and teasing.

This selection process dramatically impacted me, and has influenced my understanding of group dynamics ever since.

Do we, as a collective, select candidates for political office on a whim, or do we use knowledge, intuition and wisdom?

You already know your own personal answer to this question.

Many of us, relying upon the opinions of others, have made many decisions to not be wise, but to instead follow the opinions of others, who may be engaging in whimsical or non-critical thinking of their own.

We must learn to trust ourselves and our ability to apply our experience and knowledge, and with a little bit of our developed insight. Our intuition must be developed as a complement to our own wisdom. Typically, our learned wisdom that does not conform to what our latest “intuitive hit” suggests must be scrutinized further, and an intelligent balance struck between those two poles. Intuition and wisdom are not mutually exclusive, and, in fact, complement each other.

We may be wrong about many issues, but at least we are accessing our intelligence, and learning from our errors. Following blind people into the ditch does not do our basic nature justice, so beware of the temptation to try to adapt to other’s expectations, at the expense of developing our own unique intelligence. Wisdom that is universal in nature is like the scent of a flower that we just cannot pull ourselves away from, nor should we.

Wisdom is spawned from experience, and is best embraced and expressed through our story telling, and our intelligent actions in the world. Sound bites just do not carry enough of wisdom’s energy. We must be careful not to integrate meme’s and sound bites into a quilt of understanding, because the stitching will come unraveled, and we will be left appearing and acting like less than the wise people that we can be.

Whimsical thinking is respected because of its lack of adherence to established patterns, which can be attractive to creative people, non-conformists, and insane individuals, so there is a spectrum of benefit to be gained by accessing it. But whimsical thinking must be set aside for those times when intelligent action is required. Be wise, watch out for whimsical thinking, and make those difficult, challenging decisions that are beneficial for our life, and for our world’s life, too..

Knowledge

“One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.”
― Krishnamurti 

Our present day national consciousness continues to be heavily influenced by old history and skewed knowledge, racism, white male supremacy, Christian fundamentalist inspired judgements, hatreds and ideologies, patriarchy, misogyny, and xenophobia. I was born and raised under these cultural conditions, and I have been strongly impacted by the human energy that is spawned from these lower levels of understanding.  I also come from the class of white male Americans who are now considered to be the most susceptible to anxiety, despair, loneliness, suicide, alcoholism and/or drug dependency, and depression, though the race and sex that I belong to, and the country that I consider to be my home, do not have the monopoly on all such spiritual disease. 

My main coping mechanisms for dealing with America’s and my own dark side are practicing spiritual healing principles, and writing about and verbally communicating with others who also share my interest in spirituality and recovery from the human condition.   My path,  and the paths of all others, have taken all of us to unique and valuable viewpoints, so it is of prime importance that we find our voice and share our knowledge with each other.  Through multitudes of these energy exchanges, we all may benefit from each others’ experiences, and contribute to the formation of a more peaceful, healing collective consciousness in America. There is a huge spiritually awakening element that has already risen out of their own ignorance, and continues to capture the imagination and attention of many oppressed and repressed Americans.

It is important to understand the internal headlights that our minds use to search for knowledge, and truth. The “headlights” tend to encourage self-fulfilling predictions/prophecies, so for us to look at that which “looks” will bring amazing insights and enhance the potential for healing experiences.  What information really is, or isn’t important?  Which attitudes, insight, and knowledge leads to greater measures of wisdom, and, potentially, freedom from our inhibiting and restrictive “knowns”, especially in the situations where our knowledge appears to be in conflict with the truth?   As a long-term practitioner of mindfulness, mysticism, and personal inventory, as well as an unintentional expert in recovery, toxic masculinity, toxic religion, and toxic capitalism, I have a lot of insight into why the world spins the awkward way it now does.  All of my present writings tend to revolve around my “knowledge” about those subjects. Yet, my “personal knowledge” has little value or relevance to others, especially if I die before I share it.

Most of the male peer groups from my childhood and early adulthood were populated by individuals who were both coarse in interpretation and superficial in presentation of their lives, and they could have cared less about what I am now writing about or saying.   Many of my peers, and friends from those days have already died relatively young, or continue to practice unhealthy attitudes and dependencies into their later years, as a direct result of their unwillingness or inability to delve deeper into the painful issues, concerns, and mysteries of their lives.  Their own personal knowledge of the world can not actualize their healing potentials and bring a deeper sense of purpose and meaning to their lives, yet there is the fear of the unknown, which inhibits the revelation of truth in one’s life.  By staying in familiar painful ruts, the view at least does not change too much.  And far too many people stuck in those ruts are not even aware that they are engaged in self-defeating attitudes and behaviors, or, if they are aware, have already given up hope that there is another life available for them.  Yet, staying in the familiar hell remains the unconscious choice that most suffering people make, all the way up to their deaths, imprisonment, or insanity.. 

The conscious being has infinite capacity to witness life and then create knowledge, where necessary, around those interactions.  It only takes one time getting bit by a snake and suffering mightily under the influence of its poison to create and share the knowledge that it is vitally important to avoid physical contact with serpents while doing outdoor chores or walking in the desert.  The unconscious being also has the same infinite witnessing capacity, yet their choices for how they see themselves and their lives can be so self-limiting as to make them prisoners in their own homes.  In the snakebite situation, a more unconscious person would use the knowledge of the potential damage from a snakebite to create fear-based stories that would keep the person behind closed doors, avoiding the outdoors altogether, or even obtaining and carrying a loaded firearm, just in case they need to “protect themselves”. 

Yet each category of awareness, be it conscious or unconscious, must arise from the same pool of potentiality, where the mystery of collective consciousness and the entrainment of all individual minds to that group mind, creates and maintains the appearance of whatever order and reality that each individual both anticipates and actually experiences.  However, even the relatively more conscious ones of the world will still be challenged to find what the real truth is behind each new situation that presents itself to awareness. 

It has been said in certain contest guidelines:

“You must be present to win”.

This is also true as far as knowledge goes.  Being a witness to an actual event gives whatever story one creates and shares credibility, at least up to the point that the story teller can be trusted, and has been accurate and honest in the past.  If a personal memory is not available to convey a teaching or a message, listening to the stories of other first-hand witnesses can be beneficial.  A great example is that of the knowledge that fathers pass on to their sons around issues of family philosophy/religion, self-esteem, growing up into manhood and accepting personal responsibility, sexuality, learning to ride a bike or drive a car, and future community involvement. The less experiential the teaching, the less the staying power of the message, so it is important to keep the listener engaged with all of their senses, if possible. 

The printing press opened civilization up to much more advanced opportunities for education and information transfer and sharing.  The internet has opened humanity up to potential for the real time witnessing and sharing of other people’s adventures and learning experiences, almost without limits.  Watching a multi-media presentation will carry more potential meaning and  information to the higher intelligence centers of the brain than just a meme or soundbite, which arouses the more basic areas of the brain where fear is most prone to rule.   There is never a shortage of information, but there is always a question about the accuracy of the information, and how it is to be presented. 

Several decades ago, Saudi Oil Minister Sheikh Yamani gained recognition for his insight into global development:

“The Stone Age did not end for lack of stone, and the Oil Age will end long before the world runs out of oil.”

Today, we live in what many call the Information Age, and we are in absolutely no danger of running out of information, particularly in data form. There is a general perception that we are overwhelmed with data, making the ability to store, process, analyze, interpret, consume, and act upon that data a primary concern.  There are, potentially, infinite streams of information available, yet most information may have little or no use to our discerning, conscious minds..  There is so much more to reality than what just greets the eye, and appears on the screens of our cellphones and/or computer monitors, however.  Scientists, mathematicians, theologians, artists, philosophers, enlightened politicians, and Google algorithm writers, continue to struggle towards some unknown destination that our collective search for truth continues to guide us towards as a human race.  The exponential increase in available information does little to settle what the “truth” might be, let alone which direction that its search may best be started from.

Information can help us to know why we are ill and which illnesses we have, exactly. But wisdom is to know how to heal them.

—Dr. Alberto Villoldo 

We need only watch the evening news, or read any newspaper or magazine, to recognize that we are no closer now to a consensus reality than we were before, even with the advent of the internet.  Religious and philosophical divisiveness, ego aggrandizement, wealth accumulation, and personal and corporate power are still being celebrated and supported as ideals to pursue by our cultural power brokers, and these principles lead to further propagation of lies, misstatements, half-truths, and illusions.  All people who follow these ignoble paths have no true knowledge of their fundamental selves, nor would they possess this knowledge about the other people in their worlds, thus they have limited access to the truth, and their styles of communication reveal that ignorance.

Can truth and love be reduced to a series of binary decisions?  Where does our reliance on technology connect with a “search for truth”?  Search engines now serve you up what they think you are looking for. They know who you are, and more importantly, what your online consumer preferences are. They know how you are looking for things, as well as how you search for news, companies, products, etc. Plus, they know the zip code and the local geography where each user is located. Search engines are getting better and smarter at knowing YOU, as well as what’s new, and old, in your micro-locale every day. A quick type into Google, and you are being fed more information, and the foundation for  yet another illusion, with just another photograph of or written interpretation of a past that never was true.  Do you think for one moment that truth, or love, can be reduced to a string of “1’s” and “0”s” (machine code for programming of computer hardware) or ascii characters (The result of “I Love You” on hexadecimal notation based on ascii code is : 49204C6F766520596F75).  These characters give you a real warm, fuzzy feeling, don’t they?

Many types of “knowledge” actually breed division and separation between human beings. It is easy to tell the difference between the ministers, politicians, teachers, teachings, and knowledge just by feeling within our own inner chambers of consciousness how their message impacts our hearts. Eventually the presenters of knowledge and the highest learned “truths” of the day will be ignored, if they are not able to break through the psychic/spiritual barrier between the mind and the heart, while still presenting, or preaching, to others their message. Did they just bring more information, which we tend to daily saturate our awareness with anyway (Google it!), or did they bring the intellect coupled with the heart awareness, where we can experience the promised fruits of deeper connections with all of creation, and, perhaps, experience an increased measure of peace of mind and more love brought into our world?

The control of information is something the elite always does, particularly in a despotic form of government. Information, knowledge, is power. If you can control information, you can control people.

—Tom Clancy

Understanding what we now consider to be sources for knowledge is all important, as well. With the idea of “FAKE NEWS” being so casually tossed about these days, it is important to keep in mind that “FAKE NEWS” has always been with us. It can be traced all of the way back to the days when we first starting naming objects, and attaching emotional linkages to our observations. Everybody sees things somewhat differently, though similarities outweigh differences by super-substantial amounts. But the human mind tends to focus on the differences, and, thus, temporarily accentuate those divisions while examining the objects of its reality, reassembling the new information into its own unique information matrix known as our personalities.

To the more technically inclined, it takes more than cleaning cookies or turning off personalized searches in Google’s browser, Chrome, to get to the “truth.” Keep in mind that most of the search algorithms are Capitalist Oriented Male Biased (COMB) computer coding exercises that sort and order the “objects of reality” based on that slanted mind-set.  The locations that a person visits and lives in reveal a great deal about them, especially if it is linked to a GPS position calculated by using one’s own phone position.  By shaping the menus and the choices that we pick from, and by observing the collective internet purchases and behaviors of our geographic peers, technology then attempts to hijack the way we perceive our choices and replaces them with new ones that the ad purchasing merchants may be promoting. But the closer we pay attention to the options we’re given, the more we’ll notice when they don’t actually align with our true needs. Their surreptitious collection and use in ad targeting can pave way to ads that are harmful, target people when they are vulnerable, or enable harassment and discrimination.  The issue of privacy can become particularly acute when there’s the presumption or wish for confidentiality – say, during a therapist visit or at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

I see COMB-overs as having run their course, with the  need to be balanced with a more feminine, humane perspective.  If we all want that biased mindset, then we will continue to trust and rely upon Google, and most other search engines, for the ordering of our reality. It should be more than a little concerning to know that many of the same values that our President touts as his own are built right into these algorithmic formulas.

Within myself, it is quite enlightening to note that when I attempt to interpret situations solely in terms of a potentially divisive philosophy/understanding, I usually now rebel out of my newer/refreshed understanding of life, and continue on and listen more deeply for the real truth of the moment, (AND NOT THE POTENTIALLY WORN OUT TRUTH OF YESTERDAY). All of those divisive philosophies that pit “me versus you” or “us versus them” will bring fewer positive results than the uniting philosophies that bring people together in the spirit of cooperation and caring. Yet it almost seems like the divisive ideas are for many, and for me, by instinct, first in line for consideration, so it is important to not act out of impulse. Yes, it is being mindful to wait out that first racing train of sometimes fearful, angry or hurtful thought, and just watch it as it passes through the screen of awareness, and wait for another peaceful train of loving thought that may lie underneath all of the other noise.

The goal might be to make “love” the leading, or first, thought considered, but in my reality, it does not always automatically arise, nor should it, just because I think that it is a good idea. It is important to note here that ideas that initially appear to be counter to our prevailing philosophy may have legitimate origins, and discovery and exploration of the mind and our individual experience of it should continue without fear and self-judgement, as we attempt to discern the “truths” being communicated. If our “prevailing philosophies” are not subject to change, then we risk excess friction in all of our relationships, especially as we slip further and further away from the new, upgraded truth trying to be revealed.

Mindfulness, insight, and meditation help to create a more stable foundation for thought, feeling, and action. Remaining socially connected through real life interaction, vs predominantly through media devices, keeps the heart and mind refreshed and engaged holistically. Giving and receiving “presence” to each other has much more value than the mere information that might be exchanged. For us to continue to trust in technology solely for our heart connection is like only eating popcorn for our diet; Satisfying in the short-term, and deadly in the long run.  We need to feed each other new ideas and words from the deep storehouses within  each of our hearts, where intuition, empathy, compassion, and healing all arise from.  To continue to be fed only from the internet, is to continue our connection with cultural hypnotism, which leads in its own self-defeating directions.

Of course, once “new ideas” become integrated, they can be just as resistant to change as old, damaged, worn out thoughts, and the new synthesis will require continuous further revision until some sort of all-encompassing philosophical unity arises (or God-consciousness, for those who like to tie spirituality and religion together).

The “unknown” is the opening in our mind and heart that God (change to higher power, or whatever represents love, beauty, and healing to you) speaks through, so that we can find the truth and spirit of this new moment. Do not fear the unknown, as it can be so much more than we could ever anticipate or imagine.

Even after our most sincere and deepest “prayers”, there still must be an opening created within our minds where we can listen and watch, without fear or judgement, for the “answer”, which is always provided, and rarely understood. An overactive mind runs over the quiet truth that is revealed in each moment, so take off those mental workout clothes, and take a breather!

We will never change “God’s mind”, but we just might change our own, and, in that change, the real miracle of life can be revealed, and our lives healed and renewed.  The “One Mind Of God” can only be experienced in each new moment, in the ever-unfolding unknown and unknowable moment that is now.   This unique new moment can only reveal itself to a mind no longer burdened only with its own knowledge, or the knowledge of others’ endeavors.

Love’s Reunion (excerpt)

I stumbled over the frozen wilderness for oh, so long!

With a hole in my heart that life could just not fill

Until I stopped to rest, and heard a gentle voice singing a long forgotten song

That promised of my release from this winter world of painful chill

Her lyrics spoke of the return of Life to freedom

And the release of shivering minds from darkness’ frozen, fearful hands

She drew me closer without any further verbal tethers

And prepared me for the walk back to Love’s now awakening lands

Her warming presence melted the icy hardness that I used to know

Inspiring within me the courage, to myself and my world, to say

That, to all of my past memories’ barren trees of lifeless knowledge, I now refuse to go

I will now accept only the lessons learned along Love’s Infinite Way

Our answers to some of life’s greatest questions are never to be considered sacred, or unchangeable, in and of themselves.  What is sacred is the “don’t know” space that we all can enter into, if we can suspend our need to be always right.  We don’t need a lot of new answers, we need a lot more good questions, which can direct our inquiries in new directions, and, thus, create new paths of consciousness and awareness.

Virtually all relationships and all interactions with others have a teaching built right into them.  We confirm our present reality with the interactions, or we entertain new information that needs synthesizing within our present day psychological sets to create a modified reality.  Teachers come in an almost infinite variety of forms, but I will now  mention spiritual healers and teachers, for they tend to attract the most vulnerable and receptive of all learners.  I have met quite a few healers, ministers, teachers, and the leaders for those on “the spiritual path”.  Most have the best of intentions, and their heart is in the right place, and permeated with the desire to be of greater service to humanity, and to their own spiritual evolution.

Some are quite the planners, are amazingly studious, and read everything  available to support their knowledge, or need for knowledge, in areas revolving around the main concerns in life, or in their teaching arenas. Some develop quite the rigid understanding of the facts, and, in fact, the “facts” became almost idols, of which became trusted, almost at the exclusion of any other teaching, or learning, that those around might try to impart, either unintentionally, or through a need to help to see more clearly. Some show  little or no sense of humor, and are devoid of all capacity to embrace the “unknown” or the present moment, as it tries to present itself every moment of our existence.

I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do. In this trifling particular, then, I appear to be wiser than he, because I do not fancy I know what I do not know.—–Socrates (in Plato’s Apology)

I have met one or two information “control freaks”, and their quest for knowledge had the unconscious intention to keep them in control, and to establish themselves as a teacher, so as to keep their own fears of insufficiency and inadequacy at bay in group settings. They might tend to dominate group discussions with them taking the lead role, where they would unconsciously parade themselves, and all of their self-knowledge, in front of their adoring masses, or, at least they had hoped that they were adoring.  Some want so much to be like their mentors, who they may have patterned themselves after.

Their self-righteousness is continuously displayed, as they travel from one topic to another, always showing to the world how perfect their relationship was to any issue revolving around love, healing, medical issues, social responsibility, or ecological awareness. Perfectionism and unintentional self-worship were characteristics that define them, and are traits that are immediately recognizable by me and others, who were not also participating in the parade of self.

They can be the type of person, had the Christ been before them and teaching from the Truth, they would have grabbed their phone, and Googled information to prove that their own head knowledge trumped what was being presented in the moment by Truth itself. Some of our leaders have, in a term that I coined, “spiritual dementia”. They tend to think that every moment needed to be covered by their (mis)understanding of the facts.  They may not request or appreciate feedback, and many listeners, rather than confronting the teachers about their quirks, and  their need to always be right, go along.with the show, and acquiesce to the needs of the teachers.

I sat through literally, hundreds of groups, with many types of teachers and leaders over the years.  If the speaker, teacher, or leader does not capture the energy of the moment, the listeners will become fatigued, and lose interest.  There is also a temptation to just sit back, and offer up an occasional barbed remark (typical passive/aggressive communication style for me), without adding much to the flow of the group energy.   I did not come into this world just to “bow down before excellence”, in whatever form it might appear in, though that is the implied need expressed through many teachers’ outward behavior.  Without an interactive approach, the teacher or teaching will have a more difficult time keeping the listener engaged.

Why would I withhold myself, and my truth, from situations that should have demanded my participation in it? Why would I withhold my own assessments of what is real, and true, and right, in the face of this assault upon my own sensibilities? Why would I devalue myself, and my own truth, so much that I would carry the perception that “I have nothing to say”, or that “nobody would ever listen to me because I do not have a college degree, or I am not a therapist or respected spiritual advisor”? Why do I sometimes unconsciously believe that nobody would ever listen to what I have to say, anyway?

It has taken me nearly sixty years to become willing to speak my truth to the living human representatives of our collective consciousness.  I was never insightful enough to fully recognize that the world that I was adopting, and adapting to, as a child was an inaccurate representation of a more fundamental truth.  But like many other children, I rebelled at the fake news and pseudo-science that churned out of the religious mills and minds of Americans.  I took a very passive/aggressive approach to the spiritual lie that we as Americans are living.  The pain of the lies that I cultivated prior to any spiritual recovery necessitated that I medicate myself out of the pain of separation and loneliness.  I no longer punish myself by negating my own self worth, yet our culture continues to unconsciously spawn millions of suffering people who also question their own value, which is the origin of insanity.  Our cultural spiritual dementia needed to be challenged, lest I lapse into deeper degrees of anxiousness, powerlessness, and unreality. Confronting a difficult reality takes more energy than most of us care to bring to the table, yet, not doing so diminishes our own standing in Truth, Life, and Love, and that has been my experience

What do emotionally and spiritually disfigured teachers and leaders represent to me on the inner plane of my consciousness, where the human collective archetypes reside? They might be the Dark King or Queen, and Trickster, and/or a number of other “lesser gods”. They might represent the unyielding rational brain, devoid of Spirit’s soft, embracing touch. They may have no room for anything unlike themselves in their kingdom, and the stick figures in their dream of world domination could never be filled out with their true essence, because they may have no time or inclination for that. Their Trickster mind misrepresented trust and openness to the Unknown as something to fear, and cover up its Nakedness with second-hand, worn out rags of other people’s intellects and misunderstandings. They might be like the King in the parable of the “Emperors’ New Clothes”, parading their misunderstandings of life around for all to see and worship, all the while fearing that an innocent boy would call  them out.

i had very poor training since birth in how to successfully navigate group energy, up to, and including, the whole of society that we all participate in. As a boy, when family discussions turned into arguments, many times I found myself either raising my voice against the angry voice of my father, or retreating into submission and fear at the threat of being attacked for being contrary to the flow. And, I internalized that I was probably wrong anyway, and would be punished if I stepped out and asserted myself too much. I learned that I could undertake less obvious means of rebelling against authority, sometimes through indirect, or obvious, self, or other, destructive behavior.

Passive/aggressive tendencies have haunted me most of my entire life, and becoming “self-aware” has gone a long way to keep me from employing those unskilled coping mechanisms unconsciously, though I am still occasionally haunted by their presence. Having undertaken the inner work of insight, and maintaining mindfulness, and identified those sources of suffering within myself, does not instantaneously remove all of the darkness within. But is also does not remove from me the responsibility to call out those who are the external agents of oppression and repression, no matter how much I might love them or want to protect them, or even to protect myself from the ramifications of asserting what is right, true, or proper in any situation.

Knowledge is power only if man knows what facts not to bother with.

—Robert Staughton Lynd

Why Facebook, and what knowledge can be derived from that online forum?  With the outrage over Fake News, and Russian interference in our elections, plus fake people, fake news, trolls and viruses being planted on Facebook, one can see that searching for real information on Facebook can be a daunting challenge, until one learns how and where to look for the truth.

It all started rather subtly when people began to substitute email connections and the photographic attachments to them for much of their real life social involvement. It was such a natural progression from email communications to Facebook and all other present day online media forums.

How many people on our own email list do we really care to hear from, or would actually give a phone call to, or visit with when we happen to pass by their part of the world? Do we come to Facebook just to be entertained, and perhaps educated? Do we come here to “check up” on our friends and family? Does Facebook continue to exist to serve as only a temporary bandage over the open wounds of a rampant social disconnect that our cultural, religious, and political processes exaggerate?

Why would anybody rely solely on emails, Facebook, or other online connections for life affirming connections, of which, inherently, THEY HAVE NO POWER TO GIVE? Is it the fear of missing out? Are we so busy that there is no longer enough time for committing to important relationships? Is there now an indifference to the value of old friends, acquaintances, and certain members of our families? Is the phone really the heaviest object in the universe, especially if we are “male”? Is that car drive to the other side of town to see a friend or acquaintance the same as a drive across the country?

Who knows for sure, as everybody has a unique answer, but remaining true to our own basic social and spiritual values while utilizing Facebook is an imperative. I was “duped” into using the Facebook forum, of which I had no interest in, as it was offered by our daughter-in-law as the only way to see photographs of our grandsons while they were growing up, beginning in 2011. She had cut us off from their lives, due to her own emotionally dysfunctional behavior, and we had to settle for the “scraps of information” offered by her through Facebook postings. It sure was a “bait and switch” proposition, as she, and Brad, quickly reduced their postings. I did not have a lot of interest in Facebook for the first several years, and did not learn the ropes until about 2014, after watching others’ posts over the intervening years.

With many of my friends having passed away, or left my inner sphere of connection due to the neglect brought about by enhanced care and time spent with my aging (and now deceased) parents, I no longer have of lot of my previous social interconnections anymore. But, I do not rely on Facebook for any “social” connections, nor do I rely upon emails exclusively. Those pseudo-connections are primarily reserved for those who have little time for or have expressed little interest in me or my life anymore, or vice versa. The dopamine rush from a Facebook like or love does not suffice for true sharing and mutual compassion and understanding.

These vehicles exist for many reasons, but a very important one is so that we can continue to express or write to ourselves, and somehow find a measure of satisfaction with our sometimes incomplete socializing efforts, no matter how isolated we may or may not truly be, and/or regardless of the people we may have presently surrounded our lives with. The thoughts around these issues can be rather troubling, and disheartening, regarding this technology, and the illusion of connection that it provides.

I choose to continue to use Facebook as a tool. It is NOT a crutch, or a substitute for real human companionship, connection, and communication. It remains a forum for exchange, regardless of who, or what, profits from our use of it. What do I give to the exchange? What do I receive from the exchange? If the balance tips in my favor in the long run, then it will continue to remain a tool to utilize, as I reach for my own unique goals for personal expression and creativity, or for connecting or reconnecting with long neglected or ignored family members and acquaintances. Like all things in life, if I approach Facebook consciously and with wisdom, my returns will be commensurate with my investment.

If I used Facebook for the sole intent to just get likes, or to have others ask to “friend” me, I would have been quite the unhappy fellow, for sure. Few people in my “Facebook world” have a lot of time or interest in my musings. I am not hurt or offended by that at all. I realize my own insignificance, and, at times, social irrelevance, and it keeps me humble and willing to explore deeper within my own mind and heart. I am not writing to please anybody. My own uniqueness demands expression, even though there may appear to be nobody “out there” who cares to listen, or “likes” what I have to say or do. I have had many more “unfriended” and “no longer follow” experiences with Facebook “friends” than I have had new connections the last three years, so this forum is dying in many ways for me.

Some of my best work in life has been what life (especially on Facebook) has overlooked or ignored the most, which is the way of my world. If I just wanted to be noticed and “liked”, I would just post pictures of my cat, my grandchildren, or of my vacations. As a long-term practitioner of mindfulness and personal inventory, and an expert in Recovery, Toxic Masculinity, Toxic Religion, and Toxic Capitalism, I have a lot of insight into why the world spins the awkward way it now does. And I will write about it, much to the disinterest and annoyance from some Facebook readers. The “silent treatment” that I receive from Facebook now is quite deafening, so I know that the target audience for my writing remains very close to home. But, for the one or two stray readers who wander by, I usually try to remember to get those kitty pictures and vacation photographs posted to balance the whole Facebook equation for me, and to keep my personal page from becoming perpetually serious..

The greatest challenges in life come through following, or creating, new paths of consciousness, rather than retracing the same steps that the so-called important members of society have already created for us. The ruts of society, if traveled upon too frequently by others, become deep enough to form graves for the unwary. Following others carries the risk of losing one’s own uniqueness, so we must strike out on our own, and create the conditions for own creative and spiritual “salvation”.

Please, don’t just “like” this post (or be “angry” with it). Try something “new” today, like having a dialogue directly with family and friends, and talking with a stranger or two whenever appropriate. Take out that diary or personal journal, and make new entries into it each day for one month, if even only to note the change in the weather forecast. We all long for real connection with our Spirit, both within ourselves and within our friends and neighbors, regardless of any outward appearances to the contrary.

Be a “friend” to yourself. “Like” yourself, and Love will lead the way into your own unique “promised land”. Even though, at times, I may be alone, I am never lonely, for I have found the “fellowship of the Spirit”.

That is where I now try to hang out.

This can be good food for thought, if only for me alone. I keep myself very well fed, thank you very much, in between my moments of most sacred silence. Which will lead into yet another future Facebook monologue, to be read by one or two of my most treasured of friends, or by nobody at all.

We need better brains to manage the deluge of information we consume on the internet, on social media, on our smartphones today — as well as the new technologies we’ll surely encounter tomorrow. We need to elevate the maturity of our collective consciousness in order to thrive in this new environment.

This calls for something big: coordinated effort by major actors, from the White House and the National Institutes of Health to the United Nations and the power brokers at Davos. Indeed, addressing the cognition crisis should be positioned as a grand challenge, on par with other pressing global priorities, such as eradicating infectious diseases and disseminating clean water.

We have all been victimized by the cultural and familial conditioning of the information processing centers of the brain that cause certain streams of awareness to be represented by erroneous concepts, or attenuated or terminated prematurely by fear before any reasonable assessments can even be made. Our cultural “headlights” for looking into ourselves have had much of their light blocked by years of unacknowledged road debris accumulating on the lens. Yet, we first have to “see” that there is a blockage, as it will not clear on its own. Our own internal “seeing” can ultimately liberate us from the erroneous views foisted upon our innocent hearts and souls by the well meaning but often times ignorant teachers of our pasts, and those who may not have yet cleared up their own internal lenses of perception. But we each must look, acknowledge what appears to be there, share our perceptions with others, learn from each other, and thus create more accurate, updated knowledge.

“Know thyself, and thou will know God, and the Universe” ——Attributed to Pythagoras, and the Oracle at Delphi

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it”——–Aristotle

The final two quotes sets the stage behind the eternal tension between what is truth and what is falsehood, and the spiritual requirement not to create and worship idols, physical or verbal. They also point to the supporting conditions behind one’s potential for spiritual evolution and final ascendancy out of false knowledge and the suffering that results from entertaining such thoughts..

Life is always a self-fulfilling prophecy, yet whose self are we fulfilling?

What if your life is fulfilling the prophecies of your religion and culture, rather than that of your true self?

While unenlightened forces dominate human consciousness, oppression and repression are born, and nurtured.

This creates more damaged human beings, who continue to remain unconscious, and thus overpopulate this planet.

The fate of these damaged people is to continue to damage themselves, each other, and the very planet that supports and sustains them, until they find their self and its truth.

Find the self, and the life that has a great future, and discard the one that will die with our rotting civilization.

Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I see a great future for our planet, if enough of us break free from the effects of the collective oppression by others and, ultimately, the repression of our Spirit. If enough of us find the only self that can be free, collective liberation becomes more of a possibility.

What on Earth is humanity waiting for?

This moment, I am free.

Troubleshooting and Repairing A Broken Mind

Three methods by which we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; And third, by experience, which is bitterest. ——Confucious

All historical and personal writings are epitaphs, symbolic memorials to times that are dead or never existed in the first place. Such is the nature of the individual’s sense of self, prior to the resurrection gained through awakening or enlightenment. —-Bruce Paullin

Whenever we drive by a junkyard, we may witness hundreds of carcasses of old, worn out or collision damaged vehicles. When we witness the fallen warriors of the road, do we ever consider what might have been, had each automobile had a more skilled driver, or a more loving and respectful owner? What if the vehicle started with only the need for minor maintenance, and because of the neglect over time, the engine failed? What about the driver who just did not pay attention to the rules of the road, and ran a red light and totaled his car by crashing into others in an intersection? Or, what about the unfortunate driver and his vehicle which ran off of the road in the middle of the night and hit a tree? How about our own vehicles, are we passionate about keeping them running properly, and obeying the rules of the road so as to keep our own vehicles’ condition optimal while making life’s journey safer for all?

Can we get more excited about our own life than we do about our cars? What gets us all fired up, what is our life’s work, and does our own internal engines continue to run strong and efficient for us? Are we too tired to face the difficult truth about our own life, or the life that we share with the rest of humanity? If our ignition switch is on, but the gas tank is empty, our minds will not accelerate into the fullness of spiritual awareness. The point of this chapter is to pump spiritual fuel into the collective gas tank of mankind. Our spiritual engines run most efficiently when they can run in harmony with others, and we can all enjoy the roads of life together happily and with purpose… My human body, or “vehicle of consciousness” was once parked in humanity’s spiritual equivalent of a junkyard, with no hope for a renewal of life. And, I had a lot of company in that collective pile of wreckage, as well, with many people that you know seemingly permanently parked there with me. Had I not been introduced to my internal mechanic of the spirit, I would have died in 1986 due to suicidal despair, I am now passionate about sharing both what I learned on the pothole filled road to life’s junkyard, as well as what I am now learning on the roadways to healthier, happier spirit inspired life experiences.

At all of the intersections of the roadways of life, between the “I” streets and “you” streets, is the source for most of our greatest joys in life, as well as for our greatest sorrows. These intersections with life are where we learn through relationships with each other, and develop our own unique sense of wisdom, and what is right, proper, loving, and helpful for us and for those we care about. We are not born with wisdom, nor are we all born with the predispositions towards having great personalities, and the consistent experiencing of happiness, joy, popularity and success as human beings. Those who are able to develop a healthy measure of good self-esteem, loving relationships with others, and success within the popular culture tend to be valued as neighbors, friends, and teachers and examples to follow. Common knowledge paradigms offered by our society’s laws, spiritual traditions, and religions, and automatically adopted by most citizens tends to keep us from constantly colliding with each others’ vehicles of consciousness, especially for those whose loving connection with all of life, and innate, intuitive abilities have not yet been fully developed. Collisions are inevitable, and, cumulatively, can become quite painful, and appear as the source of human suffering and the enhanced potential for bodily disease and dysfunction.

In the absolute, if the real relationship between “I” and “you” and the planet Earth which sustains us can first be discerned, then the individual has found the functional area within consciousness where the potential for the greatest positive, life affirming changes in life can be made. The ground of consciousness where this insight arises from has been called “our original nature”, the “Garden Of Eden”, and even “Aladdin’s Lamp”, and is philosophically considered to be the foundation for or pointing to the nature of our original being. The natural desires for peace, beauty, and for security in society and in life, and for happiness in relationships and one’s sexuality are mental vibrations coming from our “original nature”, and need not come into conflict with others’ expectations, once necessary adjustments have been made to the courses that one’s own mind tends to drive along. It remains important not to angrily take a blow torch to our internal driver’s manual and destroy it because of its errors, but instead to apply more sensitive, loving tools of exploration, such as the equivalents of a jeweler’s screw driver, and learn how to fine tune our sophisticated mental hardware and software..

To repair a broken system, we first have to realize that the system is not functioning properly, or according to the original designer’s intention. In that recognition, there must be an awareness of what “properly” means, and how the system was designed to be operated. It is of primary importance to understand the context whereby we try to understand the healthy state and differentiate it from the “unhealthy” state. When it comes to mechanical equipment presently in use, there are designs and schematics available to help in the understanding of the functional relationships between all of the components of the system. And, there are suggested maintenance schedules for susceptible components or systems, so as to extend the functional life of all equipment.

Yet what about human beings and the minds and understanding that we cultivate to help us in our journeys through life? Are there schematics and designs available to reference as we attempt to bring positive change to our own unique systems? What speculation are we referencing when we attempt to understand the “original designer’s intention”? In the absence of direct evidence for a spiritual foundation to our existence, are we just mechanical systems subject to the same principles of operation, friction damage, reduced functionality and excess wear from aging, and obsolescence as our automobiles or home plumbing or electrical systems? What does it mean to accept as a function of faith or belief that there is an optimal state of being we can achieve or return back to, if we follow the right path? How does one make a change within an infinitely complex, dynamic system of energy, without introducing more uncertainties and imbalances?

When we look at the human life and all of its complexities, with our history, our genetics, our bodies, and our minds, we can easily feel powerless and become overwhelmed by the potentially daunting prospect of bringing repair to ourselves. To what state are we attempting to return ourselves to, if our past shows that we have never appeared to be healthy, loving, and successful? If we have recognized that repair is necessary, that is the beginning to the process of healing. But, tragically, the beginning of internal recognition of a problem becomes the end point for discovery and change for far too many suffering human beings. If the suffering person refuses to open new doors to alternative realities with healthier possibilities for being, then that resistance becomes yet another log thrown onto the fires of despair and heartbreak.

We are not given complete tool packages at birth or while we are growing up for troubleshooting and repairing our lives, should they become damaged and broken. There are a lot of opinions in the book store or in common knowledge aphorisms for “self-help”, many of which are contradictory to each other. There are many paths to healing pointed to by the world’s religions, psychologists, sociologists, politicians, shamans, mystics, and twelve-step recovery groups, and these facilitators for healing have brought great benefit to much of our world, though they may also appear to be conflicted and contradictory to each other, as well.

If we are “Christians”, their theologians try to tell us that we all suffer from “original sin”, and that Jesus’s life was sacrificed to God to collectively atone for our “sins” or brokenness. Jesus is offered up as the “Son of God” and perfection incarnate, and thus somebody to imitate or to ask questions of or talk to through prayer or wishful thinking. But, through believing in the power of Jesus and/or some sort of magic or the “mystery of Grace”, we can be born again into another possibility for existence. If we can be “resurrected” or “reborn”, our burdens won’t destroy us, but through our new spiritual empowerment we can continue to “carry our own crosses” and persevere and prove the power of our “saving Grace” and overcome more of life’s challenges, unlike those who are bereft of such spirit.

One of the catch phrases is to ask “what would Jesus do?”, and then try to adjust our behavior by imitating what others have said about Jesus and his historical activities, and thus acting accordingly. This beginner’s level question is a form of mindfulness, yet it can direct the unconscious person into more imitative and socially conforming behavior, while not necessarily imparting the necessary insight and wisdom to find true freedom. If we don’t buy the roadmap that Christianity provides for its adherents, our brokenness will not respond positively to the path that this dogma indicates is appropriate for healing..

If we are involved in a twelve step recovery program, we are given community support through group meetings, where we can listen to others’ experiences of nearly drowning in the bitter rivers of life, and, hopefully, their emergence, or intent to emerge, from its heartbreaking currents. The intention always remains to overcome self-destructive and self-defeating behaviors, and their negative impacts upon others. We are given twelve steps to try to understand our problems and how our errant fears and desires caused them, apply our new insight, and thus enhance our spiritual awareness leading to our continued evolution and healing over an indeterminate period of time.. The fundamental idea behind spiritual healing is that we are spiritual beings having a troubled human experience. By providing techniques for enhanced spiritual awareness, we can reduce the pain of a problematic human condition, and enhance joy by recognizing and overcoming fear and inappropriate desire that has diverted our attention away from our spiritual growth potential. The obvious implication is that through spiritual awakening, we are spiritually empowered to manage virtually all of life, and overcome our self-destructive and other-destructive tendencies when faced with stress and disease.

There is a similarity between the foundational principles behind the twelve steps and aspects of the philosophy within Christianity. it is by design and intention that the twelve steps are morally consistent with Christianity as has been practiced by its sincere adherents. God, or higher power, has a decidedly masculine or patriarchal flavor, and the twelve steps literally arose from a reinterpretation of Christian religious understanding, by reducing the ancient teaching into easy to apply steps for “moral reformation”. Jesus’s name is removed from the steps, substituted by other names such as “higher power” or “God”, or “He”. In effect, the Twelve Steps is a condensed form of Christianity without the name of Jesus confusing those who seek generic or agnostic healing versus Christian religious healing.

The Buddhists come at the problem of the human condition from a unique perspective, yet the philosophy also establishes the primacy of human suffering, and all of the questionable desires that entraps mankind and forces it to continue in less than noble pursuits. Buddhists have lots of differing beliefs and practices, but there are a few shared principles; these are the fundamental discoveries the Buddha made. Thich Nhat Hanh describes them this way: impermanence, (everything is always changing), no self (nothing has a solid core or soul), and nirvana (peace is freedom from fixed concepts). These are known as the “three marks of existence.”

By exposing the blocks to the awareness of the “Buddha mind”, the follower learns to watch their thoughts and actions, and “see” from which source their experience is to arise from. Through following the path the Buddha has set, which all have access to through insight, meditation, and mindfulness, the follower can find bliss, healing, and their own basic, noble nature. The Buddhist practitioner sees that his own sense of self, with its fears and attachments, is the source of all problems, and in the release from self is the transformation into an enlightened experience where a higher potential for life can be experienced and lived. There may be “reincarnation” after death of the body, but there is not a “heaven” in an afterlife to chase after, as the whole point of this pursuit is to reveal the good that life can be right NOW.

Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Shintoism, Sikhism, and other major religions supply a diversity of training and other avenues for enhancing spiritual experience in this world of form. They all try to address the reality of death, and what, if anything, happens with our life energy after death. They also exist to supply mankind theories about our original design, and about our potential for wisdom, love and compassion. They all supply their unique approaches to healing and their hope for mankind’s final transcendence over fear, hatred and unreasonable desire.

When affirming a truth, or practicing 3, 5, 7, or 12 steps to achieve a goal, or change a behavior, these practices initially occur within a time limited, corrupted environment for awareness, and in the first stages of our spiritual unfoldment we are only changing the furniture around within our unique prison cells. As is said in twelve step recovery groups, “we must fake it until we make it”. In the initial stages of change, only the potential or possibilities for change exist in our minds,. Even though we might be aware of what changes others have experienced, we really don’t know where we are headed, but we hope for something better. We can affirm the truth all we want, but if the conditions for the birth and nurturing of dysfunction have not been altered, then we are only treating symptoms, and not causes, and the cycle of fix and failure may continue. Until the hope for, and then the experience of, change becomes our “higher power” we will not begin to wake up from our dullness of mind and spirit..

Have you ever painted a house right before it was to be demolished and rebuilt? Have you ever put new tires onto a car whose engine is near failure, and that may need to be junked out? Would you “put lipstick on a pig” ? (Remember, pigs are not inherently ugly, especially if another pig is making the assessment). Have you ever put new wine into old wine skins, to use an ancient expression? People, and writers, who promise you a “quick fix” are road signs along the way to healing, yet they are not the destination. Quick fix artists can become part of the problem, for they make promises in the world of effect. We must reach back into the source or cause for our lives, which is our consciousness. This is where the real roots to our problems exists as well the opportunities for making lasting changes to self through healing and growth.

Over the past many years, the countless people who have pointed out the ills of society, and/or of the powerful individuals within that society, are rarely held in high esteem by others unwilling or incapable of making a similar sort of statement. Those making accusations against the integrity of the society are advised to try to fit in better, and to just blend in. But those who keep giving unwelcome feedback to the world can end up being pilloried, imprisoned in jails, having their homes firebombed, their reputations impugned in the newspapers (or now, on Facebook or other media forums), or judged against, ignored or shunned. That is similar to the fate of many “prophets” over the preceding thousands of years, who were often regarded as insane, as well.

I have no problem pointing out the ills of society, or the ills of the unconscious, sick people within that society that stubbornly hold onto worn out ideas for how to live.  When I witness the injustice, inequality, and diseases of the minds of those entrenched people in positions of power and influence, I get really warmed up. My internal fire burns hot, and brightly, and will not be put out until my life’s work has been completed. I no longer have any problem speaking truth to power, in whatever form that “power” may now appear, including some of the “enlightened” among us.  If we as a culture, and me as an individual, don’t speak out, and affirm to ourselves, and to others, what the truth really is to us, then eventually the hypnosis and propaganda of others may become our own collective reality, and continue to overtly influence our personal integrity, community relationships and overall spirituality. We all must become maintenance mechanics for our personal vehicles of consciousness, and learn how to troubleshoot and bring repairs to our damaged or broken systems of human understanding.

Mankind has reached the stage of evolution and relative stability whereby the capacity for contribution to the human race’s evolution by “co-creating with God” is an expanding reality for the present, and future generations of mankind. Science continues to show the way, exploring, then defining, new methodologies for tuning up humanity’s genetic code for better health and higher intelligence. Science has discovered that the introduction of human stem cells into a diseased human body gives our medical profession the capability to return life and function to dying or diseased aspects of the human body, as well. Technology now provides to each human citizen the capacity to receive information at the speed of light, and access it anywhere on our planet by their own hand-held phone.. Science and technology continues to improve artificial intelligence and robotics, to assist mankind in its search for higher levels of efficiency and productivity as we manage planetary resources to be utilized for the betterment of humanity. And, some billionaires, and elements within certain computer chip development research departments, are studying potential methods for transferring or merging human consciousness with a new generation of computers, such as the newer quantum computers presently being developed. Science now considers immortality a possibility through the merging of our soul with our technology.

It is fair to assert than the possibilities for science and technology are infinite, and have the potential to ultimately work directly in tandem with the concept of “God” whose creative and healing potential once solely dominated mankind’s expression of hope and faith for its continuing prosperity and survival. Due to global warming, as well as diminishing resources, a new world order is coming into view. It is now strongly encouraged by reputable scientific experts that all cultures, all nations, and all peoples come together into an agreement to reduce global carbon dioxide emissions, as well as protect rainforests and other natural resources so as to best serve the continuing health of the planet, and all of its diverse population, be it human, animal, insect, or plant. So, science is now a most important part of our collective global awareness, providing data and insight for better ways to co-exist, and co-create, with all life upon our sacred planet Earth.

Perhaps one of the most remarkable insights that science has brought to humanity is the theory, and actuality of the “observer effect”. In quantum physics, the observer effect is the unanticipated action that the act of observing a situation or phenomenon necessarily changes that phenomenon. This is often the result of instruments that, by necessity, alter the state of what they measure in some manner. The most famous example of this is the experiment of trying to determine whether a photon is a wave or a particle. When a quantum “observer” is watching, quantum mechanics states that particles can also behave as waves. In other words, when under observation, electrons are being “forced” to behave like particles and not like waves, if the observer expects to witness particles. Thus the mere act of human observation affects the outcome of any process being studied. This “observer effect” has been now extrapolated upon to include virtually all observable phenomenon, both on the quantum level, and on our plane of three-dimensional existence.

Evolutionary growth is the action of creative insight upon previous knowledge, with the intention for systemic improvement. The human mind is the most powerful instrument in human existence for observing phenomenon, and developing insight into its basic nature. And the human mind is the creator of the measuring instruments where quantum changes through observation have been witnessed, thus showing the actual origin for the “observer effect”.. And this is a most important support principle for the spiritual principle, and potential future hope for humanity, that “when mankind finally opens its mind far enough to see truly, all that we will ever see, unto eternity is our self”. In mankind’s search for truth, it is of ultimate importance to note that the person seeking the truth may only find projections of expectations, unless the mind is first cleansed of its hopes, expectations, and perceptions from the past. The logical corollary to this is if mankind does not consciously and carefully observe itself, it CANNOT BRING CHANGE TO ITSELF.

It is important to mention that the observer must find a place of peace and quiet within the mind to make as accurate of observations as is possible. A mind burdened by fear, haste, anger, or despair is incapable of dissecting the complexities of the human experience, and is prone to projecting its own misperceptions unto the phenomenon under observation. In the case of our shared human experience, humanity is a diverse, though fragmented and broken, expression of human consciousness. If the damaged or unhealed aspects of society are being observed, with the hope for change, by damaged observers, only the projections of a damaged mind, with its damaged perspective, and resultant perceptions, will arise from the observer. In truth, our problems cannot be accurately witnessed from the level of the problem itself, and the damaged perceiver only adds new layers of incongruities to the issues being observed. A silent mind, characterized by love and compassion for that being witnessed, provides the optimum platform for observation for positive, healing change.

To observe the world clearly today is to note that humankind, through its unconscious patterns of ignoring its basic responsibility to and relationship with nature and the environment, has created dangerous, potentially lethal conditions, which indeed threatens the survival not only of 1000’s of species of animals, insects, and plants, but humanity itself. Modern world society is an amazingly diverse blend of humanity, with its human populations assembled together into unique blocks of cultural, geographic, and, in some cases, spiritual identities. .Yet, with the shared threat against all of humanity from the effects of global warming, the entire planet is coming together, regardless of their differences, to work towards planetary salvation. We need not either fight or run away and hide from each other, if we can keep the channels open to dialogue between all impacted parties, and all work together towards implementing a world-wide solution to the threats against all of us. It is imperative that the blocks to change are examined by all of the human race, and the resistances to positive, healing change are addressed and ameliorated, both within all of the diverse regions of the world, as well as within their political ideologies and religious belief systems. Some religious communities are out of touch with the natural world and its problems, even disbelieving or disregarding reputable science, like the backward elements of American Christianity. These superstitious, ignorant supporters of their “faith” continue to support the wayward American president’s intentions to ignore the Paris climate agreement, and real world threats that global warming presents to all nations of planet Earth.

World society, collectively, spends millions of hours every year observing itself, and developing better ideas for ways to manage the human resources that it is comprised of. Society continues to work towards more efficient and equitable distribution of resources, to the extent that the most powerful of that culture, as well as the prevailing political agendas will allow such activity. Religion continues to work towards the “saving or redemption of the soul”, especially within the Judeo-Christian based philosophies, yet this body of thought spends insufficient time in introspection and examination of itself and its historical, collective beliefs in the ways and manners that modern society is forced to do.

There are many religious and spiritual traditions present in the world today, and I now again mention the practice of Buddhism as a reminder that there are other productive paths to the spiritual goals that humanity sets for itself. Most Buddhist traditions create lives that are characterized by the study of sacred texts, meditation, prayer, group rituals, and heightening self-awareness, especially of the limitations of the human mind and the false sense of self it creates for us. Buddhists embark on the path towards enlightenment, or enhancing the awareness of the life beyond the limitations of the human self. Buddhist practices have the intention and effect of eliminating most blocks to the revelation of man’s most fundamental, noble nature. Yet Buddhism, Christianity, or the rest of the religious beliefs, must remain aware of and give attention to the reality that is revealing itself RIGHT NOW. The present CANNOT clearly be intelligently looked at solely through a clouded lens from the distant past, and religion needs to work in close conjunction with the most recent developments that science and technology has revealed, or risk the continuing the loss of relevancy to all sincere seekers of truth.

Society and religion both play to humankind’s basic fear of chaos and death, and their need to find some sort of protection from that which is beyond their individual control.. Yet they also play to the needs to not only be part of a social group or network, but, for many, to feel connected to a greater vision for life and expressing it in a more loving, meaningful manner.. For the religiously inclined, there may even be an intense interest in the possibility for transcending death, or for the continuation of life beyond the grave in some sort of life in a “heavenly realm” or through the experience of reincarnation (but not through technology!). Both structures of human creation continue to exist to help facilitate the need for protection and care for oneself, one’s family, and all others within the group, while the individual’s within the group develop their own human potentials.. With this kind of stability, each member of the society is enabled to wrestle with the historical challenge of finding one’s own unique place in both the “civilized” world, as well as their place in the infinitely more mysterious, complex and vast, unexplored portions of our exterior, and interior, universe

There can be an enormous disconnect between becoming civilized and acculturated within any social group, and thus following the particular educational, political and religious path(s) sanctioned by that society, and that of sensing, addressing, and attempting to meet our own or our entire planet Earth’s evolving physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.. The “letter of the law” as stated by the Ten Commandments has a specific intention to keep the herd from self-destructing through trampling itself by the chaos created by “uncivilized” behavior. Yet, there are those who seek a higher law, or order, to bring to their lives and to the lives of all others, the order that their experience of the “love” that is revealed through the eruption of truth and healing within consciousness. For that “spiritual” desire or inclination to come to fruition within the supporting community, there must be at least the minimal adherence to the established order and laws by self and others within the community. Otherwise, the evolving person may face indifference, abuse, retribution, persecution, prosecution, excommunication and/or exile for not “fitting in” with the status quo…

Society has its need for order, and minimal chaos, and sets up its own rules and laws to help maintain stability. Religions also have their own understandings and agendas for establishing and maintaining order within their limited understanding of “God’s kingdom”, though in American society and Christian religion there are many commonalities and overlaps of intentions. The historical overlap of Hammurabi of Babylon’s law code of ethics (supposed channeled to Hammurabi from his culture’s God Shamash) and the Ten Commandments of the Jewish Torah or Christian bible (supposedly channeled through Moses from his understanding and connection with his culture’s God, Yahweh) of around five hundred years later is a fundamental case in point, and indicates that humanity has the capacity to share in a “common knowledge”, while not being required to share the same language..

There appears in history true “common knowledge” that binds people together in an understanding as to how to best behave to maintain social order in the community. The powerful “common knowledge game” (extensively developed in chapter 8) is practiced to extremes by both society and religion, keeping people thinking and acting in the same socially approved ruts or patterns of behavior. This can be for both an advantage and a disadvantage for all of us who must share in the collective consciousness. Virtually every member of a long-term community share in a “common knowledge”, and this shared information functions to make the community more self-regulating and more self-controlled. which typically serves best the interests of the status quo. A society just can’t have a policeman in every house, or on every corner, and “common knowledge” fulfills that function. Can you imagine the destructive potential of going for a drive in downtown Portland without the other drivers sharing the same understanding of the rules of the road as you do? The internal dialogue and control that the common knowledge game stimulates is quite similar in nature to Freud’s concept of the “super-ego” that is embedded within human psychology.

Some people within the community seem to naturally entertain a “spiritual and material prosperity consciousness”, and are less self-absorbed than average. They have somehow come to know that not only are they alive to serve their own needs, but to be of service to others in need, as well. These people may appear to be better aligned with the statement of 1 Corinthians 3:16. And, based on some interesting studies on human development, they may have had a happier gestation period in their mother’s womb, and/or more emotionally intelligent, conscious parenting during the first several years of childhood. For others, they may entertain a “scarcity consciousness”. Their nature, may also have been heavily influenced by a combination of conditioning of their minds beginning in their gestation period, and, potentially, for early exposure to both the damaging aspects of unconscious parental practices and to a damaged society.. The induced trauma may create a personality that is much more fear-based and “self-conscious” and may not be so inclined to be “service oriented”. They may be better aligned with the “natural man’ referred to in 1 Corinthians 2:14 of the Christian bible. The truth is that both energies are present in all human beings, in unique proportions.

In almost all human beings there exists the “fear of rejection”, which includes rejection by our own self, our families, our culture, our religion or, even, our concept of God, and we all develop our own unique mechanisms for dealing with that fear. There are the “IN” groups, which are usually for the few and the elite, and there are the “OUT” groups, which are for the many and the mediocre, when its comes to social bonding and the circles of relationships that are eventually created and maintained within a community. We tend to associate with like-minded people, and most of us participate in experiences from both grouping categories. How well we conform to expectations of others may determine which group, or on which tier within a group, we will be accepted.

A community member may be motivated to engage people with enhanced people-pleasing attitudes and behaviors thus suspending or hiding beliefs and behaviors that are not acceptable to the group while trying to fit in. There are many who actively engage in some passive/aggressive behavior that helps the individual appear to be conforming to group expectations, while being only grudgingly compliant and internally resistant and judgemental against the expectations and norms of others . This combination of factors may contribute to the development of many of the diseases of the bodies and minds of members of the community, including overeating and obesity, crime of all types, loneliness, suicide, and mental illnesses of all types such as depression, drug addiction and alcoholism.

We try to find security through others’ acceptance of us within a new community, or we maintain connection within a existing one by obeying the established rules for inclusion. Humanity resides on a spectrum of willingness to extend love to others through providing care and service for their fellow man, depending on the individual’s nature and/or family training. Society and religion tends to honor those who appear to care the most about others, or who have not only found a way to bring the most goods and resources to themselves, but who have also found a way to share their resources. Religion really likes the rich members of society who are either naturally philanthropic, or have eventually evolved into that understanding.. Through tithing, religion hopes to encourage those of more limited means, those on the other end of the prosperity spectrum, to share their resources for the common good of the community.

Sometimes, to be a successful member of society, it is acceptable and normal to take the “every man for himself” approach to life. A common refrain from this core group of humanity is that we all must “lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps”, or “save our own asses”. This philosophy of personal empowerment and “rugged individualism” is still alive and well in today’s fractured society. Many of those who are considered “conservative” in their thinking tend to track to this direction. Proponents of this way of thinking tend to reject the social agendas and government programs that serve the poor and disadvantaged, especially those targeted for other races, ethnicity or religious persuasions, and they are not so welcoming to strangers such as immigrants and new community members.

Yet, in the “liberal” tradition of societal thinking, the idea of universal love and service to all, especially those considered “poor” in nature, is readily entertained. Religion tends to honor those who are willing to reach out from themselves, whether they feel spiritually and/or personally empowered or otherwise, and help those who are less fortunate than themselves, and offer assistance, spiritual or material. One could say that the “liberal tradition” parallels Christian theology better than the “conservative tradition”, especially if one is well versed in the message of Jesus of Nazareth.

The majority of members of any religious community, Christian or otherwise, tend to, at least in the first stages of their spiritual unfoldment, cling to the stories and heroes of their tradition, and do not yet have a real, meaningful relationship to the truth of their being, and to the being of all others. Yet, while they wait for their “miracle”, they still have the physical and emotional support of fellow members of their congregation. They have not yet had a personal experience of the truth that exists beyond their limited sense of self, and their concepts of time and space. And, for some, the community will remain the only connection with a “higher power” that is achieved. In the first stages of our spiritual unfoldment, seekers after truth and love tend to look outside of themselves to the religious texts, leaders, mentors, rabbis, ministers, or gurus to help guide them toward that mystery known as “God” or “Love” or “Truth”. A tension arises for those brave souls whose search for truth must, for a period of time, take them outside of the safe confines of their religious group and its history, to find their own pearls of spiritual wisdom..

Problems inevitably come to the person, and to the population cluster the person belongs to, who perceives that the society and the religion in which he/she are now participating in has failed to meet its minimal obligations to their human spirit. Yet, this dissatisfaction is eternally part of the evolutionary, and revolutionary, cycles of life, with its principles and processes which support mankind’s continued existence and the potential for evolution, while hinting at the source for our hope for some form of a healing spiritual or societal transformation. There must be a dynamic tension between what is perceived to be true now, and the eternal unknown, with the unknown being the space that “God” originates within and operates through.

Institutionalized Christian religious understanding remains eternally resistant to evolution, or to change, because change is threatening to its established order, as, according to the bible that they quote from, “God is the same yesterday, today, and forever”. Yet, the people making that association may well be “the natural man” , the very people who we are warned about in first Corinthians. We first have to overcome the ignorant and superstitious traditions of our religion, which opens our minds up to the minimum spiritual discernment necessary to even understand what “God” might be, or how we might access the “powers of God”. Then, we might finally be able to have a “mystical event” or a “spiritual experience” and personally experience what was really meant by that biblical statement “God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

One great example of spiritual misinterpretation is within the book of Genesis. The book of Genesis in the Old Testament shows, at length, the process of mindfulness necessary for mankind to bring better order out of the chaos that naturally arises through the evolution of consciousness. Each human being is required to witness the world, and create internal pictures/images, words, and stories to best represent what they witness in the “outer world”. Literally, each of us is responsible for “creating the world” that we witness, at least the internal world, and world view, that becomes our own unique “internal” representation of the “external” universe. And, we will never find peace, or rest, until we have created an optimized, enlightened world view, and act consciously out of that spiritually evolved structure and narrative.

Yet, the “natural man” does not understand the book of Genesis, instead thinking that the story is a factual account of the creation of Earth, when in fact it is both an instruction set and an affirmation of the value and function of insight and mindfulness towards creating our own individual consciousness. Yes, humanity has the innate, though undeveloped capacity to create in the same image or likeness of, or as an identical expression of, a more truthful, love-inspired, reason-inspired “God-centered” consciousness..

It has been said that the Christian bible was written both to entertain the ignorant, while pointing to the truth, in metaphorical form, for those with discernment could understand and apply within their own lives. In our minds, we have created both the categories of the “entertained”, as well as the “enlightened” ones, and it should be noted that both descriptions applies to all of us, with each of us having our own unique proportions of each quality..The stories in the bible, or any religious text, are static in nature, yet we, as human beings, are a dynamic energy manifestation of the universe, and subject to enormous change. And as the individuals change, so must their collective stories eventually change. Ultimately for unity and healing, our collective and personal myths and stories must change, the closer that we get to the truth of being. If love is our compass, our stories have to be continuously updated to reflect the latest messages from the “Great Unknown”, for, by their very nature, ALL OF OUR STORIES SUFFER FROM A LEGION OF FALSEHOODS, and need to be continuously updated to reflect the newly revealed or discovered facts (see the latest scientific advancements and understandings, for example). The “Great Unknown”, and unknowable, not only does not recognize our stories, but also does not hold us prisoner to a static understanding of ourselves and our relationship with God and Truth. Religion is designed to do a fine job of that, however.

There are, literally, millions of victims of religious hubris and evil, and their stories painfully reveal where religion has brought harm, destruction and death to all who do not strictly adhere to their codes, or were innocent victims of patriarchal sexual abuse or white supremacist missionary zeal. Shame mongering and ostracism, excommunications, inquisitions, crusades, witch burning, book burning, incarcerations and other hateful and hurtful behaviors have characterized the church’s response to threats, criticism, or new ideas over their history. There remains sexual perversion institutionalized within the Christian tradition, with legendary failures at attempts to accept, understand and control the sexual activity of humanity. This tradition has wrought predatory and sexual evil upon innocent woman and children by the Christian missionary/ministerial presence in both indigenous and foreign lands and now even within our own country, and is now well documented, and continues unto this day. The present-day Christian attitudes towards homosexuality are not supported by any of Jesus of Nazareth’s teachings, and instead reflect back to Old Testament times when it was acceptable to harshly judge against many types of human sexual behavior and, thus the seed story for ignorant Christians was created that allows their tribe to persecute LGBTQ’s. I only hope that the Christian church has benefited more people than it has harmed over the two thousand years of its existence.

Too much of American Christianity or “religion” in general, appears to be only the elevator music playing in the background while their bad boys and girls continue to misbehave, justify each other’s bad behavior and “forgive it” if it serves their immediate needs to affirm some sort of intention for unity. They tend to celebrate their special, if not imaginary, tribal relationships and connections with their “Santa Claus God”, while judging against others not of their mindset, and lording their pseudo-truths over all others not presently included in their minds, and lives. What unrepentant boy or girl would not want to belong to a club like that? It sounds like their spiritual house could use a different leader, or a different understanding of the present leader, to help in its evolution towards a more loving, spiritual order.

All manners of illusion can be created with the marriage of religion with society’s need to stabilize and govern itself. This is a historical problem, with similar aspects occurring in other religious offerings from other cultures, and it dates back to prehistoric times. Humanity resides on a spectrum of understanding, with the vast majority of “religious adherents” living in relative measures of ignorance and superstition, while engaging with others as part of their social/spiritual community. One of the functions of any community is to provide a measure of safety and identity, while giving people an opportunity to share in an enhanced vision for life, even if they are so spiritually, morally and ethically undeveloped that they choose not to fully adopt it. Because of the stage of consciousness that they presently occupy, too many “followers” seek only the safety and security in their own, or their tribes’ misunderstandings. All too often, the adherents are both victims and enforcers of the Common Knowledge Game, a phenomenon describing how our culture and our desire to fit-in and win approval can nudge us into accepting as fact those ideas that should have required more examination and potentially, wholesale rejection of.

There is no shortage of “fundamentalists” who abide by this mind-numbing, old wayward saw::

“God said it, I believe it, and that is all there is to it”.

There is no greater block to spiritual evolution and understanding than cultivating a closed mind, but structured religion shuns the “unknown” and tends to create and promote the acceptable verbal pathways for communication and “understanding” for their “God”, or that which remains incomprehensible by most human beings. Yet, to question the church’s, or the religion’s, authority to define that which remains undefinable, opens one up to extra scrutiny, and the potential for adverse judgement, rejection, and exile from the religious community. Conform, or be shunned, become driving forces for those seeking enhanced social/spiritual connections not presently being promoted from within the tribe. And, one’s sexuality better be expressed through acceptable avenues, or watch out! Tow the line on that one, or be the victim of spiritual abuse like sexual orientation conversion therapy, or become the object of judgement, hate, derision, and exclusion..

Christian religion, in addition to giving hope for transcending death and the human condition, has been used as a form of state sponsored propaganda and control for nearly 1700 years. It is an interesting inverse relationship that exists between human curiosity and its potential for revealing the individual’s innate potential for spiritual healing and freedom, and religious indoctrination, with its superstitious reasoning, dogma, propaganda, and mind control. The latter tends to produce lives dominated by fear and guilt-based attitudes, negative judgements against all others unlike themselves, herd-like behavior, and reduced levels of individual freedoms, resulting in an unwillingness or inability to search for and find one’s own unique answers to the questions of life.

Christianity began to flourish through the actions of a Roman leader, Constantine, and his spiritual seeking mother, Helena, in the fourth century AD. An interesting experiment to perform, for the curious ones, is to interview a diverse blend of Christian adherents and see if they are interested in understanding the process by which the “present version” of Christian religion was created and became a state-sanctioned religion. I remain amazed and enlightened by the resistance I have encountered over the years of Christian religious “fundamentalists” to this line of questioning. One would think that everybody would want to understand the very history and ground of consciousness that is fundamental to their particular religious philosophy, but many do not. The truth is threatening to those whose unconscious minds remain married to a lie.

“Why, then, does truth generate hatred, and why does thy servant who preaches the truth come to be an enemy to them who also love the happy life, which is nothing else than joy in the truth—unless it be that truth is loved in such a way that those who love something else besides her wish that to be the truth which they do love. Since they are unwilling to be deceived, they are unwilling to be convinced that they have been deceived. Therefore, they hate the truth for the sake of whatever it is that they love in place of the truth. They love truth when she shines on them; and hate her when she rebukes them”.—-Augustine

In the fourth century, the mass murderer and evil Roman ruler Constantine saw the need for a drastic change in the way that Rome was philosophically structured, and proposed the establishment of a state-sponsored religion. Yes, this Constantine was the same criminal that was to become Saint Constantine. Constantine was the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity. Although he lived much of his life as a pagan, and later as a catechumen, he joined the Christian faith on his deathbed, being baptized by Eusebius of Nicomedia. He is venerated as a saint by the Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholic Churches. This shows, how a person can have his life and image “rehabilitated” even after death, and create more idols to worship, more superheroes of the faith around which understanding of their religion can be further wound. If a human being is “sainted” or worshiped as a savior, their status is no longer open to being questioned, and any who dare to ask questions are subject to severe punishment, and, in some cases, death.

In third and fourth century Rome, there was a wealth of diverse pagan, religious and spiritual inclinations and traditions practiced by Constantine’s citizens, with none apparently providing any collective cultural healing/unifying message. He was to eventually organize and convene a “religious convention” He literally forced thousands of spiritual leaders of that time to help design, accept, and spread a new religion, Christianity, with many new defining dogmas that would help bring his people back under some measure of control. Constantine had feared the further loss of his power, as the Roman empire continued its slow collapse, and he counted on a new state religion, Christianity, to help hold the fraying strands together of his dying civilization.

Of course, the Roman Empire continued its collapse, yet Christianity was to grow exponentially in power and influence over the next several generations.. This was the continuation of an epoch of time when patriarchy remained firmly entrenched in the world’s understanding of itself, though the pagan understanding outside of structured religion balanced some of that out with their more earth friendly/woman centered understanding of life. The concepts of God as “father”, and God’s only begotten son being the ultimate spiritual power helped to carry non-pagan, religious patriarchal understanding forward. It is enlightening to read the religious texts which are used as the vehicles for historical transmission of many of those agendas, as well.

Constantine, a pragmatic leader, knew the power of organized religion to keep people under control, people whose lives tended towards chaos and unconsciousness and who were inspired by fear and awe of powers that they did not yet understand and didn’t believe that they have innately have access to. Constantine was well aware of the message presented by 1 Corinthians 2:14, and knew that the power of the human need for social conformity with its common knowledge game would keep most of the ignorant and disempowered citizens under some continued, and enhanced measure of control by the leaders, which now included the ministers from their old religion, who were now converted to “Christianity”..

Constantine chose Jesus of Nazareth from among 25 different “prophets” known to that era, as Jesus’s teachings encouraged enhanced community connection and the potential for the healing of relationships the most, and his mother was already enamored with the man and his whole philosophy. She had followed Jesus of Nazareth’s teachings for years, and traveled the Mediterranean world seeking sacred artifacts from Jesus’s life. Constantine and Christianity became mutually supporting and sustaining, while providing a new cultural format for the continuation of both the supporting government, the society it ruled, and the new religion.

Constantine knew that it is much harder for the citizens to reject the message of an honored dead person, especially one who fantastic legends had already been created around, than it had been to reject the power and authority of a leader his subjects had already lost some respect for. He needed, in effect, to design a leader with even more authority and power than his own, who would not be threatening to Constantine’s continuation of power. and link himself positively with this new spiritual leader, who just happened to be dead, of course. The stories that were created to enhance Jesus’s standing in relationship to God, or to the ultimate power, by association were now helping Constantine attain a more exalted status with the Roman citizens. This sounds like the modern equivalent of Evangelical Christians associating Donald Trump with Jesus Christ and God’s will, doesn’t it? Trump signing bibles for tornado victims in Alabama in March of 2019 was quite the hubris by Trump, and showed impoverished spiritual understanding by the recipients

Many of the uncorrupted aspects of Jesus’s teachings did survive the Constantine conventions’ editing, manipulation and outright bastardization of facts and history. And, many of the stories written about Jesus were NOT canonized and included in the newly created bible, which indicates that this leader needed to keep a philosophical agenda and form of a cultural control story foremost in the adherents minds, to keep them, more or less, in resonance with Constantine’s underlying intentions, The neglected gospels that reveal the more mundane nature of Jesus’s life, such as him being both a husband and a father, were omitted. There were no great publishing houses to distribute the new bibles, and the common folk were not necessarily great readers and frequent visitors to the library, so minimizing the length of their new religious tome was certainly important, as well as making sure that there was a consistent interpretation from all of the new bearers of the new state-sponsored religion.

One great example of this is the story of the Prodigal Son, which did end up in the bible. Jesus told the story of the “prodigal son”, which happens to be the truth about not only our lives, but of Jesus’s life, as well. As real life human beings, we are born “the natural man” who has no clue about ultimate reality, and the individual’s relationship with it. We all are the “prodigal son”, until a deep desire to find and experience the truth develops within us. This was Jesus’ evolutionary, and revolutionary path, as well. You won’t hear that truth being revealed in church next Sunday though. Many Christian congregations spend too much time adoring and worshiping their “golden calf” rather than doing their life’s real work, and evolving to become the best version of themselves..

To this day, much of Christianity still parrots Constantine’s intentions, and spends too much time promoting and claiming spiritual superiority for their prophet Jesus, while imbuing Jesus with supernatural qualities, and a unique history, MUCH OF WHICH NEVER HAPPENED. Add this to the LIE that Jesus was immaculately conceived, and was born enlightened, and that his body could be revived, or resurrected, after his death on the cross. This creates an IMPOSSIBLE chasm for potential followers to cross. Those who profess to be followers of Jesus, will magically overcome this separation by claiming God’s grace and forgiveness through the “sacrifice” of God’s only Son. Wow, for a God that is One, there is only one “Son/Daughter” anyway, which is the totality of God’s creation, including our planet, and ALL ANIMALS upon it. Can a human being be so self-centered that they think that the human race is the center, and the point, of all creation, and that only the image of a man must represent the truth? Just looking at our present state of world ecology and its affairs gives the tragic and sad answer to this question. Yet, if religious adherents reading this story had “spiritual discernment”, they would see that Jesus’s story is a symbolic/metaphorical representation for the capacity that we all have, when we seek healing and spiritual connection. We all suffer immensely just for being human beings, whether it is from the hands of others, or from our own ignorant, self-defeating choices, though we can rise from the spiritually dead and be “resurrected into a life imbued with love, new meaning and purpose”.

One of several practices of Christianity that are worth continuing in earnest is forgiveness. Understanding what forgiveness entails can be contained within a book to itself. Check out the Liberian war lord “Butt Naked” and his horrific story when you can. Any religion that can allow a former mass murderer and war criminal, who feasted on the live, beating hearts of human babies, to become a Christian minister is an amazing story of transformation. And, his story is more believable than that of Jesus’s, because it is happening in OUR time, with the humanity of NOW being able to witness this “miracle”. If he can give his life story a happier ending than he deserves, what does that say about the power of forgiveness? (I will provide no commentary on potential legal, moral, or ethical questions that “forgiveness” brings up, especially in situations of expressed brutality and evil). Shall we follow the absolute laws of the Ten Commandments, with the historically mandated punishments, or pursue an evolving understanding blanketed in love and compassion, as pointed to in the New Testament of the bible? .

The story of Christianity is an amazing, conflicted story, which, after 2000 years of being told, still brings a measure of hope for a large sector of the human race. .Substantial parts of it’s theology remain out of sync with the laws of nature and modern scientific discoveries, though many of these incongruities and discontinuities can be healed through spiritual discernment. Much of Christianity still resides in the “old days” of superstitious and supernatural reasoning, earning themselves a collectively perceived lack of relevancy by many younger thinkers, as well as maturing pilgrims. No wonder there now are millions of ex-Christians seeking a deeper, more profound personal experience of Love and the truth of being, based on a more evolved understanding that present-day Christianity presently does not encourage or endorse.

There can be philosophical difficulties in the way we encourage each other to improve our outlooks on life.  We have created names to represent states of being that we may not presently occupy, and that which we aspire to achieve. Higher self, Christ consciousness, God consciousness, the proclamation that Jesus Christ lives in me, etc.point to potentialities to be developed within ourselves.  We must build our own consciousness of what really is true, what life reveals to all not paralyzed with fear and massive self doubt  Our Christian culture has created philosophical and psychological problems through its worship of a prophet who is also purported to be the “self” that we have all lost, and are now seeking through our present religious pursuits. This can be quite “crazy-making” and temporarily sets all of their adherents onto a path of a form of culturally sanctioned schizophrenia. Yet, what can Christian religion possibly do about that error now, especially since throughout the history of mankind’s presence on planet Earth we have not fulfilled our potential? If we can’t find our way on our own, we need to find a living example or role model that we can really identify with and thus want to emulate.

Does a consciously aware and evolving human being need the continuing presence of a church or church community? That is the question each of us must ask ourselves. When two or more are gathered together in the name of some greater truth or principle, the extra energy can be palpable, as if it is being generated by the presence of two similar intentions. which can carry enormous potential for power, spiritual or otherwise. The structure that a church or religion provides is not required for an enhanced spiritual evolution, however.

Truth only requires the overcoming of fear, and an innocent heart and open mind to recognize it. Truth, if truth erupts within an individual’s mind, is foreign to our mind and our normal experience of reality and it’s appearance IS an apocalyptic event. If one is not disoriented and shocked by the exposure to the fullness of truth, then one has not really experienced truth. Truth does not need religion to create or support it, but religion needs the truth to bring healing back to itself from the self-generated diseases of its man-made misinterpretations. Without truth, religion will continue to devolve into the tribalistic buffoonery that presently characterizes the political elements of that philosophy..

The truest test for Christianity that there is, is how well do those who profess a belief in “Christ’ adhere to this passage from John?

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.

– 1 John 4:18

In America, we do not have a “national religion”, though to listen to certain Christian propagandists and promoters, our democracy should be infused with more “Christian ideals”, “ideals” which may not support the collective good of humanity. The US Constitution was crafted with the parallel ideas of protecting the citizens from both overzealous governments AND religions. Our American society is presently not under attack from Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, Atheists, or Agnostics, but instead by unconscious, wayward Americans, some of which practice with a corrupted form of Christianity, which exposes potentially dangerous issues for all of us. Judging as incomplete, diseased human beings all those who are part of the LGBTQ community is self-defeating and hateful. The now-common pseudo-Christian siren call of saving an unborn baby is NOT EQUIVALENT to saving the planet, PERIOD. Our unborn human babies ARE NO MORE SACRED than the unborn babies of dolphins, whales, elephants, baboons, or other sentient life, and we hear too little from this philosophy about protecting their rights, as well. Their other ignorant, divisive arguments are legion in number, and will not be addressed in this writing.

Those religions who promote fear have failed at their most basic task in life.
Members of these tribes are just more relatively unevolved, ignorant power hungry, fear based broken human beings, though still ONE with the rest of us, which is this eclectic package of damaged goods known as HUMANITY..

Who is responsible for bringing order out of this chaotic scrum of humanity?

Rather than asking the silly, potentially divisive and disempowering question:

“What would Jesus do?”

We should be asking of ourselves, while in community:

“What will we do?”

And we should ask of ourselves, in the privacy of our own mind:

“What will I do?”

My response to that question is to first save the world from aspects of my unevolved self, while encouraging others to do the same, which is the beginning of the opening of the spiritual doors to infinite love, healing, and transcendence. In truth, there is no “you” to attack, or to support, as there is only one life expressing through the many, with billions of human beings looking through their own broken kaleidoscopes of perception, and thus spawning all manners of mistaken judgement of others, those non-unified, scattering parts of their fragmented self. “You” can never be real, but it certainly can be entertained as an incomplete, ignorant concept within one’s own mind, or the collective mind that mankind shares through its conditioning, education, and historical ignorance.’

Throughout my early life, I had a “revolving door relationship” with Christian religion. Now, my personal religion is not an institutionalized understanding of historical or spiritual texts, but it is much more present moment and personal. My adult religion is that I must protect at all costs the sacredness and health of our Mother Earth. I must respect all of life, denying dignity to none. I must bring no conscious harm to self or others, encourage all others to do the same, and to give the love and support for all of life, including all animals, plants, and insects.

To support the planet, and to enhance my search for truth, I practice meditation, mindfulness, insight, and I perform personal inventories, and make amends, according to the needs revealed through honest and integrated self-examination and evolving spiritual intentions. To the best of my ability, I see things as they are, and if certain aspects of myself or my life, and the life that I share with the rest of this planet, needs to be changed, I work towards that transformation. I have seen the toll that human suffering has placed upon our world, and I work to help heal the diseases of the spirit, such as alcoholism and drug addiction, which contribute greatly to the problem of darkness and despair within humanity. I continue to support the indigenous people’s of our continent, who were sexually and culturally abused by Catholic priests and white supremacists in generations past. I celebrate my connection with Mother Earth by spending enormous amounts of time outdoors immersed in nature, and I am a devoted wilderness hiker. I continue to spiritually and financially contribute to many, many ecological and social justice orientated foundations and charities. I feed the birds, squirrels, opossums, and raccoons that frequent our home, and I do not use pesticides or chemicals OF ANY KIND on our plants, including weeds.,

I choose, at this point in my life, not to align myself with any group of practicing Christians, Jews, Zoroastrians, Hindus, Buddhists, Pagans, Atheists, or Agnostics. I continue to reject exclusivity, which is endemic to tribalism, isolation, bullying, indifference, and false judgements. I continue to embrace inclusivity, which points to the foundation for collective healing. Those whose isolating philosophies motivate them to take up arms against their fellow man, are actually taking up arms against love, and our potential for healing. Those who greedily exploit the planet for its resources and its sacred life are hurting and exploiting all of us, and are the source of a great evil. Too many religions are unfairly critical and/or disempowering of one’s gender, sexuality or place of birth or ethnicity, creating yet more unfortunate opportunities for evil to prosper

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite”––William Blake

It’s always good to be reminded that all of humanity is still in the middle of a big, never-ending conversation, with many voices and opinions on what both our history was and what our human/spiritual capacities once were, what is possible for us now, what we could become in the distant future, and what we should not be, or should have never been. There are over a billion different possibilities for intelligible sentence construction using all of our words in the English language, as well as over a trillion different possibilities for story creations, so we need not be limited to the stories that now dominate our collective discussions, no matter how worshiped they may now be.

“Have you noticed how little space we have in our brain? It is cluttered up, full with so many thousands of things; it has very little space, if you take a journey into yourself. Empty all of the contents that you have collected and go very, very deeply, then there is that vast space, that so-called emptiness, that is full of energy, and in that state alone there is that which is most sacred“—–J Krishnamurti.

What should be our world’s religion?

“To save your world, first, strive to know your real self and then do it’s unique work”.

Some spiritual theories about our distant past indicate that mankind once enjoyed a pure relationship with Reality and Love. In this telling, mankind fell from grace, and, sensing its loss of true identity, began the eternal search for its lost self, or homeland, its original “Garden of Eden”. Most modern-day thinkers do not buy the theory of mankind’s original “purity” or innocence, or the concept of “original sin”, and instead posit that we all must work hard, and consciously evolve, to find our “spiritual homeland”. They stress the need for insight, meditation, prayer, and acts of conscious service to our fellow man. It is important to note that many Buddhists, Tibetan or otherwise, may spend over 100,000 hours of meditation, prayer, and spiritual practices over the course of their lives. The same can be said about many monks and seekers from the Christian mystical path, who also tend to isolate themselves from the scrum of humanity while they attempt a more complete union with the purity and wholeness (holiness) of their “beloved”.

. It is also important to note that the latest studies on human babies and maternal attachment theory indicates that by the proper and timely exercise of “extended physical presence” in human babies first two years of life, parents can create more stable, less anxious personality matrices in their children. Children could be much less emotionally needy, damaged human minds, thus preparing humans for better physical and mental health, while encouraging a more natural, spontaneous reaction to the Spirit. Perhaps by changing our culture’s haphazard parenting styles to more conform to the latest studies, we can save people from the experience of feeling out of touch with our real self, and instead, to find, and eventually to Be The Health, that a firm relationship with this style of parenting is reputed to provide. Yet, these studies may also be promoting a new variation of the “Garden Of Eden” fantasy, and take energy away from the need for all of humanity to become more conscious and caring in their movement through every moment of their life.

Our world needs a new religious paradigm, a new story that brings hope for the entire planet and its inhabitants. We need a new paradigm that honors planet Earth as the sacred foundation and provider for all our lives and needs. We need a new paradigm that re-establishes mankind as the conscious, loving caretaker of the planet, and loving, caring stewards for ALL of the life upon it. We must reach beyond the limited boundaries of our religions and their belief systems and prophets. It is time to stop fighting about which religion has the greatest prophet, and about the sundry details of a prophet’s life that was lived a thousand or more years ago. It is time for all of us, to search for our life’s truth, and bring a higher measure of healing and love to our world. It is time to convene another spiritual convention akin to the one held in Constantin’s time, to develop a collective theology that is more inclusive, loving, and mutually supporting. We need a new story that recognizes that the story teller, and the listener, are more sacred and precious than the story being told ever could be. This is a nearly impossible task, yet it is REQUIRED that humanity begin to undertake this historic mission. To do nothing is to resign ourselves to living lives solely dependent on historical misunderstanding, and experiencing lives that continue to fall short of our human and spiritual potential, and, collectively, descending into deeper levels of chaos and collective suffering..

We, as a human race, will always have our members clustered in groups along the entire spectrum of spiritual potentiality. We, as a human race, will always have the spiritually and materially poor among us, and it remains our responsibility to reach out and help each other, on this side or, the other side, of the ocean.. We, as a human race, also need a new common knowledge. We can create a new world religion, based on a new world order of inclusivity, sharing of resources, reduction of population, and loving service to our planet Earth and to ALL of its life. To survive as the human race, we must bring peace to our minds, and love and healing to our world. To not do so is to support collective insanity, global destruction and suicide.

All that we will ever see, unto eternity, is ourselves. We will either ascend onto our “God” and explore and actualize our infinite potential, or we will remain tied to the past, stagnate and descend into chaos with the continued destruction of our sacred planet Earth. The truth is that our future will continue to be a tension between both possibilities.

How again, shall we see ourselves today?

Some Men, and Their Religions, Just Want To Watch The World Burn

It may not be “common knowledge” for all Americans, yet in certain extreme religious circles, as well as within diseased individuals or secular tribes of dysfunctional people, some men just want to watch their worlds burn. There are many examples in modern day world life where rationality and love have given way to murder and judgement.  The most recent compelling example was the Saudi state sponsored execution of Washington Post’s reporter Kashoughi in the Saudi embassy in Turkey in 2018.  There have been bombs appearing at CNN, the Clintons, the Obamas, the Soros residence, and other places around our country, mass shootings in synagogues, taverns and schools, and the promotion of the principles of Armageddon by intellectually, morally, and spiritually disfigured pseudo-Christian religious adherents.  These conditions are just the outward manifestation of an evil arising in the damaged soul of unhealed and toxic American men, who act with the tacit or outright encouragement of our President of the Divided States Of America.

“They had a very bad original concept, it was carried out poorly, and the cover-up was the worst in the history of cover-ups,” he said. “They had the worst-cover up ever.”

Trump, speaking about the Saudi operatives who killed Washington Post reporter Khashoggi

I have made a personal acquaintance with the American equivalent of the Hindu God, Lord Shiva, the god of Destruction. Of all the “gods’ that the human race consciously or unconsciously worships, this aspect of most American male egos needs some dissection and examination, so that the entirety of our human race will no longer be hypnotized by its apocalyptic spell.

The unconscious male, Christian, American, Russian, Muslim, Jew, or whatever label you like, is the seed bed for true terrorism in our world.  Our president, Donald Trump, carries this damaged archetype within himself, while much of the entire world continues to suffer from other nationalistic leaders and their sycophants who are coming under this toxic, dangerous spell..  A person just does not support or incite hatred, violence, or racism, without having some sort of unconscious death wish for self, and/or for others.  The forest fires that hate’s arsonists light up, end up torching the criminal’s back yard, as well.

Some men just want to watch their worlds burn.

I will submit a great series of exchanges between Alfred and Batman (Bruce Wayne), from within the Batman movie, the Dark Knight, showing how the writers caught the very essence of the “God of Terror” that lives within us:

Bruce Wayne: [while in the underground bat cave] Targeting me won’t get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn’t go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.

Alfred Pennyworth: You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand.

Bruce Wayne: Criminals aren’t complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what he’s after.

Alfred Pennyworth: With respect Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man who *you* don’t fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.

Bruce Wayne: So why steal them?

Alfred Pennyworth: Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with.

SOME MEN JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN.

Cue in Trump, Steve Miller, and Bannon’s white supremacist, pseudo-Christian apocalyptic visions and propaganda, and one can see a phenomenon that our culture rarely speaks about, because male patriarchy creates the propaganda that dominates and interprets what is the truth,  attempts to control and distort the discussions, and reaches and distributes the final conclusions to all those under their hypnotic spell..

Within all men lies the seeds of the destruction of our very planet Earth. It has been given many names over time, but the end result is that when men are stressed at a high enough level, we will consciously self-destruct, including other destruction, through wars, terrorism, ethnic cleansing, or religious persecution.  If we perceive others’ creations, or our own creations are imperfect, and no longer deserve our love, respect, and support, all manners of darkness is possible.  Also, we will self-destruct through unconscious means, through adherence to our lower tribalistic tendencies, and greed, lust institutionalized hatred and fear as we victimize and pillage the planet Earth, and all of its sacred inhabitants, to meet our selfish, self-serving agendas.

A rational, introspective, evolving human being would use our imperfection to hone our insight into unfolding a higher reality within ourselves, but for most men, such a change is threatening, and healing is regarded as a threat to our very being. I let “healing” chase me through the gates of hell, to Death’s actual doorstep, and only when I made a decision to change the way i look at life, could help come my way.

Yes, the collective insanity of the American male (perhaps the world male) is on display right now. Only those men in denial, or with limited awareness of self and other, would ever deny this fact.  Or men who full well know what is going on, and want to “get theirs while the getting is good”, at the expense of everyone else.  The President has called climate change a hoax invented by China and pledged to take the U.S. out of the Paris climate change agreement, while a recent U.S. government report suggests that global temperatures will rise by 4°C (7°F) – “and that there is nothing we can do about it, so we might as well carry on pumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere”.

Cue in all of the murder/suicides, alcoholism, drug addiction, alienation, child abuse, homelessness, monetization of humanity for the benefit of the few, and, ultimately, insanity, global warming, extinction of species, and we see the dark aspects of the world we now live in. This unspoken internal terrorist is the ultimate bullying behavior that we consciously, or unconsciously, utilize as men, when we have had our egos threatened, our basic needs unmet, and no other safety outlets perceived.

Only desperate, disconnected human beings would place their faith in this century’s versions of the anti-Christ. Trump, Steve Miller, Putin, Pence, and Steve Bannon  have their plan for ascendancy after they deploy their self-serving, wallet fattening, Apocalyptic Insurrections.  Their alliances, direct and otherwise, with Russia, with American Christianity, and with the NRA, should make any American feel like it is time to revolt against the self-destructive corruption in our leadership.

I am not an American Christian, I am appalled and disgusted by those in political power who profess a belief in Christian religious ideology, and go ahead and rape and pillage America in the name of their corrupt Gods of power, hubris, death, and greed. .I follow the directions that Truth and Love create for me in my life. I am not afraid to confront darkness, wherever it might appear, be it in the Church, in the NRA, Congress and in the White House, in our corporations, in my family, or even if it is within my own mind and heart

An American society dominated by the self-destructive and other-destructive fantasies of sick minds, including the ultra-conservative, cultural suicide promoting “Christian followers” who believe in Armageddon, and who are doing everything in their power to create the conditions for it, continue to promote this unsafe, upside down world where weapons of mass destruction are worshiped as tools of freedom and safety, rather than being seen for what they are, which are tools for murder, propagation of fear, bullying, and self-righteousness.

The NRA is a front organization not only for Russian propaganda, but far-right fanaticism and the movement towards collective self-destruction by the American male.  I will now make another quick diversion into the darkened American Male underbelly of guns and gonads  Toxic masculinity, toxic capitalism, toxic religion and the NRA’s ideas around guns, are filled with holes, BULLET HOLES. I have written extensively about toxic masculinity, and there is a direct relationship between the damaged American male, and the incidence of gun marketing, distribution, sales, use, and murder and terrorism within our country. Enough is enough, my fellow male (and supporting female) citizens who are hypnotized by the destructive potential of their weapons of war, and by the extremist hooligans that so effectively promote their value to our diseased society..

NRA prayer:  THE LORD’S PRAYER (corrupted)
Our father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name,
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily munitions, and forgive us our poor marksmanship,
While we plot our revenge for the real or imagined trespasses of others.
And lead us not into temptation to be at peace without automatic weapons,
But deliver us from evil with our sacred AR-15’s,
For thine is the kingdom, the firepower, and the glorious gore of death, forever.
Amen

Politics, Insanity, guns, and religions, is an open marriage made in hell.  Satan smiles at one of his greatest creations.
Why are these evil cults of hatred, or religions tax exempt, and supported by Trump and other toxic Americans?

The hypocrisy of it all, Donald Trump and his violent, gun hoarding and toting gang of NRA supporters, will not even attempt to control the spread of weapons of war and mass destruction within our own country, yet he vainly tries to control the impulses of other countries.

Trump says that Jewish synagogues should have armed guards at the doors.  What kind of insanity is this?  Trump saying that he would run into a “shooting situation” even if he did not have a gun after the Florida shooting sounds almost consistent to me. He runs into intellectually challenging situations all of the time, with half a wit and no sensibility at all.  His play is always to hate, deception, and demagoguery.

This is the same guy that avoided the Vietnam draft with a five deferments, one for a “foot disorder” or “bone spurs”. Little did anybody know that the “foot disorder” was just that he liked to put his foot in his mouth repeatedly.
Is there no sanity at all left in our leadership? Why are automatic weapons required for a sane society to operate effectively?. Age 18, 21, or 101, nobody needs weapons of mass destruction and murder PERIOD, except for our military, or spoiled gun hoarders, bullies, and murderers.

What is the true source of your fear, those who stockpile weapons and fear monger? Patriotism does not support terrorism, Christianity does not support gun violence and terrorism, and true patriots, be they Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, agnostics, or atheists do not get confused by this.  Jesus, in whatever form “he spiritually exists today” would take his “spiritual sword”, and hack the ideas behind 2nd Amendment hooligans to pieces. If you are seeking for guns, and for weapons of war, you are not seeking for peace.

Finally, this self-destructive Christian Armageddon theology — a literal belief that certain actions Trump has promoted since the beginning of his presidency, must happen before Jesus will return to reign on Earth — is called “dispensational pre-millennialism” and it is not the quirky opinion of some isolated church. Although the majority of Christians do not share these views, versions of dispensational pre-millennialism dominate American evangelicalism, and Mike Pence is riding shotgun on this collective stagecoach ride to hell..

It originated as a small movement in the 1840s, but by the 1970s, millions of evangelical and fundamentalist churchgoers had embraced some form of it. Dispensationalism was popularized in a best-selling book called “The Late, Great Planet Earth” by Hal Lindsey; and later, in the 1990s, it reached an even larger audience through the “Left Behind” novels by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. The theology spread via Bible camps and colleges, through theological seminaries and revival meetings, in films and videos, by Sunday school materials, and in daily devotional guides — all teaching that the end of the world was near, and that Jerusalem was the physical place where this apocalyptic drama would unfold. 

If you know evangelicals, chances are very good that you know this theology, whether you believe it or not. You cannot avoid it. And if you hear the President of the United States say something about Jerusalem, you take notice. Especially when that President won 81% of the white evangelical vote.  When the President issued his order, I was not the only person hearing echoes of dispensationalism. Robert Jeffress, one of Trump’s evangelical advisers, declared: “Jerusalem has been the object of the affection of both Jews and Christians down through history and the touchstone of prophecy.” 

Other evangelical pastors and teachers also praised the action as “biblical” and likened it to a “fulfilled prophecy.”  While that may sound benign (or perhaps nutty) to the theologically uninitiated, they are referring to the “prophecy” of the conversion of the Jews, the second coming of Jesus, the final judgment, and the end of the world — the events referred to as the biblical apocalypse. 

I doubt that President Trump could explain dispensational pre-millennialism. I doubt he knows the term. But his evangelical supporters know it. Some of his advisers are probably whispering these prophecies in his ears. Trump might not really care how they interpret the Bible, but he cares that white evangelicals continue to stand with him. Moving the embassy to Jerusalem is one way to affirm his commitment to these evangelicals — reminding them that he, Donald J. Trump, is pressing biblical history forward to its conclusion and that he is God’s man in the unfolding of these last days.

Some men just want to watch the world burn. 

When hatred gets redefined as love, cultural schizophrenia ensues. Welcome to the world currently being re-created by Donald Trump, some dark monied billionaires, backward elements of the Christian Evangelical movement, and many members of the far right conservative movement, and their propaganda, lying, and corruption of thought.

Why do we continue to try to paint the house, when the foundation is on fire?

Life is always a self-fulfilling prophecy, we just may not be sure whose “self” that is being fulfilled, however!.

What if our life is fulfilling just the prophecies of our religion and culture, rather than that of our true self?

While unenlightened forces dominate human consciousness, oppression and repression are born and nurtured, and indifference and hatred grow exponentially.

Insight, Black Holes, and The Potential For Healing

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

― C.G. Jung

“The unexamined life is not worth living”

Socrates

“The unexamined life” refers to a life lived by rote under the rules of others without the individual ever examining whether or not he truly wants to live with those routines or rules. According to Socrates, this type of life was not worth living. Rather than living an unexamined life, Socrates chose death, and these words are attributed to the philosopher during one of his last speeches before his suicide. As we watch the destruction of our sacred planet Earth,, by unconscious members of the human race, we see the tragic, epoch ending behavior of a race that has appeared to have chosen collective suicide through living unexamined lives.

The truth is that the practicing addict, alcoholic, and toxic human, whether the toxicity is caused through religious, economic or cultural values, is also living an unexamined life. An early death through accidents, poor health choices or suicide, is at a much higher likelihood for occurrence for all such people, as well as the continued destruction of our planet Earth, with the increasingly catastrophic consequences that we will continue to witness. And, a mind hijacked by addictive substances and/or self-destructive or planet Earth destructive thoughts and behaviors will not readily adjust its course, without a compelling and consistent interior counter-argument being offered to its own often times unconscious desire for annihilation.

This book is about the potential for recovery and awakening from the human condition, which is a process that EVERYBODY needs to participate in. Denial is not a river in Egypt, as it remains a condition within the unconscious elements of the American Soul. Failure to accept personal responsibility for the ills of self, and the resultant damage to self, others, and to our planet, continues to be promoted by the toxic ones within our culture. Our home planet Earth, and hundreds of millions of innocent animals, and humans, are dying because of our collective inattention or indifference. Books will continue to be written by fools like me, but only Love and Truth, and a country with a real plan for positive change, can set us free.

To develop the capacity for insight requires a tremendous depth of desire to know one’s self in a different, more profound and holistic way. Overcoming a lifetime of suffering, ignorance, indifference towards and/or oppression by others, and repression of one’s emotional and spiritual nature initially can be a most difficult proposition. An inscription on a temple at Delphi stated: “Know thyself, and you will know the Universe and the Gods.” One must develop the strength of will to wrestle with one’s own demons, and angels, to find the path of transformation. Insight, or “knowing thyself” has been the path to the Gods since the mind of man first postulated the existence of a unique self, and of a God, and began the establishing of the rules of engagement with their creation, or “higher power’.

Education and indoctrination tends to teach the student about other people’s perspectives on matters of individuality, self-expression, and connection with a “power greater than our self”, while potentially confusing and delaying the individual’s direct connection and link to his own higher truth and nature. We easily become hypnotized by other people’s thoughts and attitudes because of our social need to fit in. It becomes easy to mistakenly associate all other’s points of view as being our own, until we finally decide to break free from our own second-hand, culturally inculcated reality for the understanding of self, and other. This starts the journey of awakening.

Awakening is an interactive process, encouraged and facilitated by the pain and suffering that we experience as human beings, while engaging with the “real world”. Far too many Americans live in alternate universes, where pain and suffering are not directly dealt with, or are to be avoided at all costs, wherever possible. Immersion in fantasy and denial of our personal and collective responsibility towards the ills of this world also reigns supreme in major sections of our culture. This is fueled by addictions to media devices, diversions of our life force into entertainment and worship of TV and movie personalities, hypnosis by false religious and spiritual leaders, alcohol and drug addictions, and personal and sexual power abuses. To facilitate healing, we must reject the false leaders, hypnosis, hero-worshiping and idolatry, and we must become our own leaders, with awakened powers of understanding and compassion. All of the sleeping beauties, and the ugly ones with warts, will continue to sleep, until their nightmares become so frightening that they either have to wake up to the “kiss of the healing prince, or princess”, or die.

Early in 2017, I began yet another process of awakening, which for me is another term for the experience of enhanced insight. In January of 2017, I took my father to the doctor, and my number one concern, next to my dying father’s needs, was that my father was going to outlive me. Why would such a concern erupt within my own mind? The stress of providing care for a moderately demented older “gentleman” did exact quite the toll, even though it also provided great spiritual benefits to me. My father was quite passive and gentle the last several years of his life, in quite the contrast to his earlier years, yet the historical momentum established through my sixty-two years of relationship with him just did not magically end or transform itself, and I continued to feel some internal challenges to my equanimity. My relationship with my father had created much of the irregularities in the foundation for my own vision of life and of love, especially in my years prior to age thirty-one. This was the year of my new beginning in life, when I became sober, and began my spiritual awakening in earnest.

I developed some insight into how my own father’s ignorance and selfish needs early in my childhood negatively impacted my own mind’s formation. There was a revelation within me that as a result of my father’s sometimes toxic influence in my life, I had unwittingly and unconsciously created two fundamental cores to my personal dysfunction. I came to refer to these forces as “tricksters”, and a thorough examination of all of my “inner demons” showed that they were traumatically created through incomplete, unskilled interactions with life. Their presences initially kept me from being helpless as I attempted to navigate the world as a young being, offering their own extremely limited versions of interior guidance. But, these miscreations kept me from developing into my greater good as an independent, free adult human being. It was around these cores that the whole of my consciousness swirled around, as if drawn and disfigured by two distinct, though interconnected, loci of negative influence. These “dark masses of influence” resembled actual personality subsets within my consciousness, and I posit that these forces are the precursors to all manners and types of mental illness, including anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, and multiple personality disorder.

My father represented, in a perfect way, how my life experience had become overshadowed by the needs and concerns of our culture, and its own unconscious needs to dominate, control, and oppress, especially those who did not conform to its often conflicted, twisted values. My father had difficulty, in times of great stress, in recognizing the intrinsic value of all life, including my “baby self”, and my essence as a young boy. My father showed to me, in a perfect way, what a potential end point looks like from a lifetime lacking in true collaboration and emotional integrity while sharing life force with others. My father achieved many of his goals in life, yet at what cost did they come to him, and to the people who he may have influenced and over which he exerted control? And, what is the cost to a society that blindly plows forward while supporting ideals that do not conform to the development of all of its citizen’s highest nature, and truth?

“Boy Named Sue”, by Johnny Cash

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&channel=tus&q=%E2%80%9CBoy+Named+Sue%E2%80%9D%2C+by+Johnny+Cash

This song captures the basic story of my life, and that life which is impressed upon all of humanity. After a tumultuous life, the boy named Sue has to begin his search for the source of his bad name or nature, which was his absent father. He needs to conquer and punish those forces of abandonment which contributed to his shame, yet after confronting his “darkness”, he gains an understanding of his father, forgives him, and states a new intention for his life. As a culture, and as individuals, we name all of our children “Sue” and unconsciously transmit our understandings of life through our children. Even if the child wanted to have a radically different life, they are still predisposed to make many of the same mistaken judgments in life as their parents did. This is the world where we are given an incomplete identity not our own, and forced to defend it for the rest of our lives, unless we can become more aware.

With the death of my father, it ended the era of subservience to my perceptions of his needs. It also ended the era of incomplete grieving for my own mother’s death, as I never completely worked through my own process around her sudden demise. I was now an “orphan”, and all of the entanglements that kept me wound around their lives were now physically removed. My fathers’ spirit no longer could overshadow my own life, and now I was allowed to live fully into whatever, or whoever that I am. I found that I no longer had the unconscious need to protect my mother from my father’s wayward emotions and behavior, which I always girded myself for, and I had prepared myself to do throughout my life. In truth, however, I never really succeeded in protecting anybody from my perception of my father, including myself.

For me this is an extraordinary release, because my ego may have formed somewhat differently than much of the rest of humanity due to unusual parental bonding issues just after birth, and through my first 4-5 years. Being placed on formula right after birth, and being placed in a chilly car in the garage at night so that my father could sleep better (I was just another “damn crying baby”) left me as a young being with so-called “attachment issues”, such as feeling abandoned, and lonely, from the beginning. Though I loved my parents, I certainly did not want to grow up and be like them. Yet, I was not able to offer to my developing self a viable alternative to being like my father, being extremely limited creatively, and my resultant dull, though at times insightful, personality reflected that darkness throughout my childhood, and adulthood through my first thirty-one years of life.

In our world, there are countless examples of self organizing systems, and all creatures, and the minds of those creatures, are examples of that miracle in action. The bodies appear to be primarily organized through the pattern created by the history of that species, and it’s interactions with its earthly environment. DNA appears to carry that pattern within our very cells. Some biologists and scientists, such as Rupert Sheldrake, postulate the existence of a “morphogenetic” field of energy, in which in the whole biological and environmental history of all species are stored, and which each member of the species shares energy with. This name identifies a scientifically recognized process whereby the whole of the species influences the individual, and the individual can also exert influence on the whole, especially when the number of individuals is great.

To quote Rupert Sheldrake, as documented by John Horgan, in Scientific American, July 14, 2014:

“Morphic resonance is the influence of previous structures of activity on subsequent similar structures of activity organized by morphic fields. It enables memories to pass across both space and time from the past. The greater the similarity, the greater the influence of morphic resonance. What this means is that all self-organizing systems, such as molecules, crystals, cells, plants, animals and animal societies, have a collective memory on which each individual draws and to which it contributes. In its most general sense this hypothesis implies that the so-called laws of nature are more like habits”.

The human mind appears to have a self-organizing principle attached to it, as it organizes itself into a personal sense of being. Some say that the “word” or the act of first recognizing that a verbal sound or a specific set of symbols can represent an environmental influence is the initial generative force behind the creation of the personal sense of self. Helen Keller gives an outstanding account of the beginning of her own sense of self, once she recognized that the letters W A T E R represented the substance that she washed with, and drank. Her sense of self became eternally linked with the the word “water” ,a substance of highest value to all life. Helen became a beloved writer, and went on to write great works of spirituality, beauty, and insight. I can only wonder what my nature, and the nature of all other humans, might have become, had the first word that we recognized been a unifying concept, rather than a narrative developed through trauma.

http://www.findingdulcinea.com/news/on-this-day/March-April-08/On-this-Day–Helen-Keller-Comprehends-the-Word–Water-.html

The mystery of the origination of the sense of self revolves around many additional factors, including the physical health, and how well the organism feels accepted by, and connected to the environment that the body travels through. Thus, healthier senses of self arise from, and are supported by, myriads of “successful” interactions with its social and physical environment, and the internal “name giving and associations” and stories that eventually get created by the self. First and foremost is acceptance and integration into the primary family cell, or group. If the young being does not get the requisite positive feedback early on, it faces tremendous odds against forming a happy, well-adjusted self organizing principle, or ego. My first 31 years of life reflected that experience, and I internalized and normalized the horror of a life suppressed by this aspect of the “conspiracy of silence”. I was damned by my own creations, which spawned from a subservience to a damaged image of self, and other. My own true nature, or possibility for experiencing another way of being, had been masked over, or silenced, through that process.

Black Holes

A black hole is a region of space/time exhibiting such strong gravitational effects that nothing—including particles and electromagnetic radiation such as light—can escape from inside it. The theory of general relativity predicts that a sufficiently compact mass can deform space/time to form a black hole. The boundary of the region from which no escape is possible is called the event. Within the human psyche, I posit the existence of consciousness “black holes”, or singularity points. We, as a human race, seem to have a predisposition to creating “black hole events” where no light (love, compassion, empathy, healing thoughts) escapes from our consciousness. These events occur especially during times of collective distress including mass hypnosis and the resultant mob mind activity that leads to wars, genocide, racism, xenophobia, hysteria and fear.

We, as individuals, also have a real talent for creating “black hole events” within our personal worlds, as well. Our concepts of time and space certainly get distorted, as present day events occurring in our lives get distorted within our minds by traumatic events of our past, or “black holes” of past influence through which the light of our ever unfolding “present moment of life” gets sucked into the darkness of a singularity point of a traumatic event from our past.

Our minds are “generators of consciousness”, which simply stated, means aspects of ourselves generate internal feedback, develop and support our own internal self-concept, create internal imagery and understanding of the “outer world” and support our verbal relationships with and actions towards all others. We attempt to match the “outer reality” by forming internal verbal and emotional linkages within ourselves, and this helps us to stay “relevant” and abiding within some measure of resonance and continuity with the perceived “external universe” or community that we presently share with others.

This “light” that we internally emit, and eventually share with our worlds either through action or verbal expression, is influenced dramatically by our own secret, internal agendas, whether we are conscious of those agendas, or not. While these agendas remain “unconscious”, they become the equivalent to our own internal “black holes”. All streams of consciousness that our minds and hearts attempt to “emit” become trapped in the swirling vortices of these powerful forces, and these internal “black holes” continue to influence virtually every aspect of our lives. And, if not dealt with consciously and carefully, these black holes will eventually draw all of our internal light into them, and we become unwitting agents of our own internal darkness.

To repress or deny these internal forces is to continue to feed them. As we get in touch with our fears, angers, hatreds, or whatever name for manifesting “darkness” that we might give to them, it is important to realize that these are great forces, and once they are harnessed, NOT REPRESSED OR DENIED, these “black holes” will continue to keep us connected to the real world, and, as we transmute their energy, the light within us uses these once “dark energies” for the good of ourselves, and for all mankind.

I have identified two major black holes within my own internal universe, which have created powerful forces of control, which must be dealt with directly and honestly, lest one’s entire life becomes a manifestation of “black hole events”. For me, I have named the BIG TWO. Number One, is the black hole that my voice will never be heard. Number Two, is the black hole of death. Insight finally reveals that these two are actually related, and are a direct result of failure to be fully integrated as a complete, healthy human being, and manifesting holistic or divine intent.

These two vortexes drew all of my internal light towards themselves, and by the time that those internal “singularity points” worked their dark magic to their fullness, I actually flirted with the end of my own life. Such is the way these “black hole events” can influence and control our lives, making peace of mind and positive, loving connections with others virtually impossible.

These “black holes” may remain, even after making profound spiritual and emotional changes. Their dark influence, however, continues to recede, once there is a committed intention to stay connected with insight and spiritual healing, where all true light comes from. As I strive to stay balanced internally, so shall my walk through the rest of my life remain balanced, as well. Insight keeps these forces balanced internally, so that the “spirit of wholeness” within us can utilize our energy in more “sane” and mutually beneficial ways.

And, for more than one of us, these “black holes” are eventually transformed into “white holes”, where no darkness can escape, and all of our experience becomes “enlightened”. We can’t short-circuit this process, by just substituting the pleasant-sounding “spiritual froth ” produced by other great spiritual thinkers, and trying to layer those messages over our unexamined inner universe. Well meaning advocates of this process become unwitting contributors to the repression, and oppression, of the Human Spirit. It is only after we do the real inner work, that these teachers can assume their rightful position in our consciousness, as fellow travelers on the path to Truth, which has no final destination. Our most profound words and thoughts only present the illusion of a “final resting place”, when, in fact, truth is eternally unfolding into each moment as a brand new, unique manifestation.

I have my moments with the “white holes”, and I continue to strive for experiencing this phenomenon with both increased frequency and intensity. A path of insight and meditation is quite helpful, and association with others who share in this new reality has been shown to produce almost miraculous results. If this experience is to become our real new reality, then there is work to do! Please, let us not rest on another person’s “spiritual laurels”, for by this culturally and religiously ingrained process we will be delayed in finding our True Passion.

I am what I am, but I am not what I seem

–Bruce Paullin

What might a man performing a thorough self-examination through internal probing discover about his self, and the subconscious guidance and direction by those black holes within his own unique nature?. To uncover the treasure, we first have to dig through the dirt, and believe me, it can be a toxic waste site. It is no wonder to me that there are “few there be that enter into” this unexplored realm within. There is a kingdom within that searches for its rightful king, but will we ever rise up and assume our proper place?

This process requires patience, time, experience, and humility, but eventually insight is developed whereby we, as men, can see the forces of corruption within our own heart and soul, and through the seeing, we also begin to facilitate the healing, as well. In the absolute, we are the space that we witness, either through our eyes, the telescope, or our mathematics, we are the time, or the timelessness, that we experience, and we are all of the people, and the cultures, that we are presently having relationships with. All that we will ever see, unto eternity, is our self. Insight is life, and life is insight. In truth, none of us are on the “outside looking in”.

You carry Mother Earth within you. She is not outside of you. Mother Earth is not just your environment. In that insight of inter-being, it is possible to have real communication with the Earth, which is the highest form of prayer.
—Thich Nhat Hanh

Our very bodies in Truth are our loving Mother Earth expressing herself, through our living, breathing, evolving forms. Mother Earth yearns for her children to become conscious, so that she can continue to bring newer, higher ordered living, breathing forms of herself into existence, for her to continue to nurture, grow, and evolve All Forms Of Life into the far, far distant future.. For us, as a race, to continue to live, breathe, and evolve, we need to develop higher insight into ourselves, and our relationships with each other, and with our Mother Earth. For us to remain apart from Nature, from our Loving Mother Earth, is to remain on the “outside looking in”, and personal and planetary destruction will continue.

When we heal from our sense of separation, we are all on the “inside looking everywhere”,. Collectively, we have to take responsibility for our perceptions, and cultivate deeper levels of insight and awareness.

Insight IS life, and life IS insight.

Here is a simple truth, which is extremely complicated for many of us to understand. What we are witnessing in our “outer life experience”, including the political arena is the playing out of common human “archetypes” upon the “screen of our world’s mind”, and upon our own individual psyches. The “evil, dark king”, the “repressed, ignored queen”, the “liar”, the “thief”, the “trickster”, the “joker”, the “justifier”, the “persecutors”, the “punisher”, the “assassin”, the “executioner”, the “dark prophet”, the “betrayer”, the “savior”, and the “world destroyer”, amongst others, are aspects of each human being who lives today.

Understanding how we are internally influenced by these collective archetypes allows for us to reduce, and potentially eliminate, their hypnotic influence upon our own internal worlds, and brings a higher measure of wisdom to us as we engage with the external universe. As within, so without, is the Truth here. Bringing healing to our internal universe First, will bring a higher degree of effective action in the “external universe”, since we will be resisting the real darkness, and not also the resistance within ourselves, which is self- defeating behavior. When we first bring healing to our “internal political environment”, we become much more effective dealing with the EVIL in our external political environment, since we are no longer fighting ourselves. And, with enough “warriors of the spirit” on the front lines against this most dangerous administration in the history of our country, we will persevere.

The real work must continue, even after we overthrow the DARK KING, and expose all of his TRICKSTERS, THIEVES, BETRAYERS, and DARK PROPHETS. American politics, economics, and religion, which have oppressed women for all time, and are so far removed from the sacred, that to call them PROFANE is to treat these institutions too gently. The repressed, ignored queen, or feminine, must rise up in all of us. It is time to “take off the gloves”, call it as we see it, and act as agents for bringing healing to our corrupted nation, and world.

This political statement is my own. I have not been paid, coerced, bribed, blackmailed, threatened, or in any way have I benefited economically from sharing this message. I benefit only because I am willing to stand up, speak my truth, and be counted among the millions of Awakening Americans, our newest AA group.

The Awakening Voice

As the slowly shifting sands of time,

Create ever taller hills for America’s lost souls to climb.

It is in our shared, hateful world of so little reason and rhyme,

That we must seek another way to Truth, to find the One Sublime.

Please, save yourself

Insight and Mindfulness

Many of the insights of the saint stem from their experience as sinners.

—Eric Hoffer

What if a real miracle was trying to happen in our lives, and too few people cared or were not even aware enough to attempt to look for it? This indifference or ignorance is the foundation for chaos in our world, and within our own minds..Those who refuse to look at the toxic masculinity inspired darkness within our culture become its unconscious and, unwittingly, its most ardent supporters. Indifference and hatred continues to threaten to destroy everyone and everything.  Tragically, in this age, collective outpourings of love and support for victims follow domestic terrorist acts, rather than healing and preparing the culture enough to actually prevent the heinous behavior in the first place. But through Insight and mindfulness,  minds and hearts are transformed, making all of us much less likely to become the source of suffering for others, and we become the living examples of loving non-violence in action.  Insight plants the seed of the miracle into our minds, and mindfulness is the great gardener of that miracle, resulting in a more abundant, healthy crop of happier, peaceful, loving, and ordered thoughts. 

One of the greatest insights that I have made is a direct result of a science class that I attended in fourth grade. Mr Hill, our Principal and co-teacher of the fourth grade class, was going to perform an experiment, and he wanted to teach the students about the power of observation. Each member of the class was to record everything they observed onto a note pad, so as to completely describe what they had witnessed. He had heated a portable electric stove. He then grabbed with some insulated tongs a thin sheet of metal and set it onto the burner. The metal immediately began to distort in size, and became quite disfigured, and the metal no longer looked like it did before. I watched, yet I had no words to describe what it was that I had just witnessed. I had never seen anything like that before, and I was struck dumb by it. I saw two kids writing feverishly on either side of me, and in my need to be accepted, “fit in” and not look stupid I looked at each of the two student’s writings, and saw how they described the event. I used their expressions to help me to create my own descriptions.

At an early age I saw how dependent that I was on other people to give a description about events that I did not have the words for. As a result, I have seen how the mystery of life can sometimes get overrun by society’s need to establish and maintain a continuity of reality and a shared understanding of events between all of its members. Someone else had the description of what I could not yet describe, so I used second-hand words to fill in the gap. Extrapolate this need to fit in and to belong to all collective gatherings of human life, including religion, politics, and society, and it is easily seen the potential foundation for illusion within all such bodies of experience. The description is never the actual event, yet those who did not have the experience, copy and worship the description, and overlook the event that may be still happening right under their noses. They have never developed the capacity and/or the willingness, to give their own unique description of an event, they are in fear of offering a different or contrary version of the event, or they have never witnessed the event itself.

In my junior year in high school, I was required to keep a daily journal, and record my insights into myself for a writing class. The problem was that I had no insight, at least as far as being able to put into words what the interior nature of my mind and life looked like. I did not spend a lot of time giving descriptions to events happening around me, and, instead, listened to others as they described their own experiences, which I either accepted and supported or rejected and judged against. But for me to give a description of the interior dimensions of my own being seemed an impossible task. I had to submit something, and in my desperation to get a decent grade i went to a bookstore, to find a book to help me to ‘look at myself’.

Hugh Prather had written a book called ‘Notes To Myself’, and I stumbled upon it, and bought it. I was so empty of complete statements about myself and my life that I copied statements from Hugh’s book, and tried to ‘personalize’ them so that it would not be obvious that I had copied his work. I got my passing grade, felt very relieved, and continued on my awkward, highly dysfunctional path through high school. I was near the top of my class near graduation time, yet I was completely out of touch with the majority of my classmates, as well as with myself. I had hoped that to finally graduate from high school might change, if not end, much of my social anxiety and sense of disconnect. Of course this could not be further from the truth. When I entered my freshman year at the University of Portland in 1973, I was lost again, and I had no internal maps to guide me through the complexities of college life.The use of pot, alcohol, and relationships with emotionally diseased people continued in earnest, obscuring any clear vision of my goals, and I constructed many self-destructive road blocks that impeded all progress.

Looking back, this verbal and emotional disconnect would have been great stuff to write about in the high school class, but i was living a lie, without having the words to even describe it, and the telling of the truth to others, let alone to myself, might force me into changes that I could not embrace or consider as possibilities. The absence of personal honesty and insight, and to be verbal around it, and the inability to communicate my distress with others doomed me to a deteriorating life experience. This limited my choices so much that many days, and years, I felt trapped in a prison, with interior windows sometimes only opening to Hell. I did not even have an adequate description to communicate my hell to others, so this is the secret behind the motivation for many mysterious suicides. ..

I will bypass a few years, and revisit insight again. In April of 1984, I placed myself in the Care Unit of Portland’s Lovejoy Hospital for a month, with the intentions of maintaining my job with the U.S. Postal Service, as well as, maybe, staying sober for a little while. I had a female Christian counselor named Claire, who was my guide while residing in this facility. A requirement was to keep a daily journal, and to document our “internal weather” while undergoing reorientation into the new life of sobriety.

I remained quite uncomfortable recording my interior universe. Little had changed within me since high school in regards to becoming honest with myself, and finding any hidden gems to discover, and write about. I found that i could write a lot, however, if what I wrote had the intention of pleasing others ,especially if they were female in orientation. Also if I could sometimes make somebody else wrong for what they were, or, more regularly for me, accept FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS, I could find something to write about. Yet, something else was also brewing inside, which was the need to bring peace into my mind.

Every day my desire for PEACE was acknowledged, all the while attending the daily groups, and counseling sessions. I attempted to practice the 12 steps of AA, for alcoholic recovery, which demands insight, and rigorous honesty. My chances were still less than average, due to fundamental flaws in the basic makeup of my personal consciousness, and awareness. A lifetime of oppression, insanity, and repression of spirit, does not just magically disappear because others, or even myself, thinks that it might be a good idea. This first foray into intensive recovery from addiction was not to be a success for me, however. The three year period following the relapse was to become the most horrifying period of my life

The final descent into darkness is documented later. Suffice it to say, to follow new paths of consciousness means to become aware as a human being, and listen to my heart, and the heart of others, as we travel these uncertain paths of life that lay before us. And I must become conscious, and maintain the conditions for healing, for me to continue on an awakening path. I must make verbal, as best that I can, that which defies description, no matter where those revelations place me on the spectrum of human energy. And, I must continue to accept personal responsibility for all of my thoughts, words, and actions, while supporting others to do the same. We must try to walk together, or I will die alone.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.   
– –Anaïs Nin

The most profound experience that I have ever had around insight happened at a young age, during a dream experience. In 1964, at 9 years of age I had a most amazing, realistic dream. This was during a period of time when I slept very little, as I usually got to sleep no earlier than midnight, no matter how early I went to bed. Truth be known, I did not like falling asleep, as sleep might open the door to yet more nightmares, which I was all too accustomed to. My dreams finally evolved beyond the continuous nightmare phase that I was accustomed to, prior to age 9, but uncertainty about their possibility of arising still prevailed within my mind. In preparation for sleep, while lying in bed I would review the day every night, and see where I could have done things better, or said something a little differently. Somehow I had intuited that by improving my daytime behavior, my nighttime dream world might become more peaceful.

THE DREAM:

The priest, having received his directive from “on high”, then returned to his village along the lake in the high mountain region. He gathered all of the villagers together, and informed them that they were to take every golden figurine, every sacred symbol that they owned, and they were to throw them all into the lake, and never to think about them again. Then, he told each villager that they must each go into their own home, and face the “evil one” without any protection or care from any of their gods or their symbols of the sacred.

Lake Titicaca Peru-Bolivia-South-America

The priest then returned to his own home, having tossed all of his own idols and treasures into the deep blue lake. He stripped himself bare of all clothing, and then began to summon the forces of the dark. He became surrounded by a fog, and as he lifted his hands, sparks started flying out of his fingertips at the unknown force of darkness that lay just beyond his visual field, still hidden beyond the boundaries of the fog. The priest refocused his energy into his arms, and hands, and the sparks grew into a steady energy field, extending from his body, his heart, and his spirit, towards his unknown adversary. He was determined to overcome this force, this dark energy, and he redoubled his efforts. The priest’s heart began to race out of control, he began to sweat profusely, and a growing sense of fear and dread began to take hold of his entire being, as he finally understood that his energy could not last forever. Yes, for him to continue this battle, he must sacrifice all of his life force. Yet, he felt that he had no choice but to keep engaging the enemy, to finally see the face of the force that had terrorized his village since time began. He desperately strained and stretched to see the object of his fear and disdain, even as the ebbing energy field flowing from his fingertips continued to cut through the fog. Suddenly, a face began materializing before his faltering gaze. As he collapsed to the floor, almost drained of all life, he could no longer fight an undeniable truth– the face of the evil one might be his own!

This dream says it all, and even the unimaginative among us cannot miss out on the unmistakable message that is contained within it. Projection is a name given by psychologists to this experience, where we finally realized that the conscious world that we feared, the conscious world in which we created idols and gods, and self-protective psychological mechanisms, to protect us from the perceived or potential evil, was actually a world that we created through our own ignorance, both collectively, and individually. This manifests in all of the horrors that we witness on the world stage daily, and in all of the family and cultural dysfunction under which we were raised. We are all wounded by this process, and rather than find a way to heal from it, we ignorantly arm ourselves against further assaults from others, even though we are part of the attack against our own self in the first place. This is the most insidious component of the Common Knowledge Game, and the one almost everybody REFUSES to face together. The outcome is inevitable, and, ultimately, we will either heal together, or we will die alone.

A most diseased way that human beings acting out of their own wounded natures is by continuing the attacks against those that they have already hurt. It is just heartbreaking to be a witness to, or to be on the receiving end of, attacks against our souls and being by those who have already hurt us, and who cannot or will not acknowledge their own culpability. The victim is made wrong for having feelings, and for expressing their anger, fear, distress, or heartbreak at having been attacked, either in the past, the present, or both. Because the perpetrator does not want to face his own bad attitudes and behavior, he lashes out, and makes wrong, those who attempt to speak up for their own life, and rights. If we cannot accept responsibility for our own wayward thoughts and actions, healing and forgiveness, whatever that word may point to, remains an impossibility.

Those who remain silent about their own responsibility for and participation in their own projections of hatred, ignorance, pain, suffering, intolerance onto others, remain a fixture of our culture’s conspiracy of silence. It happens on the cultural level, and on the personal level. We are all victims of racism, sexism, misogyny, xenophobia, and all other malicious, malevolent attitudes and behaviors, trickling down from our politicians, corporate boards, employers, family members, co-workers, acquaintances, fellow drivers on the road, or the person in the cashier’s line with us at the grocery store. Our country owes an apology and reparations to all of the minorities it has persecuted and punished, such as the Indians, the Blacks, the Hispanics, the Immigrants, the Infirm, the Old, and the Poor. Our religions owe an apology to the homosexuals, to the infidels, to the gentiles, to the “Jewish faith who crucified Jesus”, and to all who have been persecuted because they were “non-believers”.

MINDFULNESS

Please do not be intimidated or repulsed by the name God when I refer to it.  For me, God is a historical name for the self-organizing principle of consciousness within each one of us, plain and simple.  Each one of us has a self-organizing principle, or we would not remain integrated and true to our sense of self, and we would dissolve into chaos, fragmentation, and insanity.  If you see God in terms of some sort of “He” or “His” or creative power of the universe or superpower, or transcendent mystical being,  you may be right, but my present definition of God is designed to meet the need for the following discussion.  The other directions that the name God might take us can be only a distraction from the primary point that I am about to make.

The Bible’s old testament has many wonderful stories about insight and mindfulness embedded within it.  It is too easy to get captured by the historical, dogmatic, intellectual, and religious interpretations of this text, and miss out on the underlying meanings BEHIND the stories, where the real Truth is hidden.  As a description, and a lesson plan, for the real true spiritual practice, AS I SEE IT, I only need to quote from the Old Testament, from our Christian bible (or it could be from the Torah).   The religiously ignorant of the world think that somehow the early tellers of the story of Genesis were direct witnesses to the unfolding of God’s universe during the “creation of the Earth in seven days”.  This story is only a myth or parable about how the organizing principle of consciousness itself, God,  unfolds in space and time, and our responsibility for wisely guiding the naming process to create an accurate representation for the “outer” world, and a more peaceful, happy experience for self and other.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters.”

– Genesis 1:1-2 NASB

It was the picture of disorganization and uncertainty, for the world had no order. Everything was “formless and void.” The Hebrew words here suggest that there was confusion, emptiness, and waste. And it was filled with darkness.

But ‘God’ changed everything. ‘His’ action began as “His” Spirit was “moving.” The Hebrew word here is found only two other times in the Bible. The picture is of observing or watching carefully and deliberately. The Spirit of God was brooding…studying…examining…lingering. And only after this hovering did God take action and start bringing order.

Then “God” declared, “Let there be light.” This light illumined everything about the world, and “He” was pleased with the impact. He “saw that the light was good; and “God” separated the light from the darkness. “God” called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.”

Day after day, God continued to bring order out of chaos. And as He looked at His creation, He declared that it was “very good.” It was only AFTER he declared that it was “very good” that he could find rest.

So, here I am indicating the direct connection between the story of Genesis, and the development of spiritual discernment that must be developed within myself to enable me to ever find the “rest” that being in the presence of a creative, healthy, happy internal experience brings.  In fact, “GOD” is the very ORGANIZING PRINCIPLE of our consciousness, and, ultimately, it is our PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY to direct the internal construction project. We are responsible for incorporating love, rationality and understanding into our world views, and this successful action literally creates the “LORD” within us that informs and guides all of our actions.  If one continues to look to a historical figure for salvation, one is engaged in blatant idolatry, and will remain ignorant of their true potential, and easily hypnotized by those still occupying positions of power within their religion and culture..

The ignorant of the Christian world would take this story literally, and miss out on the fact that this is the very process or procedure that we all must take with our lives. We must bring order out of the chaos that we created through ignorance in our minds, and in the minds of those people who are part of our community. We must separate the light from the dark, and we can only rest when we have become one with the goodness at the center of our being, and at the center of everyone else’s being. We must become mindful, or, in the words of Alcoholics Anonymous, continue to take personal inventory, and when we miss the mark, promptly admit it and change course, rather than waste time defending our illusions.  Those who habitually defend personal, cultural, or religious illusions are the very ones who continue to create chaos, misunderstanding, and conflict.

God’s actions in creation help us understand how we actually approach our lives, and the ways this awareness can help us today. For ‘God’ still brings clarity to confusion. ‘God’ replaces disorganization with organization. Uncertainty is replaced by certainty. Chaos is replaced by order. Those who are aimless are given new plans. Emptiness is replaced by meaning and purpose. And any sense of darkness is replaced by a new light, or understanding. This is a process that is now known as MINDFULNESS, but it has been known to “godly people” for all of time. “God” does not judge us, we judge ourselves, and, thus, we can become more “godlike” in nature and manner, once our blocks to loves awakening and awareness are acknowledged within  There is no white bearded man in the sky, ruling from the golden throne, with angels circling his head.  But, there is wisdom within us, when it is cultivated, and our insight and true knowledge become “angels” to us, as they lift our spirits, and our understanding and connection with each other, the world, and all of the life upon it

A fixed truth about life is that if we can’t honestly look at where we are in life, we will never find the true motivation, or foundation for change in our life’s experience. The non-examined life always results in a damaged, dysfunctional life, and that characterizes both individuals, and the collective society that they participate in. The Christians tend to believe that they can be saved from their own darkness by claiming the work performed by somebody else (the blood of Jesus?). Well, for those who have really made “conscious contact with the God of our understanding”, the realization comes that our own “blood” is the sacrifice that we make, as we make mistakes, and learn from them.  In fact, the only sacrifice that ever needs to be made (and the only sacrifice acceptable to the Truth within us) is our erroneous understanding of who we are, and who or what our fellow-man is. Our own “crucifixion” continues until our own physical deaths, unless we release ourselves from all of the false illusions of self and other. Our misunderstanding of life, no matter how “Christian” we claim to be, creates infinite opportunities for chaos and disharmony with each other, and we feel betrayed by, and suffer endlessly from, all of the wounds incurred through fragmented belief systems.

We are typically healed though the power of awareness, awareness that operates through the present moment of experience. We need not claim a healing through the long dead consciousness of some purported master or saint to have a true healing experience There is always somebody trying to layer the Truth of Being with their own misinformation and broken philosophies, and this includes the Church, in whatever forms we address it. Truth and healing DO NOT REQUIRE AN INTERMEDIARY, IMAGINARY OR OTHERWISE. No teacher will affect our salvation, we must work it out for ourselves. The God of our misunderstanding only needs our humility, patience, and sincerity to approach it successfully. The medium for healing is our own consciousness and the consciousness of our spiritually aware “helpers”, and this is always happening NOW. To believe otherwise is the absolutely damaged understanding that has been foisted upon the unaware, philosophically and spiritually uninterested, socially conforming group of people claiming to follow religious and spiritual  teachings for countless generations.

I will allude to my own personal experience here, to add to the mental picture that I am trying to re-create. Recently I was motivated to write a story about my unfolding as a human being, and my entry onto the path of spirituality. This inspiration resulted in the writing of a story that resulted in a more complete understanding of the blocks to love’s awareness that existed in my mind/heart during my childhood and early adult years. A cathartic event resulted, revealing a long ignored inner voice that I was called upon to finally listen to. I had to look at and listen to my history completely, as there were early periods in my life when there was nobody to listen to me when I needed it most, and thus some damaging marks were left on my soul, which were then healed through the powers of present moment awareness. Healing can be instantaneous, or it can be a lifelong process, but because refining the powers of awareness is a lifelong process, children would be well advised to begin early the study of themselves and their developing hearts and minds, and not some worn out lines of dogma that do not carry the spirit of Truth within them.

I attempted meditation upon my own source of pain and suffering, and what came to me was how most of what I know about myself, and my reactions to the world, was created by my fundamental relationship to my parents. I had never developed a complete sense of self in my early years (I will not call it Asperger’s Syndrome, or Autism, though it manifested similarly to ADHD) and my sense of self revolved around internalizing what my mother and father expected from me, what I could or could not give back to them to attempt to please them, In addition, I developed defense mechanisms for managing the fallout when I failed to either please them, or protect them, or myself, from the results of the conflict that arose in our house when I either made yet another mistake, or when father overreacted to any situation that brought a sense of fear or threat into the home environment. I needed to be heard yet I did not know what to say to make myself heard in such a way that I could feel love and peace consistently.  There was also that aspect where I felt a need to balance whatever energy was being over-expressed at any particular moment, which certainly added to my passive-aggressive component of self-expression.  It was as if I had  extra self-organizing principles or personalities occupying my ego mind, my creations of who I thought my father and mother were, and my own need to be heard and recognized, which was crowding out the real me, whoever or whatever that might be, if anyone. I wondered if there ever was a real “me” present, or only some sort of complex verbal construct that became collectively known as Bruce.

Who, or what, am I now? I am a mystery, even to myself. I need not be anxious, though the transition times from what  I thought I was to who I am predestined to become can create intense anxiety. I am to be forever walking into the unknowable present moment. Living into the Truth of what that is now is the new story of my life. There is but One Mind, but its truth cannot be experienced except by resting in the Unknown of the present moment.

While watching our minds both while in meditation and being mindful, we will watch many trains of thought just passing through.  While physically and emotionally engaged with the outside world, we will find many trains of thought just passing by, as well.  The first thought response to any situation is usually a conditioned response, which means, to be mindful, we must take a pause before acting on each thought.  There is always another train of thought ready to take the place of the last thought, and this next train might be the better response.. This is almost the equivalent of taking a deep breath before taking action. That next train has a much higher likelihood of being filled with more spiritually inspired passengers, especially when it arises from the pause moment.  We can have a happier, more peaceful and loving “train of thought” ride, just by pausing before acting, and not jumping on the first train that passes through..

The Windshield Wiper

I get questioned from time to time about why I need to write about performing personal inventory work about the impact of Toxic masculinity upon my life, and upon the human race in general. Some perceive that I must have anger or hatred motivating me for attacking our masculine heritage and background.  Those questions have led to the following story appearing here:

A man got into his car, and put Jimmy Cliff’s song “I Can See Clearly Now” onto his car audio player. He started the car, and began driving down the road during a driving rainstorm. Not more than one block down the road, he slammed head-on into another car, critically injuring himself and the other driver, who happened to be a female.  The policeman who showed up on the scene investigated the accident, and noted that the male driver had failed to turn his windshield wipers on. He visited him in the hospital to interview him, so that he could finish his report.  When the driver who failed to turn on his windshield wipers awoke from his coma, the officer asked him why he didn’t turn on his windshield wipers.

“Officer, I did everything right. I was playing the right music in the background, and I trusted that I was seeing all that I needed to see. I just did not think that I needed my windshield wipers”.

The officer immediately cited him for reckless endangerment and reckless driving.

There is your answer.

Our unconscious behavior causes damage every moment of every day. Turn on those damned windshield wipers, fellows, and leave them on! If we are still a man, and a human being, it is always raining somewhere inside of our minds, or even in our heart. If someone writes us a citation for our behavior, we need to learn from it, rather than resisting it.

Why would anybody think that they can just apply another coat of spiritual paint to cover over a house experiencing rot and decay, and expect that new paint job to have any lasting, positive effect? New thoughts layering over, or covering our non-examined embedded belief structures are just like slapping another coat of paint over the decaying house. This is like affixing a fig leaf over our genitals, like in the Garden Of Eden myth. In the program of AA, we call that our “look good”, which means that we keep our exterior looking just fine, thank you very much, all the while our interior remains corrupted, unexplored and unhealed. A favored expression is “we are only as sick as our secrets”, but our secrets do keep all of us sick, whether we want to deal with them, or not. The examined life demands that we take inventory on our self, and make every effort to understand the motivations behind all of our thoughts and actions in this world. The deeper we dig, the more that we learn that we are connected at a much deeper, more profound level with the rest of humanity than we ever dreamed possible. It is then that the healing we undertake as an individual can have a “ripple effect” upon the rest of humanity, because we all influence the collective, as well as individual, consciousness that we experience as human beings.

There is hope. I found balance and healing in my own life, without using outdated religious fundamentalist modes of thought, which continue to pollute the minds and hearts of millions of Americans. The 700 Club on TV should be called the 666 Club, and Pat Robertson, and all of the other unconscious supporters of this nonsense, need to make way for the New Truth dawning in the minds and hearts of our Awakening America.

The Evangelicals who continue to obstinately support Trump have revealed their true colors to all thinking and feeling Americans, and I remain appalled by their collective ignorance, hatred, and collusion with anti-Christ principles. Many are now promoting loyalty pledges to their anti-Christ master, and who knows what the dangerous endpoint will be for this nonsense? I fear that the formation of the pseudo-Christian equivalent of the Taliban is happening right before our eyes. If you have ever wondered how Germany descended into Nazism, now you know. Thank you Republican Party, and the undereducated and ignorant Americans who continue to support the Trump administration, even in the face of his dysfunction and threats against decency and democracy.. Yet, each offending party still has the capacity for insight and change.

In the absolute, All that we ever see, unto eternity, is our own self. As I look upon the world, and all of my relationships with the people, the land, the animals, and inner and outer space, I see an evolving landscape that demands collaboration and involvement by ALL PEOPLE, and representation for those beings who do not have a voice in such matters. This is a landscape that demands that I make my own unique impression upon it. I must first confront the demons within my own mind and heart, and give them personalized names representing the truth of my life experience before I strike out against the “outer world”, lest I project unhealed non-verbalized images and intentions upon the unsuspecting population.

Insight and mindfulness, meditation, walking away from self-destructive dependencies, maintaining dialogue with others, speaking my truth, fighting against oppression of others, and repression within my own heart and soul, following new paths of consciousness, working out my own salvation, while helping others on their own paths as well, are ways to develop collective awareness, and healing, and bringing peace of mind to my own interior universe. I cannot love others, or my own life, completely, until I make peace within my own heart and soul.

“The unexamined life will be painfully lived”

—-Jack Boland

The Word (peace, love, healing, wholeness, unity of life) must become flesh, and dwell within me, and within all of us.  To not have that experience is to invite all of the darkness, turbulence, and disease that the world has to offer into our individual, and collective, lives.  Through insight and mindfulness, the difficult emotions that arise within the human experience are experienced in the most sacred, honored way of the Spirit within us , and not subservient to the controls of those in religious, cultural, or political power who attempt to dictate to their flocks who we should be, and how we should express ourselves.  We become more free, and honest, human beings.  And, a few of us get to experience the real miracle, where we see from that aspect of our real nature that can watch our thoughts arise, without being the self who remains unconsciously controlled by them

“Nothing will come near your dwelling place, for those who live in the secret place of the most high”.
—Psalm 91:1

Mindfulness is meditation, with our eyes wide open.  One day, perhaps we will all stop looking through the kaleidoscope of our broken minds, and see a glorious vision of unity, love, peace, and healing.  Insight and mindfulness work together  to bring the parts of our selves back into alignment with each other, and reduce the profound impacts of brokenness and chaos in our lives.  It is a lifelong process, and personal awareness is more necessary than the brushing of our teeth, the daily changing of our underwear, or the eating of organic and/or non-processed foods for our overall well-being (but please do not discontinue those healthy behaviors!).  With mindfulness cultivating the seeds planted by insight, a new world order can grow, and bring our world back into alignment with the higher orders of peace, health, and collective well-being.

Troubleshooting Logic and Techniques

Troubleshooting is a form of problem solving, often applied to repair failed products or processes on a machine or a system or even a human life. It is a logical, systematic search for the source of a problem in order to solve it, and make the product or process or person operational again. The first step in good problem analysis is to describe the problem completely. Without a problem description, we will not know where to start investigating the cause of the problem.

This step includes asking ourselves such basic questions as:

• What are the symptoms?
• Where is the problem happening?
• When does the problem happen?
• Under which conditions does the problem happen?
• Is the problem reproducible?

What Are The Symptoms?

When starting to describe a problem, the most obvious question is “What is the problem?” This might seem like a straightforward question; however, it can be broken down into several other questions to create a more descriptive picture of the problem. These questions can include:

• Who or what is reporting the problem?
• What are the symptoms and feedback messages?
• How do we fail? For example: loop or repetition of unnecessary or unwanted behavior, hang or quitting or stopping before a process is successfully completed, performance degradation, incorrect attitude.
• What is the affect on all relationships?

Where Is The Problem Happening?

Determining where the problem originates is not always easy, but it is one of the most important steps in resolving a problem. Many layers of (mis)understanding can exist between the reporting and failing components of the personal system under review. The supporting society, family, and network of friends are only a few components to be considered when we are investigating problems.

• Is the problem isolated and specific, or common to multiple arenas within life?
• Is the current environment and understanding capable of being supported by a healing intention, or are broader, more encompassing changes necessary?
• Are reports of problems originating within the self, others, or a combination of the two?
• Are there currently cultural power brokers attempting to dictate the way life’s route should be traveled?
• Is the source of the history of the problem purely an individual one, or universal in its expression?

These types of questions will help us isolate the problem layer, and are necessary to determine the problem source. Remember that just because one layer or part of our self is reporting a problem, it does not always mean the root cause exists there.

Part of identifying where a problem is occurring is understanding the environment in which it exists. We should always take some time to completely describe the problem environment, including the historical mindset, its present understanding, all corresponding intentions, and biological health information. Confirm that we are operating within an environment that even can be support us, or that, conversely, we can give support to, as many problems can be explained by discovering understandings and agendas that are not meant to run together, or have not previously been successfully used together.

When Does The Problem Happen?

Developing a detailed time line of events leading up to a failure is another necessary step in problem analysis, especially for those cases that are one-time occurrences. We can most easily do this by working backwards –start at the time an error was reported (as exact as possible, perhaps using the timeline approach), and work backwards through available memory and history. Usually we only have to look as far as the latest event that we have experienced conflict or despair, however, this is not always easy to do and will only come with practice. Knowing when to stop is especially difficult when there are potentially multiple layers of dysfunction, each with its own diagnostic information. The intersection of society with the individual always creates multiple layers of interaction and mutual expectations, with the potential for far more “failures” than “successes”.

• Does the problem only happen at a certain period of one’s life?
• How often does it happen?
• What sequence of events leads up to the time the problem is reported?
• Does the problem happen after an environment change such as after creating new friendships, getting another job, or moving to a new neighborhood?

Responding to questions like this will help us create a detailed time line of events, and will provide us with a frame of reference in which to investigate.

Under Which Conditions Does The Problem Happen?

Knowing what else is happening at the time of a problem is important for any complete problem description. If a problem occurs in a certain environment or under certain conditions, that can be a key indicator of the problem cause.

• Does the problem always occur when performing the same task?
• Does a certain sequence of events need to occur for the problem to surface?
• Do other aspects of our lives fail at the same time?

Answering these types of questions will help us to explain the environment in which the problem occurs, and correlate any dependencies. Remember that just because multiple problems might have occurred around the same time, it does not necessarily mean that they are always related.

Is The Problem Reproducible?

From a problem description and investigation standpoint, the “ideal” problem is one that is reproducible. With reproducible problems we almost always have a larger set of tools or procedures available to use to help our investigation. Consequently, reproducible problems are usually easier to debug and solve. One would assume that with the prevalence of mental illness, alcoholism, toxic masculinity, violence, and racism, and how universally recognized and easily these dysfunctions are reproducible in all other human systems that the solutions would be obvious. Solutions that work on the level of the individual will not necessarily work on the level of the collective, yet the individual’s work has a direct impact upon the collective, which may not be intuitively obvious to all.

Classic troubleshooting techniques

1. Understand the system. …
2. Understand the problem and history. …
3. Eliminate the obvious. …
4. Develop possible causes and theories. …
5. Eliminate causes, start with what is easy, or likely. …
6. Validate and document the solution.
7. Share conclusions with all relevant parties

To Reimagine Our Journey Through Consciousness

It is what it is, but it is not what it seems

—Paul Hewson

.To “follow new paths of consciousness”, while knowing that all objects of consciousness, or the “you can’t be real” phenomenon sets up quite a transformational dynamic within consciousness. If “you” can’t be real, then everything that I associate with “I” is preeminent. Every time I identify with a person, a process, or a place, I have created either a “new path of consciousness”, or I have reaffirmed some older, more familiar, potentially worn out path that I have already been traveling upon.

.”I am an electrician”, or “I am an alcoholic”, or “I am a son of Beryl and Corinne Paullin”, or “I am full of shit”, or “I am a lonely, isolated person”, or “I am angry with X,Y, Z”, or WHATEVER I associate my self, my “I am” with, either continues my path in old directions, or creates the imperative to create new words, thoughts, and experiences around a new direction. I could just as easily say “I am no longer traveling old paths of consciousness”, and then STOP thinking time-based thoughts, and rehashing and rehearsing old memories, to create a new life experience for myself. I would then have to trust in a “Higher Power”, “the Unknown”, and/or “the Mystery” to create my new “timeless self” in each unique moment.

.Some may call this process “forgiveness”.

I call this process “my miracle experiment”

——Bruce Paullin

We all love a great story  Those who have developed real insight into the story, and who can both translate the essence of an experience and convey the emotion of all of the participating characters through words, become the raconteurs of our culture.  These honored story tellers may become famous and beloved novelists, musicians and rock stars, ministers, writers of religious stories and texts, comedians, and playwrights.  The story may be about a personal or historical event, and it may be real, or fiction, but as long as it entertains, it will keep our attention.  As all of the best story tellers know, it can be important not to let the truth get in the way of telling the best story, especially if they are trying to keep our attention.

We all create stories around our individual lives, and around all of our relationships with each other, and with the world.  We also listen intently to the stories told to us  by our parents, our teachers, our religions, our history, and our society about who we are, who others once were or now are, and who we might aspire to become.  Many of our stories, both individually and those created by society for us, are steeped in illusion, ignorance, half-truths and outright falsehoods.  Far too many stories are just illusory dramas about our attempts to control others, and, sadly, our failed attempts at control over our own lives and our emotional experiences around all of these intersections, and collisions, with each other  But these stories have an amazing hypnotic appeal, especially to those who have not undertaken the process of insight and healing.  At some point in our lives, each of us must begin a “search for truth”, lest the entirety of our life experience be lived and experienced without true integrity, the potential for healing and completeness, and the best alignment with reality.

Some aspects of life just seem to elude our ability to effectively communicate around them, and never get incorporated into our personal stories, and thus add to the collective conspiracy of silence.  Also, other people’s stories and garbage gets back-filled into the holes and empty spaces within our own stories,  becoming embedded within us, and adding to our internal confusion and chaos.

Life was never an easy journey for me, and had it not been for some deep need to understand my dysfunctional process, and try to find the underlying truth amid my personal chaos, I would have passed away, silenced by the disease.  Some wounds are so deep, and primal, that just pasting new names onto aspects of the disease and creating new stories are not enough.  But it is each of our responsibilities as conscious, or semi-conscious, human beings to bring our personal truth, and our stories, no matter how incomplete they may be, to the collective experience, including our family, our friends, our co-workers, our neighbors, and our religious and political leaders..

Names and stories are only a convenience for communication, and are never comprehensive and inclusive enough to completely reveal the true natures of what they were created for in our minds to represent in the first place.  The process of naming is the way that our consciousness weighs and measures new forms of life, ideas and experiences, in the attempt to insert the unknown and the mysterious into a present context for understanding, which becomes the latest iteration of our “story”.  Naming tends to attach a dynamic process to a fixed point in time and space, always with a past frame of reference, and thus permanently lodges it in the dead past.

The act of creating stories and context, and just being conversational about the details of life does not dislodge the detritus from our field of consciousness. The Devil is in the details, figuratively speaking, and if our need is for change, we need to find a way to see under the vast matrix of details that only float on the surface on the mind .  We who still choose to name processes and create stories must also have personally explored and experienced the movements through consciousness, and found the way to the silence at the foundation of our being.  Otherwise, the process of naming, and the resulting stories that arise from naming, are just more intellectual knowledge and entertainment for a superficial mind, and will not pry open the healing doors to insight and wisdom. 

“Once I had asked God for one or two extra inches in height, but instead, he made me as tall as the sky, so high that I could not measure myself.”

—Malala Yousafzaia

The intellectual and the atheist, though possessing finely tuned minds, can never explore the mystery, and the depth, of the human soul, and comprehend that we all have a connection with Infinity.  The willing explorer of the new paths of consciousness or the mystic both have access to the limitless territory of the Spirit, and will soar to new heights and see the sights rarely seen by the rest of mankind. “

I did not develop verbal abilities until relatively late in my childhood  My sister reports that she spoke for me until I developed the capacity, or  inclination, to speak.  Once I started talking (close to age 4) I proved that I had the capacity for speech, and A LOT OF IT.  My father wondered, at times, if I would ever shut up.  I  proved to be quite precocious, once I engaged my verbal skills.  I remember that I would start talking about things that were around me, giving new information that my parents had no knowledge about.  My parents thought that there was no way for me to know anything about what I was spouting off about, so I was mostly ignored.  But I can remember how good it felt to be talking, and sharing the excitement of the magic of words exploding in my mind!

I intuited quite early that built-in to the very fabric of words is an access to imagination and knowledge beyond the word, or sequence of words, spoken.  Looking back now, I can see also the incredible capacity of the human mind to represent the real world with words and internal imagery, as well as to create false realities while remaining utterly convinced of their “truth”, even in the face of non-supporting facts.  I can remember as a young boy around four years of age having a doll named Percy, who spoke with me at times, and even spoke to me once over the telephone.  Percy was to me what “God” was to other innocent children, a reassuring voice that would speak to me, and remind me that I had value.  I almost had my sister convinced of it, as well, and she was almost six years old at the time.  So, illusions can become contagious, if not recognized, and reigned in early.

What is truth? 

Sometimes, we must remain open to a mystery that far transcends our simple explanations, as well.  This book touches extensively upon the many self-destructive and false stories and realities, as well as the mundane, and sometimes amazing, life-affirming truths, that I, as an individual person, and as a collective, acculturated human being was subjected to and consciously and unconsciously adapted to throughout the course of my life.

In some of the early times of my life,  prior to my addictive cycles, I carried with me a sense of isolation, depression, and a strong feeling of anxiety around the unknown.  From 1971 through 1987, as a practicing alcoholic and drug addict, and mentally ill human being, I lost most of my remaining freedom of choice.  I belonged to the “death wish core group” of Americans, who lived lives of desperation,  addiction, suicidal ideation, and mental illness.  We all sought an early death, either by our own hands, through our addictions, or by the poor health and relationship decisions that we continued to make.  Many of us could see the insanity of those still claiming for themselves good mental health, while the choices of those supposedly “healthy people of the world” continued to bring the promise of the destruction to our planet Earth.  While we contemplated our own end, we witnessed a world in the midst of its own collective march towards suicide. 

The story of Armageddon, as both an individual and as a collective event, becomes very real to those trapped by their own illusions of powerlessness, helplessness, and despair.  We are the loosely knit tribe most susceptible to the oppression by others, and the repression of our selves.  We are the prime candidates for political and religious propaganda.  We may seek a new tribe that gives us a sense of safety and purpose, even if our own anticipated benefits come at the expense of other innocent people or groups.  We have become limited caricatures of ourselves, as we continue to play to stereotypes that those in power have thrust upon us.   We do not have the emotional and spiritual intelligence to discern what is true, and what is false, about our selves.  The stories that continue to be told to us keep us connected with an extremely limited view of “our people”, all the while keeping us disconnected from our own true natures, and more realistic stories of ourselves.

A spiritual awakening process beginning in 1987 was the start of my own exit from the chaotic mindset that characterized my life up to that point.  Since 1987,  I have chosen to live life more fully, with enhanced personal awareness, good health, honest expression of all feelings, joy and happiness the majority of the time, and almost continuous sobriety.  My own living, dynamic story has become forefront in my mind, and having examined my life to its deepest core, I have seen what the source of my own spiritual disease and despair was.  And, I finally found a way to describe the foundational dynamics of both personal and collective consciousness that contributed to my disease, and to all of our suffering.  I need no longer be an unwilling participant and just another silent partner in the conspiracy of silence.

John 1.1-From New Testament Of Christian Bible

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Yet, another layer of the Conspiracy of Silence exists around the Divine, Higher Power, God, or Truth.  Organized religions, intellectual savants and those parading as atheists, and political powers all too often obfuscate the truth that underlies all of our existence. When Pontius Pilate asked Jesus

“What is truth?”,

Jesus, as the story goes, could only be silent in the face of the greatest power of the day.  The question “What is truth?” was intended as mockery, and that principle continues to this day. Speaking truth to power is not an easy or automatic proposition, no matter how “enlightened” one might appear to be.  Truth is more like a continuous rainfall upon rocky mountains.  It does not immediately displace all of the sharp, dangerous edges of eons of ignorance, but, over time, it finally erodes the roughest of terrains, and exposes the deeper layers of existence where a new level of experience is to be found.  Those who are not patient will be mortally wounded by thrusting themselves too aggressively against our human monuments to stupidity and ignorance that often act as the controlling religious, political, and economic powers within civilization.

Those who touch the Infinite relate back to the world the ineffability of the experience, though they have been deeply impacted by that contact.  The universe of Spirit defies rationality, though it will eventually speak intelligently through the healed human mind.   First, the mind has to be properly prepared, and then it must be willing to communicate, no matter how mighty the struggle may be  to interpret or express its energy.  But if the mind is overburdened by education, knowledge, religious and cultural inculcation, the Infinite will be speaking through distorted measures of reality, creating illusion, deception, and delusion. 

LDS–White Jesus Approved

A look at Joseph Smith and his revelations, and the LDS movement that subsequently arose from this process,  is a great example of the corrupted marriage of spirituality and truth with hallucination and delusion, producing its inevitable spawn, toxic religion and cults.  This type of spiritual corruption only further confuses and alienates those seekers of a deeper truth that are still in possession of keen wits. Would anyone like a serving of golden plates, from which the “Book Of Mormon” is based upon, or Jesus appearing in the wild west of America, say, two thousand years ago?  The sirens of my “bull shit detector” continue to go off loud and clear, whenever I hear these stories.  And don’t forget to tithe your ten percent, or your next of kin will hear about your “lack of faith” at your own funeral (yes, I witnessed this in an abominable eulogy at a funeral for a co-worker, who had committed suicide).  Like our mothers sometimes said:

“Oh, and always wear clean underwear in case you are in an accident! “.

It is time for the Church of the LDS to change their dirty “underwear”, because their delusional stories have created quite the mess in human consciousness, and this philosophical buffoonery is an accident waiting to happen to all of its adherents.  The Church, and its community of well-meaning human beings,  may have done a lot of good over the years, but that has to be balanced with the corruption in consciousness itself that this tribalistic cult creates and maintains.

On June 1 of 2018, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – or the Mormons – will celebrate the 40th anniversary of what they believe to be a revelation from God.  This revelation to the then-President of the Church Spencer W. Kimball – which is known as “Official Declaration 2” – reversed longstanding restrictions placed on people of black African descent in the church.  I believe this history illustrates the struggle the Mormon church has had with racial diversity – something that the church leadership still grapples with today.  Racism, patriarchy, sexism, misogyny, fantasy, and errant nonsense are built right into the very fabric of this corrupted belief system.

All religions promote the hope that humanity has a capacity for love and healing.  The simple truth behind Christianity is that we all have divine heritage, though we may be still struggling with our human experience.  Ignorant Christian philosophers,scholars, and ministers continue to interpret and promote the Word as having its expression only through Jesus Christ.  In their minds humanity remains relegated to outcasts from the “Garden Of Eden” and we will all remain on the outside of the universality of our divine heritage and potential for eternity until Jesus is accepted as our personal savior.  There are many other errors in spiritual discernment in addition to this one that continue to be propagated, especially all of the nonsense that is promoted around the concept of Armageddon.  This is important, because these beliefs contribute mightily to the Common Knowledge Game of human perception, which is a socially and culturally inculcated system for assessing and judging against all others unlike the observers.  

Most of the world does not hold the belief in Jesus as the Savior, though many of us have been victimized by those with such a vision!  With our American judicial and political processes still impacted by, and in some cases dominated by, so-called “Christian ideals”, it is easy to see the potential for collective persecution of and discrimination against those not conforming to these ideals and dogmas.

And, much of our American religious landscape remains dominated by blind adherence to  patriarchy, which manifests through toxic masculinity, toxic capitalism, and toxic religion, with their qualities of misogyny, white supremacy and its outright hatred or indifference to others unlike themselves, greed and rampant selfishness, and self-destructiveness, and all of the planetary destructive evil that emanates from it.  When the writer quoted from in the Bible proclaimed that we “be fruitful and multiply”, that writer did not intend for our race to become a planet ravaging virus, through overpopulation, pollution, extinction of 1000’s of species, genocide, religious persecution, greed, and competition, yet our race has been fruitful, and multiplied our collective ignorance and evil exponentially.

Religious reasoning can be oxymoronic

Prosperity theology is a religious belief among some Christians, who hold that financial blessing and physical well-being are always the will of God for them, and that faith, positive speech, and donations to religious causes will increase one’s material wealth. Prosperity theology views the Bible as a contract between God and humans: if humans have faith in God, he will deliver security and prosperity.  The doctrine emphasizes the importance of personal empowerment, proposing that it is God’s will for his people to be happy. It is based on interpretations of the Bible that are mainstream in Judaism (with respect to the Hebrew Bible),though less so in Christianity. The atonement (reconciliation with God) is interpreted to include the alleviation of sickness and poverty, which are viewed as curses to be broken by faith. This is believed to be achieved through donations of money, visualization, and positive confession.

Our blind adherence to our soulless Capitalist economic system is a force that must be reckoned with.  With capitalism now married to religion, we end up with Corporate Religion, whereby sects of American Christianity celebrate wealth and fame, and goad their members towards rampant materialism, all in the name of God’s prosperity..  These mega-churches with ministers, such as Joel Osteen, set the tone and the pace for self-glorification, materialism, overpopulation, and the continued destruction of our planet through their adherence to the Prosperity Gospels.  Prosperity is oppression, when we see the long-term effects of focusing wealth and planetary resources into the pocketbooks of fewer and fewer people, in manners that tend to increase profits and visibility for the unconscious adherents of the new Corporate Religion.  This competition for resources continues to cause our Earth to suffer, while the few prosper.  There is abject spiritual and intellectual poverty imbued within a philosophy that celebrates prosperity as a manifestation of “God’s reward for the good”, and is indicative of a larger poverty that has overwhelmed our nation, and our world.  We all need umbrellas to shield ourselves from the “golden showers” of “trickle down theories” that follow such megalomaniacal visions of privilege and power.

The fundamental oppressive force in the human universe is not our wayward religious, political, economic, or social agendas or systems, however, as the fundamental problem is within the human mind itself. Jesus Christ would be crucified again (and, in fact, the Truth continues to be sacrificed daily), and Muhammad and the Buddha, were they alive today, would be ignored or attacked, in today’s diseased, divisive, dark money controlled political, social, and religious climate. Some say that it may be time to PUNCH A NAZI, in whatever form it takes, but it is best to first master the Nazi within our own minds.

A new story needs to be told by each and every one of us, as our old stories are killing us,  both individually, and collectively.  We need a new world religion, one that honors ALL life upon the planet, and the very planet Earth itself, as our Lord and Savior. We must have a story that allows for each being to have the opportunity to live in peace and harmony, and to share in the benefits of an evolutionary consciousness.  We either grow together as a race, and as a planet, or we will not survive as a species, and, potentially, we may destroy the rest of our supporting animal species, the environment itself, and the planet.

“if you tell a big enough lie, and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed”.
― Adolf Hitler

If we tell a lie often enough, we are prone to start to actually believe it.  All of the internal defense mechanisms are engaged to support the story and to maintain the lies existence, and the corruption that living a lie creates can become part of our nature.  Be careful out there, the world, and our minds, can be a dangerous place. Unlike TV entertainment series, where the programs have the potential to resolve the contrived issues  before the ending of the weekly show, life carries our issues for prolonged periods of time, sometimes whole lifetimes, if we do not find a way to dislodge our lies, and our stories of disease and dysfunction from the cells of our bodies, and from our consciousness.  There is no freedom to be found, if we do not first see that we are trapped.

We all need a bigger story, with more heart and healing, higher accuracy, and maximum inclusivity! Pay attention  to all of our stories, many of which  have created quite the mess to sort through.  Constantly question reality,, search for available facts, and learn not to unconsciously accept statements from authority figures.  “Reality” many times, is only someone else’s opinion about “what is”, so a cautious, probing mind, not rushing to simplistic conclusions, or susceptible to popular suggestion or hypnotism, is required to maintain, or re-establish, personal integrity, healing, sanity and reason. 

What is “reality” and who am I?

Watch out, for more stories are always forming around those questions!

I am what I am, but I am not what I seem

It has been a great challenge and adventure living this life. It has also been a great fulfillment for me to have lived long enough and to have become articulate enough to be able to put into words my unique experience of life. There are many chapters to follow, where I attempt to bring into the verbal universe my extended journey into the mystery of human consciousness, and its corruption by those with selfish and self-destructive agendas.  Finding my unique story, and finding the supportive silence underneath that story, is the journey of my salvation, the hero’s journey towards healing and integrity.  Buckle up, fellow travelers, the ride is going to be a rather turbulent one at times!

SATAN’S GREATEST TEACHING (told by Jiddu Krishnamurti, original source unknown)

Satan and his main disciple were drifting above the planet Earth, and observing all of the activities that were of interest, while his student learned some more of the great lessons of the truth of the Dark Master.  One of their journeys  brought them to a single man standing in an open field, who looked up to the heavens, with a look of great relief and joy upon his face.  As Satan and his disciple looked closer, they found that the man was holding something in his hands, hidden under his shirt, close to his heart.  The man hurriedly walked back to his home, protecting his find from the scrutiny of the outside world.

The disciple asked Satan:

“What do you think that this man has found?”

“Oh, he has found Truth!”,

replied Satan, with a satisfied look on his face.

“But Satan, how can you be so happy?  Should we not be terrified by this man’s revelation?  This could spell the end of your rule over our earthly kingdom!”

“Hush, my student, and listen closely.  We are about to help him organize it”

Watch out for those bibles and religious texts, they are all not what they seem.

Please, save yourself.

Tuning Into A Wider Frequency Of Being

If it’s painful for you to hear my story, it’s OK. That’s part of the process because my story includes pain, so don’t stop listening because you are uncomfortable. If you would just move past your discomfort you might learn something about empathy and compassion and mercy and justice. —-Pastor Gricel Medinas

As a human race, all that we will ever see, unto eternity, is our Self. Can we see our Self with love and compassion today?—–Bruce Paullin

We all have access to infinity, and to each other, on levels that the conscious mind does not understand. The truth about each individual human life, and the collection that is called humanity, is that the sum total of all life influences each other directly and dramatically. Each moment of each day, our collective consciousness rains down upon us (or erupts within us) a wealth of information, and reaches our minds and “hearts”. We receive this information through the training, education, parental upbringing, media and news, the overall witnessing of life, our “dreams” and personal insights, as well as through some less obvious and poorly known and misunderstood means.

Each of us is both a receiver, and transmitter, of information. We tend to believe that the information that we are passing is exchanged solely through our words, and our body language, yet there is another level as well, a level that remains poorly understood, ignored, or even denied..We all have access to “extra sensory perception”, yet risk ridicule from many sources, including those scientifically inclined, should we ever experience its mystery and claim it for ourselves. Each of us has a life energy field, which has not yet been detected by science, but certainly has been detected by the sensitive beings within the shamanic tradition, as well as within the mystics of the human race over the aeons of the existence of life. This life energy field, or in Rupert Sheldrake’s terms, the morphic field, is the field that we not only radiate, but that we are immersed in from the collective, interacting fields of nearly eight billion other human beings now living, as well as all humans and precedent life that has ever lived.

Let me bring this discussion home for just a moment. On Sunday, March 17, 2019, I went to play cards with my friend Jim Hussey. While playing, I noted that I felt a blister forming on my forefinger on my right hand. I thought to myself that there was no way I could be developing a blister, because I had not done any work with my hands. Well, at that very moment, Sharon White was at home working outside around our home, and she had developed a blister, and noted it at the same time that day (6:00PM) that I felt the blister forming on my own finger. Coincidence?

Two years ago,in January of 2017, I started having seizures, and felt the presence of a golf ball sized black tumor in the left hemisphere of my brain. How on earth could I detect such a thing within myself without a MRI machine? I feared that I might be “losing it”, or even about to lose my own life, and was afraid to tell the doctor about it, though I mentioned to her that my dying father may well outlive me. Yet, on March 5, Marty Crouch had a major seizure, was hospitalized, and was diagnosed with a brain tumor the exact size, and in the same location in the brain as I detected within myself. And, when he described his seizure to me, I was struck by how similar his experience of the seizure was to my own. I told Marty that I felt that the black mass represented death itself, and that I hoped that it was not predictive of his immediate fate, or my own. When Marty had surgery to successfully remove the tumor two days later on Friday, the black mass from my own “life energy field” also disappeared. Marty was to die several months later, after a dramatic decline. Coincidence?

Two years ago, our dear friend June Thomas was visiting her brother Dale in Medford, Oregon. Dale was very sick at the time. In a Friday evening dream, I was in an unfamiliar bathroom, and I had fallen between the toilet and the wall. I was quite distressed in the dream. That next morning, Sharon and June talked on the phone, and June told her that Dale had fallen between the toilet and wall, while she watched helplessly. Coincidence?

Coincidences happen, and our eyes start to open to our long neglected truth. The more that we are receptive to that part of us that is truly unknown, the more we awaken to another possibility of our being. Whatever it is, and whoever it is that we are in consciousness, we also exist less consciously in realms where we have always been connected with our higher power, yet we did not yet know how to express its unique energies..

The common bond to these experiences is my empathy and love for all three people, even while they went through their own unique version of suffering. Empathy, compassion and love are the portals through which to receive the mysterious, higher level energies from our spiritual heritage. We are all connected at a much deeper level than we realize, yet we still can make this experience a more conscious one. Up to this point, I have not yet been able to apply this gift in any meaningful manner to help the human race, other than my willingness to write about the much greater undeveloped capacity of our human mind, heart, and soul. Learning to separate out from that energy what is mine, and what should be mine, from the vast sea of others’ real life experiences, as well as their expectations and beliefs can initially bring fear and a sense of being overwhelmed. And, many of the people troubled by psychosis, including variations of paranoid schizophrenia, suffer from the inability to bring order out of the apparent chaos of many overlapping realities. Yet, that understanding of the information that we consciously, or unconsciously, share with each other may well be the key to ultimate transcendence for the human race.

I don’t see our medicine and technology catching up with our innate, though neglected, abilities in that area. It is finally starting to become “common knowledge” of the importance of searching for wholeness while undertaking any important medical treatments or processes, as these endeavors complement and work synergistically with western medical approaches to healing and cures.

Theoretical physicists are now understanding that there are possibilities for alternate universes, as well as enhanced connections with the one we all currently reside within. I am saddened that mankind is becoming increasingly dependent on its technology for communication, while not concurrently developing the sensitivity to connect with the “energy” that we all share in, and with which we communicate with each other continuously. Our technology, especially the hand-held media devices that we use to entertain and hypnotize ourselves with, only serves to continue the energy of the past, without offering alternatives to the present collection of corrupted choices that humanity has seemed eternally resigned to make.

Science, though able to define relationships and the laws that dictate behavior between all observable, and quantum, phenomenon, are only now beginning to understand the ramifications of the real law of our existence, which is “all that we will ever see, unto eternity, is ourselves”. Science provides laws for what we see, yet, unlike enlightened spirituality, provides no laws predicting or supporting what is possible for humanity. Quantum mechanics will not be understood fully until the self-centered perspective towards infinity is replaced with the understanding that the collective, as well as the individual, is present in each of us, in each moment of existence. The impacts that we all have upon each other are not yet fully understood, yet prayer, meditation, and mindfulness prepare the mind for the unknown, where all true creation springs from. It is a much more collaborative effort being a human, and any other form of life on this planet, than our minimally conscious minds understand at this time. Ultimately, science and religion, medicine and technology, will all be united as manifestations of mankind’s expression of true being.

All of our “thoughts and prayers” have the potential to be of life-affirming value, yet their authority pales in comparison to the power of the underlying, unconscious intentions and manifestations of our collective consciousness and collective unconsciousness, and the infinite variations of potentially dangerous, unenlightened energies within it. I have seen that there are multitudes of suggestions and temptations floating around in our collective consciousness, and far too many of them revolve around diseases of the body, diseases of the mind, and rejection of our spirit of love. Yet,within that misunderstood and mysterious energy field, lies an infinite potential for healing and transformation, as well. The path towards conscious awareness, and “miraculous healing” includes sorting out what are our true thoughts and intentions from the collective stray noise of the human energy field, and how we can protect ourselves from all of the dangerous frequencies that we all tune into, intentionally or inadvertently.

Can we experience a spiritual apocalypse where we accept a new way way being, of seeing life, and finally remove ourselves from the limitations that our time based thinking has created for us? Can we come from a place not from our conditioned backgrounds, our upbringing, our wounding as children, our PTSD as adults, or even our most educated, intelligent parts of our training? Will we allow for ourselves the immense uncertainty, and the ultimate privilege, of accessing new paths of consciousness where love, empathy and compassion are our eternal companions? Will we allow our energy fields to resonate with the highest potentials for human experience, to even approach that of our purported divine nature? If we could move past our collective, and individual, discomfort we might learn something about empathy and compassion and mercy and justice, and even connect with a majesty and a miracle that far transcends our limited vision for life. We might finally know “God”, “Buddha”, Allah”, “Vishnu”, “Shiva”, “Krishna”, “Jesus Christ”, “Mohamed” and “Our Self” not as separate concepts, but instead as all part of a great holism.

To not do so is to continue our collective misanthropic experience of war, hatred, enmity between nations and peoples, destruction of our sacred planet Earth, economic inequality, racism, misogyny, diseases of all manners and types, and mental illness. We are free to choose what energy to manifest, and to access. If we do not want the damaged, diseased status quo to continue unto our collective Armageddon, then we will all make necessary changes to the paths we are now following, and/or we will follow completely new conscious paths of experience..

For I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind. —– Isaiah 65:17

Always remember that WE are the “I” in Isaiah 65:17, when we finally make conscious contact with the ultimate truth of being and existence.

I have attempted to “capture lightning in a bottle” by articulating this message. May each of us never despair of our faltering attempts to reach towards this infinite energy and to express its love and wisdom. To have a better life, we have to access new parts of our infinite self, and travel on new paths of understanding. A primary law of consciousness is that “we find what we are looking for”, so make sure to look for what we really want, and not fall victim to the suggestions of others that don’t always have our best interests at heart.

Very truly I tell you, whoever makes conscious contact with the truth of their real self will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because we are all birthed from infinite power. And the miracles that we perform are to bring the highest glory to our lives, to the lives of all others, and to the transcendent energy from which we have arisen.——-Jesus Of Nazareth, from John 14 12:14, (spiritually reinterpreted).

When we decide to no longer be the victim, we can finally be the victor. Life can be lived on wider and wider frequencies of energy, where meaning, personal value, and loving service to others will bring to each of us all of the resources that we will ever need to live a successful life.

Can anyone conceive of the life where our hearts are opened so wide, that we literally feel like they will explode from all of the love that we now are able to share? Can anyone conceive of the life where our possibilities for understanding and experiencing more of the mysteries of the infinite nature of the interior universe finally becomes common knowledge?

We must not give up before the Miracle appears in our life, and in all of our lives which are impacted by our own.

Can we envision a more challenging, yet beautiful experience for ourselves, and for the planet?

What better reason for living can there possibly be?

(the following is an excerpt from Guideposts magazine online)

Many theologians believe dreams are one of God’s primary ways of getting our attention. So could God be trying to tell you something while you are sleeping? Here are six spiritually significant dreams that may be more than meets the mind’s eye….

1. Visitation Dreams
According to neuroscientist Patrick McNamara, it’s common to have a visitation dream after a loved one passes. The deceased often appear in bodily form, healthy and luminous, in order to communicate an important message: “I’m okay.”

2. Prophetic Dreams
A survey from psychologist David Ryback found that 8.8 percent of respondents had a “dream that came true.” Expert Sue Llewellyn hypothesizes that our dreams use our past experiences to produce a probable series of future events—showing us patterns that help us make better choices when we’re awake.

3. Warning Dreams
God—and your body—can sometimes speak in dreams to warn you about imminent danger, especially regarding health. You may dream of a specific body part or even receive a verbal warning. In a 2015 study of women diagnosed with breast cancer, 83 percent had dreams that were more vivid than normal. And 44 percent reported hearing specific words like “breast cancer” or “tumor.”

4. Healing Dreams
Expert Tallulah Lyons describes healing dreams as those that bring you from an “out of balance” place into “harmony and balance.” They often involve a mystical encounter. Lyons documents the case of one panic attack sufferer who dreamed of an otherworldly white stallion that led her to a meadow, filling her with peace.

5. Heavenly Dreams
According to a 1989 study, more than half of healthy young adults who dreamed of death spent a significant amount of time in that dream in heaven. These dreamers sometimes go down a tunnel or pathway and arrive at heavenly destinations. They also frequently encounter deceased loved ones.

6. Mutual Dreams
A mutual dream is when two people—typically in separate locations—dream of the same thing at the same time. According to a 2017 study, shared dreams are 80 percent identical on average. They often occur between close friends or relatives. Interestingly, 4 percent of these dreams are shared by “nonfamiliar people.” (article end)

Wisdom and insight are available through our “dream channels”. Atheists and agnostics have the same capacity as the saints, as far as the ability to access dream wisdom goes. One of the more amazing dreams that I have had in recent years was the previously mentioned dream involving June Thomas’s brother Dale. We are much closer than we presently believe, and our beliefs keep us more separate as a human beings, than together as spiritual beings. June is much more like me, and attuned with me, than I am comfortable with, some times.

The same is true of ALL OF HUMANITY.

Which frequencies of life are we attuned to today?

Please, save yourself.

Flying With A New Flock

“Our lives begin to end, the moment that we become silent about things that matter”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

When I became sober in 1987, I did not have a whole lot to talk about, except while with other “recovering” individuals. And, I had such a change of mind and heart, I did not have much of a story to tell about my “present moment experience” either, not having the new language to surround the new energy with. This becomes an unintentional part of the “conspiracy of silence”. Stories get developed after the fact about our life experience, unless we are patterning ourselves from the disfiguring stories thrust upon us by our families, our religions, our cultures, and our diseases. In these cases, those outdated stories became the structure that we attempt to weave our new life experience around, and thus we don’t really ever get to fully claim, or find our own unique identity, or story..Our initial stories in recovery may start with the repetition and rehearsal of the painful stories of suffering from our pasts. There is short-term value in sharing stories of this nature, and after a healing period, we should feel no guilt or shame in revealing those parts of ourselves to others…

Most people love a good story. Even the belief in God, whether or not “God” actually exists, has its own origins in the need for mankind to create a story around its own origins, and to give its existence some sort of context and meaning. I have read about and heard from a few parents that their young children were so close to “God”, that when they first learned to talk, they would tell their parents about talking directly with God, or hearing God talk to them (or Jesus, or whatever their cultural background would predispose them to refer to). I did not have that experience as a youth, and, in fact, I was so far from that experience that I could not fathom the possibility of such a “miracle”. For me, my bullshit detector would sound off long and loud whenever I heard such a story.

I would be cast out of our home to the garage at night when I was a baby, because I cried almost non-stop, and my crying kept my father from sleeping. I was wrapped in a warm blanket, and kept in the car in the garage, so there is the beginning of my sad, “Godless” life experience. When I was still a boy, up to nearly nine years of age, it was I who nightly had horrible nightmares so terrifying that I could not get out of bed to go to the bathroom for fear of what was going to get me from inside of the closet, or under my bed. There was nothing “heavenly” about my birth or early childhood, and, in fact, I was on the opposite end of the peace spectrum from those other lucky, supposedly “divinely blessed” children. Attachment theory advocates would have a field day with this aspect of my story, for sure!

As a young person, I never completely accepted the world outside of our family, as it was too over-populated with men affected by what I now know as toxic masculinity. There were quite a few friendly adults sprinkled in who were my parents’ friends, or who were relatives such as my aunt and uncle, or my grandparents.. Dealing with my peers was a different story, however. I was not equipped to successfully deal with many of those interpersonal challenges. The thought of becoming an astronaut, and traveling through space far away from this planet, motivated me to excel in school, in both mathematics and science. I saw scholastic excellence as my ticket to get free from my “social dis-ease”, and my sense of disengagement from the resident aliens who also shared planet Earth with me. I longed for a way “to get off of this fucking rock”.

My life prior to drug addiction was quite lonely at times, especially while living in our West Linn home along the Willamette River, but it was interspersed with many “happy spells”. When I was not in the outdoors climbing trees, building forts, riding bicycles, or exploring fields, forests, or islands in our neighborhood, I would spend copious amounts of time reading. The steady reading of fictional books, especially science fiction, enabled me to take vacations from a world that never seemed to me to be very welcoming..

One of my favorite SF books was Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein, which I read as a twelve-year-old boy. In this book, the main character, Michael Valentine Smith, is adopted by Martians after the death of all Earthlings except for baby Michael on a Mars mission that had crashed upon landing. Michael learns from the Martians, who end up raising Michael until near adulthood, that all, ultimately, is God. Michael was eventually rescued, and returned to Earth. When Michael proclaimed to all of Earth’s inhabitants after his introduction back upon Earth that “Thou Art God” I had my first ever feeling of hope that there might be a God available to be present in life, maybe even in MY LIFE. I read that book over and over again, as it gave me so much hope, but the hope, with its concurrent “God chills” or horripilations, were ephemeral, and did not last long after each reading of the appropriate passages in the book. It was with this book that the seed was planted for the idea that the search for God may well be my ticket out of my loneliness and misery, that the search must somehow begin and end within myself..

In the era of my life from 1971 to 1987, I led a highly dysfunctional life, becoming addicted to alcohol and drugs by age 15. I was hopelessly addicted from the start, and I knew that I would either die as an alcoholic/addict, or I would kill myself by age 30, if I had not yet recovered from my disease. What I did not know was what would happen if I survived my affliction, what kind of life there would be for me to live, and what kind of person that I could become. I had made no preparations for how to live life without substance abuse, nor would I, at least initially, have adequate language to describe my hopes for the sober life, other than in the simplest, vaguest of terms.

With the exit from Portland’s underworld community, in 1987 and my own exit from the drug-induced and culturally inculcated insanity, a new world waited to welcome me, but it did not just reach out and grab me by the hand, and lead me down the path to recovery and reintegration back into the community. With all that I have previously written about the time beginning with recovery from addiction and alcoholism , it would be a mistake to assume that I was totally conscious about what was going on, and the direction that I was headed from 1987 forward. All that I knew was that after I had made “conscious contact with the God of my understanding”, my old life seemed to disappear. I had an ability to describe the world that I had left behind, but I had no language to describe the new world that I was entering into, or the new experiences that were unfolding in the new life of sobriety. I had never felt like I was an accepted and honored part of the outside world in the first place, so finding my new people, and my language, were important endeavors to me, once I was firmly on the path to sobriety and enhanced spirituality.

This desire for a loving integration into the wholeness of life arose several years before, when I yearned for peace. While addicted, I could not fulfill the conditions for its experience. The transformation was many, many years in the making, but when it appeared within me, I was no longer tormented by my social insecurities, or my feeling of disconnection from God, my fellow-man, or from the plants and animals that grace this beautiful planet that we share. Somehow, I had “let go of the controls” of my old ego state of mind, and a new order started revealing itself, from moment to moment. At times I felt like a “guided missile”, never knowing the destination for my life, but trusting whatever it was that had launched my new life into existence would get me to the right place at the right time..

I still had memories of my former life, yet they no longer informed my day-to-day thoughts, my decisions, or my overall outlook on life and love. I did not know who the “new me” was, though the “new me” always had a smile, and felt continuous joy. I had a series of spiritual upheavals which defied my rational mind, and I did not have the words to describe or contain the experience for many years to follow. It was as if a new person had landed in my consciousness, the “old me” had died, and now I was informed, moment to moment, by a powerful force of peace or silence, or Love itself.

Before 1987, there were “many people with their disfiguring concepts” roaming around in my mind, but now the “committee of many” had permanently adjourned, and there was only one peaceful presence, a new ordering principle for my consciousness. And not only did I not have the language developed for the new story, the small story that I did begin to tell did not necessarily meet with a friendly reception from others. When I told my story, I would usually be met with silent stares, a quick change of subject, or general disinterest., though a friend from a men’s group claimed that I was a “walk-in”, a term used to describe when the old ego departs a body, to be replaced by a new being.

My family still saw me in terms of the past, for the most part, as my history created great scars on the psyche of fellow family members, as well as the friends and acquaintances of my years prior to recovery. But, they could appreciate that the “new me” no longer required their extra concern or care, as I was now an independent, upright, fairly conscious human being. I made healthy choices in my relationships, and I chose a new, fulfilling career to replace all of the career wreckage from my past. I was but a boy again, though, while still learning the ropes, meeting new friends, discovering new possibilities for myself and others, and, occasionally, still sipping from the inner healing springs of the Miracle that can quench the spiritual thirst of all who seek it out.

This new being, this upgraded Bruce 2.0, which appeared in the summer of 1987, was like those miracle babies and children that I had always envied, and doubted. During most of the time after June of 1987, until I met my present wife Sharon in August of 1989, I spent over six hours a day in prayer and meditation, and probably as a result experienced blessed states on an almost continuous basis. I now “heard and felt” God, and I was taught on the inner spiritual plane about aspects of life, and consciousness, that I had no way to learn or know about otherwise. This was not a “Christian” God, or a “Jewish” God, or the Buddha Mind, or “Christ Consciousness”, but those names certainly pointed to the new reality that I had somehow accessed, and been dramatically changed by.

As hard as it is for me to write about this now, or, understandably, for the reader to believe this story, I was taught by the “Master Teacher”, whoever, or whatever, that might be. We all have access to this “inner wisdom”, yet it lies, mostly ignored, in the inner recesses of our hearts and souls, for much of our lives. I was given a new blank slate to write my new self upon, a new possibility for living, and being, in this world, aided by this new connection with my own wisdom. The world that I once wanted to depart from so badly, was now paradise on Earth, and I knew that Heaven was not a concept for the future, but a living reality only for the present moment. But, I could not carry the “old me” into that world, I had to leave ALL of my verbal and non-verbal memory possessions behind, so to speak, to stay in tune with the new Spiritual music.

I have noted from my understanding and experience of others who have had dramatic spiritual experiences, is that, initially, they experienced a state of being poor communicators around the event. This lack of articulateness is quite a common, for several years that follow such an upheaval. Those that have a strong religious background try to use the language of that system of thought to interpret and communicate their own unique opening. For those who do not have a well established religious background, or who might need other language or images to convey their experience, the search through historical literature to see what others have written about their own cosmic events have been found to be helpful. There is an attempt to try to use a language that others might understand, but, unless they too have had spiritual lightning strike them, the search for an equally enlightened/awakened peer group is liable to be fairly unsuccessful, at least initially. Then there are also those who just throw up their hands, and give up on the idea of ever communicating with others about the transcendent state. And, finally, there are those whose minds are irreparably damaged by the experience, and though they may remain “connected to the Spirit”, their behavior and style is indicative of a person who is insane, and operating well outside of socially and culturally accepted standards.

I did not have the capacity to communicate with others what I was experiencing, for many years after 1987. I would refer to my “rebirth”, and talk of the “old me” with those who were interested, especially in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. The people who met me after my rebirth could not believe that I was ever addicted or dysfunctional in self-destructive or other-destructive ways, and I learned to not wave that recovery flag at every new person I met, so that they could have an honest chance of knowing me for who I now was, rather than who I might have been long ago. It was my movement through all of these new relationships which helped to define for me the “new me”, who I was now, how I now related to and appreciated others, and how I now loved unconditionally most everyone that I met. All of humanity became my brother or sister in this new reality, and my lifelong sense of dreadful separation from others had been lifted. I then set out to find “my people” and find out where I might fit into the new world order that was revealing itself within my mind and heart. In my naiveté, I assumed that most others naturally came by this understanding, and that I was finally catching up, spiritually, with the “normal folks”, the folks that never were so unhappy as to consider alcoholism, drug addiction, and/or suicide for themselves.

I eventually became active in the great outdoors again through hiking and backpacking, I resumed bicycle riding with an association with Cycle Oregon over several years, I learned tennis, and I also ended up excelling in road and trail racing as a runner, albeit an older runner (in the master’s division), competing individually and also appearing on several championship or near-championship level Masters’ teams in both the Hood To Coast and Rainier To Pacific races. I was able have a “redo” of my life, and experience success and failure based on my own decisions, and actually glean wisdom from my interactions with life, rather than hate myself and/or others for its sometimes difficult teachings. And, yes, the new life was quite fertile ground for learning.

This new life also provided me with some of the language that I needed to communicate better with others what I had experienced on the inner plane. It also started to provide me with the language needed to describe the foundational consciousness which predisposed me, and our world to dysfunctional and self-destructive behavior, but I was not to get the full message until much later in life. Having allowed myself to return back into the world after this second birth, I subsequently gained insight into the matrix of collective human misunderstanding that was the foundation for our collective consciousness as a human race. I had no inclination to attempt to describe the “light” as the mystics and poets experienced it, for I saw the futility of that path of “via positiva” for me. My path was more towards “via transformativa” and “via negativa”, which is the path that is witnessed AFTER insight into the debris field of human consciousness is apperceived, and then healed and cleared.

What is left, after the garbage is cleared? If might be considered similar to the process of metamorphosis, which brings forth the butterfly from the caterpillar. If the butterfly could talk, I would assume that it would much rather talk about its new freedom,and the ability to fly, rather than its previous form of life sliding over the dirt Yet, the only life that the butterfly arose from was with ground dwellers, and that is where all of its past stories were created. Could you imagine that butterfly going back and telling his caterpillar friends about the potential for a new life, and what the “ground dwellers” might say in response? How about

“get lost, you were never one of us, anyway?”

or

“well, it must be nice for you to fly, but it is just not for me right now?”

or

“have you heard about the great tasty leaves that parsley plant has?”

are three potential responses from those who think that change is threatening, unnecessary, irrelevant, or impossible, for themselves.

There is new life available to all, yet I won’t devote too many words on that one. I am not a poet, and I don’t need to draw a big audience for those who are the seeker moths of our world who blindly follow the latest human “light”. The “light” is best experienced personally and non-verbally, for then there are no conflicts created between “the word” versus “the truth of the moment”. It is best to see this process for oneself. The word will forever remain a shadow, cast by the light built into the divine heart of mankind, as it tries to define the “undefinable”. Yet, if the heart is in the right place, the words formed and delivered will become attuned to and resonant with the energies pointing to healing of self and of the other.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.”

― William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

My journey of healing is fully documented in this book. I will first address the seed consciousness, the human collective consciousness, which gave rise to my own personal story, which is my interpretation of my life and of my universe. My consciousness is comprised of all of the answers that our culture, my family and I have dreamed up to some of the great questions of life. My life up to this point in time and space has been an attempt to answer the following questions, and adjust to the basic underlying principles that were supporting those questions.:

Just what is “God”, and what relationship does “God” have to reality, and to me?

What is a “well lived life”?

Who are my “people”, and where are they located?

Will I ever fit in? Will anyone ever notice me?

Why don’t I feel peace of mind?

Why do I always seem to “self-destruct” right at the moment when I am about to achieve great success?

Will I ever understand myself, and others?

Why is expressing real emotions such a double-edged sword?

Where is the love that I feel is missing from my life?

Why do I have no desire to contribute to society in a more generous, meaningful way?

Why do I feel that I have to always be competitive, or “better than the others” just to fit in?

Why do I not feel satisfaction when I achieve the greatest goals that I have set up for myself?

Why does guilt control so much of my life’s experience?

What is oppression, and what is my relationship to it?

What is repression, and why do I participate in it?

Is it possible to speak or live a lie long enough that we no longer can accept or believe the truth?

Is a person’s silence because of an absence of opinion, or from a fear of speaking the truth?

What is good “mental health”?

Why do people continue to experience poor self-esteem?

Why are some people always so angry, or depressed?

Why can’t some people be more emotionally and spiritually present for others?

Why do people feel that they need to engage in mutual “control dramas”?

Why do some men become spiritually and emotionally disfigured by their desire for sex?

Why do some men exercise excessive emotional control over their partners?

Why do people cling to certain groups of people, and reject all others?

Why don’t people get along better with each other?

Why do people endlessly pursue entertainment and/or use drugs and alcohol to excess, and ignore their own personal transformation and healing?

Why is just more knowledge so much more important than intuition, wisdom and insight to most men and left brained dominated women?

Why is collaboration such a dirty word for a national political process?

Why is competition and greed, as presently coupled with Capitalism, the predominant economic system in our world?

Why does our society, and our world, and much of the world’s population, continue to not experience peace of mind, with beauty, wonder, and the innate internal integrity of our (potentially) divine nature?

When Will America Fully Awaken?

My life story became my improving attempts at addressing these questions, and adjusting to whatever answers, if any, that came into my awareness at any particular point in time.. There is nothing really “new” being written here, though this is the most important writing that I have ever attempted. Please forgive me in advance if my insights and realizations appear obvious and simple. When they come to an innocent mind for the first time, they bring with them the sense of profundity and wonder..

I had many teachers on the “outer plane” who continued to point the way to a higher, more spiritually integrated life, while I measured their messages against what was bubbling up within my own mind and heart as my own internal answers to life’s great questions. Words started forming within my mind that were to become the verbal bridges connecting my internal “non-verbal” state of being to reach the surface of my mind and the outside world with its infinite interwoven matrices of verbal intelligence. Just sitting around smiling at people was not getting the job of connection and communication accomplished, but I was always flooded with joy, and carried a constant smile on my face, which did open many doors to friendship with others. I was no longer a sheep looking for a shepherd, as I became a more conscious wanderer on life’s path, looking for fellow travelers and collaborators to exchange companionship with while we collectively reached for our greater good.

I had no desire to fly solo, but instead to fly with a new flock, populated by those who were flying the same direction that I was guided to fly. Finding our spiritual family or core group, or “my people” is a common healthy desire for all of us. As human beings we have the potential to be “free birds” in our own unique way and manners, though we remain part of the greater “flock of life”. It is important to find, and continue to fly in, the flock of our own choice. We are social creatures, and to deny that absolute fact is to deny reality, and to deny our own greater good, and the greater good of humanity. It is a challenge to all of us to find that right group of people who our spirit can soar with. We all have tried to fly with turkeys, and that is not to be our lot in life, unless we continue to choose that for ourselves.

We are all free to choose again, so choose wisely, and fly united!

Thoughts and Prayers

The Pearl Of Greatest Price

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

—-Jesus of Nazareth

One of the quickest ways to turn off many an atheist or agnostic is to start a message with a quote from Jesus!   Our egos certainly take a liking or a disliking to certain messengers, depending upon our vision and values, and how well the messenger conforms to our hopes and expectations.  Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohamed, Kant, Aristotle, Nietzsche are all potential guides for those who consider themselves lost, which, typically, are all those still enmeshed with their ego, So this brings up a question:

Of what value to us is our ego? 

Our ego can be likened to the shell of an oyster.  The oyster shell is rarely recognized for its own beauty.  Like the oyster shell, our personality may be appealing to some, ugly to others, or just plain uninteresting.  Yet we all have access to different, unknown, and, potentially, sublimely transformative layers of our self, even though the personality often fails to consciously engage with them.

In an oyster, natural pearls form when an irritant, usually a parasite, or, perhaps, the proverbial grain of sand, works its way into an oyster, mussel, or clam. As a defense mechanism, a fluid is used to coat the irritant. Layer upon layer of this coating, called ‘nacre’, is deposited until a lustrous pearl is formed.  The pearl developed inside gives the oyster its unique value to human beings, who prize the pearl’s positive response to a major irritant in its life.  But, the shell has to be opened, for all to witness the beautiful visual delight developed and hidden within.

Ego is formed and continuously affirmed in an environment where spiritual discernment has not yet sufficiently evolved.  Our ego is our static assessment of a dynamic, changing world, and it is constantly engaged in a state of “catching up” with the truth, however that may be expressing.  It can be likened to taking a picture of a movie in midstream, and assuming that the picture represents the entirety of the movie.   Wisdom is gained through our experiences in the journey through space and time, and the reinterpretations of and the release from all of the illusory static images stuck in our memory.  Wisdom IS the perception that our memory may be clogged with a  lifetime of the accumulation of static images, all out of context with our present day intentions to evolve and heal.    Life in the Now is eternally dynamic and changing, while the fragile ego clings to its static fantasies and hopes spawned from its past.

If we resist conscious, rational change, our ego will hold onto worn out understandings of life, and become out of touch with the ever unfolding new reality.  Yesterdays truth is today’s superstition, and yesterday’s inaccurate assessment of others is today’s isolation and pain, so it is imperative to keep an open mind to change.  Otherwise, the ego will be left behind, and suffer according to the cognitive dissonance it allows itself to experience.

At all the intersections of the points of conflict between our inner world and our “outer world”, there are choices to be made.  When a conflict arises, do we resist any new message or lesson being offered by another, especially when their understanding does not conform to our own?  What about that daughter-in-law who hangs up on you, or the husband who talks more than he should, and is unwilling to change?  What about that friend or writer who promotes a way of viewing life that does not conform to our own?  These are irritants, and if we use the irritant to justify an inaccurate judgement against, or physical separation from, the offending party, we may have pushed away a layer of nacre for our own internal pearl of wisdom.  Our judgements are only verbal measurements of an ever changing environment.  Any judgement should be a temporary rest stop, to be left behind when we move in resonance with the new reality continuously unfolding before our eyes.

Change is irritating, and often threatening, to the ego.  Our egos exist to help bring context and balance between what we are witnessing now with what we have experienced in the past, to assess what actions in life we must undertake to meet our social and societal obligations.   It is our minds conscious attempt at bringing a balance between the world of form that we share with all of life, and the almost secret world inside of the personal mind.  We might believe that we are keeping secrets from each other, but the truth is that we all share in the vast majority of thoughts and inclinations with our fellow man  (woman), and we are only in denial of that fact when we don’t believe it and fail to act with compassion towards our self and to others.

If the oyster was a closed system, and did not allow for an internal response to irritants, whatever parasites or grains of sand that entered into the oyster might cause its very destruction.  Because the irritant has been addressed, and stabilized through the deposit of the layers of nacre, the oyster continues to thrive, though it is now growing an internal “body” consisting of the layers of the nacre, which are forming into a most lustrous pearl.

So too do we, as humans, have the capacity to make pearls. But we must approach all irritants with love and compassion, or we will produce no spiritual nacre, only more  pain and suffering.  Those with spiritual discernment are finally able to see the Pearl for what it is, in Truth.  Love, or God, takes many forms, and those with the eyes to see, and the ears to hear, witness its action through the loving co-creation of a new reality with others who are also honoring their own pearls.

Do not judge another by their “shell”, but instead, wait, until they can open their self up, and reveal the Pearl of greatest price.

Bring on the “irritants”, they are the gate keepers to the layers of God consciousness!

Our wisdom, created through spiritually discerning the irritants in life, is our Pearl.

To those who have not fearlessly faced themselves and their own personal darkness, I wish you more pain, as pain is a major gateway to personal change and transformation.  The point is to learn meaningful lessons from the pain, and not assume that it arose out of nowhere.  Unaddressed pain tends to take over small centers within the mind, and over a period of time the traumatized mind loses its ability to be an avenue of present moment awareness, and it becomes fixated upon a past that cannot be healed. 

The institutionalized pain embedded within our memory becomes virtual scabs over our unexamined wounds.  Are we just forming scabs that only partially cover our wounds, or are we facing our brokenness, in spirit and in relationship, which contribute to the formation of a healing spiritual nacre within our own mind and hearts.

But truly, what is the pearl of the greatest price?

It is your pearl, strung on the same string with the rest of humanity.  Our stories imbued with collective wisdom creates the necklace of ultimate value.  We must each build our own unique consciousness of truth and love.  Then, each of our stories can become the nacre for

THE PEARL OF GREATEST PRICE,

which is the story of the ever unfolding wisdom of mankind.  Some call this the Christ consciousness, the Buddha mind, or God consciousness.

Wear that necklace with love and compassion!

Wear that necklace with discernment and the applied wisdom of all ages!

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces”

—–Jesus of Nazareth

But, we still need to be careful with who and how we share our best lessons and messages with.

There are those who are so offended when their religious fantasies are challenged, that they might seek for your crucifixion, and speed your passage through those “pearly gates of heaven”.

We are just growing pearls everywhere, aren’t we?.

Please, save yourself