My 66th year has miraculously awaited and finally greeted me. Odds makers probably would have placed 20 to 1 odds against me still being here.
We celebrated at KPC, an exclusive oceanside restaurant. The food divine, the company familiar and loved deeply.
Every day and year is an unexpected, though welcome, gift.
I have learned to travel a unique path out of my trauma, grief, and depression.
I have learned how precious life truly is. I actually might have accessed a smidgen of truth along the difficult, transcendent path of life.
I learned to never repress my deepest feelings..
I learned to share love without inhibition, and freely spend that divine inheritance!
I learned to forgive those who reject and harshly criticize.
I learned not to oppress others, but, if I must, forget those who zealously cling to hatred, malice, and unforgiveness, and shake the dust off my feet..
I learned to not let anything precious go to waste through inattention or inaction
I learned to love myself fully for who I am and for my infinite potential for evolution.
I learned that most people will never resonate with who I am, or the precious gifts that I have to offer.
I learned that many others have also discovered this difficult truth, and they, like myself, have dealt with it the best that they could.
I learned to see that infinite potential in all others, whether they love and accept themselves, or don’t..
I learned to collaborate on God’s infinite path with all of life.
I have learned that God is the path that we are all on, and needs no sacrifice or dehumanizing beliefs or dogma to stay attuned with.
I have learned that we need to find our unique way to bring our full self to this disfigured world, if we expect any sort of healing experience.
I learned to multiply those spiritual gifts of joy and connection.
I have learned to have fun!
If you have a song, sing it,
If you have a bell, ring it,
If you have a gift, bring it
If you find Life’s Truth, live it, don’t just sling it.
We are one after all,
You and I.
Together we suffer,
Together exist,
Forever together
We recreate each other
—‘Teilhard deChardin

 

( quote given to me in calligraphed form by my present wife Sharon 32 years ago)

Categories: Musings

Bruce

Presently, I am 67 years old, and I am learning how to live the life of a retired person. I am married to Sharon White, a retired hospice nurse, and writer. Whose Death Is It Anyway-A Hospice Nurse Remembers Sharon is a wonderful friend and life partner of nearly 30 years. We have three grandsons through two of Sharon's children. I am not a published writer or poet. My writings are part of my new life in retirement. I have recently created a blog, and I began filling it up with my writings on matters of recovery and spirituality. I saw that my blog contained enough material for a book, so that is now my new intention, to publish a book, if only so that my grandsons can get to know who their grandfather really was, once I am gone. The title for my first book will be: Penetrating The Conspiracy Of Silence, or, How I Lived Beyond My Expiration Date I have since written 7 more books, all of which are now posted on this site. I have no plans to publish any of them, as their material is not of general interest, and would not generate enough income to justify costs. I have taken a deep look at life, and written extensively about it from a unique and rarely communicated perspective. Some of my writing is from 2016 on to the present moment. Other writing covers the time prior to 1987 when I was a boy, then an addict and alcoholic, with my subsequent recovery experience, and search for "Truth". Others are about my more recent experiences around the subjects of death, dying, and transformation, and friends and family having the most challenging of life's experiences. There are also writings derived from my personal involvement with and insight into toxic masculinity, toxic religion, toxic capitalism, and all of their intersections with our leadere. These topics will not be a draw for all people, as such personal and/or cultural toxicities tends to get ignored, overlooked, or "normalized" by those with little time for insight, introspection, or interest in other people's points of view on these troubling issues. There also will be a couple of writings/musings about "GOD", but I try to limit that kind of verbal gymnastics, because it is like chasing a sunbeam with a flashlight. Yes, my books are non-fiction, and are not good reading for anybody seeking to escape and be entertained. Some of the writings are spiritual, philosophical and intellectual in nature, and some descend the depths into the darkest recesses of the human mind. I have included a full cross section of all of my thoughts and feelings. It is a classic "over-share", and I have no shame in doing so. A Master Teacher once spoke to me, and said "no teacher shall effect your salvation, you must work it out for yourself". "Follow new paths of consciousness by letting go of all of the mental concepts and controls of your past". This writing represents my personal work towards that ultimate end.