Why Facebook?
It all started rather subtly when people began to substitute email connections and the photographic attachments to them for much of their real life social involvement. It was such a natural progression from email communications to Facebook and all other present day online media forums.
How many people on our own email list do we really care to hear from, or would actually give a phone call to, or visit with when we happen to pass by their part of the world? Do we come to Facebook just to be entertained, and perhaps educated? Do we come here to “check up” on our friends and family? Does Facebook continue to exist to serve as only a temporary bandage over the open wounds of a rampant social disconnect that our cultural, religious, and political processes exaggerate?
Why would anybody rely solely on emails, Facebook, or other online connections for life affirming connections, of which, inherently, THEY HAVE NO POWER TO GIVE? Is it the fear of missing out? Are we so busy that there is no longer enough time for committing to important relationships? Is there now an indifference to the value of old friends, acquaintances, and certain members of our families? Is the phone really the heaviest object in the universe, especially if we are “male”? Is that car drive to the other side of town to see a friend or acquaintance the same as a drive across the country?
Who knows for sure, as everybody has a unique answer, but remaining true to our own basic social and spiritual values while utilizing Facebook is an imperative. I was “duped” into using the Facebook forum, of which I had no interest in, as it was offered by our daughter-in-law as the only way to see photographs of our grandsons while they were growing up, beginning in 2011. She had cut us off from their lives, due to her own emotionally dysfunctional behavior, and we had to settle for the “scraps of information” offered by her through Facebook postings. It sure was a “bait and switch” proposition, as she, and Brad, quickly reduced their postings. I did not have a lot of interest in Facebook for the first several years, and did not learn the ropes until about 2014, after watching others’ posts over the intervening years.
With many of my friends having passed away, or left my inner sphere of connection due to the neglect brought about by enhanced care and time spent with my aging (and now deceased) parents, I no longer have of lot of my previous social interconnections anymore. But, I do not rely on Facebook for any “social” connections, nor do I rely upon emails exclusively. Those pseudo-connections are primarily reserved for those who have little time for or have expressed little interest in me or my life anymore, or vice versa. The dopamine rush from a Facebook like or love does not suffice for true sharing and mutual compassion and understanding.
These vehicles exist for many reasons, but a very important one is so that we can continue to express or write to ourselves, and somehow find a measure of satisfaction with our sometimes incomplete socializing efforts, no matter how isolated we may or may not truly be, and/or regardless of the people we may have presently surrounded our lives with. The thoughts around these issues can be rather troubling, and disheartening, regarding this technology, and the illusion of connection that it provides.
I choose to continue to use Facebook as a tool. It is NOT a crutch, or a substitute for real human companionship, connection, and communication. It remains a forum for exchange, regardless of who, or what, profits from our use of it. What do I give to the exchange? What do I receive from the exchange? If the balance tips in my favor in the long run, then it will continue to remain a tool to utilize, as I reach for my own unique goals for personal expression and creativity, or for connecting or reconnecting with long neglected or ignored family members and acquaintances. Like all things in life, if I approach Facebook consciously and with wisdom, my returns will be commensurate with my investment.
If I used Facebook for the sole intent to just get likes, or to have others ask to “friend” me, I would have been quite the unhappy fellow, for sure. Few people in my “Facebook world” have a lot of time or interest in my musings. I am not hurt or offended by that at all. I realize my own insignificance, and, at times, social irrelevance, and it keeps me humble and willing to explore deeper within my own mind and heart. I am not writing to please anybody. My own uniqueness demands expression, even though there may appear to be nobody “out there” who cares to listen, or “likes” what I have to say or do. I have had many more “unfriended” and “no longer follow” experiences with Facebook “friends” than I have had new connections the last three years, so this forum is dying in many ways for me.
Some of my best work in life has been what life (especially on Facebook) has overlooked or ignored the most, which is the way of my world. If I just wanted to be noticed and “liked”, I would just post pictures of my cat, my grandchildren, or of my vacations. As a long-term practitioner of mindfulness and personal inventory, and an expert in Recovery, Toxic Masculinity, Toxic Religion, and Toxic Capitalism, I have a lot of insight into why the world spins the awkward way it now does. And I will write about it, much to the disinterest and annoyance from some Facebook readers. The “silent treatment” that I receive from Facebook now is quite deafening, so I know that the target audience for my writing remains very close to home. But, for the one or two stray readers who wander by, I usually try to remember to get those kitty pictures and vacation photographs posted to balance the whole Facebook equation for me, and to keep my personal page from becoming perpetually serious..
The greatest challenges in life come through following, or creating, new paths of consciousness, rather than retracing the same steps that the so-called important members of society have already created for us. The ruts of society, if traveled upon too frequently by others, become deep enough to form graves for the unwary. Following others carries the risk of losing one’s own uniqueness, so we must strike out on our own, and create the conditions for own creative and spiritual “salvation”.
Please, don’t just “like” this post (or be “angry” with it). Try something “new” today, like having a dialogue directly with family and friends, and talking with a stranger or two whenever appropriate. Take out that diary or personal journal, and make new entries into it each day for one month, if even only to note the change in the weather forecast. We all long for real connection with our Spirit, both within ourselves and within our friends and neighbors, regardless of any outward appearances to the contrary.
Be a “friend” to yourself. “Like” yourself, and Love will lead the way into your own unique “promised land”. Even though, at times, I may be alone, I am never lonely, for I have found the “fellowship of the Spirit”.
That is where I now try to hang out.
This can be good food for thought, if only for me alone. I keep myself very well fed, thank you very much, in between my moments of most sacred silence. Which will lead into yet another future Facebook monologue, to be read by one or two of my most treasured of friends.
