“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
― C.G. Jung
“The unexamined life is not worth living”
Socrates
“The unexamined life” , or the life lived unconsciously, refers to a life lived by rote under the rules of others without the individual ever examining whether or not he truly wants to live with those routines or rules. According to Socrates, this type of life was not worth living. Rather than living an unexamined life, Socrates chose death, and these words are attributed to the philosopher during one of his last speeches before his suicide. As we watch the destruction of our sacred planet Earth,, by unconscious members of the human race, we see the tragic, epoch ending behavior of a race that has appeared to have chosen collective suicide through living unexamined lives.
This book is about the recovery and awakening from the human condition, which is a process that EVERYBODY needs to participate in. Denial is not a river in Egypt, it is a condition of the unconscious elements of the American Soul. Failure to accept personal responsibility for the ills of self, and the damage to our planet, continues to be promoted by the toxic American males, and all too often is also supported by the American females. Our home planet Earth, and hundreds of millions of innocent animals, and humans, are dying because of us. Books will continue to be written by fools like me, but only Love and Truth, ultimately, can set us free.
The truth is that the practicing addict, alcoholic, and toxic human, whether the toxicity is caused through religious, economic or cultural values, is also living an unexamined life. An early death through accidents, poor health choices or suicide, is at a much higher likelihood for occurrence for all such people, as well as the continued destruction of our planet Earth, with the increasingly catastrophic consequences that we will continue to witness. And, a mind hijacked by addictive substances and/or self-destructive or planet Earth destructive thoughts and behaviors will not readily adjust its course, without a compelling interior counter-argument being offered to its own often times unconscious desire for annihilation.
To develop the capacity for insight requires a tremendous depth of desire to know one’s self in a different, more profound, holistic, way, while overcoming a lifetime of suffering, ignorance, indifference towards and/or oppression by others, and repression of one’s emotional and spiritual nature. An inscription on a temple at Delphi stated: “Know thyself, and you will know the Universe and the Gods.” Insight, or “knowing thyself” has been the path to the Gods since the mind of man first postulated the existence of a unique self, and of a God.
Education and indoctrination tends to teach the student about other people’s perspectives on matters of individuality, self-expression, and connection with a “power greater than our self”, while confusing and hindering the individual’s direct connection and link to his own higher truth and nature. We become hypnotized by other people’s thoughts and attitudes, and mistakenly associate all others’ points of view as being our own, until we finally decide to break free from our own second-hand, culturally inculcated reality for the understanding of self, and other, and thus, start the journey of awakening.
Awakening is an interactive process, encouraged and facilitated by the pain and suffering that we experience as human beings, while engaging with the “real world”. Far too many Americans live in alternate universes, where pain and suffering are not directly dealt with, or are to be avoided at all costs, wherever possible. Immersion in fantasy and denial of our personal and collective responsibility towards the ills of this world also reigns supreme in major sections of our culture. This is fueled by addictions to media devices, diversions of our life force into entertainment and worship of TV and movie personalities, hypnosis by false religious and spiritual leaders, alcohol and drug addictions, and personal and sexual power abuses. To facilitate healing, we must reject the false leaders, hypnosis, hero-worshiping and idolatry, and we must become our own leaders, with awakened powers of understanding and compassion. All of the sleeping beauties, and the ugly ones with warts, will continue to sleep, until their nightmares become so frightening that they either have to wake up to the “kiss of the healing prince, or princess”, or die.
Early in 2017, I began yet another process of “awakening”, which for me is another term for the experience of enhanced insight. In January of 2017, I took my father to the doctor, and my number one concern, next to my dying father’s needs, was that my father was going to outlive me. Why would such a concern erupt within my own mind? The stress of providing care for a moderately demented older “gentleman” did exact quite the toll, even though it also provided great spiritual benefits to me. My father was quite passive and gentle the last several years of his life, in quite the contrast to his earlier years, yet the historical momentum established through my sixty-two years of relationship with him just did not magically end or transform itself, and I continued to feel some internal challenges to my equanimity. My relationship with my father had created much of the irregularities in the foundation for my own vision of life and of love, especially in my years prior to age thirty-one. This was the year of my new beginning in life, when I became sober, and began my spiritual awakening in earnest.
I developed some insight into how my own father’s ignorance and selfish needs early in my childhood negatively impacted my own mind’s formation. There was a revelation within me that as a result of my father’s sometimes toxic influence in my life, I had unwittingly and unconsciously created two fundamental cores to my personal dysfunction. I came to refer to these forces as “tricksters”, and a thorough examination of all of my “inner demons” showed that they were created through incomplete, unskilled interactions with life. Their presences initially kept me from being helpless as I attempted to navigate the world as a young being, offering their own extremely limited versions of interior guidance. But, these miscreations kept me from developing into my greater good as an independent, free adult human being. It was around these cores that the whole of my consciousness swirled around, as if drawn and disfigured by two distinct, though interconnected, loci of negative influence. These “dark masses of influence” resembled actual personality subsets within my consciousness, and I posit that these forces are the precursors to all manners and types of mental illness, including anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, and multiple personality disorder.
My father represented, in a perfect way, how my life experience had become overshadowed by the needs and concerns of our culture, and its own unconscious needs to dominate, control, and oppress, especially those who did not conform to its often conflicted, twisted values. My father had great difficulty, in times of stress, in recognizing the intrinsic value of all life, including my “baby self”, and my essence as a young boy. My father showed to me, in a perfect way, what a potential end point looks like from a lifetime lacking in true collaboration and emotional integrity while sharing life force with others. My father achieved many of his goals in life, yet at what cost did they come to him, and to the people who he may have influenced and over which he exerted control? And, what is the cost to a society that blindly plows forward while supporting ideals that do not conform to the development of all of its citizens’ highest nature, and truth?
“Boy Named Sue”, by Johnny Cash
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gbtm-93oqE
This song really does capture the basic story of my life, and that life which is impressed upon all of humanity. The boy named Sue has to begin his search for the source of his ‘bad name’ or nature, which was his absent father. He needs to conquer and punish those forces of abandonment and shame, yet after confronting his “darkness”, he gains an understanding of his father, forgives him, and states a new intention for his life. As a culture, and as individuals, we unconsciously transmit our understandings of life through our children, so even if the child of the “original dysfunction” wanted to have a radically different life, they are still predisposed to make many of the same mistaken judgments in life. Like Sue, in this world, we are given an incomplete identity not our own, and forced to defend it for the rest of our lives, unless we can become aware of those unconscious relics of our shared history, or predispositions from the parental and historical past that would gives us our”Sue” nature.
With the death of my father, it ended the era of subservience to my perceptions of his needs. It also ended the era of incomplete grieving for my own mother’s death, as I never completely worked through my own process around her sudden demise. I was now an “orphan”, and all of the entanglements that kept me wound around their lives were now physically removed. My fathers’ spirit no longer could overshadow my own life, and now I was allowed to live fully into whatever, or whoever that I am. I found that I no longer had the unconscious need to protect my mother from my father’s wayward emotions and behavior, which I always girded myself for, and I had prepared myself to do throughout my life. In truth, however, I never really succeeded in protecting anybody from my perception of my father, including myself.
For me this is an extraordinary release, because my “ego” may have formed somewhat differently than much of the rest of humanity due to unusual parental bonding issues just after birth, and through my first 4-5 years. Being placed on “formula” right after birth, and being placed in a chilly car in the garage at night so that my father could sleep better (I was just another “damn crying baby”) left me as a young being with so-called “attachment issues”, such as feeling abandoned, and lonely, from the beginning. Though I loved my parents, I certainly did not want to grow up and be like them. Yet, I was not able to offer to my developing self a viable alternative to being like my father, being extremely limited creatively, and my resultant dull, though at times insightful, personality reflected that darkness throughout my childhood, and adulthood through my first thirty-one years of life.
In our world, there are countless examples of “self organizing systems”, and all creatures, and the minds of those creatures, are examples of that miracle in action. The bodies appear to be primarily organized through the pattern created by the history of that species, and it’s interactions with its earthly environment. DNA appears to carry that pattern within our very cells. Some biologists and scientists, such as Rupert Sheldrake, postulate the existence of a “morphogenetic” field of energy, in which in the whole biological and environmental history of all species are stored, and which each member of the species shares energy with. This name identifies a scientifically recognized process whereby the whole of the species influences the individual, and the individual can also exert influence on the whole, especially when the number of individuals is great.
To quote Rupert Sheldrake, as documented by John Horgan, in Scientific American, July 14, 2014:
“Morphic resonance is the influence of previous structures of activity on subsequent similar structures of activity organized by morphic fields. It enables memories to pass across both space and time from the past. The greater the similarity, the greater the influence of morphic resonance. What this means is that all self-organizing systems, such as molecules, crystals, cells, plants, animals and animal societies, have a collective memory on which each individual draws and to which it contributes. In its most general sense this hypothesis implies that the so-called laws of nature are more like habits”.
The human mind appears to have a self-organizing principle attached to it, as it organizes itself into a personal sense of being. Some say that the “word” or the act of first recognizing that a verbal sound or a specific set of symbols can represent an environmental influence is the initial generative force behind the “creation of the personal sense of self”. Helen Keller gives an outstanding account of the beginning of her own sense of self, once she recognized that the letters W A T E R represented the substance that she washed with, and drank.
But the mystery of the origination of the sense of self revolves around many additional factors, including how well the organism feels accepted by, and connected to the environment that the body travels through. Thus, healthier senses of self arise from, and are supported by, myriads of “successful” interactions with its social and physical environment, and the internal “name giving and associations” and stories that eventually get created by the self. First and foremost is the beings’ acceptance and integration into the primary family cell, or group. If the young being does not get the requisite positive feedback early on, it faces tremendous odds against forming a happy, well-adjusted self organizing principle, or ego. My first 31 years of life reflected the internalized horror of a life suppressed by the “conspiracy of silence” created by my subservience to a damaged image of self, and other. My own true nature, or possibility for experiencing another way of being, had been masked over, or silenced, through that process.
Black Holes
A black hole is a region of space/time exhibiting such strong gravitational effects that nothing—including particles and electromagnetic radiation such as light—can escape from inside it. The theory of general relativity predicts that a sufficiently compact mass can deform space/time to form a black hole. The boundary of the region from which no escape is possible is called the event. Within the human psyche, I posit the existence of consciousness “black holes”, or singularity points. We, as a human race, seem to have a predisposition to creating “black hole events” where no light (love, compassion, empathy, healing thoughts) escapes from our consciousness. These events occur especially during times of collective distress including mass hypnosis and the resultant mob mind activity that leads to wars, genocide, racism, xenophobia, hysteria and fear.
We, as individuals, also have a real talent for creating “black hole events” within our personal worlds, as well. Our concepts of time and space certainly get distorted, as present day events occurring in our lives get distorted within our minds by traumatic events of our past, or “black holes” of past influence through which the light of our ever unfolding “present moment of life” gets sucked into the darkness of a singularity point of a traumatic event from our past.
Our minds are “generators of consciousness”, which simply stated, means aspects of ourselves generate internal feedback, develop and support our own internal self-concept, create internal imagery and understanding of the “outer world” and support our verbal relationships with and actions towards all others. We attempt to match the “outer reality” by forming internal verbal and emotional linkages within ourselves, and this helps us to stay “relevant” and abiding within some measure of resonance and continuity with the perceived “external universe” or community that we presently share with others.
This “light” that we internally emit, and eventually share with our worlds either through action or verbal expression, is influenced dramatically by our own secret, internal agendas, whether we are conscious of those agendas, or not. While these agendas remain “unconscious”, they become the equivalent to our own internal “black holes”. All streams of consciousness that our minds and hearts attempt to “emit” become trapped in the swirling vortices of these powerful forces, and these internal “black holes” continue to influence virtually every aspect of our lives. And, if not dealt with consciously and carefully, these black holes will eventually draw all of our internal light into them, and we become unwitting agents of our own internal darkness.
To repress or deny these internal forces is to continue to feed them. As we get in touch with our fears, angers, hatreds, or whatever name for manifesting “darkness” that we might give to them, it is important to realize that these are great forces, and once they are harnessed, NOT REPRESSED OR DENIED, these “black holes” will continue to keep us connected to the real world, and, as we transmute their energy, the light within us uses these once “dark energies” for the good of ourselves, and for all mankind.
I have identified two major black holes within my own internal universe, which have created powerful forces of control, which must be dealt with directly and honestly, lest one’s entire life becomes a manifestation of “black hole events”. For me, I have named the BIG TWO. Number One, is the black hole that my voice will never be heard. Number Two, is the black hole of death. Insight finally reveals that these two are actually related, and are a direct result of failure to be fully integrated as a complete, healthy human being, and manifesting holistic or divine intent.
These two vortexes drew all of my internal light towards themselves, and by the time that those internal “singularity points” worked their dark magic to their fullness, I actually flirted with the end of my own life. Such is the way these “black hole events” can influence and control our lives, making peace of mind and positive, loving connections with others virtually impossible.
These “black holes” may remain, even after making profound spiritual and emotional changes. Their dark influence, however, continues to recede, once there is a committed intention to stay connected with insight and spiritual healing, where all true light comes from. As I strive to stay balanced internally, so shall my walk through the rest of my life remain balanced, as well. Insight keeps these forces balanced internally, so that the “spirit of wholeness” within us can utilize our energy in more “sane” and mutually beneficial ways.
And, for more than one of us, these “black holes” are eventually transformed into “white holes”, where no darkness can escape, and all of our experience becomes “enlightened”. We can’t short-circuit this process, by just substituting the pleasant-sounding “spiritual froth ” produced by other great spiritual thinkers, and trying to layer those messages over our unexamined inner universe. Well meaning advocates of this process become unwitting contributors to the repression, and oppression, of the Human Spirit. It is only after we do the real inner work, that these teachers can assume their rightful position in our consciousness, as fellow travelers on the path to Truth, which has no final destination. Our most profound words and thoughts only present the illusion of a “final resting place”, when, in fact, truth is eternally unfolding into each moment as a brand new, unique manifestation.
I have my moments with the “white holes”, and I continue to strive for experiencing this phenomenon with both increased frequency and intensity. A path of insight and meditation is quite helpful, and association with others who share in this new reality has been shown to produce almost miraculous results. If this experience is to become our real new reality, then there is work to do! Please, let us not rest on another person’s “spiritual laurels”, for by this culturally and religiously ingrained process we will be delayed in finding our True Passion.
I am what I am, but I am not what I seem
–Bruce Paullin
What might a man performing a thorough self-examination through internal probing discover about his self, and the subconscious guidance and direction by those black holes within his own unique nature?. To uncover the treasure, we first have to dig through the dirt, and believe me, it can be a toxic waste site. It is no wonder to me that there are “few there be that enter into” this unexplored realm within. There is a kingdom within that searches for its rightful king, but will we ever rise up and assume our proper place?
This process requires patience, time, experience, and humility, but eventually insight is developed whereby we, as men, can see the forces of corruption within our own heart and soul, and through the seeing, we also begin to facilitate the healing, as well. In the absolute, we are the space that we witness, either through our eyes, the telescope, or our mathematics, we are the time, or the timelessness, that we experience, and we are all of the people, and the cultures, that we are presently having relationships with. All that we will ever see, unto eternity, is our self. Insight is life, and life is insight. In truth, none of us are on the “outside looking in”.
Our very bodies in Truth are our loving Mother Earth expressing herself, through our living, breathing, evolving forms. Mother Earth yearns for her children to become conscious, so that she can continue to bring newer, higher ordered living, breathing forms of herself into existence, for her to continue to nurture, grow, and evolve All Forms Of Life into the far, far distant future.. For us, as a race, to continue to live, breathe, and evolve, we need to develop higher insight into ourselves, and our relationships with each other, and with our Mother Earth. For us to remain apart from Nature, from our Loving Mother Earth, is to remain on the “outside looking in”, and personal and planetary destruction will continue.
When we heal from our sense of separation, we are all on the “inside looking everywhere”,. Collectively, we have to take responsibility for our perceptions, and cultivate deeper levels of insight and awareness.
Insight IS life, and life IS insight.
Here is a simple truth, which is extremely complicated for many of us to understand. What we are witnessing in our “outer life experience”, including the political arena is the playing out of common human “archetypes” upon the “screen of our world’s mind”, and upon our own individual psyches. The “evil, dark king”, the “repressed, ignored queen”, the “liar”, the “thief”, the “trickster”, the “joker”, the “justifier”, the “persecutors”, the “punisher”, the “assassin”, the “executioner”, the “dark prophet”, the “betrayer”, the “savior”, and the “world destroyer”, amongst others, are aspects of each human being who lives today.
Understanding how we are internally influenced by these collective archetypes allows for us to reduce, and potentially eliminate, their hypnotic influence upon our own internal worlds, and brings a higher measure of wisdom to us as we engage with the external universe. As within, so without, is the Truth here. Bringing healing to our internal universe First, will bring a higher degree of effective action in the “external universe”, since we will be resisting the real darkness, and not also the resistance within ourselves, which is self- defeating behavior. When we first bring healing to our “internal political environment”, we become much more effective dealing with the EVIL in our external political environment, since we are no longer fighting ourselves. And, with enough “warriors of the spirit” on the front lines against this most dangerous administration in the history of our country, we will persevere.
The real work must continue, even after we overthrow the DARK KING, and expose all of his TRICKSTERS, THIEVES, BETRAYERS, and DARK PROPHETS. American politics, economics, and religion, which have oppressed women for all time, and are so far removed from the sacred, that to call them PROFANE is to treat these institutions too gently. The repressed, ignored queen, or feminine, must rise up in all of us. It is time to “take off the gloves”, call it as we see it, and act as agents for bringing healing to our corrupted nation, and world.
This political statement is my own. I have not been paid, coerced, bribed, blackmailed, threatened, or in any way have I benefited economically from sharing this message. I benefit only because I am willing to stand up, speak my truth, and be counted amongst the millions of Awakening Americans, our newest AA group.
The Awakening Voice
As the slowly shifting sands of time,
Create ever taller hills for America’s lost souls to climb.
It is in our shared, hateful world of so little reason and rhyme,
That we must seek another way to Truth, to find the One Sublime.
Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Pink Floyd)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWGE9Gi0bB0
