Dream: I am in the midst of thousands of people. Everywhere I walk, there are thronging crowds of human beings. I wander over the entire city of Portland, meeting the multitudes, yet nobody recognizes me. I feel an oppressive loneliness, wondering why nobody sees me. At the end of the dream journey, a man walks up to me, recognizes me, and states:
“You are in the greatest of pain. Your loneliness is killing you. I found your hat that you misplaced, please, find a way to no longer need it, for your life is dependent on overcoming this need to hide yourself”.
The saga continues:
Loneliness, irrepressible loneliness, is what characterized my life prior to my entry onto the path of recovery. Recently, the US Attorney General stated that loneliness is the number one health issue facing America. Based upon my travels through this country and what I have seen so far, I agree.. Many of the effects of trauma, the .loneliness, grief, loss of meaning, lack of spiritual connection with others, and despair drove me to an attempt at suicide in 1986, and placed me on a remarkable search for truth.
My “search for truth” is an approximation of the journey of Theseus, and his willingness to enter the labyrinth, to, ultimately, confront the Minotaur. Or, in the Judeo-Christian culture, it is equivalent to attempting to return to the ‘Garden of Eden’. Each myth represents a real spiritual phenomenon, disguised in the form of ancient narratives.
It is in “knowing thyself” that one finally comes into conscious contact of what is the foundation of our own limited sense of self, so that we can mindfully manage and consciously dismiss those lies generated from our own traumas. Our unconscious traumas, many of which have been internalized since birth or before, are guards who stand at the gate preventing our access to our higher possibilities. When we remove those guards, we access the sacred, and secret vault that is within. We are then free to wander upon new paths of consciousness, where spiritual prosperity reigns supreme, and “the Universe and God” may reveal our true nature.
This message was attributed to the Oracle, and inscribed at the Temple at Delphi, in Greece. Note that wisdom states to first know thyself, and then the knowledge of the Universe and God may become available.
How do we better learn about our self, to “know thyself”? Asking pertinent questions, and seeking truthful answers, will take us a long way on the journey of self knowledge.
- Does love come to, from, or through us, if it ever comes at all?
- Why does the racing, turbulent, “monkey mind” develop, causing deprivation of peace of mind and the absence of sacred silence?
- Why do many decent, caring people remain unacknowledged for their worth by their communities until their final eulogy?
Do you have any interest in finding the answers to these questions, and do you perceive that they are related to each other?
If your answer is “YES”, then you are already on the path to healing.
The empyrean realms of human experience are reserved for those willing to consciously unhitch their spiritual wagon from their troubled pasts and skewed understanding of life. In the lifetime journey of self discovery, therefore, some of the hinterlands remain beyond the reach of those not in search of such realms, such as the profoundly wounded, the superficially oriented, the indifferent or the spiritually antagonistic traveler. There must be a deep desire to see beyond the limited vision of the self, to get to the deeper reality hidden within the soul. There, the potential for an inspired and higher powered human experience lies buried under the detritus of a traumatized history. This can be perceived as being dangerous territory for the uninitiated heart and mind, and often elicits fear and distrust of the process, even though profound healing may result from this interior journey.
The awareness and the healing of childhood trauma places us squarely on new paths of consciousness, which leads us into sacred realms.. Without such freeing insight, we continue on the older, more familiar paths of painful existence, where replication of errors of perception continue, suffering predominates, and the profane reigns supreme.
For most people, healing requires perseverance and patience, to bring the us the fullest measure of healing. And, until the final release from ego’s grasp, we must remain vigilant through insight and mindfulness, catching ourselves whenever we stray back upon the old paths. I took several photographs of my baby and early childhood self, and grieved with these images of self my loss of innocence and healthy self-esteem.during the early years. It is heartbreaking work, and the floodgates of tears opened up, threatening to drown me, Yet, this grief, like the unexpressed anger, are the most important contributors to the letting go of the old, familiar lonely path of feeling ignored and unloved by the world.
It is important to acknowledge that we tried to love ourselves since birth, and we also tried to love those who did not appear to return it back to us.
The truth is that our world does not heal, until we do.
The new name for the guards preventing our entry into our eternal self is Loneliness, Anger and Grief. We must identify their source within us and face them directly, without judgement or condemnation, or we will be prevented from assuming our rightful place in the spiritual universe.
We can’t give to others what we do not feel to be true about our self.
We can save the world . . . from our limited sense of self.
Our loneliness, anger and our grief are the keys to the door to our lost kingdom.
Once the inhibiting power of trauma is recognized, the desire for freedom erupts, In the seeing of this embedded trauma, the seer is transformed, eventuating in liberation of the heart and mind from the pillories of the past.
The Universe and God preexisted our civilization and our religious and philosophical misinterpretations. Our unique self preexisted our family and our culture’s misinterpretation of who we really are.
The journey of a thousand lifetimes culminates in the union of the Universe and God, and our unique Self.
Look out from our new eyes. As far as we can see, unto eternity, is our Self. How we see our self today determines the quality of our life, and of our relationships.
