I AM (reprint)

Published by Bruce on

I AM

I am the brightest of mornings, I am the cloudiest of days,
I am the silent night altar upon which mankind prays and preys.

I am the Olmec and Mayan of times old, recent, and new,
I am all civilization’s ruins, and I am the ever-evolving life that regrew.

I am the bird’s call, I am its flight, and the wind beneath its wings,
I am the music and its spirit that joyously lifts all hearts up to sing.

I am the water, I am the lagoon and the bay,
I am the infinite ocean where my children are birthed, live, love and play.

I am the blue sky, I am the weather changes, and the gathering of clouds,
I am the lightning storms that are now appearing so dangerous and loud.

I am the wind and the sun, I am the warm soothing breeze,
I am even our cold’s most raucous cleansing sneeze.

I am the dolphin and manatee, I am the mangrove lined shores,
I am waves crashing against rocks, that photographers adore.

I am the mind, and I am the end to its lonely thoughts,
I am the heart’s loving web in which we are miraculously caught.

I am the boisterous protests, and I am the crowd made quiet,
I can be even be found witnessing the white supremacists’ riot.

I am the wealthy, and I am the hurt, oppressed and poor,
I am your heritage, history, and future until we all are no more.

I am the Sanders and Pelosis, I am the Putins and Trumps,
I am love’s warriors, and I am also hate’s chumps.

I am the Christian, and the Hindu, I am the Muslim and the Jew
I am the Atheist and Buddhist who you never thought that you knew.

I am the cancer and its treatment, I am the movement towards health,
I am the healing balm that works mysteriously in stealth.

I am the grief, and I am the pain and the sorrow,
I am the deepest well of hope from which we eternally borrow.

I am your lifetime, I am your body and its breath,
I am the blessed last moment before each of our deaths.

I am the death of the false self that leads to the only true heaven,
Our denial of this truth brings the hellish news on channel two at eleven.

I am the sacred, and I am even the profane,
I am the source of all that we treasure, resisting me only adds to life’s pain.

I am not the movement of our thoughts, while we cling to concepts of time,
I am the emergence from all shadows, we all must reach for the sublime

What is my name, and where is my place?
Being ONE is seeing Me on every smiling and suffering sentient beings’ face.

(inspired by our trip to Belize in January, 2019)

Bruce Paullin

In honor of all of the innocent oppressed, bullied, victimized, traumatized, gassed, misogynized, persecuted, marginalized, neglected, abused, murdered, alienated, and institutionalized human beings, and all of the animals that are being driven into extinction, as we are all overrun by the principles of toxic masculinity in it’s almost infinite varieties of forms.. Toxic masculinity, toxic fatherhood, and toxic religion are cultural and historical impediments to achieving and maintaining happiness and good health.

“Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10

Set out, pilgrim. Set out into the freedom and the wandering. Find your people. God is much bigger, wilder, more generous, and more wonderful than you imagined. – Sarah Bessey

See Matthew 16:26 from Bible for comparison

Categories: Musings

Bruce

Presently, I am 67 years old, and I am learning how to live the life of a retired person. I am married to Sharon White, a retired hospice nurse, and writer. Whose Death Is It Anyway-A Hospice Nurse Remembers Sharon is a wonderful friend and life partner of nearly 30 years. We have three grandsons through two of Sharon's children. I am not a published writer or poet. My writings are part of my new life in retirement. I have recently created a blog, and I began filling it up with my writings on matters of recovery and spirituality. I saw that my blog contained enough material for a book, so that is now my new intention, to publish a book, if only so that my grandsons can get to know who their grandfather really was, once I am gone. The title for my first book will be: Penetrating The Conspiracy Of Silence, or, How I Lived Beyond My Expiration Date I have since written 7 more books, all of which are now posted on this site. I have no plans to publish any of them, as their material is not of general interest, and would not generate enough income to justify costs. I have taken a deep look at life, and written extensively about it from a unique and rarely communicated perspective. Some of my writing is from 2016 on to the present moment. Other writing covers the time prior to 1987 when I was a boy, then an addict and alcoholic, with my subsequent recovery experience, and search for "Truth". Others are about my more recent experiences around the subjects of death, dying, and transformation, and friends and family having the most challenging of life's experiences. There are also writings derived from my personal involvement with and insight into toxic masculinity, toxic religion, toxic capitalism, and all of their intersections with our leadere. These topics will not be a draw for all people, as such personal and/or cultural toxicities tends to get ignored, overlooked, or "normalized" by those with little time for insight, introspection, or interest in other people's points of view on these troubling issues. There also will be a couple of writings/musings about "GOD", but I try to limit that kind of verbal gymnastics, because it is like chasing a sunbeam with a flashlight. Yes, my books are non-fiction, and are not good reading for anybody seeking to escape and be entertained. Some of the writings are spiritual, philosophical and intellectual in nature, and some descend the depths into the darkest recesses of the human mind. I have included a full cross section of all of my thoughts and feelings. It is a classic "over-share", and I have no shame in doing so. A Master Teacher once spoke to me, and said "no teacher shall effect your salvation, you must work it out for yourself". "Follow new paths of consciousness by letting go of all of the mental concepts and controls of your past". This writing represents my personal work towards that ultimate end.

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