We spent a couple hours at the Zen Master’s museum today. In high school, Akiko studied Suzuki, as well as one of his disciples, Nishida. Akiko did not become conscious of Suzuki’s implications and teachings until later in life. I would have loved to study with Suzuki, and engage in dialogue, had I been born 25-30 years before. I would have cherished having been hit by his “zen stick” whenever I wandered too far away from ” the truth of the moment”..

It is said, to finally understand, one must strive for, and then achieve satori, lest one remain attached to one’s self and its limiting intellectual understanding. One must see beyond the contradictions of naming and reasoning. One must see through the fog of all dogmas, and the “truth” from the past, to perceive the ever-present reality unfolding in each unique moment. Then, one no longer is dependent on a deity, living or dead, for salvation. All power and truth comes from the cleared channel within. The individual lives, while being “bathed” continuously in transcendence, and by this immersion one is transformed.

Alan Watts was the first Zen adherent that I listened to late at night on a rock and roll radio station, in the early 1970’s. He was immensely influenced by DT Suzuki. I was “high” when I listened to him and rarely understood him, which, apparently, was quite a common experience in those times by many other neophytes. My mind was still messed up from toxic masculinity and Christianity, and too much drugs and alcohol. I stopped caring for spiritual realization when the concerns of family and career intervened, as well as a powerful long term drug dependency..

While at the museum, reading room, and contemplative area, I perused some of his famous essays, the one on Satori was particularly captivating. Miraculously, I not only now understand his writings, I also have tasted the spiritual water from the same fountain. Unlike Suzuki, however. I will die in obscurity and anonymity, as it should be. I will also die liberated from toxic forms of masculinity and Christianity, and drug addiction, but freed from my fate, to reach for my destiny..

Realization IS freedom. We all can live a life unbounded by other’s wayward understandings. We can live a life of freedom that few will ever conceive of or consider, and even fewer will experience. We can be freed from all of our pseudo-sacred “knowns”, Open heart and clear mind leads to transcendent life experience. Many are called to this eternal awareness, yet only a few will answer.

In the words of a master electrician I “studied under” as an apprentice, who demeaned, persecuted and prodded me continuously:

“Don’t be so fucking good, just learn how to blend in.”

Ken Garver, if you are still alive, you might have been on to something, even though you were quite the toxic, ignorant man.

Sorry, I just could not help myself!

Back to just blending inward with Spirit..

Categories: Musings

Bruce

Presently, I am 67 years old, and I am learning how to live the life of a retired person. I am married to Sharon White, a retired hospice nurse, and writer. Whose Death Is It Anyway-A Hospice Nurse Remembers Sharon is a wonderful friend and life partner of nearly 30 years. We have three grandsons through two of Sharon's children. I am not a published writer or poet. My writings are part of my new life in retirement. I have recently created a blog, and I began filling it up with my writings on matters of recovery and spirituality. I saw that my blog contained enough material for a book, so that is now my new intention, to publish a book, if only so that my grandsons can get to know who their grandfather really was, once I am gone. The title for my first book will be: Penetrating The Conspiracy Of Silence, or, How I Lived Beyond My Expiration Date I have since written 7 more books, all of which are now posted on this site. I have no plans to publish any of them, as their material is not of general interest, and would not generate enough income to justify costs. I have taken a deep look at life, and written extensively about it from a unique and rarely communicated perspective. Some of my writing is from 2016 on to the present moment. Other writing covers the time prior to 1987 when I was a boy, then an addict and alcoholic, with my subsequent recovery experience, and search for "Truth". Others are about my more recent experiences around the subjects of death, dying, and transformation, and friends and family having the most challenging of life's experiences. There are also writings derived from my personal involvement with and insight into toxic masculinity, toxic religion, toxic capitalism, and all of their intersections with our leadere. These topics will not be a draw for all people, as such personal and/or cultural toxicities tends to get ignored, overlooked, or "normalized" by those with little time for insight, introspection, or interest in other people's points of view on these troubling issues. There also will be a couple of writings/musings about "GOD", but I try to limit that kind of verbal gymnastics, because it is like chasing a sunbeam with a flashlight. Yes, my books are non-fiction, and are not good reading for anybody seeking to escape and be entertained. Some of the writings are spiritual, philosophical and intellectual in nature, and some descend the depths into the darkest recesses of the human mind. I have included a full cross section of all of my thoughts and feelings. It is a classic "over-share", and I have no shame in doing so. A Master Teacher once spoke to me, and said "no teacher shall effect your salvation, you must work it out for yourself". "Follow new paths of consciousness by letting go of all of the mental concepts and controls of your past". This writing represents my personal work towards that ultimate end.