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- In front of parent’s home
My cousin Brian passed away at his father’s home Saturday morning after a family oriented Christmas day celebration.
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I am saddened by his death, it was an early one, for sure. My Uncle Wayne was told by a psychic three years ago that he would outlive his son Brian, and, tragically, the psychic was right on.
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As a youngster I felt protective towards Brian, as I was several years older, and I perceived that the neighborhood kids sometimes roughhoused him a little too vigorously. As an adult, the support that I might have offered to Brian was not of the nature that he desired.
His chronic health issues were a concern to the family, and to friends. Caryn stayed by his bedside three years ago while he was in intensive care, we all had a pretty bad feeling about his long term potential, yet hoped for the best.
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I knew my deceased cousin Brian longer than any other living human being, except for my Uncle Wayne, and my sister Pam. Brian was a sweet, innocent, friendly boy, and a joy to be around. As an adult, though his life was often times problematic, he still carried a good measure of his native friendliness throughout his life. His temper got the better of him, especially while drinking alcohol, and sometimes he would act impulsively.
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One of my first memories of Brian, when he was less than one year old, was of his dirty diaper, which was filled with undigested material (Ughh!). One of my last memories of Brian was at Uncle Wayne’s home earlier this year, where we all witnessed his troubled, subdued smile.
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Brian, in addition to countless other American men who also lived less than happy, sober, fulfilling lives, lived a life characterized by the limitations inculcated into us by our diseased culture, and our own individual sense of insouciance about doing anything positive about it.. Brian’s participation in our cultural Conspiracy of Silence around our inner, distressed worlds extended through his adult life, and, ultimately, led to his early death.
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Brian died from his poor health choices, and his failure to successfully digest the toxic daily servings of our culturally distorted reality, and he daily numbed himself to his own unique version of suffering. And, he did not have the conscious awareness of the degree to which he suffered, and the options for healing.. I have several other family members presently damaging and destroying themselves, too, through poor health choices and excessive alcohol consumption.
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I have written several books identifying and documenting this disease of the American Spirit, and few there be who care about this issue as I do. I have overcome the disease, while lamenting my own personal powerlessness at reaching others who might benefit from my message of transmuting depression and despair into hope and healing.
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Toxicities of this nature kills more people every year than COVID-19, heart disease, and cancer combined, for cultural toxicity is THE ONE TRUE GATEWAY to many diseases..
Our culture continues to force feed its citizens forms of toxic masculinity, toxic religion, and toxic capitalist economics that we are not able to process digest, and assimilate in a healthy , life affirming manner.
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And our national diaper continues to fill with undigested, toxic waste, while we continue to suffer and die in a pandemic of spiritual disease.
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Today, I am free from most cultural toxicities, like unconscious self-destructive attitudes and behavior. Today, Brian is also free.
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I prefer my present form of freedom to that of most others, including Brian.
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Be mindful, oh Mankind, of all of the painful secrets that we must keep,
For, by our suffering silence, we will not awaken, but just die alone, powerless, and asleep.
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I feel intense grief with the family.
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My heart breaks for all who continue to suffer.
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Brian is sorely missed.
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