MIND (a poem)
The Master Power that molds and makes,
And Man is Mind,
Evermore he takes the tools of thought
And shaping what he wills,
Creates a thousand joys,
A thousand ills,
He thinks in secret
But in comes to pass,
Environment is but his looking-glass.
James Allen (As A Man Thinketh (1902))
AA Tradition Twelve
“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”
The following post is mainly informational, and is a brief introduction to AA and its potential for facilitating recovery from addictions, while also empowering the family of the addict/alcoholic that still suffers. Though there is nothing really “new” in this posting, this is the most important blog and Facebook post that I have ever made. But, in your own experience, if you have never dealt directly with a drug addict or alcoholic, or had a desire to search for a new understanding and/or direction for your own life, this message may carry little or no meaning and value for you.
Individuals who are addicts/alcoholics and who are not yet ready to face their shame, guilt, fears, and insecurities consciously will not have an easy time of it in AA. There are other methodologies for achieving and maintaining sobriety, and the technique chosen should be wisely considered based on personal needs and philosophies-or lack of them. For those who just want to treat the body, and not the mind or Spirit, there are injections available to reduce alcohol and/or drug cravings, which may be all that the sufferer needs for now, especially if they have little inclination towards personal awareness, insight, and spiritual evolution. Vivotrol/ naltrexone have been found to be effective for both alcohol and opioid addictions, so talk with your health care professional.
Most of my grade school and high school friends have already suffered, and died, from this disease. Having just last week visited a cousin who was comatose and near death from the DT’s in the ICU, and buried another drug addicted cousin last August, and witnessed two close family members who are co-enabling alcoholics plying their self-destructive trade over the Christmas holiday in Arizona, not to mention our own grandson who has been addicted to pot and other substances since he was 11 years old, I can’t ignore this disease of the Spirit which has taken over our country.
Each of my substance abusing family members knows of my own drug addicted and alcoholic background, and so far has had ZERO use for my experience, strength, and hope in sobriety, showing that my “process for recovery” has little or no value for a diseased mind (not to mention the fact that I may not be accepted as an integral part of the present family structure). A common statement uttered by a practicing alcoholic/addict is “I don’t have a problem”, or, “he/she is the one with the problem, not me!” Denial of the facts of addiction, and justification for continuing unhealthy behaviors, results in the creation of the “fake news” that they don’t have a problem with drugs and alcohol, and this sad fact remains a constant for most sufferers of addiction.
It is extremely difficult in finding a way to reach an individual who has unconsciously made a decision to slowly and painfully commit suicide through their addictive cycles, while they remain in rigorous denial of that fact. Each alcoholic and drug addict must find their own unique “bottom”, where the pain of the disease causes a change, or turning point, in their lives. Insanity, loss of job, loss of family, jail, DUI, threat of death, or near death experiences, and deaths of close friends or family members also suffering from addiction have been known to bring the desire for healing to addicts/alcoholics. Personally, it took all the previously mentioned negative addictive cycle outcomes to convince me to change behavior. Also, coordinated interventions by concerned family members and friends have been known to work, as well. I would have hated to have had such interventions, but an intervention may have saved me from years in hell. Living in hell for an extended period of time helped me to seek for a deeper light, so the jury is out as to what method would have been more effective for me in the long run.
The intention to heal can carry almost anyone to their own unique “promised land” of recovery. The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is an effective tool to enable the seeker of recovery to stay on a steady path towards that end. The 12 steps will be itemized below, and they are included in Chapter 5, of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. The following is the beginning few paragraphs of Chapter 5, which are read at the beginning of each meeting of 12 step recovery groups (as recalled from my memory. HOW IT WORKS may not be 100% accurately recreated here. In 1987 I memorized it for my own benefit, and I have not updated my memory for quite some time).
HOW IT WORKS (start of chapter 5)
“Rarely have we seen a person fail, who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot, or will not, completely give themselves to this simple program. usually men or women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault, they seem to be born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner using rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover, if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided that you want what we have and you are willing to go to any length to get it, you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked, we thought that we could find an easy, softer way, but we could not. With all of the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be thorough and fearless from the very start. Some of us tried to hold onto our old ideas, but the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember, we deal with alcohol (drugs, and or self-destructive behaviors), cunning, baffling, and powerful. Without help, it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power, that One is God, may you find him now. Half measures availed us nothing, we stood at the turning point. We sought His protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps that we took, which are suggested as the program for recovery:
1). We admitted that we are powerless over alcohol (drugs, or other self-destructive habits), that our lives had become unmanageable
2). We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to Sanity.
3). We made a decision to turn our will, and lives, over to the care of the God of our understanding.
4). We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
5). We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6). We became entirely ready to have God remove all of our defects of character.
7). We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8). We made a list of all people that we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9). We made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them, or others.
10). We continued to take personal inventory, and when wrong, promptly admitted it.
11). We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding, praying only for knowledge of his will for us, and the power to carry it out.
12). Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other alcoholics, and practice these principles in all of our affairs.
Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.’’ Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He was sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step 3″
(end of How It Works, from Chapter 5)
We read that portion of Chapter 5 at the beginning of each meeting.
The AA promises (from the Big Book):
“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”
(end of AA promises, and end of quotes from the Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous)
“Higher Power”
Note: “God” or “higher power” are terms used extensively through the 12 steps of AA. “God” can a major impediment to people’s understanding and willingness to pursue AA (it sure was for me, especially in the early 1980’s!). For some, God is simply a name for the human capacity to make positive changes in our own lives. It is not the God of religion that is sought through AA, it is the God of one’s personal understanding. Nobody in recovery needs the self-righteousness, judgement against those not yet “saved”, and the guilt and shaming of others that all too often gets promoted from within fundamentalist Churches. On the positive side of religious practice, Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Rastafarians, and Jews have all found a “higher power” to guide and direct their paths using the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as pagans, agnostics and atheists. “Higher Power” in its simplest form refers to the innate capacity of the human heart and mind to make a profound change in itself, should it make the decision, and follow through with it. Perhaps you can find a new path, too?
For me, in sobriety, “God” could never be just a man, or a “he” or “him”, but instead “God” is our collective universal life force, and the innate human creative capacity for personal change, healing and evolution, and love of self and other while practicing compassion. God, the same yesterday, today, and forever, eternally Now, eternally Love, eternally unfolding in creative new ways of being and expressing itself. The Infinite Indivisible Invisible, defies all logic, and all human attempts to categorize and control (but oh, how religions, philosophers, and scientists, and the verbally expressive part of me in this post, love to keep trying, don’t we?). We will never find God through a Google search algorithm, or through mindlessly following other people’s opinions as to what the “truth” is. It is a uniquely personal journey, and no one can do this for us but ourselves.
God must be individually experienced, and then the fruits of the experience can be collectively shared with other interested parties (AA meetings, friendship circles, etc.), to create the strongest atmosphere for healing of self and others. Our own intention must start the process, though the healing intentions of others for us, and for themselves, can bring us together into a “healing formation”, where the miracle of the collective/shared mind of a love inspired mankind can really work its wonders. Here we may actually share in the real Master Mind that has attempted to guide the human race since the beginning, since well before our present day diseased world mind took over. The right group of people, sharing love and healing together, creates a palpable energy, and this can characterize some recovery groups, depending on the quality of recovery present, and being expressed, in those groups.
I have already over-shared on the subject of God, and such writing only adds to the confusion around the subject for those who have had only “educational, cultural, or social” experiences around the concept of God, and have had no inner, personal experiences of the shared Truth and Ground of All Being (the “finger-pointing at the moon can never be the moon”). The God of my understanding defies (or laughs at, figuratively) all of my vain attempts at providing a rational, understandable explanation, therein lies the mystery and challenge of communication around our understanding of our “higher power”.
(end of my “higher power” monologue).
The compulsion to drink and use to hide from ourselves can be lifted. We can know love and forgiveness of ourselves, and others, like we thought would never be possible. We can become a light unto ourselves and others, and that light can sustain us for the rest of our days. We can be at peace, and understand, perhaps for the first time in our life, how to live life on life’s terms. We can finally find what we were looking for our entire life, so please do not give up before the real miracle of our life reveals itself. Finding God means finding our real healthier, saner self, the two just cannot be separated. Therein lies the challenge, and the growth opportunities, of living a spiritual life.
Those who find what they are looking for, find the secret of sobriety, and the secret of a successfully lived life. Happiness, joy, and freedom become our life’s most enduring companions on the journey of sobriety. Difficulties, sorrows, heart breaks, deaths, depressions, anxieties, and even relapses may still arise, but we now have healthier tools for dealing with the adversity of life. We no longer hide from life, but instead remain engaged with it. We ride Life’s occasional Tsunami waves, rather than be drowned by them. We learn that it was not Life’s loads that broke us, but instead it was the unconscious and unskilled ways that we carried them. Now we have the developed spiritual skills to successfully manage Life’s unavoidable burdens, while creating the conditions for new opportunities in life and for prosperity in its many forms, including enhancing our relationships to each other!
I did not cause or create this disease, I cannot control this disease, and I cannot cure this disease. I have had many, many years of sobriety, but I have also had three major relapses over the past 34 years, as well. I can continue to treat myself consciously and with love for this disease, and show the benefits of recovery from this disease to those who still suffer, and have interest in their own recovery process. Relapse is part of recovery (my apologies to fundamentalist AA Big Book thumpers who might disagree-yes, even AA has its own version of fundamentalists. They mean well, and they want everybody to succeed like they have). The point remains to lift ourselves up in recovery, even though we might have descended the ladder into the hell of addictions yet again. If we fall seven times, we lift ourselves up eight times.
If you still are addicted to drugs, alcohol, or other self-destructive activities, you are not without choices. We all have the internal power to change, we only need to learn how to consciously access that power which is greater than our addictions and bad habits, and express its infinite healing potential. For me, the choice became between living a “divinely (love and healing) inspired life”, or leading a self-destructive life. For those that continue to drink alcohol and use drugs to your own detriment, and the detriment of others, what are your choices?
I continue to have contact with practicing alcoholics and/or drug addicts, as well as the family and friend “enablers” that consciously or unconsciously continue to support them in their dysfunction. Enablers are not bad people, we just do not know what to say, or how to say it, to those who continue to abuse their chemical of choice. We might be hesitant to give feedback, for fear of being rejected and/or seen as being overly judgmental, or we may have become fatalistic in our appraisal of the situation, and given up hope. For some of us, we have remained silent in the face of direct threats against the continuing health and safety of our beloved family members or friends, and our own emotional well-being while attempting to remain an active part of the diseased family structure.
To those who continue to enable bad/self-destructive behavior of others, just remember that even though you did not cause the disease, you cannot control the disease, and you cannot cure the disease, by your remaining silent on the sidelines, you remain part of the denial system of the practicing addict/alcoholic. At some point, it WILL BECOME NECESSARY to confront the alcoholic/drug addict, and speak your truth. Then you will need to set your boundaries, and hold fast to them. Becoming a “black belt Alanon” may be your only hope for maintaining safe boundaries. This can include eschewing all conversations and/or physical connection with the offending family member unless they are sober, and MAKING SURE THAT THE ADDICT/ALCOHOLIC KNOWS EXACTLY WHY YOU ARE KEEPING AWAY FROM THEM.
Your own mental health and personal safety become most important, for without that, you remain a powerless part of the social and family problem of addiction/alcoholism. There are many addicts and alcoholics who have found the way to use their disease to control their family, their friends, their employers, and all of the people in their lives like they were marionettes on a string. We must not remain a functioning part of their diseased control dramas, lest we lose control over our own destiny, and sanity.
You are one of my very few readers, so I remain well acquainted with anonymity,which is one of the supporting spiritual principles for AA. My headlights shine brightly for my own “vehicle of consciousness” on my own new path of consciousness, yet they provide little illumination for others on their own unique path. This is as it should be, as “no teacher can effect the salvation of others, as we each must work it out for ourselves”. Yet, we must be willing to share our experience, strength, and hope, so that others might benefit from our journey.
We are all as sick as the secrets that we keep from each other, and from ourselves.
Choose wisely, oh mankind, the secrets that we keep,
for by our choices, we all may awaken, or die lonely and asleep.
Please save yourself
