But you can’t get to any of these truths by sitting in a field smiling beatifically, avoiding your anger and damage and grief. Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth. We don’t have much truth to express unless we have gone into those rooms and closets and woods and abysses that we were told not go in to. When we have gone in and looked around for a long while, just breathing and finally taking it in – then we will be able to speak in our own voice and to stay in the present moment. And that moment is home.
—-Ann Lamott
Anger is not a shortcoming to be denied, but a creative force that tells us when something is wrong.
– Austin Channing Brown
We have been hypnotized out of our own basic wisdom. By our need for social conformity, we have been fooled into ignoring our own intelligence and insight. If you see the Buddha or the Christ walking down the road, run away quickly, if you are to find and save yourself . We either find our authentic self, or we will remain oppressed and demoralized and fail to realize our full spiritual potential..
The Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama had an extended dialogue, which was used to write the beautiful, enlightening book called “Book Of Joy: Lasting Happiness In A Changing World”, which we recently read in our book club.
I have recreated a dialogue that I had in 2017 with Jules. a long term friend of the Dalai Lama. Jules, who I have known for over thirty years, and who co-ministered our 1994 wedding ceremony with his wife has stayed in contact with the monk for over twenty years. He visited with him in India several times, co-sponsored two of his visits to the US, and sponsored several other Tibetan monks in the US.
Jules’ views are roughly parallel to the Dalai Lama’s on many issues. Jules, and the Dalai, Lama’s, views are part of our international spiritual common knowledge, and have been completely documented within many books.
In the documentation of our dialogue together, I have edited Jule’s responses, as I wanted this written representation to be an expansive exploration and description of my own views, which have not become part of our common knowledge. I would like to point out that my perspective of life is unique, yet more closely aligned with Desmond Tutu’s, who has lived quite a complex and socially engaged life, than with the Dalai Lama’s, or my friend Jules.
I will begin with some introductory material, and then enter into the edited dialogue between Jules and myself.
Introduction
In these times when our leaders betray our trust, and when some of our fellow citizens and family members abandon all conscience and even stick out their middle finger at the truth, anger can arise. Anger can be a powerful, positive spiritual force, when expressed from a clear heart and healing consciousness. Those that fear anger, fear change, and growth. Understand anger, know thyself, and apply anger and love as liberally as is needed. Those who continue to witness the world as it currently exists, with no response other than indifference, or offering spiritually derived platitudes, have their heads buried in the hypnotizing sands of personal fantasy, and are missing an opportunity to unfold into the immensity of their power and being.
I have found that the use of anger for defensive and humanitarian purposes, and as an act of tough love is quite similar, philosophically and spiritually, as the need to use military force, and war for humanitarian purposes. However, weaponized, institutionalized, and dehumanized anger can result in unnecessary suffering and unethical wars; Christianity, Hinduism, and Buddhism, like most religions, believe that war is undesirable and avoidable. I have never been a promoter or supporter of senseless and selfish wars, yet I don’t have much use for religions, especially Christianity as it is now understood and practiced, which I do not now see as developing sufficient insight into how each of its adherents may achieve the peaceful life, thus deterring interpersonal violence or war. The corruption of their moral and ethical fabric has become so prevalent in modern society that our present political and religious mores are almost indistinguishable from each other. Just tune into Pat Robertson of the 700 club (666 club), or listen to the children of Billy Graham to get a horrifying view of the modern disease of the American pseudo-Christian Spirit. We have all been victimized and traumatized by the well-meaning, and not so well meaning, adherents of that philosophy.
All of the religions of our world still tend to guide much of the discussion about the rules for engagement with self, and the other. Religious reasoning around human emotions, such as happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger tend to be attuned to the cultures and geographic locations in which the religions are practiced the most. And, these emotions, coupled with whatever rationality and reason might still be present in the humans experiencing them, become the foundation behind all action in our world, including the search for love, family and friend connections, personal and cultural evolution, healing, crime, and war. Understanding all of these internal relationships, ie. having deep insight into self and other, is essential to establish the foundation for proper action in the world.
A great story from classical spiritual literature around human values and war comes from the Hindu tradition, and is called the Bhagavad Gita & War. In the classic Hindu text, the Bhagavad Gita & War, is documented the story of Arjuna, the fabled bowman of the Mahabharata. Lord Krishna’s view of war is revealed in the Gita. .Krishna’s obsession throughout the entire Mahabharata was to establish a society where Dharma was the guiding principle. This is a society where there is protection and happiness for all, and where people live in a balanced, spiritually orientated way, with respect for other people, creatures and all of nature…
There were two warring factions in this story, Pandavas and Duryodhana. Pandavas, consciously strove to act for the betterment of the masses rather than for their own personal gain. They were rulers who could be instrumental in bringing about such a society as Krishna wanted to create. The rulers from the Pandavas philosophy were guided by the principles underlying true statesmanship. On the other hand, Duryodhana stood for hedonism and self-aggrandizement, and is the ancient version of America’s Trump phenomenon.
There is an incident in the Mahabharata where Duryodhana complains that Krishna always favored the Pandavas. Krishna’s reply was simple – “Adopt a Dharmic way of life, and I will give you, Duryodhana, the same support and guidance I give to the Pandavas.” As such, it would have been disastrous for society if Kaurava, the legendary king of the Duryodhana, had come to hold sway over the most influential and powerful kingdom of that era. A Kaurava victory would have meant a rule of darkness over Hastinapoor, Indrapastha and beyond.
And for Arjuna, the warrior in dialogue with Lord Krishna, as a member of the “Kshatriya” or the warrior caste, fighting the battle is eminently ‘righteous’. It is a just cause and to defend it is his duty or dharma. And, he receives conscious support from Lord Krishna, who even bends the code of war to support Arjuna to defeat his foe. In this brief overview, it can be seen that Krishna’s guidance to the Pandavas reflects a universal and valid approach to certain predicaments that will always face mankind. His efforts to help the Pandavas should be understood in the sole context of the establishment of a righteous society
The philosophies behind the decision to defend ourselves, and/or our communities, from attack from others are biologically, historically, spiritually, and rationally based. Our biological natures, beginning at the cellular level with the dispatch of antibodies against foreign invaders such as bacteria and viruses, up to the threats against our lives by armed aggressors, demand that we work at self-preservation. Also, whenever there is an immanent threat against our community, our cultural and personal values and natures require that we protect ourselves from “outside threats” whenever those not from our area attempt to bring harm and/or steal resources from our community, especially after peaceful outreach and advances have been rebuffed. Just as a peace-loving community must generate a protective force against the bellicose attitudes and outside aggression of others who do not hold peace and loving communication as a cultural value, so must the individual within that community learn to entertain and balance those complex energies, in order to bring forth the most effective and life-affirming responses to threats.
So, just where does anger and love fit into this preliminary discussion? There are those who despair of the violence in society, and within themselves. They seek to go beyond this distress, yet they perceive few available options. Not knowing that the answer lies deep within themselves, they seek elsewhere, and find mentors, gurus, counselors, therapists, or methods of actually hiding from the self, such as excessive drink, drugs, sex, or the obsessive pursuit of outward accomplishments in the world. There are those who go to India to sit at the feet of the latest Master of renown, or follow the latest popular spiritual teachers, who appear to be popping up like weeds everywhere, including television and Facebook. Unless the “Teacher” or “Master” loves the great outdoors, communes with nature and its glorious creatures, hikes, camps, bicycles, and generally loves their own body, and its movement across this sacred planet Earth, they have nothing to offer to me but more spiritual “froth”. Our bodies are formed from the sacred soil of this sacred planet Earth, and those who do not honor or respect them as ONE can be no teacher for me. Finally, the teacher must appear within our own hearts and minds, and it demands of us to be listened to, or to be ignored at our own peril..
Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.
—-Saint Augustine
Dialogue between Jules and myself
The time directly preceding our dialogue was an unprecedented period in my life. After the dialogue, I will extensively develop that beautifully turbulent period in my life. The reader may ignore the last half of this extensive blog without missing out on my main message. My experience in the first few months of 2017, was characterized by prolific writing, conscious dreaming, enhanced creativity, joy, happiness, and a desire to share some of the amazing insights that seemed to be just popping up like wildflowers. I called Gary after a remarkable shared experience around the onset of a brain tumor, and its subsequent removal, in our deceased friend and former member of this book club, Marty C. I will extensively develop this aspect of my profound relationship with Marty later in this blog, under the heading ‘Marty C. and Me’.
This challenging time opened a mysterious, creative interior door within myself. The timing of our extended lunch meeting where we had our dialogue was three months after Trump was inaugurated, in April of 2017. For reasons based on his own understanding of proper attitude and action in this world, this US based spiritual guide took exception to Portland’s, and to my own, anger at Trump becoming the president.
The day before Marty’s passing
Jules founded the Universal Peace Institute, and served as its president until four years ago. He continues to host a weekly Saturday spiritual gathering in West Linn. I wanted to resume my friendship with him, and I was excited about the new energy that had lifted me into a new dimension of understanding. We scheduled a lunch meeting, and I shared my desire for continuing friendship and communication with him. In the past, I was much more reticent about sharing my insights, instead deferring to Jules and his persona of being a teacher and spiritual guide. I was much more aware of what was going on with Jules, than he was with me, so I tried to bring him up to speed a bit. We were friendly and quite engaged with each other initially. He then stated:.
.
”There is so much hatred arising within our Portland area since the election of Donald Trump. It does not matter who is the President, for our society to continue to be a loving place, the people need to reign in their emotions and follow a path towards peace and reconciliation.”
“Jules, it is unsettling to be a witness to what is being uncovered in our country right now. I had no idea of the predominance of ignorance and anti-social tendencies of many Americans. I hope that we are not witnessing the takeover of our country by a false prophet and liar.”.
“Um, Bruce, perhaps there is a different way for all of us to see what is unfolding right now. When I think of you, I think of Joel Goldsmith’s teachings. I see you as the perfect channel for the great teachings from that mystic and spiritual guide. Isn’t there a more spiritually appropriate way for you to be viewing this national process?”.
“Jules, Joel’s teachings were indeed a blessing for me in the past, but a new energy has come upon me. I have a new love offering to bring to the spiritual buffet, I think, that is much more appropriate to the times, and the situation”.
“Oh, I look forward to hearing about your experience. Have you dramatically diverged from your spiritual path, or is this just a new description for the way towards love and peace?”.
“No, I believe that a bridge to peace and healing has been provided for me to offer to those still struggling with the human condition. It is not a time for absolutist philosophies and reasoning. It is the time to acknowledge our sacred humanity, and to not judge parts of ourselves as less divine, or Godly, than other parts. This divide and conquer routine that mankind has offered to the seeker is a fragmented, unholy approach to spiritual well-being. It is reminiscent of the “mortification of the flesh” processes that even the Buddha finally renounced”. I witnessed you almost destroy your own body through those disfiguring fasts that you performed in the late 1990’s, thinking that by starving yourself, you would be closer to God. I am not sure how close to God you actually got, but you sure got close to death! The same principle applies when we try to starve ourselves of our own emotions. . . the fast fragments and eventually destroys the very fabric of our being and integrity.
“Bruce, I am not sure what you are trying to say. Can you give me some examples?”.
“Well, for instance, anger is one of our human emotions that is judged as unacceptable by those supposedly in the spiritual “know”. We are all beings sourced from the energy of infinity. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, but it certainly can be accessed, and modified to meet the need of the moment. Anger is a name given to an aspect of human energy. Anger naturally arises in human consciousness, just as does love, sexual desire, and a desire for community, peace and personal safety. I have seen how anger itself is not either bad or good, it is a manifestation of the divine impulse within all of mankind. It is a call to immediate action with complete self-awareness, and not a call to escape into other people’s ideas as to how to behave”.
“Bruce, that is an ignorant, shocking statement. The Dalai Lama himself says that anger is hatred, and that it damages the mind of all who use it as part of their life’s practice”..
“I have to respectfully, but STRONGLY, disagree, with your interpretation of what the Dalai Lama has said, or even with him, if he holds strong to that idea. This is America, Jules, not Tibet, or India. None of us were born, raised or treated like we were the next Jesus Christ, or reincarnated Enlightened One of the Buddhist tradition, like the Dalai Lama. Had he been born into my family, he would probably be speaking to you today with my point of view. Had I been born into his reality, perhaps I would be the one that you are quoting from right now. You simply cannot take a teaching like the Dalai Lamas, and apply it universally like some sort of magic salve. This is America, and we are a broken culture and civilization. Anger is appropriate and necessary in these times, as long as it is not institutionalized anger like racism, misogyny, xenophobia, white supremacy, genocide, or religious persecution. Anger born of the moment is infinitely different, and pure, whereas anger born of collective or personal memory is the source of hatred, revenge, lack of forgiveness, and what you now appear to fear.”.
“Oh Bruce, I can’t believe that you are saying this. You have changed, and I don’t recognize you anymore. Please read my book again, and, here, make sure to read some of the Dalai Lamas’ teachings. You have gone astray.”.
“Jules, no, I believe that I have found a middle path. If a stranger were to come over to our table right now, and urinate on our meals, or hit us, anger would spontaneously arise. What about the young man or woman about to be raped by a predator in a dark alley? It is that very energy of self-protection and defense, that anger, that we can channel for the good of the moment, to either inform the individual of their injustice against us, or to actually defend ourselves from the threat to our safety and well-being. To just sit there and turn the other cheek is NOT the proper response. If you believe that your thoughts and prayers could transmute the situation without action of any kind, that is fantasy thinking, and thus keeps us victimized and oppressed. We must stand up for our rights!
You have not fully connected with nor understood the inner matrix of collective consciousness that underpins the entirety of the human race, where darkness, isolation, fear, and hubris reign supreme, and operates as a strong potential energy under the surface of many men’s thoughts and actions. The Common Knowledge Game that plays out in collective human consciousness is what we have to consciously deal with. The aggressor is playing out a story that has been told and retold since man first created stories, and first lifted a hand against his innocent, or guilty, brother or sister, and either felt self-justified in doing so, or was oblivious to his own intentions. Our prisons are filled with millions of human beings who all of humanity’s best thoughts and prayers could not and did not help.
Right now, virtually all of the people who you associate with cultivate peaceful, loving attitudes, and that is just great. But there are many of us who still have to make contact with the rest of humanity, where such intentions are not even considered. I made trips through toxic male dominated workplaces, and even the underworld, where such “sacred” concepts would be regarded with suspicion, if not outright antagonism. There is a fight for survival, a fight to defend one’s tiny little plot of life, land, illusions of thought and sense of self. And there is mental illness, and an indifference to the feelings of all others who are unlike their own limited understanding of themselves. If we do not rise up and let the indifferent know not only that we exist, but we have feelings, and that we will defend our right to continue to have feelings, and existence, then those who ignorantly attempt to repress and dominate us will continue their abhorrent behavior..
Like a virus, those who oppress will be drawn to others who also have a desire to oppress, and the infection spreads through the collective mob mind. It is the feedback that we give back to them that eventually becomes part of the new knowledge for them, that others have feelings, and need to be respected, if they want to maintain some of their own freedoms. If we sit back and pray, as if the offenders already have the sensitivity to pick up on those finer vibrations, and that all they need to be reminded of is the underlying goodness of all is a self-defeating delusion, as our good intentions and prayers have little power for those people. The prayer that has the greatest power is the vocal one uttered through
THE SPOKEN WORD
We must be loud, if necessary, to remind the offender that another human being is present, has rights, and will protect itself and reflect back to the offender his own offensive energy, until the offender finds a way to present a more favorable side of himself to the rest of the world. We are part of the feedback loop for the rest of the world. We neglect our responsibilities as teachers and healers if we do not confront evil wherever evil arises. To not confront evil, or to mask it over with another name, and make it OK, as long as its influence does not directly impact us in this moment, is a dereliction of spiritual duty, and is one of the responsible parties for the continued proliferation of darkness and evil upon our planet…
Your vessel is shining on the outside, yet on the inside there appears to be an incompleteness of understanding, and of spirit. You attempt to suppress and repress part of your own humanity, and thus, the humanity of others. You are a well-meaning, but unconscious part of the conspiracy of silence, where men are made wrong for speaking or acting from their strongest emotions, through which our true spirit may reign supreme.”.
“Bruce, where you are wrong is simple. Through meditation, peace and reconciliation, we can create all of the relationships that either prevents the anger and hatred from arising that you believe that you may have to defend yourself against, or gives you a more creative, loving way to deal with the assaults.”.
“Jules, how is that working for you, and for our world, so far?”
“History shows the cyclical nature of human civilizations, with the rise of collective order, culture and spirituality, mutual trust, intelligence, creativity and the arts, and infrastructural stability, and then their decline into chaos and disorder, and then resurrection in new ways. Our own personal history parallels the same cyclical principle, except in a more compressed time frame. To be aware is to note that as far as we can see, we can only see ourselves, and our own projections of what we think that we see, or might be. Note that to not see what is happening in the real world is remain in a dream world, the world of illusion, no matter how much you want to make peace and love the picture of the world. The world is in decline, no matter how much we might want to try to spin this one. The world is overpopulated with people who would rather defend their lies against facts, and fight for fantasies and conspiracy theories over established truth and knowledge. You cannot reason with insanity, or pray it away. It must be faced directly, honestly, courageously, and with access to all of our spiritual resources, which includes anger, as well as compassion and forgiveness..
The Far Side Wait, Wait, We don’t have to be just sheep
ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL.
Do you think that just because you are giving love to the offender, that his behavior is going to spontaneously change? You noted at the start of our lunch the predominance of anger and hatred arising in Portland right now. I am not seeing all of our prayers and meditations working right now, nor have they for thousands of years. All of the Dalai Lamas prayers and meditations for Tibet were useless. He left his country, and did not defend himself. He left the country in fear for his own life, and his country was to be overrun by the Chinese, to be defended only by those who could not escape with him. Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, the 11th Panchen Lama, was left behind, and spent many years philosophically fighting the Chinese incursion, and languished in jail as a result of his best efforts. He stood up, and made his voice heard, in the only place and way a man of true spiritual integrity could. The Dalai Lama’s peaceful attitudes did not change one Chinese invader’s mind. I don’t see any of our thoughts and prayers reaching this reality TV star parading as our President, either. Three hundred and fifty million jabs back at his pudgy belly will help, though.”.
“Violence begets more violence, period. I think that our lunch time has come to an end. Please reconsider your position, Bruce. You have so much to give to the world, yet giving anger to the world is no gift, it is a curse. I can help, perhaps come to more meetings at our church, where we can give you the support of our spirit of peace”..
“Thanks, Jules. I know that you say this with love. And I say this to you, this is also love, if only you had the ears to hear. Right anger leads to right action, as well. Protecting oneself against the violent assaults from others is an act of love, as well. Loving oneself through defending oneself, while giving an offensive human being necessary feedback from which to learn is an act of love, too. Would you watch your own child torture and torment a neighbor’s pet, and have no emotional reaction to it, and not confront him and teach him another way to behave? Love and righteous anger as a response to aggressive and offensive philosophies can live together in harmony, and they must, if America is to survive. Jules, I don’t have a church, a book for you to read, nor can I provide a forum for you to understand what I am talking about. Just know that my own “still small voice” is thundering from the silence in the center of my being, affirming the truth as I speak it, and live it. I am not a lamb before another person’s sincere, but wayward teachings, I am led from within, and I will go where the teachings lead me..
Blessings to you on your journey, Jules. I love you.”.
And I left the lunch, and we have not spoken since, except for through Facebook and emails. He recently unfriended me from Facebook for my outrage at him for posting a bullshit meme and video from the king of anti-semitism, hatred, racism and mediocre and outdated Rock and Roll, Ted Nugent. Ted was trying to “rehabilitate” his horrific image, without making any changes in his outlook, and I was not buying it. Gary has an international audience, and did not appreciate me calling him out before his crowd.
.Gary has grown quite weary of my point of view, as have a few others.
I have not, however!!
Fear, anger, grief, and other often times unpleasant feelings respond in healthy manners to our mindful attempts at understanding them. We must avoid become the oppressors of our self, we must avoid repressing feelings
My Monologue On Human Mastery (extended version)
People pleasing and ass-kissing behavior, and unquestioning loyalty to people with power and influence is like renting a room in a burning building. Once we get in touch with our feelings, heal ourselves of the oppression by our culture, and undo the bondage from the repression of our true nature, we can finally bring integrity back to the forefront of our consciousness, and find the long ignored leader within ourselves. Then we no longer rent a room in a burning building, but instead reside in the luxurious abode of “. . . the secret place of the Most High abiding under the shadow of the Almighty.”
In the timeless words of Bob Marley, come the words of a real spiritual warrior:
Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights:
And in the words of another great spiritual warrior:.
“I come not to bring peace, but a sword!”
—-Jesus of Nazareth.
as he, too, tried to break down the patterns of social, economic, and religious injustice of the day.
Punch A Nazi Sign at June 2018 Portland, Oregon Rally for Immigrants and their families
A lifetime of oppression, of not being heard, having cries of pain and suffering ignored because of some sort of prevailing philosophy, thus ignoring major energy centers of who I AM, creates energy field corruption and damage. How can a young woman, or man, not respond with anger and fear while being sexually abused by yet another Toxic Man, and his own distorted theories of how life should be? Extrapolate that to our entire country, where millions of our fellow Americans, or, more accurately, our fellow human beings, be they African-American, Hispanic, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, or whatever label we want to foist on another child of God, continue to be persecuted and oppressed by the dark philosophies spawned by other Patriarchal ideologues..
For me, I layered myself with all manners of philosophies that suggested that I should ignore my personal human emotions, and all of the so-called dark energies that plague us, through the labeling, judging, and condemnation of all of these energies. Maya, or illusions, or cultural hypnosis, are terms coined by the “aware” that help us to understand that what appears to be in the “real world” may not actually be there, and to be aware of the potential of our minds to project out of our own unenlightened ignorance our misunderstanding of life, and our actual relationship to it. Ignorance and darkness, and their love child, evil itself, do exist, and is not an illusion. Rwanda, Syria, and any number of modern-day countries have witnessed the ravages of evil, and those residents who stayed seated in meditation and prayer are now dead, while those who are still alive escaped or had to defend themselves..
The key is to place these so-called dark energies in the service of understanding and love. Enlightened anger IS wisdom, and if we deny our anger about the oppression we have experienced, or that which is persecuting the innocents of the world, our access to vast sacred energy centers will continue to be blocked away from us, by those who inadvertently become part of the control mechanism that we are attempting to become liberated from..
Somebody has to act as a bridge between highbrow spiritual theories and/or realizations, and the damaged, hurt, misunderstood, persecuted, abused, sick and ill, and I AM THAT, along with countless millions of awakening abused people around the world. One size does NOT fit all, when it comes to how to spiritually respond to challenging situations. If we are sitting in an ivory tower or lofty spiritual “reality” then we will have one style of engagement with the world. If we are still in relationship with all of humanity, we have to be ready for anything, and we will have to be ready to engage ALL of our resources to meet the safe and sane requirements for each unique relationship . This is how my awakening world now spins, around the reunification of all rejected energies of our Holy Spirit (the spirit of wholeness that still resides within all of us, even in the “least of these” people, who may still reside in their own personal hell).
There are those purporting to be “spiritual teachers” and advisors, who are admonishing their followers to abhor using human emotions with their dealings with the public. Specifically, I am frequently hearing that a “requirement for maintaining spiritual integrity” is to NOT EXPRESS ANGER, in any form, and instead to substitute “loving thoughts” and “forgiving actions”.
Really?.
First things first!.
Anger is a natural, normal response, in any particular new moment, to any assault on our being, on those that we love, or on our inner sensibilities. Anger, among all other emotions, and in balance with those aspects of our self, help us to manage our response to the outer world, which is, at times, quite the aggressive, distressed, ugly, oppressive environment. Anger is not positive or negative energy, it is HUMAN ENERGY ITSELF, and like all aspects of our humanity, it needs to be understood in the context from which it arises, and when and how it expresses itself..
Anger can bring fear to the unaware among us, because of an incomplete or unhealed response to its expression in their past. We have all been persecuted, at one time or another (or many times), by the angry parent, boss, co-worker, or stranger driving next to us in a car. Or, how about the rapist, or child molester, who tries to attack us, or our children?. According to classic psychology, humans engage in “fight or flight” behavior, when they experience fear and/or perceive that they are being attacked. Whether we choose one or the other depends on any number of circumstances, and ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. When we are backed into a corner, and there is no way out, where is our energy to come from, when the attacker makes his final lunge at us?.
We all feel a need to “be in control”, and to conform to social norms, especially those “norms” expressed in the common knowledge game that dominates the unaware human consciousness. Philosophies and theologies that stress the need to repress aspects of our human nature need to be examined in their fullness, and not accepted at face value. By their very nature, any umbrella philosophy and theology devalues the “intelligence of the moment”, and intentionally and/or unwittingly contribute to the suppression, and repression, of sacred human values and emotions. This unrepressed and unoppressed human energy, when balanced, keeps us as complete beings, capable of accessing and expressing the wholeness of our being, with emotionally intelligent actions appropriate to the activity of the moment..
There is a Wisdom deep inside us all, waiting to inform all of our thoughts and actions in this world. And, this world requires Ultimate intelligence to navigate through it successfully, without bringing harm to ourselves and others needlessly. Anger and fear are not to be repressed by any healthy human being, but instead are to be witnessed, and studied, and utilized intelligently for wise action in this troubled world.
Stand up, stand up, stand up for your rights!.
But, make sure that the anger is appropriate to the moment, and not some formulaic response that the “non-healed, unbalanced” nature within your own self offers up under many questionable circumstances. An “institutionalized expression of anger” becomes hatred in disguise, and that characterizes the oppressive nature of far too many male originated, and dominated, philosophies. When anger becomes an automatic response to all situations where threat is perceived, then the intelligence of the moment is denied, and we are susceptible to bringing needless harm to our bodies, and to our minds, as well as to the “other”..
When I was a eight-year old boy, while on a camping trip with family and friends, my sister and I complained to my parents about the father of the other family,, who had severely overreacted to us, and we accused him of being excessively angry and threatening to us. When my father confronted Bob about his rage, Bob got angry again, denied that he threatened us, and then commanded me to “get my story straight”, before complaining about his behavior in the future. Several years later, while in a fit of rage with his wife, he intentionally crashed his car head-on into another car at a high rate of speed, killing himself and crippling his wife for life.
The act of “getting our story straight”, and calling out ourselves or someone for being disrespectful or engaging in hurtful behavior will not necessarily guarantee any immediate positive outcomes, but it disrupts the conspiracy of silence, if only for a moment. In the seeing, or the development of insight into self, change is facilitated. Everybody needs to become more conscious of the self, and fine tune how we respond to our emotions, but the point is to accept personal responsibility for our emotions, see how they impact ourselves and others, and make necessary adjustments in course if we have behaved inappropriately. Repression and oppression helps nobody in the long run, though they maintain an order of false peace and control for the status quo.
To respond successfully in anger, we need to measure how mindfully we can engage these threats, and successfully group our own thoughts and actions, with others also engaged in the situation, to either fight the oppressors, or to speak our truth, and be heard. We do not engage in mass protests because we want to go for a walk with a bunch of strangers, we engage in protests because we want our voices heard. Channeled anger is an effective, time-tested method for standing up to those who would keep us silent in the face of their own misdeeds.
One only needs to review history to see how well the silent sheep held back the Nazi oppressors. If you want to conform to the “spiritual philosophies” of those who did grow up in our country, and did not share in our American Experience, good luck to you. I choose to wisely tend to my own “flock” of thoughts and feelings, and not to become just another follower in someone’s “herd”. I am now a shepherd of my own thoughts and feelings, and not just someone’s lamb..
Anecdotally, we hear of those rare few who have successfully mitigated dark, evil circumstances, through some fortunate “intervention” through prayer, or luck, where those who are attacking us somehow are diverted, and move their aggression elsewhere. Stories of Gandhi’s non-violent protest against British occupancy of India’s lands gets a lot of play in so-called “spiritually aware circles”. Remember, though, the many years of British occupation prior to that stand, and Britain’s diminishing will to keep their empire extended throughout the world. We only need watch the news, or read the paper, to see that these anecdotal stories do not embrace the reality underlying most of the final acts, and resulting actions, of the aggressive ones. Murder, rape, child molesting, intimidation, oppression, misogyny, road rage, terrorism, paternal violence in ALL OF ITS FORMS, keeps manifesting itself, and has throughout all of history. Those who are inspired to make peaceful approaches to these problems must continue, yet, so do those who aggressively confront the forces of oppression and darkness.
WE NEED BOTH ENERGIES FOR CHANGE
By the way, have you ever noticed how so many of the so-called spiritual savants, or gurus from foreign lands, do not have families? What is the real teaching here, do you think? It is so much easier to talk love and light for all beings, especially when one does not have to deal directly with the most challenging of human relationships. From the middle of 1987 to early 1988, I spent over 6 hours a day in meditation and prayer, and I had very few problems with my relationships with people. I lived in perfect peace and harmony within myself. Also, I had no children, or nobody to call me on my isolation and (potential) loneliness. All in all, it was beautiful for me, yet totally disengaged from the challenges of integration into society, and family and friendship development. I value my time in the “real world”, where the beauty, and the pain, of human existence is my greatest teacher. Mysticism has a place in our world, yet I struggle to find how to best stay in alignment with its ecstasy, and enlightenment, while maintaining a “normal human experience”. Perhaps I will drink again from its deep waters, when I have finally wearied of this world..
If our minds are fed anything other than facts, ESPECIALLY WITHIN ESTABLISHED COMMUNITIES OF HUMAN BEINGS, we are involved in a process known as maya, or illusion creating, and our world(s) tend to end up in chaos. The result is individual, and cultural, hypnosis and schizophrenia, where we can end up losing personal power, and we can be too easily bullied by the wayward opinions and false insights of others. Too often those who claim to have real knowledge are as lost as everybody else, even though they may be claiming righteousness, religious or otherwise. When we try to fit into a situation or setting where our heart tells us we don’t belong, honor those feelings, and investigate where they are coming from. If we feel that we are already “swimming in the divine ocean”, then we can watch, and wait, and see who is swimming with us, and join with them as indicated (or reach out and help lift another up, as they request help). While in the marketplace of human thought and reason,
LET THE BUYER BEWARE!
It has taken me many years to speak my truth to our cultural, political, and theological power and knowledge brokers. My enhanced attention to my inner needs and the greater good of all finally took precedence over my own feelings of inadequacy in confronting this collective American life experience about it’s alienating, crazy making communications and relationships, and its collective consciousness, and collective unconsciousness. Our cultural spiritual dementia needed to be challenged, lest we all lapse into deeper degrees of anxiousness, powerlessness, and unreality. Confronting a difficult reality takes more energy than most of us care to bring to the table, yet, not doing so diminishes our own standing in Truth, Life, and Love.
I had very poor training since birth in how to successfully navigate group energy, up to, and including, the whole of society that we all participate in. As a boy, when family discussions turned into arguments, many times I found myself either raising my voice against the angry voice of my father, or retreating into submission and fear at the threat of being attacked for being contrary to the flow. And, I internalized that I was probably wrong anyway, and would be punished if I stepped out and asserted myself too much. I learned that I could undertake less obvious means of rebelling against authority, sometimes through indirect, or obvious, self, or other, destructive behavior..
Passive/aggressive tendencies have haunted me most of my entire life, and becoming “self-aware” has gone a long way to keep me from employing those unskilled coping mechanisms unconsciously, though I am still occasionally haunted by their presence. Having undertaken the inner work of insight, and maintaining mindfulness, and identified those sources of suffering within myself, does not instantaneously remove all of the darkness within. But is also does not remove from me the responsibility to call out those who are the external agents of oppression and repression, no matter how much I might love them or want to protect them, or even to protect myself from the ramifications of asserting what is right, true, or proper in any situation.
What is not expressed is de-pressed. It seems the more we express, that is, bring out what is in, the more alive we are. The more we give voice to our pain in living, the less build-up we have between our soul and our way in the world. However, the more we depress, the more we push down and keep in, the smaller we become. The more we stuff between our heart and our daily experience, the more we have to work through to feel life directly.–Mark Nepo
Alcoholism, depression, mental illness, murder, suicide, participating in the continued destruction of our sacred Mother Earth, and other manifestations of dis-empowered male energy can be the results of loss of integrity, and stifling ones feelings and voice. And, this is NOT yet another spiritual theory, this is the ACTUALITY of American male life, and of my life. Sitting in meditation, and or quoting other “spiritually enlightened individuals” may have brought me a temporary measure of peace, but this whole process became yet another “opiate”, and it never brought the change required by my spirit for its own emergence into its own unique wholeness. Thoughts and prayers are great preparation for action, but, without action, thoughts and prayers are only mental masturbation.
Ignorance, and its most deadly spawn Evil continues to exist, in spite of Love’s presence, and I will not allow the “wise ones” and their dismissive theories on evil to discourage me from confronting that force, both within myself and within my American culture. It takes a force of will, or an energy FAR transcending those that the absolutist philosophies of unconditional love promote, to address this darkness. Jesus facing the devil in the desert has no value to me, if I do not also face my own “devil”, and our collective “devils”. If I lived in a spiritual “ivory tower”, where I never witness man’s inhumanity to man, then these philosophies might serve my needs. Why would any sane man create more Fake News, deny what they see, and gloss it over with Universal Love, whatever that means? I no longer need permission from “higher powers” to deal with all of our difficult emotions directly and honestly..
It is fascinating to watch what happens in group processes, where the “active issues of the moment” are finally met by the active participants within a closed group. M. Scott Peck had a great understanding of the stages of spiritual growth, as well as how communities respond to challenges within themselves. He coined a term “the dark prophet” for those who take an antagonistic position in regards to a prevailing attitude, concept, or accepted norm established by the community. When those other members within the community are confronted by the perceived “attack”, they immediately go into a defensive posture, and begin the process of self, and other, protection, and scapegoat or marginalize the “dark prophet” who has spoken out against the accepted norms. Unfortunately, in our spiritual and emotional therapy groups, or in the political process itself, the person who speaks out against the so-called prevailing norms is over-analyzed by, or redirected by, those who cannot or will not share in the observation, or insight offered. Eventually, truth will dawn on the rest of the community, but not before an innocent is punished for offering up a contrary truth..
It is not a fun position to be in, to be the “dark prophet”. It is the position of greatest spiritual growth, and evolution, and only for those who have made a decision to separate from the “common knowledge game” of human (mis)understanding. My old tendencies would be to try to hide under the nearest table (figuratively, and literally) to avoid confrontation. Or, I would rather defend the person who is being challenged, rather than consider both or several points of view simultaneously, and doing the real work of healing of conflicting and diverging energies, and the resultant synthesizing of a new group outlook. But, we are dying, and our world is dying, and it is time to speak out about the underlying issues with our culture, and the male consciousness that supports it. The destruction of our planet, and the monetization and dehumanization of our people, especially including the feminine aspect of all humanity, where our feeling nature and divinity lives, will continue unabated until a critical mass of awakening humanity rises up and asserts itself in the face of these assaults against life and human decency..
Without the integration of the divine feminine with our unhealed male consciousness, any hope for a bright future cannot be maintained. I cannot and I will not be led unconsciously to my own spiritual slaughter, and to the slaughter of my Values, Morality, and Ethics that World Patriarchy continues to threaten us all with on a daily basis. The Demon must be recognized, and challenged by all, or prepare for the darkened ending to all that is important to us as an American culture, and as a world civilization.
We must strive to keep an equilibrium, between our need to confront the forces of oppression, repression, darkness, and mutual imprisonment, and our need to listen carefully to the needs of those promoting values antithetical to the very spiritual values that we are affirming and practicing in our own lives. A continuing part of our education, and evolution, is dependent upon our willingness not to reject the human being still covered in a darkened shroud, but instead to reject the ideas that the ignorant person is still clinging to. Therein lies the great challenge in communication with spiritual integrity, separating the person from the offending agenda or philosophy..
Those stuck deepest in their own illusions are those most prone to stubbornness in holding onto the ways perceived as threatening to ourselves. The ideas that “God said it, I believe it, and that is all that there is to it!”, and “My country, and its leaders, RIGHT OR WRONG!”, are sure to stimulate a positive response within those who have been raised to, or like to follow authoritarian principles, but for all awakening souls, there may not be a supportive or friendly response. It is best to first pause, before reacting to any offending statement, and wait for a response from the deeper reaches of our heart. Keeping the doors open to dialogue and mutual respect are of primary importance, and not attempting to convert another to our own beliefs, no matter how “wrong” they appear to be, and how “right” we might feel in our minds and hearts..
In our attempt to be “heard”, we instead try to program people, unconsciously, to behave and react more in accordance with our expectations. When they don’t (they rarely do, unless they are our impressionable young children), we are very disappointed, and feel rejected, and, in the absolute, we feel betrayed by the sum total of exchanges between the parties..
We just can’t quiet our minds long enough to listen with our hearts to what is being said, and respond accordingly with our heart. We are much too eager to respond with ego programmed responses, which, typically, are based on incomplete perceptions or someone else’s ‘knowledge’, and it remains our attempt to control each others’ experience through linking our own unhealed energy with their own..
We, as the human race, keep layering ourselves and our ideas upon what somebody else is saying, rather than meeting the being where they are, and responding according to the dictates of our “heart center”, which in most people, ESPECIALLY MEN, has been scabbed over by our own early emotional and spiritual wounds. Men typically inflict their own wounded natures on everybody else, in subtle, or not so subtle ways. Usually, this manifests in dominating, or being dominated, by others. Philosophies of oppression, and of the monetization of reality, arise out of this wounding. Women are usually victimized as well as all people with sensitive natures..
When our personalities have been formed by the layering of our egos upon the “unnamed, unrecognized dark energy”, we end up with an energy exchange dynamic where we “project” our dysfunction onto others, and make them wrong for it, not recognizing that we were the source of our misplaced judgement..
There is a new possibility for bringing change to our world, including all of those people who blindly follow the paths of their past, and their collective and individual dysfunction. It takes much patience and perseverance, and in our new world order of instantaneous image and information exchange through our social media platforms, it can be frustrating to remain engaged with the so-called “other side of the argument” people. What I have noted from my own relationships with those that I love, and who are not yet in that more perfect place that I aspire to be with them in, if I keep an image of how things can change and heal between two or more parties, many times that energy eventually helps to inform all parties, and we all tend to change together, for the greater good of all..
I do not want a life that has been lived in vain. I see a world where the majority of us still suffer from the same, basic issues that I have tried to describe here. Even among some people closest to me, denial reigns supreme, and though I have only a small measure of hope that the “personal truth” that I am trying to convey here will actually be heard, and applied by others that I care about (which now includes the entirety of our planet Earth), I have enough hope to spend many hundreds of hours writing this material down..
“There is something fundamental here.”.
As a baby, my parents placed a blanket around my baby body, and deposited me in a car in their garage so that my father could get at least 5 hours of sleep a night. My father was “chasing the American Dream”, and worked two jobs at the time..
I don’t need to remind any of my loved ones of the profoundly damaging effects of denying love and interactive time to a developing human being. What I might need to remind myself at times is that others, no matter what their age, or how much that I think that I know them, deserve my undivided attention, as they attempt to reveal who they are in this moment..It is funny, sometimes when I share some of my creative work, I still get the very strong impression that some “important” people in my life just don’t have the time to listen..
Another clue about our own, or the others’ listening intention, is when we try to share a “profound life event”, and are immediately “run over” by another with more knowledge of the subject. Sometimes we, or the other, either have “too much book knowledge”, we have the “certificate”, we already have read about it on the internet, we have memorized something from a class that we already took, or we have a friend who has already “been there, done that!”.
Trust me on this one. If I do not want to grow anymore, I will stop listening to what others are really trying to say. If i don’t want to be of service to my fellow-man/woman, I can just stop listening to what they are trying to express, and just “layer my own ignorance” and judgement, over somebody else, and not let them reveal to me who they Really Are in this special moment. Our President, and many of our politicians, are masters at this. Please don’t inflict this same treatment on the ones you love. It is like putting a blanket around our heart and soul, and putting us into the car, so that those with a dehumanizing or monetizing philosophy can continue to oppress others, while keeping themselves spiritually asleep..
We all deserve to be listened to. I don’t need to remind any of my loved ones of the potential of the damaging impacts to our relationships with others, by merely not taking the time to listen with our hearts, to the other’s deepest meaning. Most of my closest connections already practice this, and do not intentionally ignore the needs of others..
We are all developing human beings, no matter what our age. And, we are all God’s children, and God speaks through us, whether we can hear the “truth”, or not. Sometimes the “truth” is so difficult to hear, that we shut down emotionally, and we either ignore what is said, or substitute our own story for what the “other” is trying to communicate. And, the most difficult of emotions, such as anger, we all must become more proficient in expressing, as well as developing the capacity to listen to it being expressed by others..
And, perhaps the most important point of all, is that we must be willing to listen to ourselves. Our anger, grief, sadness, anxiety, or depression is NOT bad. We do not need to feel guilt or shame for feeling any “difficult” emotions. We do not have to oppress ourselves, and repress our sacred selves, in order to fit into the small box of another person’s limited understanding of how we should be. We do not need to smoke pot to hide from our feelings. We do not need to shoot heroin in our desire to wait for another day and time when our feelings are not overpowering us. We do not need to drink ourselves to death to escape our difficult emotions.
We do need to begin the difficult journey of understanding ourselves, forgiving ourselves and others, and becoming mindful of the triggers that take us away from our peace of mind. And we must remember that all of our feelings, including anger, are very effective tools that have the potential to move mountains, and change behaviors. Those who have learned how to channel their feelings effectively have risen up to become some of the world’s greatest leaders, and forces for positive change. Those who have failed in that mission continue to create all manners of darkness and ignorance.
Further Explorations: Hatred, Anger, and Toxic Attitudes
Just looking at Trump?
We are just looking at Trump, OK? Maybe we will look at ourselves, as well.
The Voice Of Awakening
As the slowly shifting desert sands of time,
Create ever taller dunes for lost souls to climb.
It is in this selfish, hateful world of so little reason and rhyme,
That the way of Truth may be sought, to the path of the Sublime.
I did not start talking until I was nearly 4 years of age. My sister would speak for me, until I finally let loose my first words. I remember having an incredible need to be creative, to tell stories that would capture the limited attention span of my father. It never really quite worked. My father would ask my mother, “Will that boy ever run out of things to talk about?”, and “Will that boy ever shut up?”. When I turned 15 years of age, after years of non affirming feedback from other aspects of my life, I went back into a world where the repression of myself became the norm, and I lost all will to create. For the next 17 years I sank into drug and alcohol abuse, and a suicidal depression almost took my life in 1986.
In 1987, I had a miraculous spiritual healing experience, which catapulted me far beyond all previous understanding that I had about life, love, and the universe. Yet, I struggled for many years to find the language to communicate my new experience to others. I found my new voice in 2016, just prior to the death of my father. My present experience as a writer has been quite similar to my experience with my inattentive father when I was a youth, with a four year trend continuing for my inability to capture the attention of most readers. Such is the life for this writer, but it does not discourage me. I found an updated sense of self once I broke free of my father. And, I am developing an updated sense of self while I churn out material that is unappealing to most people.
I must continue to write to live, or I will lose my voice again, and finish the dying process that I began at age 15. Today, I choose to overcome my feelings of being oppressed by the indifference or inattention of others. Today I choose to overcome my own need to repress myself, as a reaction to my perception of having been rejected by others. A trusted editor told me that with my loving intention for any potential reader being firmly embraced by me, receptivity to my writing is inevitable for those whose hearts are awakening.
Hopefully, the reader’s mental stylus won’t get damaged by the “scratches” or on the deep or uneven grooves of this “album”. This blog, like my life, is a continuous work in progress, and eventually all of the scratches will be removed. I don’t know if I will ever fully heal from the ramifications of toxic masculinity, toxic politics, toxic capitalism, and toxic religion, which are four dark pillars supporting the pervasive spiritual and social disease within our world civilization. Yet, I continue to write about these topics, knowing that eventually our civilization will look completely at these issues, or will die from the continuation of the unconsciousness that results from this darkness. Those four previous listed toxicities, combining with my personally unresolved angers, indifference towards others and hatreds, become all of the scratches that have appeared on my album of life. In the interests of sonic bliss, I continue to work towards the healing of my self, and the world. I can do nothing about the deep or uneven grooves, however, for those are innate qualities of life itself.
This writer must profess, from the beginning of this blog, that I have spent much more time in the last 30 plus years hating or being indifferent to Donald Trump, rather than in “loving” him. Donald Trump is the poster boy for toxic masculinity, toxic politics, toxic capitalism, and toxic religion, and I have enjoyed throwing darts at this horse’s ass, err, I mean bull’s eye.
- You have to admit, the horse’s tail looks a lot better than the hair on Trump’s head.
All that Donald Trump sees are threats against himself. Donald Trump hates any truth that threatens his illusory sense of self. Donald Trump hates anybody with scientific or practical knowledge that conflicts with his selfish, divisive agendas. Donald Trump hates anybody who does bow down before him, and give him an oath of loyalty. Donald Trump hates anyone who dares speak truth to him, including judges, intelligence officers, military commanders, health officials, or climatologists. Donald Trump hates anything that Barrack Obama accomplished as President. Donald Trump hates non-white immigrants, Muslims, “shit-hole countries”, disabled people, poor people, or anybody who might be in need of help. Donald Trump hates anybody who is Democrat, or Republican, who speaks out against his cruelty and incompetence. Donald Trump hates virtually anybody who does not accept his conspiracy theories.
Sound familiar?
The top nine principles of toxic humanity that Donald Trump’s life has been partially defined by are as follows:
- I am the center of the Universe. The rest of humanity is here either
for my pleasure, for my profit, or for my disdain. I may attend a prayer session occasionally with my religious puppets, so that I can create the impression that I worship a higher power than myself. But, I already know that there is no higher power but me. HUMILITY IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME, and is only for the poor and weak among us. - Truly loving another human being is a sign of weakness, and thus I
must continue to suppress all such impulses so that I can achieve my
selfish goals. I will carry on a campaign of hatred, judgement, and
condemnation of all people unlike myself, all the while claiming to
represent their interests at the highest level of my being. The ignorant people populating my tribe will hopefully associate my hateful behavior with their understanding of what love is, thus damaging the hearts and souls of all who may fear, respect, and/or follow me. My schizophrenia will be confusing to others, but may still be normalized, as others that I have influenced model and support my behavior. - People are most valuable if they can be monetized. If I can’t make
money from my relationship with people, then I don’t need them, - Never admit that I am wrong. Always blame somebody else for my
The admission of guilt is a sign of weakness, and only for
those who do not have sufficient monetary and legal power. I don’t need your forgiveness for my mistakes, because, as far as you should be concerned, I do not ever make mistakes. - If I can’t get my way through truth-telling, then the telling of lies
becomes my most potent weapon. If I am caught in a lie, then it is only your misunderstanding of my point, and not what I said, that is wrong. If I tell the same lie often enough, then people will start to accept the lie as the truth. - If I can’t get my way with another human being, then I will cajole or
bully them into submission, or attack their name and character, and/or impugn their dignity, until they either submit, or are discredited by my allies. - I have a right to use my strong emotions to intimidate and threaten
anybody that I need to in order to get my way. My anger is a weapon, to be wielded whenever necessary, and its expression is my first selection from my arsenal of control tools in manipulating and controlling my world. - Never spend any time in self-reflection or meditation. Developing
insight is difficult and time-consuming, and I have more important
things to do I am already perfect, I always have been perfect, and
everybody else needs to change to accommodate my needs. If I am not “perfect” today, I always have someone, or something, else to blame. - If there is no conflict currently in progress, then I must start
creating the conditions for the next one, and politically position myself so that I can maximize emotional and monetary profits and visibility for myself. I will never obtain enough money, power, sex, or attention to make or to keep me happy. I will take from others as needed to achieve my aims and promote my agendas.
These are NOT the indicators of a man who loves the wholeness and integrity of life, who loves himself, who loves other people, who wants to unite and collaborate with everybody, or who has any self-respect.
From the first time I saw him promoting himself in the National Enquirer in the 1980’s I saw what a fraud and a huckster that he was. It was like I was watching a cartoon of the fable “The Emperor’s New Clothes” every time that I saw him. My “little boy” of reason kept calling out to the world “that con man does not have any clothes on!”, except for the magic invisible golden threads of hypnotic suggestion that are trying to deceive the world out of its gold and respect.
It is easy to see that Trump’s royal robes are illusory, spun together by the invisibile golden verbal threads of propagandists and hypnotists.
Beginning in 2016, I started writing about the danger of supporting this mad man, because of the apocalyptic vision of many corrupted Christians that he was commandeering to support his quest for the Presidency. I feared what would unfold in our country, and our world, if this conniving human devil made it into the White House. Any reader that has made it to this blog, and stayed to read more than one post, probably can resonate with these statements. Yet, having lived with the pendulum of hate and indifference towards this corrupted human being for so many years, while attempting to live a more conscious, spiritual life, I continued to seek another more spiritually expansive way to experience and to bring some measure of healing to the insanity of our collective situation.
Thus, the following missive was inspired.
Love, hate, and indifference are three terms that we use to help describe the quality of our relationships with each other. To some extent, in various proportions, all of us employ these three qualities of energy exchange in our lives, depending on the person and/or the situation involved. As human beings we experience love and hatred as powerful emotions, which guide all subsequent feelings and perceptions in divergent directions. Love is an open system of frictionless energy exchange and hate is more of a closed, attenuated system of energy exchange, both of which bind us to each other, in easily identifiable, though differing manners.
Indifference is a quality of attention that attempts to keep everybody and everything separate from the observer, and the emotionally detached individual is choosing to live in a closed system, or spiritual vacuum. Those practicing total indifference live in an isolated world, with little real emotional connection with anybody or anything other than their own emotions, thoughts and feelings. Indifference is the emotional and spiritual oppression of others, as well as a repression of the personal spirit, as well. For most normal people, indifference is only applied to special situations, and is not applied to a complete life experience. Yet, the quality of indifference gives the practitioner the illusory sense of having no personal accountability to that which is being witnessed. Personal responsibility for a collectively shared error in the heart is denied, and the potential for a shared healing experience is negated.
We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to
say ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’
Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those
people my heroes.
— Fred Rogers
Empathy, in both its positive and negative expressions, is a name for the mechanism for transporting emotional energy to create a form of resonance or attunement between sentient beings, and is always in play in both love and hate relationships. In positive empathy, energy flows freely in both directions, between the “giver” and the “receiver”. There is a shared sense of the “expansion” of the self. In a radical variation of positive empathy, one may even experience shared mental images-telepathy-and spiritual healing, and those are subjects that I will briefly address later. In negative empathy, energy flow is uneven, and dominated by one party, potentially resulting in forms of oppression of the other, and repression of aspects of the self, by the “giver”, and, potentially, the repression of aspects of the self by the “receiver”. There is a strong sense of the “contraction” of the self by at least one party in this energy exchange.
Contemporary research into neuroscience tells us that our brains, like those of other primates, contain mirror neurons. These neurons are triggered in our own brains when someone else is sad, angry, or happy, and those mirror neurons, in coordination with other pre-cognitive and cognitive functions, helps us to feel what that other person is feeling. What they actually help us to feel is what we would experience if we were in that person’s place. If our experiences are similar enough, we can empathize in a way that promotes a connection which can be soothing to the other person. The effort to understand someone else, when made in good faith, can go a long way towards helping them feel better and even, sometimes, to change their behaviors. This can be considered to be a collaboration between the spirit of the individuals in communication. The changing of another’s behavior is not the conscious intention of empathy, though most find that through the empathetic connection each participant is taken beyond the former boundaries of their understanding of self and other.
I have a story that exemplifies some of the power and the mystery of deep, positive, empathetic connections.
This photograph is from around 1991, when I was an apprentice with the Local 48’s Electrician’s Apprenticeship program(1988-1992).
Three years ago, I saw David McElwie at the Oak Grove Fred Meyer’s (person in front, on the left of photograph), who was an apprentice in the same class that I was in. Through our conversation I learned that Gary Johnson, the man sitting next to me in the center (to the left of me in the photo), had died shortly after our apprenticeship had finished. I began to tear up, and I cried for a little while in the store.
The back story to this is that Gary and I had a “miracle moment” while we apprenticed together. One class day we had a major test to take, and I had noticed how Gary had been struggling with the course material (it was much too easy for me, since I had 6 years of electrical engineering training). For some reason, I began to intensely want the very best for Gary, in effect, “praying” for him, something I would never even think to consider to do in most situations. Why I did here, I will never know, but, at the end of the test, Gary came over to me, and thanked me for praying for him.
HUH?
I was stunned and shocked. THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD HAVE KNOWN THAT I HAD PRAYED FOR HIM. My spiritual life was a great secret that I kept from my construction worker peers. I always hid my ‘sensitive nature’ from the coarse masculine energy that permeates our electrical industry, and the apprenticeship classes were no exception.
We are all linked together on a much more fundamental or foundational level than we realize. Our thoughts may be nothing more than unfocused prayer, so be careful with those thoughts that we entertain in our private little worlds, because they always become quite “public”, in reality. Intuition and non-verbal energy exchange may be nothing more than a more direct, though intermittent, connection to the underlying truth that connects all of us together.
Thank you, Gary Johnson, for helping LIFE reveal one of its greatest truths to me!
Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it.
– Anaïs Nin
Human beings are usually quite empathetic beings. Studies are showing that all animals, especially those mammalian in nature, share in this often times sublime characteristic. It is very difficult to harm another person if we can sense the suffering that they are presently experiencing, or that we may actually be causing them. The exceptions being when one is in an extremely hateful state, or those whose indifference may arise from sociopathic or psychopathic natures. A conscious person would never abuse any person, or animal of any species (including eating it, unless no other choices are available), after recognizing the unity of sentience that exists in our natural world. Of course, much of mankind is unconscious, and we can’t even keep from harming each other, let alone the whole of the animal species. Mankind has “dehumanized-de-sentienced” humans and animals so as to justify cruel and destructive relationships, as well as with the natural world that supports all of us. The Judeo-Christian western religious tradition and its misunderstanding of the wholeness and unity of life, and it subsequent influence on thinkers throughout the ages has been at the forefront of this travesty for millennia.
Empathy has been found to have not just a positive or “good” aspect to it, but that empathy can also drag an unsuspecting empath into the ditch with someone who may be of low consciousness. It might be termed ‘negative empathy’, which is a state of being so sensitive to other people’s experiences that we become overwhelmed by their suffering, to the point where we begin to suffer ourselves. This has the opposite effect of the collaboration that occurs through positive empathy, instead becoming an alliance of shared mutual personal pain, which eventually results in new forms of emotional isolation. The extreme form of this empathy is the stigmata syndrome, where the empath takes on so much of the suffering energy and experience of a hated or a treasured person, that they manifest in their own bodies and minds the wounds and symptoms of the person that they have become obsessed with. Those who have read all of my works are well aware of my profound experience in 2017 with a dying friend with brain cancer, and the dangers, and spiritual growth potentials, of such an extraordinary relationship.
Marty C and me.
Marty (left) and Me, on a Columbia River Gorge hike in 1998
Over the years, I have become deeply disturbed by the developments within our shared world, within my individual consciousness, and the points of connection between self and other, through language, religion, and philosophy, that have created oppression, repression, and the resultant physical, emotional, and social disease. Starting within myself, I have seen how a lifetime of oppression, and repression, had brought about a sequence of serious illnesses, physiological as well as spiritual. I saw how a dark force, common to all of humanity, lived, moved, and had its being enshrined within my own heart and soul. I also saw how the medical, economic, religious, cultural, political, and spiritual traditions had failed in their understanding of humanity, and it’s basic, innermost needs of being valued and listened to.
Virtually all men and women have experienced oppression, repression, and the resultant diseases of the spirit at some point in their lives, and we have been both the victims, and the conscious and unconscious perpetrators, of this behavior. We have all attempted to manage our symptoms in our own unique, yet all too often broken and dysfunctional ways. I have wanted to help myself, my father and several of my male friends, to develop greater insight into these issues over the years, but I did not find a consistent interest being expressed by others in exploring these issues with me. But my friend Marty did begin to show great interest in my Facebook posts beginning late in 2016, and this opened the door to a different level of sharing between the two of us.
Together, Marty and I shared over twenty years in a couple’s group (three couples who were long term friends), many weekend trips, nights out for dinner and entertainment, and then the book club that we also shared together for the last several years, Marty and I were quite friendly with each other, yet rarely spoke at great length or depth, or showed extraordinary interest in developing a deeper friendship apart from our wives. I noted how his wife organized and dominated his life over the years that I had known him, and how she would all too often speak for him, or even verbally run over him in group meetings. It was common knowledge that when his wife was present, Marty would not consistently reveal himself and his own story, and he would instead defer to his wife through his silence. My own experience of his wife was that she was usually quite willing to listen to what I had to say initially, then she would often fill whatever empty space appeared with herself, rather than wait for me to finish my story and whatever message I might be trying to deliver. At this point, much like Marty, all further talk from me would end, and I would just listen to her, no matter what important items I might have to share with her or the group that we might be attending together.
This brings me to January 11th of 2017, when I had my first ‘seizure’. I awoke at 2:45 in the morning, and went into my office and sat down. Suddenly, I lost all ability to move, and to even think, though I remained quite aware during this approximately one minute process. It was then that I became aware of a “black mass”, almost the size of a golf ball, in the left portion of the brain area of my inner field of body awareness. This was the first time that I had awareness of the energy field of my body since July of 1987, when I had my first, and only, experience of detecting my own “life energy field”. I became quite concerned by this whole experience, though I kept it to myself initially. Every subsequent time I looked internally, I could still see the dark mass. In February, I had yet another seizure, this time much milder, and in a public setting, while playing cards at Jim’s, who was a mutual friend of both of us (and another member of the couple’s group).
I did not talk about the seizures, or the black mass, initially, because I thought that I might be losing my mind. I later began talking about it with my wife, and two friends, and it was theorized that it might be related to something spiritual or psychic in nature. But I came to know it as “death”, at least in a spiritual sense. I saw that there was no negotiating with it. Prayers, meditations, affirmations, reading, talking with others, nothing seemed to have any impact upon the dark mass. I knew that some sort of death was coming my way, though I felt little need to discuss it with a doctor. I did tell my family doctor that I feared that my own death might precede my father’s, when I took my ill father to see her about January 4th of 2017..
On March 5, 2017 Marty suffered a major seizure and was hospitalized at OHSU. , Marty had been in a four year recovery phase from malignant melanoma, a process first diagnosed in late 2012. He appeared to have been successfully treated with Interleuken II therapy, a powerful immunotherapy regimen. Now, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. My wife Sharon and I visited him two days prior to its surgical removal. Marty and I talked about our seizures, and I was struck by the similarity of his seizures with my own, though mine were relatively tame by comparison. I told Marty that my perception was that Death was making itself known to me, through the dark mass that I could “see” in my own energy field. I was also beginning to see a relationship between our problems, but I was hesitant to tell Marty about it, though I told him that I hoped that his brain mass did not indicate a death for him.
That next day, Wednesday, at noon, I had another episode of such intensity, and duration, that I dared not even attempt to get up from the couch. I had previously arose from the couch, and briefly lost consciousness, so I was all shook up, yet I still had no desire to get a doctor involved. Sharon came home later that afternoon from her creative writing class, and found me quite compromised. She listened to my story, and accepted my decision not to seek further medical attention, since this was perceived as a spiritual crisis, while she offered her own love and care. She monitored my blood pressure, and when she noted when my breathing became shallow, to offer me a paper bag to breathe into, lest I sink into a panic attack.
Each time I tried to get off the couch, I became quite dizzy. I continued feeling quite physically subdued, and some sort of anxiety reaction was also happening with my body/mind. I was also losing my ability to talk. It took all of the power that I could muster to force words out. It was reminiscent of a time 31 years before, when for two days I had an event that prevented me from speaking during a portion of my trip through the underworld. I lost my voice for two days when confronted with the reality that there were dangerous people I was associating with, and this fact had finally, and powerfully, struck home with me.
The present time, I actually felt like my consciousness was trying to escape, and it took all of my resources just to hold it together. I characterized this present event to Sharon White as almost losing my mind, while having an almost neurotoxic component to it. I did not want anything to do with another neurological exam, having been through that horror several years before, when I had experienced excruciating headaches. I tried to go about my normal activities, while being grateful that I did not have to provide care for my disabled father, whose care that week was taken over by others.
Thursday came, and I had not improved much. It also was the day that Marty’s tumor was being removed. I had dual concerns, for Marty, and for myself. I went about my limited daily activities as best I could, but I became quite conscious of my own fear and anxiety around Death, both of self, and of other. I continued to listen to the occasional taped “spiritual wisdom” tapes of some of my past teachers, hoping to hear something that might bring me comfort. Well, I listened to Jack Boland, a nationally renowned speaker and master of the recovery process. I owned a tape where he referred to me personally, said he knew me, probably better than I knew myself. He then stated that he wished pain, not peace of mind, to all who had not yet fulfilled their interior spiritual obligation to cleanse their hearts, as this is the great precursor to any lasting spiritual progress . Those who understand this statement UNDERSTAND. And here I thought that I had already performed that process! How wrong I was.
Thursday evening came, and after yet another nearly sleepless night, I got up and sat in the family room, and awaited for Sharon to join me . My life’s message was bubbling up within me, and I felt a compulsion to share it with my world. Yet I also knew that there were few, if any, people presently in my life who had the time, or even the interest, in listening to what Spirit was trying to pour through me. As I lay out on the couch, feeling my own emotional/spiritual death about to overtake me, I cried out in despair to Sharon, to please share my message, since I didn’t believe that I had the capacity to deliver it in a way that others could hear, or understand.
Sharon looked at me with acceptance, love, and compassion. Sharon had been listening to my story for close to thirty years, and she had witnessed me sitting on my voice for most of that time. She then stated unequivocally that my message was my own, and must be spoken through me, or not at all. Even my tears, and begging, would not change her mind. I was in such pain and agony, that I knew that I could not go on with my life in any kind of healthy way, and I did not know what to do.
I had the experience of a lifetime of people experiencing me as less of a human being than I am, starting with my own diseased father, followed by a steady progression of angry, sometimes hateful, judgmental male and female power figures, with a few very notable exceptions, and I did not know how to act or feel differently. My voice had been silenced by myself and others, even in many settings where spiritually aware, conscious people gathered to celebrate connection.
This loving act on Sharon’s part by refusing to speak for me was instrumental in the recovery of my ability to speak and to write. I could not let myself die again emotionally and spiritually, so I asked my Spirit how to best deliver my message. A prayer from my past, first created from a dream in 1992, formed in my mind and began with “Grandfather, Great Spirit, Thank You”. All of a sudden I was COMPELLED to write, and I did not stop the process until fifteen pages of a story poured through me. My Spirit chose the format of a parable, perhaps knowing that it would be discarded, without reading, by those who already believed that they knew me. But the curious ones, the ones who had an inner Spirit that had not been yet stymied, would read, and appreciate, this aspect of the message that I now felt compelled to give to my world.
It took less than two days to write, and it was the first story I have ever written. I was never a writer, and before recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction, most of the insight that I had was irrelevant to recovery and healing, and certainly was not worth “writing home about”. While hospitalized for a month in 1984 for alcoholism, the journal that I was required to write about my daily insights seemed to be written by our society asking for permission to continue to be dysfunctional, rather than me getting in touch with my pain, and making progress with healing. People pleasing stories may be easier to read and write, but they sure lose their allure when one finally decides to move into the neighborhood of truth and real insight into self.
The dark mass in my body of energy disappeared upon completion of my story, coincidentally at about the same time that Marty’s tumor had been surgically removed. To this day, I remain healed of that darkness, though I am forced to write, and to share with, the One who listens. When I don’t write, I start to feel ill. Yes, I have finally learned that I need to listen to myself, more than just listening to other “authorities”.
As a result of this process, I had an insight that is extremely difficult to talk with others about, an insight about my relationship with Marty and his disease in the final year of his life. I saw how I had become attuned to Marty on a psychic level. Some have called this connection radical empathy, some have called it telepathic, some have called it just plain fucking mysterious, and some would call it insane thinking on my part. For me, this is a natural outcome of “prayer” as I defined it earlier following my experience with Gary Johnson of my electrical apprenticeship program.
Somehow, Marty’s structure of consciousness, his ego mind, part of his sense of self had been transmitted to me, and I “felt his presence” within my own sensitive, susceptible consciousness through my love, compassion, and concern for the man. This is how I was able to sense the dark, golf ball sized mass in my own brain. It was not my cancer, it was Marty’s. And I was also finally able to articulate the forces of oppression and repression within both of us for the first time. I never had the capacity to communicate around the two “black holes” or tricksters, revealed by the teaching from the Master on July 21, 1987, that were embedded within my own field of consciousness before this time. Somehow, through the mapping of Marty onto my peace of mind, a bridge of words was created to describe the vast matrix whose complete description had eluded me for all of these years. The light of my own awareness, shown through Marty’s and my shared matrix of consciousness, created the shadows, or words, words that ached to reach from the unknown to the knowing parts of myself.
When Marty died using the Death with Dignity approach on Septemmber 11th of that year, I began the excruciating process of letting go of my love and healing intentions for him. My father died on the day of Marty’s funeral, and so I had two major life events requiring the fullness of healing intentions. Indifference was never a blocking agent for me, so I experienced a tsunami of energy, and the cumulative impacts of empathy, unsuccessful healing intentions, and grief nearly drowned me in the turbulent seas of anxiety and depression. The way to survive a tsunami is to get into the deepest of waters, far from the shores where the tidal wave causes chaos and destruction. Of course, I was able to swim to deeper waters and I recovered, forever strengthened by this extraordinary life experience.
Empathy, positive or negative, is one of several powerful transmission vehicles for human collective consciousness to be carried to us as individuals, as well as acting as a return vehicle for our individual experiences to be delivered back to the collective field. Collective consciousness contains the history of the knowledge that human beings have accrued over eons of time. It contains a vast matrix of dedicated/fixed pathways of responses to all manors of environmental and social interactions. This is the entirety of our species’ training which has been transmitted to, or handed down to, countless generations of human beings, through parental interactions, education, religious training, and the lifelong social and emotional training gained by our continuous interface with other members of our species . Yet, as so much of this “common knowledge” is a result of incomplete or inaccurate information, and is the accumulation of all the theories embedded in our cultural past. If we act in a “knee jerk” reaction, or unconscious manner, to any societal or environmental stimulus, our response is all too likely to be dated, and inappropriate. The Judeo/Christian religious metaphor here is that our “first born” of thought may need to be “sacrificed” so as to make way for the truth of the moment.
In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
– Eric Hoffer
Perhaps our knee jerk reaction has been to hate and despise Donald Trump. There has been much written by conscious, caring people about the necessity of not hating Donald Trump, but to instead perceive him as an ill person, as a poor person, or even as a suffering person. This change of perception may open our own personal doors to compassion, sympathy, and love. It is OK to be angry with the President, as long as that anger does not get institutionalized into our minds. By clinging to anger and resentments over a long period time, there is an enhanced susceptibility to them becoming transformed into hate filled memories, or personally institutionalized hatred. We witness daily the collectively institutionalized hatred within our world culture, manifesting as religious persecution, patriarchy, xenophobia, misogyny, racism, bullying, homophobia, nationalism, earth ecology destructive (including extinction of countless species) and other self-destructive energy exchanges. We really do not want to add to the suffering of others, or of ourselves, by creating new pathways of institutionalized hatred.
Constructive anger is spontaneous, arising from being an active witness of the present moment, and is always relevant, productive, wakes up the oppressed and repressed spirit, and is helpful in generating extra motivational energy for constructive engagement with a world needing change. Constructive anger gives all parties involved an opportunity to share in the perception of a wrong or an injustice, and share in a plan to right the wrongs. Hatred and its divisive energy, on the other hand, has much deliberation behind it. Hatred arises from the historical deposits of unresolved anger or repressed pain and suffering within our memories, and looks at punishment and/or the destruction of others as a primary objective. Hatred develops from the collective deposits of darkness that our culture has handed down to us over many generations, as well as also arising from our personal painful and negative memories incurred over the course of our lives. Hatred, both collectively and individually acquired, becomes entrenched as a mostly unconscious dark power broker within our minds, keeping each of us pilloried to the past, and emotionally chained to the object(s) of our hatred. We are no longer free to respond to each new moment as it unfolds, instead substituting old patterns of self-defeating and oppressive responses to others, while repressing the desire to connect with peace and love.
It is time to free ourselves from the past!
What can be most difficult to consider is the truth that Donald Trump hates himself, and is truly indifferent to most of America. He tries to disguise his self- loathing and hatred through false narratives of his own greatness, while he derides and demeans all unlike himself, as well as any sincere detractors. His multitude of lies and deceptive behavior, and his need to manipulate our own perceptions of him show an absolute need to hide from the truth of his own diminished sense of self. He continuously projects out of his mind, and accuses the innocent, and the guilty, of all his personal shortcomings, deceptions, and criminality. His communication style is absolutely crazy making for any rational, intelligent human being, and the witness to his expression can feel like the fabric of sanity is being ripped apart right before their eyes. For those not under his hypnotic trance, his spiritual depravity is easily perceived, and felt. The unwary watcher, in an involuntary and forced relationship with this disfigured being, through negative empathy can inadvertently share in Trump’s hatred of himself. This is another manifestation of the stigmata syndrome, where the entrained observer inadvertently takes on the negative energy of the person under observation, and through the mirror neuron phenomenon, or negative empathy, share in the disfigured spirit that Trump continues to manifest.
This is an absolutely normal and natural response. Yet, as we become more conscious, it is revealed that we need no longer climb into Donald Trump’s pigpen and unconsciously support him in his self- hatred and self- loathing.
We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.
—-Anais Nin
According to the latest research on the human brain and its capacity to form perceptions, the brain works by “predictive coding”. It integrates new information based on the beliefs provided by old information. A typical human being moving through the world is not just passively perceiving sensory inputs through the senses, but actually assembles a model in the mind based on what is expected to be seen. This mental setup allows the perceiver to move unbothered through the world, taking in each detail without too much analysis. The brain has been found to have the capacity to overpredict, at times expecting something to be there that is not. That expectation can, literally, create a self-hypnotic suggestion or hallucination, and a non-existent thing can be perceived as if it was really there. Until we free ourselves from our internalized models for reality, we, as human beings, move from one self-fulfilling prophecy, to another, until we wake up from our dreams.
THE DREAM:
Around 55 years ago, at 9 years of age I had a most amazing, realistic dream. This was during a period of time when I slept very little, as I usually got to sleep no earlier than midnight, no matter how early I went to bed. I lay in bed and reviewed the day every night before sleep, and see where I could have done things better, or said something a little differently. My dreams had finally evolved beyond the continuous nightmare phase that I was accustomed to, prior to age 8. But, being so immature, and not too worldly in my knowledge, I did not have the necessary background to know what to think about the dream. I had discussed the dream with my older sister, who seemed to have some partial answers to its mysteries (based on her understanding of reincarnation), but so many mysteries remained to be explained. I waited and watched for further answers, and went on with the all of the important business of being a carefree boy, though at times, I fleetingly experienced “self-awareness”.
Here is the dream:
The priest, having received his directive from “on high”, then returned to his village along the lake in the high mountain region. He gathered all of the villagers together, and informed them that they were to take every golden figurine, every sacred symbol that they owned, and they were to throw them all into the lake, and never to think about them again. Then, he told each villager that they must each go into their own home, and face the “evil one” without any protection or care from any of their gods or their symbols of the sacred.
The priest then returned to his own home, having tossed all of his own idols and treasures into the deep blue lake. He stripped himself bare of all clothing, and then began to summon the forces of the dark. He became surrounded by a fog, and as he lifted his hands, sparks started flying out of his fingertips at the unknown force of darkness that lay just beyond his visual field, still hidden beyond the boundaries of the fog. The priest refocused his energy into his arms, and hands, and the sparks grew into a steady energy field, extending from his body, his heart, and his spirit, towards his unknown adversary. He was determined to overcome this force, this dark energy, and he redoubled his efforts. The priest’s heart began to race out of control, he began to sweat profusely, and a growing sense of fear and dread began to take hold of his entire being, as he finally understood that his energy could not last forever. Yes, for him to continue this battle, he must sacrifice all of his life force. Yet, he felt that he had no choice but to keep engaging the enemy, to finally see the face of the force that had terrorized his village since time began. He desperately strained and stretched to see the object of his fear and disdain, even as the ebbing energy field flowing from his fingertips continued to cut through the fog. Suddenly, a face began materializing before his faltering gaze. As he collapsed to the floor, almost drained of all life, he could no longer fight an undeniable truth– the face of the evil one might be his own!
A difficult truth must be embraced:
All that we will ever see, unto eternity, is the extension of our consciousness. And, we must never forget, no matter how isolated or independent that we feel, that we share consciousness with the entirety of planet Earth. How we see ourselves determines the quality of our life experience, and the integrity of our connection with our “higher power”. Insight into the corrupted matrix of human consciousness and its limited understanding leads to the new pathways of consciousness where intuition and spiritual power are more readily accessed.
It is time to turn our spiritual power up to MAXIMUM.
This fact has been verified by mystics, sages, and now, quantum theorists, so it should not be passed over like an unpopular dish at dinner time. Historically, the human race has become addicted to the religious junk food continuously being processed from the limitations of our distant past, rather than feasting at the table of the infinite Spirit of Now. The Vice President Pence justified sharing in hatred of gays and drug users in the 1980’s and 1990’s by claiming AIDS was God’s punishment for all such people that God hated for not obeying “God’s laws”. We all suffered because of the collective narrative of hatred being shared by the victims, and their accusers.
One can only wonder what the twisted, secret narrative that both Mike Pence, and Donald Trump, are entertaining in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. I am not sure that Pence has evolved much from his hateful AIDS postures of the past. His own self-hatred, as represented by a corrupted view of the “will of God” may well be one of the primary reasons behind the administration’s incompetent, hands off approach to the disaster unfolding in our country. Pence has entertained more than one “apocalyptic narrative” that justifies his position as a passive witness to God’s wrath punishing the wicked and the heathen, rather than him acting as an active participant in the salvation of the oppressed. Like Trump, he disregards the seriousness of the pandemic, and won’t even wear a mask to protect others from the potential of his own viral infection. They both continue to manifest their hatred of the world through their shared callous disregard for the safety of the people that they make contact with.
Make America Great Again? Vote in November!
Trump and his administration are guilty of many mistakes over the course of the last three years, but their response to the pandemic is enough to stir anger and distress in any saint, or sinner that I know. Pardon me if I mistake Trump’s moves as the “mark of the beast”, or the actions of a broken, spiritless man.
- refusal to heed early warnings from abroad,
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refusal to listen to expert advice from within the US health care system,
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punishing those seeking to implement a timely strategy,
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lying to the American people about the pandemic,
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failing to provide enough tests soon enough,
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failing to produce adequate medical equipment soon enough,
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refusing to get samples of the virus necessary for work on vaccines and therapeutics,
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prioritizing contracts for companies connected to Trump or to the Kushner family,
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failure to implement enforceable social distancing and face protection rules,
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failure of federal leaders to practice safe social distancing and face protection,
And, most damningly,
- failing to formulate a coordinated national response.
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failure to acknowledge a massive loss of life, and a massive amount of suffering, with no caring, conscious leader to lead the national mourning for our victims.
The New Trump Towers
As their response to the “outer world” is their response to their “inner world” (remember, all that we ever see, unto eternity, is ourselves), it is obvious that they do not respect or honor much of who they are, or their neglected, but sacred, relationship with all of humanity. As we “empathize” with Trump, or even Pence, with their self- hatreds, that hatred attaches itself to neglected or disassociated fragments within ourselves, and circulates within our consciousness underneath the surface, taking on a disturbed life of its own. We have allowed this administration to plant seeds of their own self-destruction into our minds. We are all susceptible to some extent, depending upon the depth of our own self-awareness and personal insight. Thus, a “trickster” of hatred can be introduced into our consciousness, taking us to sometimes undesirable and uncomfortable psychological places. Yet this awareness may lead to amazing, healing insights for ourselves, so we need not judge or be harsh with ourselves. In the “seeing”, these illusory processes, or “mirages of thought” are no longer unconscious, and our freedom of perceptual choice is returned to us. We are learning and healing!
Trump is a pathetic, and, at times, a deplorable human being, as are some of his ardent supporters, yet we can all be spiritually reduced a notch or two by supporting this devil and his tribe by sharing in his hatred of himself. We will no longer “waste our hate” on Trump, or anybody else for that matter, realizing that they (the image of the other created in our own minds) has become a projection of a newly formed aspect of our own unconscious collectively shared negative self-image. “You” can never be real in any ultimate sense, since the “you” or the Donald Trump, exists as only a conceptual image in our minds. The mental pugilist blows that we direct at Donald and his friends ends up being directed predominantly against ourselves, because we are fighting the creations within our own minds, and the collective mind that we share with others, rather than actually exchanging energy with the objects of our objections, which is the only place where objective change may occur.
Donald Trump always retains his advantage of being a one-way transmitter of negative energy to the world. He rarely places himself in a vulnerable position where he can be a genuine receiver of the abhorrent behaviorial energy that he emits, and is continuously attempting to reflect back to him. We all have witnessed his deplorable confrontations with reporters, who can only serve as surrogates for us, as a concerned public. So, we must still write our letters to our congressmen, stage our protests (when safe), and hold community meetings to speak our truth and maintain our own sanity. We must not indiscrimately crash our personal truth against the rocks of corruption and injustice, and instead join with others with like mind, and develop conscious plans of action against all oppressors.
Oh shadow boxer of evil, when will you ever tire?
Tis champion of a nightmare world to which you aspire!
Stop resuscitating dead illusions with those mental pugilist blows,
There is a Peace in each new moment, be the One who in the now knows!
The only way to permanently remove this spiritual eyesore from our vision is to heal our inner sight, realizing that profound changes in our own consciousness eventually impacts our world, remembering that “all that we will ever see unto eternity, is ourselves”. Because we also remember that our minds are inextricably intertwined with the collective consciousness of the world, we will continue to have ample opportunities to bring healing to the world, and to our sense of self which is in relationship to the collective.
We remain wary of the theological theories of Jesus and Christianity. In their misunderstanding, Jesus negatively empathized with THE WORLD, and took on the sins of the world, in the ultimate act of the stigmata syndrome. His crucifixion was his sacrifice to God, to save us from our sins, according to the theological theorists. Apply grains of salt liberally here, ok? There is no God in heaven or on earth that would EVER use this dysfunctional philosophical vehicle to bring redemption and “salvation” to the human race. If Jesus truly believed that by sacrificing himself, the world would be saved, Jesus was much more unevolved than history would leave us to believe that he truly was. This mistake is a carryover from ancient Judaic tradition, where sacrifices of animals, and, sometimes sons, were required to placate their misunderstanding of God. He died because he was unpopular with the status quo, and hated by the religious leaders of his age. His crucifixion was the standard punishment for revolutionaries in those days.
The truth is that the writers and theorists attempting to represent Jesus’s teachings are the unevolved ones. Their own supplemental theological speculations over many generations, coupled with the overall ignorance of the Christian religious world, continues the promotion of those spiritual fantasies as truth. The Buddhists made the same mistake as the Christians, proposing the idea that “grace” was available to the worker who toiled in the fields all day, the worker in full survival mode and having no time for reflection, meditation, and personal transcendence. They did this to protect themselves from the jealousy and resentments of those outside of their sacred field of energy, an energy which is only available to those who have the deepest desire for truth. In Japan, monks were attacked and murdered, until the monks developed a doctrine which incorporated the idea that even the insincere religious follower could be benefitted by some sort of benevolent collective spiritual action, or “grace”. The truth eternally remains: no teacher or act of grace will effect our salvation, we must each work it out for ourselves. We are personally responsible to take all necessary steps towards our transcendence. We must follow NEW paths of consciousness, and let go of all controls which keep us tethered to the past.
Religious reasoning is an oxymoron. This “understanding” would give any conscious person cognitive whiplash
Our permanent “salvation” is only worked out within the individual minds and hearts of true seekers of Truth and Love, and can never be delivered through the efforts of someone else, no matter how historically exalted of a position that individual occupies in the religious pantheons. We must sacrifice our own misunderstandings of who we mistakenly thought that we were, and who and what we thought the rest of creation is, allowing for the new universal truth to resurrect our understanding of self and other. Failure to do so will make us more vulnerable to unconsciousness, where the process of negative empathy, and in the extreme, collective suffering and the stigmata syndrome, may expose us to spiritual chaos, and potentially death. We do not need to self-crucify, to remain connected with the rest of the human race, and to bring healing to the world.
The world will always be reminding us how far we are, collectively, from healing. We do our best to remain engaged with the world, while not allowing the world to overrun our morals, ethics, and spiritual intentions. And we need not spiritually die because of the “sins” of the world, whether it is toxic capitalism, toxic masculinity (and patriarchy), toxic politics, or toxic religion. We always retain freedom of choice, and must exercise and accept personal responsibility for those choices, in all of our lives. If our choices bring harm to ourselves or to each other, we are free to choose again. We make amends wherever possible after any error in our presentation, which keeps our empathy channels fully opened.
While what Donald Trump is, in truth, remains impossible to ascertain, his negative, self-defeating behavior will likely continue to be troubling to all thoughtful, moral, ethical, caring beings. Is he the Devil? Is he a rattlesnake, just waiting to bite all of us, and inject us with deadly venom? Or is he an angel, and we just don’t have the perceptual tools to see it? Well, I am sure that he is not wholly just one of these assessments. Trump probably carries a fair amount of all of these qualities, though unevenly weighted toward the darker sides. The point is for the rest of us to maintain a keen curiosity about our world, and all of the people in it, including Trump, and continue to be conscious, and aware, of our tendency to overreact to each assault on our spiritual and political sensibilities.
We all must cultivate a better spiritual presentation for ourselves than does this President. To hate Trump is to negatively empathize with him, and subject ourselves to his divisive energy. We must save our empathy and energy for those who truly can benefit from it. Donald Trump does NOT want to change, he wants everybody else to change to conform to his disfigured understanding as to how life should be. Yet, most mindful people have certain aspects of our own lives that we would like to change, to enhance our own self image and self worth. These are things that we can work on successfully. Those others who also want to change, while still suffering under the disfiguring conditions of our civilization, want and deserve our empathy and compassion.
In 1987, I met Marie Schmidt, a practitioner of Joel Goldsmith’s The Infinite Way, which is a movement involved with mysticism and spiritual healing.. She was a woman about 87 years old, who taught every Sunday at the old YWCA on 10th Avenue in downtown Portland. I had seen a simple advertisement for her tape group, while attending the International New Thought Alliance conference in Portland in August of 1987. The tape group was a combination meditation group, and a forum for listening to the taped teachings of Joel Goldsmith, a spiritual healer and mystic who first began his healing practice shortly after the Great Depression began.
She had been holding weekly meditations and tape recorded playbacks of Joel’s actual messages since 1962. Marie would sit in the front of the room, and lead a 15 minute meditation, followed by the playing of a cassette tape of one hour length. She had a collection of at least 300 tapes, of which I eventually copied virtually all of them, and committed them to memory as best that I could. Marie had over 1000 hours of his recorded messages, which she ended up giving to me, and which I converted to digital format.. Some of the tapes were the old style reel-to-reel, and I was not able to convert those tapes to the more modern digital format.
I was captured by this group, which had mostly older people who attended. I believe that I was the youngest person there, for the period from 1987-1991, while I remain involved with her group. Initially, I kept my distance from most of the people, not really being sure what the whole business was about. I eventually drew Joan Madsen and Marcus Jones into the group, who I knew from the International New Thought Alliance convention of 1987, as well as Alcoholics Anonymous, and the Living Enrichment Center.
One day in February of 1989, after I had just broken off an engagement to be married to Laurie H, and I was devastated. The sweet old woman, Marie, offered me a “healing session”. Well, I had my doubts, and nothing to lose, and I was a little curious about this “healing business”. I went up to her apartment, still devastated, and meditated with her for 15 minutes. At the end, Marie spoke the “message” that she heard from Spirit, in regards to me.
“More perfect than you are, you could never be”,
with
“All that is human, is illusion”.
Well, OK, but how can I possibly apply that spiritual salve?
As I thanked her for her time, I then noticed I was totally at peace, and I was “healed” of all of my emotional disturbances around the ending of my engagement to Laurie. It was as if the winds of Spirit had blown away everything from my mind, except peace and joy.
As I look at my life’s history, I have been healed by its Loving Mystery.
I later tried to have her heal my mentally sick ex-wife, Donelle, with no success. So there were limits to her ability, though she always stated that God heals, not herself . I can almost now hear Marie’s voice, telling me, in regards to all of us:
“More Perfect than you are, you could never be.”
How that manifests in all of our lives remains an unraveled mystery, to be experienced by us each day that we have the privilege to wake up. She would tell me that we are all blessed by each other’s continued walk through life. Love goes before us, to make all of “the crooked places straight”. We are Loved, and, in fact are Love Itself. The body goes where it must, but also, so does our Hearts. Go in Peace and Love, and always be willing to bring healing to any situation, for that is our mission, and who we are always to be.
In 1994, Marie was placed in the St. Andrews home near Mt. Tabor, when her nephew noted her deteriorating health, and he was concerned about her decline. Marie continued to practice healing with the other patients, even while under care of the attending professionals. My last visit to her, prior to her death, was characterized by her still restating to Sharon and me of our perfection in the eyes of God.
“More Perfect than you are, you could never be.”
—–Marie Schmidt
At lunch with Marie, my wife Sharon, and I, around 1990
Believe in yourself. Believe in your potential. Be in your UNIQUE PRESENCE.
BE NOW, AND BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT “I AM” IS THE DOOR TO THE ONLY GOD THAT WE CAN EXPERIENCE AS HUMAN BEINGS.
And, please save yourself.
Wasting energy on a man who is wasting himself is not a productive endeavor. I am not advocating indifference towards the President or to his supporters, but instead more like taking the posture of a detached witness to him, his continuing shenanigans and his minions, while responding in emotionally intelligent manners that do not bring harm to ourselves or to others. We can cultivate the thought and feeling of wanting better for the man than he wants for himself, remembering that Trump is indeed sick, and suffering under the conditions of his own spiritual disease.
Donald Trump continues to create the conditions for his own disrepute and destruction. This is why Donald Trump is now dying, for he has lost love and self-respect for everyone but his own limited tribe of understanding. Roger Stone, the sleazy political operative and personal confidant of Trump, has publicly stated, as far as political advertising is concerned, that “hate is a more powerful motivating force than love”. We can see that Trump enlists and employs that energy to mobilize his base. We need not follow him and his supporters into the darkest of ditches. Trump steers his consciousness towards chaos and division, while we steer our own towards unity and understanding.
Donald Trump, like all self-haters, just wants to watch his world burn. We need not burn with him.
The Voice Of Awakening (continued)
Oh seekers of Truth, God’s high mount we must climb, while sometimes stumbling through the desert dunes shifting sands of time.
We must stop being fooled by culturally accepted rhyme and reason, for they are surely to get charged by Love with treason!
Are we but marionette’s dancing images trapped upon ATM screens of corrupted monetized minds?
With Trump’s and Corporate America’s dollar driven beliefs in control, what freedom can we find?
We must release ourselves from the spiritual imprisonment of these choking, binding strings,
And unleash our hearts’ truest wisdom that our liberated Intelligence can then bring.
As shadow boxers of Trumped Up Evil, to what ends do we hope to aspire?
Becoming co-champions with false leaders’ in their nightmares creates situations that are perpetually dire!
Stop resuscitating dead illusions with those self-destructive mental pugilist blows,
So our hearts can then support the real fight against Dark Ones who are now on public show.
As an entrant in hate’s marathon, only on Life’s treadmills will we perpetually stand,
To make these missteps over and over dooms us all to fail and become life’s also-rans,
Who forever just chase in vain Sanity’s unifying, healing voice.
So step off of all divisive, circular belts, and share first place in the Life all may rejoice!
As seekers for Peace, on Truth’s high mount’ we must eternally climb,
Or we will stumble through the swirling sands of chaotic, corrupted minds.
That tempts and confuses distracted minds with the lies of false rhyme and reason,
So our wisdom must object to this deceit, and charge those thoughts with treason!
To finally realize the Truth, is to see ignorance’s agendas are illusions that limit and bind,
Spun together with the golden threads of the Emperor’s New Clothes, his evil tailors still wind,
To corrupt the minds and hearts of all innocents, and all of the vulnerable that they can find.
So we must continue to seek our own truth, and then our struggle becomes Sublime!
The non-illuminated, restless mind is devoid of all of Love’s rhyme and Truth’s reason,
And only chases after desert mirages, until it sees the internal corruption that is guilty of treason.
Shame on you, Donald Trump, your minions, and the pseudo-Christians who continue to support you.
Blessings to all of America’s holy warriors, who seek for, and hold onto, all that is just, equitable, and true.
It is little wonder why any of us found ourselves becoming repulsed by this man, and some even hating this demon. Yes, negative empathy, in sharing Donald Trump’s hatred of himself, while not sharing the objects of his hatred, has brought to us many lessons about ourselves, and how we might see the whole of life more clearly. We have cleared the film off of our glasses, but Donald Trump remains blinded by his hubris and self-hatred. We have healed the parts of ourselves that would create hatred and havoc as a response to this damaged, corrupted human being. We can hope and pray for this disfigured man to see the light of love and reason, yet none of us are holding our breaths until it happens.
There is as much to learn from a spiritually disfigured human being as Donald Trump, as there is from exalted figures from our spiritual heritage and history. Trump is part of our present existence. Trump is an emanation of our universal consciousness. Yet, the thought of Trump brings few to a state of bliss or contentment. By the seeing of Trump as he is, we can see the blocks to our access to that which exists BEYOND such a distorted image, which just might be universal love and truth. In the seeing, we may transcend that which is seen, and soar to new heights of understanding and experience. Some of us may even experience the same realms as those pointed to by Jesus, the Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, or other revered saints and sages.
A long term friend of mine, who is also a long term friend of the Dalai Lama has said that my understanding is contrary to the teachings of this Buddhist monk, but I will not let that deter me. Had the Dalai Lama been raised under the same conditions of life as I had, and vice versa, our spiritual theories and realities would have been significantly different from our present positions. There are millions of opinions as to how to best live life, and even my friend’s take on the Dalai Lama is only an opinion. Today I choose to not allow other people’s opinions to support my tendency to be repressive of my true nature, and I instead opt to be more fully present for my truest sense of self in this moment.
My two cents worth is a better bargain than the nickel that Lucy charges.
The conscious people, the people who have already embraced healing and transformation, are co-writing with me a new story for mankind. Together, with my spiritual brothers and sisters, we are co-creating the new religion, the new world order, the new blueprint for humanity and its eternal evolution through this universe. Together we are overcoming millennia of oppression and repression of the human, and the animal spirit. Together, we are defending and honoring our sacred Mother Earth, the true creator and sustainer of life on this planet.
We must remain spiritually vigilant as we continue to be a conscious presence engaging with a world still dominated by toxic masculinity, toxic politics, toxic capitalism, and toxic religion. We must be able to access our anger, not hatred, as we address the injustices wrought upon the human soul through the ignorance and toxicity of others. Love will be our guardian as we make the difficult confrontations with those who do not respect, or honor, the wholeness of life on our Mother Earth that we all share together in love and in truth.
If we lose love and self-respect for each other, this is how we finally die.
—Maya Angelou
In case it was not directly observed, what I have presented here is a meditation on love, hatred, indifference, anger, spiritual healing, and the process of forgiveness. Mindfulness allows for us to see what is immediately before us, and choose between the knowns of the past, and the unknown present. Forgiveness is an openness to the mystery of the present. Forgiveness, however, does not forget or excuse the offender from his misdeeds, especially while the offender continues abhorrent behavior. Forgiveness releases the practitioner from the damages of incurring negative perceptions of others. We still must act consciously and decisively against all forces which continue to imperil our lives, our family’s lives, and the life of our planet. We must continue to be willing to speak truth to power, whether the power is in the White House, or in our own hearts.
Love unifies, hate fragments. As human beings, we must be conscious enough to choose the best way to present ourselves to the world, and to ourselves, as we face the challenges of the insanity within our world. Our world is in greatest need of hearts that are expanding through mutual positive empathy, rather than contracting through negative empathy, or indifference. We did not create the world as it is now, we cannot control it, nor can we cure it. But we can evolve, and, collectively, we can address the disease of the spirit that is dominating our world civilization, and which continues to bring devastation to our world, and to all of the life upon it.
Each of us are beings with infinite potential. Yet, each of us must break free from the conditioning of our personal past, and our cultural past. There are four pillars supporting higher consciousness, which are (1) via negative- through negating what is not real, seeing what might be real, (2) via positiva-through constantly affirming the goodness inherent in life, reading the writings of mystical poets and saints, and being a grateful participant of life, we may experience Grace, (3) via transformativa- through re-creating or re-birthing ourselves through educational means and/or mystical connection, and bringing forth a new person, or our new understanding of our self, into the world, in the image and likeness of a more universal consciousness, and (4) via creativa- developing and/or expressing our innate ability to co-create with the Universe, by expressing ourselves through art, music, writing, or other means. We must access the deepest of desires to transcend the boundaries of self, and to reimagine our existence.
Recovery, Discovery, and Another Me (extreme edit)
Spiritual freedom has never been about guns, money, or religion,
Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.
– Matthew 9:17 (NIV)
We must travel new paths of consciousness, letting go of all controls that keep us tethered to the past, with its incomplete perceptions and understandings. In the end, there is no teacher who will effect our salvation, for it is a personal journey, where we must accept responsibility for the totality of our lives, and make all necessary adjustments in course that will take us to our spiritual goals. We can actually rebirth ourselves, into a new understanding that the Universe has birthed itself in an infinitude of forms through the portal of Mother Earth, and each of us is “one verse” of the song of creation.
It is this belief in a power larger than myself and other than myself which allows me to venture into the unknown and even the unknowable.
— Maya Angelou
“Our lives begin to end, the moment that we become silent about things that matter”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Be mindful, oh Mankind, of all of the painful secrets that we must keep,
For, by our suffering silence, we will not awaken, but just die alone, powerless, and asleep.
—–Bruce Paullin
Recovery is not just for habituated abusers of sex, food, drugs and alcohol, it is for ALL people who want to make positive, life affirming and healing changes in their lives.
It is a long, happy life, for those who find their personal Truth.
12 Steps Of Recovery: Revised To Reflect My Spiritual Experience
- Through our own extended suffering, we finally found the desire to want it to end. We admitted that when we become self-destructively habituated to any substance, situation, or relationship, we lose our freedom of choice, bring unnecessary trauma into our lives, and into the lives of others, and, thus, fail to achieve any lasting sense of inner peace and joy. We finally realize that our lives have been lived unconsciously, and have become unmanageable as a result of that neglect.
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With our new found hope and openness for change, came the desire to begin to awaken to higher possibilities for our lives. We realized that, in our essence, we have an interior, though neglected, power that will heal us and restore us to balance, if we pursue it in earnest. We now realize that we have not been living up to our full potential as human beings.
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We made a decision to turn our will, and our lives, over to the care of a higher, though mostly neglected interior power. We become open to the possibility of embracing a new Truth for our lives. We want to access the power to continuously evolve, and we want to cultivate our heart to be more loving to ourselves and to others. We decide to let go of ANYTHING that impedes our progress towards happiness, healing and wholeness. We realize that without the deepest of desires, and intentions, to change our behavior, we will not be transformed.
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We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We have lived a life without a high sense of self-esteem, and we have made unfortunate choices because of the scarcity consciousness that has resulted from it. We realize that when we find the blocks to our evolution, and become willing to remove them, our new found insight will guide our paths with precision to the Truth of our existence. This is our entrance onto the path of mindfulness and higher consciousness.
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We admitted that we were not being truthful with ourselves and with others, and by talking with another who we may trust, yet not be beholden to, about our errors in judgement and in actions towards our self and others, we can better deal with the shame and self-judgement that so often arises from the deadly secrets that we once felt that we must keep. Just by honestly talking with someone else, our burdens can be lifted. Our secrets need no longer keep us imprisoned, and mentally ill. When two or more people come together in the spirit of truth and honesty, mutual compassion and empathy also become part of the gathering.
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We became entirely willing to let go of our attachments to unhealthy attitudes, behavior, and people. We wish to see clearly, without the limitations of our past, of our family history, and of our cultural conditioning, with all of their embedded trauma.
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We open our hearts through humility and the willingness to change to embrace a new possibility for our life. Our new found sense of connection with our higher interior power inspires us to become more grateful for the gifts that we now have, and we are now spiritually preparing to finally give back to the world in a meaningful, positive way. We want to finally let go of all of the emotional charged memories which keep us trapped in a dead past. Rejoice, for the old demons are being transformed into the new angels!
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While we were unconscious to our higher potential as human beings, we brought emotional, spiritual and perhaps even physical harm to other innocent beings, and we want to try bring healing and peace to those who have suffered from the effects of our ignorance. We realize that through the mirror of all of our relationships, dysfunctional or otherwise, we are granted a view into how we truly see ourselves. We want to see through the eyes of Truth, and not through the pain and suffering that unfulfilled relationships may have brought to us.
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We made direct amends wherever possible to all people we may have brought harm to, except when to do so would bring further injury to them or to others. Our guilt will not be assuaged at the expense of others. We make full application of our new found wisdom, and our renewed desire to bring no harm to any sentient being. We want our world, and our own personal sense of self, to feel safe from further attacks from us, and our honest disclosure of our mistakes to those impacted by our errors in judgement will continue to support that intention.
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We continued to take personal inventory, and, when wrong, promptly admit it. We have become honest with ourselves. We practice mindfulness, and continue to develop our capacity for insight into ourselves. We now know ourselves, and we now know many of the potential impediments to experiencing and expressing the Truth of our being. We no longer solely abide in old modes of thought, and now we are more focused on the witnessing of the beauty of the light of the present moment, which we strive to no longer darken by our formerly unhealed states of mind..
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We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with the Truth of our being, praying only for knowledge of Truth, and the willingness to live within its infinite domain. We now understand that this whole process of recovery is a meditation on life, and that the evolving, healing life that we are now experiencing is our living prayer. Each time we drink from the deep interior waters revealed to us by meditation, more of our painful dreams are dissolved. We finally realize that the capacity to change, to evolve, to grow in our infinite spirit is the whole point of our human existence. We are now traveling upon new paths of consciousness.
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Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we attempted to carry our message of recovery to our world, while continuing to practice these principles in all our affairs. We have finally become whole, and are now conscious, caring human beings. We have accepted full personal responsibility for our lives, including healing our past, and keeping our present balanced and harmonious, and we no longer blame others for who we are now. We are now experiencing prosperity on many levels, and have witnessed the healing of ourselves. We have saved the world—from ourselves. Our life is now our truest teacher. We realize that we have no power to bring salvation to others, yet, it is our responsibility to point to the way of healing for others who may still be suffering, and who may finally become interested in overcoming their own limitation
