But you can’t get to any of these truths by sitting in a field smiling beatifically, avoiding your anger and damage and grief. Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth. We don’t have much truth to express unless we have gone into those rooms and closets and woods and abysses that we were told not go in to. When we have gone in and looked around for a long while, just breathing and finally taking it in – then we will be able to speak in our own voice and to stay in the present moment. And that moment is home.
—-Ann Lamott
Anger is not a shortcoming to be denied, but a creative force that tells us when something is wrong.
– Austin Channing Brown
In these times when our leaders betray our trust, and when some of our fellow citizens and family members abandon all conscience and even stick out their middle finger at the truth, anger can arise. Anger can be a powerful, positive spiritual force, when expressed from a clear heart and healing consciousness. Those that fear anger, fear change, and growth. Understand anger, know thyself, and apply anger and love as liberally as is needed. Those who continue to witness the world as it currently exists, with no response other than indifference, or offering spiritually derived platitudes, have their heads buried in the hypnotizing sands of personal fantasy, and are missing an opportunity to unfold into the immensity of their power and being.
I have found that the use of anger for defensive and humanitarian purposes, and as an act of tough love is quite similar, philosophically and spiritually, as the need to use military force, and war for humanitarian purposes. However, weaponized, institutionalized, and dehumanized anger can result in unnecessary suffering and unethical wars; Christianity, Hinduism, and Buddhism, like most religions, believe that war is undesirable and avoidable. I have never been a promoter or supporter of senseless and selfish wars, yet I don’t have much use for religions, especially Christianity as it is now understood and practiced, which I do not now see as developing sufficient insight into how each of its adherents may achieve the peaceful life, thus deterring interpersonal violence or war. The corruption of their moral and ethical fabric has become so prevalent in modern society that our present political and religious mores are almost indistinguishable from each other. Just tune into Pat Robertson of the 700 club (666 club), or listen to the children of Billy Graham to get a horrifying view of the modern disease of the American pseudo-Christian Spirit. We have all been victimized and traumatized by the well-meaning, and not so well meaning, adherents of that philosophy.
All of the religions of our world still tend to guide much of the discussion about the rules for engagement with self, and the other. Religious reasoning around human emotions, such as happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger tend to be attuned to the cultures and geographic locations in which the religions are practiced the most. And, these emotions, coupled with whatever rationality and reason might still be present in the humans experiencing them, become the foundation behind all action in our world, including the search for love, family and friend connections, personal and cultural evolution, healing, crime, and war. Understanding all of these internal relationships, ie. having deep insight into self and other, is essential to establish the foundation for proper action in the world.
A great story from classical spiritual literature around human values and war comes from the Hindu tradition, and is called the Bhagavad Gita & War. In the classic Hindu text, the Bhagavad Gita & War, is documented the story of Arjuna, the fabled bowman of the Mahabharata. Lord Krishna’s view of war is revealed in the Gita. .Krishna’s obsession throughout the entire Mahabharata was to establish a society where Dharma was the guiding principle. This is a society where there is protection and happiness for all, and where people live in a balanced, spiritually orientated way, with respect for other people, creatures and all of nature…
There were two warring factions in this story, Pandavas and Duryodhana. Pandavas, consciously strove to act for the betterment of the masses rather than for their own personal gain. They were rulers who could be instrumental in bringing about such a society as Krishna wanted to create. The rulers from the Pandavas philosophy were guided by the principles underlying true statesmanship. On the other hand, Duryodhana stood for hedonism and self-aggrandizement, and is the ancient version of America’s Trump phenomenon..
There is an incident in the Mahabharata where Duryodhana complains that Krishna always favored the Pandavas. Krishna’s reply was simple – “Adopt a Dharmic way of life, and I will give you, Duryodhana, the same support and guidance I give to the Pandavas.” As such, it would have been disastrous for society if Kaurava, the legendary king of the Duryodhana, had come to hold sway over the most influential and powerful kingdom of that era. A Kaurava victory would have meant a rule of darkness over Hastinapoor, Indrapastha and beyond.
And for Arjuna, the warrior in dialogue with Lord Krishna, as a member of the “Kshatriya” or the warrior caste, fighting the battle is eminently ‘righteous’. It is a just cause and to defend it is his duty or dharma. And, he receives conscious support from Lord Krishna, who even bends the code of war to support Arjuna to defeat his foe. In this brief overview, it can be seen that Krishna’s guidance to the Pandavas reflects a universal and valid approach to certain predicaments that will always face mankind. His efforts to help the Pandavas should be understood in the sole context of the establishment of a righteous society
The philosophies behind the decision to defend ourselves, and/or our communities, from attack from others are biologically, historically, spiritually, and rationally based. Our biological natures, beginning at the cellular level with the dispatch of antibodies against foreign invaders such as bacteria and viruses, up to the threats against our lives by armed aggressors, demand that we work at self-preservation. Also, whenever there is an immanent threat against our community, our cultural and personal values and natures require that we protect ourselves from “outside threats” whenever those not from our area attempt to bring harm and/or steal resources from our community, especially after peaceful outreach and advances have been rebuffed. Just as a peace-loving community must generate a protective force against the bellicose attitudes and outside aggression of others who do not hold peace and loving communication as a cultural value, so must the individual within that community learn to entertain and balance those complex energies, in order to bring forth the most effective and life-affirming responses to threats.
So, just where does anger and love fit into this preliminary discussion? There are those who despair of the violence in society, and within themselves. They seek to go beyond this distress, yet they perceive few available options. Not knowing that the answer lies deep within themselves, they seek elsewhere, and find mentors, gurus, counselors, therapists, or methods of actually hiding from the self, such as excessive drink, drugs, sex, or the obsessive pursuit of outward accomplishments in the world. There are those who go to India to sit at the feet of the latest Master of renown, or follow the latest popular spiritual teachers, who appear to be popping up like weeds everywhere, including television and Facebook. Unless the “Teacher” or “Master” loves the great outdoors, communes with nature and its glorious creatures, hikes, camps, bicycles, and generally loves their own body, and its movement across this sacred planet Earth, they have nothing to offer to me but more spiritual “froth”. For me, the teacher must appear within our own hearts and minds, and it demands of us to be listened to.
Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.
—-Saint Augustine
writers note: Jules is not the man’s true name. His name has been changed to protect his reputation.
My life experience in the first few months of 2017, was characterized by prolific writing, conscious dreaming, enhanced creativity, joy, happiness, and a desire to share some of the amazing insights that seemed to be just popping up like wildflowers. I contacted Jules during this period of time. He was still associated with the Peace Foundation, as well as hosting a weekly Saturday gathering. I wanted to resume my friendship with him, and I was excited about the new energy that had seemingly lifted me into a new dimension of understanding. We scheduled a lunch meeting, and I shared my desire for continuing friendship and communication with him. I was much more aware of what was going on with Jules, than he was with me, so I tried to bring him up to speed a bit. We were friendly and quite engaged with each other initially. He then stated:.
.
”There is so much hatred arising within our Portland area since the election of Donald Trump. It does not matter who is the President, for our society to continue to be a loving place, the people need to reign in their emotions and follow a path towards peace and reconciliation.”
“Jules, it is unsettling to be a witness to what is being uncovered in our country right now. I had no idea of the predominance of ignorance and anti-social tendencies of many Americans. I hope that we are not witnessing the takeover of our country by a false prophet and liar.”.
“Um, Bruce, perhaps there is a different way for all of us to see what is unfolding right now. When I think of you, I think of Joel Goldsmith’s teachings. I see you as the perfect channel for the great teachings from that mystic and spiritual guide. Isn’t there a more spiritually appropriate way for you to be viewing this national process?”.
“Jules, Joel’s teaching were indeed a blessing for me in the past, but a new energy has come upon me. I have a new love offering to bring to the spiritual buffet, I think, that is much more appropriate to the times, and the situation”..
“Oh, I look forward to hearing about your experience. Have you dramatically diverged from your spiritual path, or is this just a new description for the way towards love and peace?”.
“No, I believe that a bridge to peace and healing has been provided for me to offer to those still struggling with the human condition. It is not a time for absolutist philosophies and reasoning. It is the time to acknowledge our sacred humanity, and to not judge parts of ourselves as less divine, or Godly, than other parts. This divide and conquer routine that mankind has offered to the seeker is a fragmented, unholy approach to spiritual well-being. It is reminiscent of the “mortification of the flesh” processes that even the Buddha finally renounced”.
“Bruce, I am not sure what you are trying to say. Can you give me some examples?”.
“Well, for instance, anger is one of our human emotions that is judged as unacceptable by those supposedly in the spiritual “know”. We are all beings sourced from the energy of infinity. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, but it certainly can be accessed, and modified to meet the need of the moment. Anger is a name given to an aspect of human energy. Anger naturally arises in human consciousness, just as does love, sexual desire, and a desire for community, peace and personal safety. I have seen how anger itself is not either bad or good, it is a manifestation of the divine impulse within all of mankind.”.
“Bruce, that is an ignorant, shocking statement. The Dalai Lama himself says that anger is hatred, and that it damages the mind of all who use it as part of their life’s practice”..
“I have to respectfully, but STRONGLY, disagree, with your interpretation of what the Dalai Lama has said, or even with him, if he holds strong to that idea. This is America, Jules, not Tibet, or India. None of us were born, raised or treated like we were the next Jesus Christ, or reincarnated Enlightened One of the Buddhist tradition, like the Dalai Lama. Had he been born into my family, he would probably be speaking to you today with my point of view. Had I been born into his reality, perhaps I would be the one that you are quoting from right now. You simply cannot take a teaching like the Dalai Lamas, and apply it universally like some sort of magic salve. This is America, and we are a broken culture and civilization. Anger is appropriate and necessary in these times, as long as it is not institutionalized anger like racism, misogyny, xenophobia, white supremacy, genocide, or religious persecution. Anger born of the moment is infinitely different, and pure, whereas anger born of collective or personal memory is the source of hatred, revenge, lack of forgiveness, and what you now appear to fear.”.
“Oh Bruce, I can’t believe that you are saying this. You have changed, and I don’t recognize you anymore. Please read my book again, and, here, make sure to read some of the Dalai Lamas’ teachings. You have gone astray.”.
“Jules, no, I believe that I have found a middle path. If a stranger were to come over to our table right now, and urinate on our meals, or hit us, anger would spontaneously arise. What about the young man or woman about to be raped by a predator in a dark alley? It is that very energy of self-protection and defense, that anger, that we can channel for the good of the moment, to either inform the individual of their injustice against us, or to actually defend ourselves from the threat to our safety and well-being. To just sit there and turn the other cheek is NOT the proper response. If you believe that your thoughts and prayers could transmute the situation without action of any kind, that is fantasy thinking, and thus keeps us victimized and oppressed. We must stand up for our rights!
You have not fully connected with nor understood the inner matrix of collective consciousness that underpins the entirety of the human race, where darkness, isolation, fear, and hubris reign supreme, and operates as a strong potential energy under the surface of many men’s thoughts and actions. The Common Knowledge Game that plays out in collective human consciousness is what we have to consciously deal with. The aggressor is playing out a story that has been told and retold since man first created stories, and first lifted a hand against his innocent, or guilty, brother or sister, and either felt self-justified in doing so, or was oblivious to his own intentions. Our prisons are filled with millions of human beings who all of humanity’s best thoughts and prayers could not and did not help. Right now, virtually all of the people who you associate with cultivate peaceful, loving attitudes, and that is just great. But there are many of us who still have to make contact with the rest of humanity, where such intentions are not even considered. There is a fight for survival, a fight to defend one’s tiny little plot of life, land, illusions of thought and sense of self. And there is mental illness, and an indifference to the feelings of all others who are unlike their own limited understanding of themselves. If we do not rise up and let the indifferent know not only that we exist, but we have feelings, and that we will defend our right to continue to have feelings, and existence, then those who ignorantly attempt to repress and dominate us will continue their abhorrent behavior..
Like a virus, those who oppress will be drawn to others who also have a desire to oppress, and the infection spreads through the collective mob mind. It is the feedback that we give back to them that eventually becomes part of the new knowledge for them, that others have feelings, and need to be respected, if they want to maintain some of their own freedoms. If we sit back and pray, as if the offenders already have the sensitivity to pick up on those finer vibrations, and that all they need to be reminded of is the underlying goodness of all is a self-defeating delusion, as our good intentions and prayers have little power for those people. The prayer that has the greatest power is the vocal one uttered through
THE SPOKEN WORD
We must be loud, if necessary, to remind the offender that another human being is present, has rights, and will protect itself and reflect back to the offender his own offensive energy, until the offender finds a way to present a more favorable side of himself to the rest of the world. We are part of the feedback loop for the rest of the world. We neglect our responsibilities as teachers and healers if we do not confront evil wherever evil arises. To not confront evil, or to mask it over with another name, and make it OK, as long as its influence does not directly impact us in this moment, is a dereliction of spiritual duty, and is one of the responsible parties for the continued proliferation of darkness and evil upon our planet…
Your vessel is shining on the outside, yet on the inside there appears to be an incompleteness of understanding, and of spirit. You attempt to suppress and repress part of your own humanity, and thus, the humanity of others. You are a well-meaning, but unconscious part of the conspiracy of silence, where men are made wrong for speaking or acting from their strongest emotions, through which our true spirit may reign supreme.”.
“Bruce, where you are wrong is simple. Through meditation, peace and reconciliation, we can create all of the relationships that either prevents the anger and hatred from arising that you believe that you may have to defend yourself against, or gives you a more creative, loving way to deal with the assaults.”.
“Jules, how is that working for you, and for our world, so far?
History shows the cyclical nature of human civilizations, with the rise and falls of collective order, culture and spirituality, mutual trust, intelligence, creativity and the arts, and infrastructural stability. Our own personal history parallels the same cyclical principle, except in a more compressed time frame. To be aware is to note that as far as we can see, we can only see ourselves, and our own projections of what we think that we see, or might be. Note that to not see what is happening in the real world is remain in a dream world, the world of illusion, no matter how much you want to make peace and love the picture of the world..
ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL..
Do you think that just because you are giving love to the offender, that his behavior is going to spontaneously change? You noted at the start of our lunch the predominance of anger and hatred arising in Portland right now. I am not seeing all of our prayers and meditations working right now, nor have they for thousands of years. All of the Dalai Lamas prayers and meditations for Tibet were useless. He left his country, and did not defend himself. He left the country in fear for his own life, and his country was to be overrun by the Chinese, to be defended only by those who could not escape with him. Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, the 11th Panchen Lama, was left behind, and spent many years philosophically fighting the Chinese incursion, and languished in jail as a result of his best efforts. He stood up, and made his voice heard, in the only place and way a man of true spiritual integrity could. The Dalai Lama’s peaceful attitudes did not change one Chinese invader’s mind. I don’t see any of our thoughts and prayers reaching this reality TV star parading as our President, either. Three hundred and fifty million jabs back at his pudgy belly will help, though.”.
“Violence begets more violence, period. I think that our lunch time has come to an end. Please reconsider your position, Bruce. You have so much to give to the world, yet giving anger to the world is no gift, it is a curse. I can help, perhaps come to more meetings at our church, where we can give you the support of our spirit of peace”..
“Thanks, Jules. I know that you say this with love. And I say this to you, this is also love, if only you had the ears to hear. Right anger leads to right action, as well. Protecting oneself against the violent assaults from others is an act of love, as well. Loving oneself through defending oneself, while giving an offensive human being necessary feedback from which to learn is an act of love, too. Would you watch your own child torture and torment a neighbor’s pet, and have no emotional reaction to it, and not confront him and teach him another way to behave? Love and righteous anger as a response to aggressive and offensive philosophies can live together in harmony, and they must, if America is to survive. Jules, I don’t have a church, a book for you to read, nor can I provide a forum for you to understand what I am talking about. Just know that my own “still small voice” is thundering from the silence in the center of my being, affirming the truth as I speak it, and live it. I am not a lamb before another person’s sincere, but wayward teachings, I am led from within, and I will go where the teachings lead me..
Blessings to you on your journey, Jules. I love you.”.
And I left the lunch, and we have not spoken since, except for through Facebook, where he has since “unfriended” me after I called him on posting a message from the gun toting white supremacist, anti-Jew Ted Nugent..
In the timeless words of Bob Marley, come the words of a real spiritual warrior:
Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights:
And in the words of another great spiritual warrior:.
“I come not to bring peace, but a sword!”
—-Jesus of Nazareth..
Punch A Nazi Sign at June 2018 Portland, Oregon Rally for Immigrants and their families
as he, too, tried to break down the patterns of social, economic, and religious injustice of the day.
The Far Side Wait, Wait, We don’t have to be just sheep
.A lifetime of oppression, of not being heard, having cries of pain and suffering ignored because of some sort of prevailing philosophy, thus ignoring major energy centers of who I AM, creates energy field corruption and damage. How can a young woman, or man, not respond with anger and fear while being sexually abused by yet another Toxic Man, and his own distorted theories of how life should be? Extrapolate that to our entire country, where millions of our fellow Americans, or, more accurately, our fellow human beings, be they African-American, Hispanic, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, or whatever label we want to foist on another child of God, continue to be persecuted and oppressed by the dark philosophies spawned by other Patriarchal ideologues..
For me, I layered myself with all manners of philosophies that suggested that I should ignore my personal human emotions, and all of the so-called dark energies that plague us, through the labeling, judging, and condemnation of all of these energies. Maya, or illusions, or cultural hypnosis, are terms coined by the “aware” that help us to understand that what appears to be in the “real world” may not actually be there, and to be aware of the potential of our minds to project out of our own unenlightened ignorance our misunderstanding of life, and our actual relationship to it. Ignorance and darkness, and their love child, evil itself, do exist, and is not an illusion. Rwanda, Syria, and any number of modern-day countries have witnessed the ravages of evil, and those residents who stayed seated in meditation and prayer are now dead, while those who are still alive escaped or had to defend themselves..
The key is to place these so-called dark energies in the service of understanding and love. Enlightened anger IS wisdom, and if we deny our anger about the oppression we have experienced, or that which is persecuting the innocents of the world, our access to vast sacred energy centers will continue to be blocked away from us, by those who inadvertently become part of the control mechanism that we are attempting to become liberated from..
Somebody has to act as a bridge between highbrow spiritual theories and/or realizations, and the damaged, hurt, misunderstood, persecuted, abused, sick and ill, and I AM THAT, along with countless millions of awakening abused people around the world. One size does NOT fit all, when it comes to how to spiritually respond to challenging situations. If we are sitting in an ivory tower or lofty spiritual “reality” then we will have one style of engagement with the world. If we are still in relationship with all of humanity, we have to be ready for anything, and we will have to be ready to engage ALL of our resources to meet the safe and sane requirements for each unique relationship . This is how my awakening world now spins, around the reunification of all rejected energies of our Holy Spirit (the spirit of wholeness that still resides within all of us, even in the “least of these” people, who may still reside in their own personal hell)..
There are those purporting to be “spiritual teachers” and advisors, who are admonishing their followers to abhor using human emotions with their dealings with the public. Specifically, I am frequently hearing that a “requirement for maintaining spiritual integrity” is to NOT EXPRESS ANGER, in any form, and instead to substitute “loving thoughts” and “forgiving actions”..
Really?.
First things first!.
Anger is a natural, normal response, in any particular new moment, to any assault on our being, on those that we love, or on our inner sensibilities. Anger, among all other emotions, and in balance with those aspects of our self, help us to manage our response to the outer world, which is, at times, quite the aggressive, distressed, ugly, oppressive environment. Anger is not positive or negative energy, it is HUMAN ENERGY ITSELF, and like all aspects of our humanity, it needs to be understood in the context from which it arises, and when and how it expresses itself..
Anger can bring fear to the unaware among us, because of an incomplete or unhealed response to its expression in their past. We have all been persecuted, at one time or another (or many times), by the angry parent, boss, co-worker, or stranger driving next to us in a car. Or, how about the rapist, or child molester, who tries to attack us, or our children?. According to classic psychology, humans engage in “fight or flight” behavior, when they experience fear and/or perceive that they are being attacked. Whether we choose one or the other depends on any number of circumstances, and ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. When we are backed into a corner, and there is no way out, where is our energy to come from, when the attacker makes his final lunge at us?.
We all feel a need to “be in control”, and to conform to social norms, especially those “norms” expressed in the common knowledge game that dominates the unaware human consciousness. Philosophies and theologies that stress the need to repress aspects of our human nature need to be examined in their fullness, and not accepted at face value. By their very nature, any umbrella philosophy and theology devalues the “intelligence of the moment”, and intentionally and/or unwittingly contribute to the suppression, and repression, of sacred human values and emotions. This unrepressed and unoppressed human energy, when balanced, keeps us as complete beings, capable of accessing and expressing the wholeness of our being, with emotionally intelligent actions appropriate to the activity of the moment..
There is a Wisdom deep inside us all, waiting to inform all of our thoughts and actions in this world. And, this world requires Ultimate intelligence to navigate through it successfully, without bringing harm to ourselves and others needlessly. Anger and fear are not to be repressed by any healthy human being, but instead are to be witnessed, and studied, and utilized intelligently for wise action in this troubled world..
Stand up, stand up, stand up for your rights!.
But, make sure that the anger is appropriate to the moment, and not some formulaic response that the “non-healed, unbalanced” nature within your own self offers up under many questionable circumstances. An “institutionalized expression of anger” becomes hatred in disguise, and that characterizes the oppressive nature of far too many male originated, and dominated, philosophies. When anger becomes an automatic response to all situations where threat is perceived, then the intelligence of the moment is denied, and we are susceptible to bringing needless harm to our bodies, and to our minds, as well as to the “other”..
When I was a eight-year old boy, while on a camping trip with family and friends, my sister and I complained to my parents about the father of the other family,, who had severely overreacted to us, and we accused him of being excessively angry and threatening to us. When my father confronted Bob about his rage, Bob got angry again, denied that he threatened us, and then commanded me to “get my story straight”, before complaining about his behavior in the future. Several years later, while in a fit of rage with his wife, he intentionally crashed his car head-on into another car at a high rate of speed, killing himself and crippling his wife for life.
The act of “getting our story straight”, and calling out ourselves or someone for being disrespectful or engaging in hurtful behavior will not necessarily guarantee any immediate positive outcomes, but it disrupts the conspiracy of silence, if only for a moment. In the seeing, or the development of insight into self, change is facilitated. Everybody needs to become more conscious of the self, and fine tune how we respond to our emotions, but the point is to accept personal responsibility for our emotions, see how they impact ourselves and others, and make necessary adjustments in course if we have behaved inappropriately. Repression and oppression helps nobody in the long run, though they maintain an order of false peace and control for the status quo.
To respond successfully in anger, we need to measure how mindfully we can engage these threats, and successfully group our own thoughts and actions, with others also engaged in the situation, to either fight the oppressors, or to speak our truth, and be heard. We do not engage in mass protests because we want to go for a walk with a bunch of strangers, we engage in protests because we want our voices heard. Channeled anger is an effective, time-tested method for standing up to those who would keep us silent in the face of their own misdeeds.
One only needs to review history to see how well the silent sheep held back the Nazi oppressors. If you want to conform to the “spiritual philosophies” of those who did grow up in our country, and did not share in our American Experience, good luck to you. I choose to wisely tend to my own “flock” of thoughts and feelings, and not to become just another follower in someone’s “herd”. I am now a shepherd of my own thoughts and feelings, and not just someone’s lamb..
Anecdotally, we hear of those rare few who have successfully mitigated dark, evil circumstances, through some fortunate “intervention” through prayer, or luck, where those who are attacking us somehow are diverted, and move their aggression elsewhere. Stories of Gandhi’s non-violent protest against British occupancy of India’s lands gets a lot of play in so-called “spiritually aware circles”. Remember, though, the many years of British occupation prior to that stand, and Britain’s diminishing will to keep their empire extended throughout the world. We only need watch the news, or read the paper, to see that these anecdotal stories do not embrace the reality underlying most of the final acts, and resulting actions, of the aggressive ones. Murder, rape, child molesting, intimidation, oppression, misogyny, road rage, terrorism, paternal violence in ALL OF ITS FORMS, keeps manifesting itself, and has throughout all of history. Those who are inspired to make peaceful approaches to these problems must continue, yet, so do those who aggressively confront the forces of oppression and darkness.
WE NEED BOTH ENERGIES FOR CHANGE
By the way, have you ever noticed how so many of the so-called spiritual savants, or gurus from foreign lands, do not have families? What is the real teaching here, do you think? It is so much easier to talk love and light for all beings, especially when one does not have to deal directly with the most challenging of human relationships. From the middle of 1987 to early 1988, I spent over 6 hours a day in meditation and prayer, and I had very few problems with my relationships with people. I lived in perfect peace and harmony within myself. Also, I had no children, or nobody to call me on my isolation and (potential) loneliness. All in all, it was beautiful for me, yet totally disengaged from the challenges of integration into society, and family and friendship development. I value my time in the “real world”, where the beauty, and the pain, of human existence is my greatest teacher. Mysticism has a place in our world, yet I struggle to find how to best stay in alignment with its ecstasy, and enlightenment, while maintaining a “normal human experience”. Perhaps I will drink again from its deep waters, when I have finally wearied of this world..
If our minds are fed anything other than facts, ESPECIALLY WITHIN ESTABLISHED COMMUNITIES OF HUMAN BEINGS, we are involved in a process known as maya, or illusion creating, and our world(s) tend to end up in chaos. The result is individual, and cultural, hypnosis and schizophrenia, where we can end up losing personal power, and we can be too easily bullied by the wayward opinions and false insights of others. Too often those who claim to have real knowledge are as lost as everybody else, even though they may be claiming righteousness, religious or otherwise. When we try to fit into a situation or setting where our heart tells us we don’t belong, honor those feelings, and investigate where they are coming from. If we feel that we are already “swimming in the divine ocean”, then we can watch, and wait, and see who is swimming with us, and join with them as indicated (or reach out and help lift another up, as they request help). While in the marketplace of human thought and reason,
LET THE BUYER BEWARE!.
It has taken me many years to speak my truth to our cultural, political, and theological power and knowledge brokers. My enhanced attention to my inner needs and the greater good of all finally took precedence over my own feelings of inadequacy in confronting this collective American life experience about it’s alienating, crazy making communications and relationships, and its collective consciousness, and collective unconsciousness. Our cultural spiritual dementia needed to be challenged, lest we all lapse into deeper degrees of anxiousness, powerlessness, and unreality. Confronting a difficult reality takes more energy than most of us care to bring to the table, yet, not doing so diminishes our own standing in Truth, Life, and Love..
I had very poor training since birth in how to successfully navigate group energy, up to, and including, the whole of society that we all participate in. As a boy, when family discussions turned into arguments, many times I found myself either raising my voice against the angry voice of my father, or retreating into submission and fear at the threat of being attacked for being contrary to the flow. And, I internalized that I was probably wrong anyway, and would be punished if I stepped out and asserted myself too much. I learned that I could undertake less obvious means of rebelling against authority, sometimes through indirect, or obvious, self, or other, destructive behavior..
Passive/aggressive tendencies have haunted me most of my entire life, and becoming “self-aware” has gone a long way to keep me from employing those unskilled coping mechanisms unconsciously, though I am still occasionally haunted by their presence. Having undertaken the inner work of insight, and maintaining mindfulness, and identified those sources of suffering within myself, does not instantaneously remove all of the darkness within. But is also does not remove from me the responsibility to call out those who are the external agents of oppression and repression, no matter how much I might love them or want to protect them, or even to protect myself from the ramifications of asserting what is right, true, or proper in any situation..
Alcoholism, depression, mental illness, murder, suicide, participating in the continued destruction of our sacred Mother Earth, and other manifestations of dis-empowered male energy can be the results of loss of integrity, and stifling ones feelings and voice. And, this is NOT yet another spiritual theory, this is the ACTUALITY of American male life, and of my life. Sitting in meditation, and or quoting other “spiritually enlightened individuals” may have brought me a temporary measure of peace, but this whole process became yet another “opiate”, and it never brought the change required by my spirit for its own emergence into its own unique wholeness. Thoughts and prayers are great preparation for action, but, without action, thoughts and prayers are only mental masturbation..
Ignorance, and its most deadly spawn Evil continues to exist, in spite of Love’s presence, and I will not allow the “wise ones” and their dismissive theories on evil to discourage me from confronting that force, both within myself and within my American culture. It takes a force of will, or an energy FAR transcending those that the absolutist philosophies of unconditional love promote, to address this darkness. Jesus facing the devil in the desert has no value to me, if I do not also face my own “devil”, and our collective “devils”. If I lived in a spiritual “ivory tower”, where I never witness man’s inhumanity to man, then these philosophies might serve my needs. Why would any sane man create more Fake News, deny what they see, and gloss it over with Universal Love, whatever that means? I no longer need permission from “higher powers” to deal with all of our difficult emotions directly and honestly..
It is fascinating to watch what happens in group processes, where the “active issues of the moment” are finally met by the active participants within a closed group. M. Scott Peck had a great understanding of the stages of spiritual growth, as well as how communities respond to challenges within themselves. He coined a term “the dark prophet” for those who take an antagonistic position in regards to a prevailing attitude, concept, or accepted norm established by the community. When those other members within the community are confronted by the perceived “attack”, they immediately go into a defensive posture, and begin the process of self, and other, protection, and scapegoat or marginalize the “dark prophet” who has spoken out against the accepted norms. Unfortunately, in our spiritual and emotional therapy groups, or in the political process itself, the person who speaks out against the so-called prevailing norms is over-analyzed by, or redirected by, those who cannot or will not share in the observation, or insight offered. Eventually, truth will dawn on the rest of the community, but not before an innocent is punished for offering up a contrary truth..
It is not a fun position to be in, to be the “dark prophet”. It is the position of greatest spiritual growth, and evolution, and only for those who have made a decision to separate from the “common knowledge game” of human (mis)understanding. My old tendencies would be to try to hide under the nearest table (figuratively, and literally) to avoid confrontation. Or, I would rather defend the person who is being challenged, rather than consider both or several points of view simultaneously, and doing the real work of healing of conflicting and diverging energies, and the resultant synthesizing of a new group outlook. But, we are dying, and our world is dying, and it is time to speak out about the underlying issues with our culture, and the male consciousness that supports it. The destruction of our planet, and the monetization and dehumanization of our people, especially including the feminine aspect of all humanity, where our feeling nature and divinity lives, will continue unabated until a critical mass of awakening humanity rises up and asserts itself in the face of these assaults against life and human decency..
Without the integration of the divine feminine with our unhealed male consciousness, any hope for a bright future cannot be maintained. I cannot and I will not be led unconsciously to my own spiritual slaughter, and to the slaughter of my Values, Morality, and Ethics that World Patriarchy continues to threaten us all with on a daily basis. The Demon must be recognized, and challenged by all, or prepare for the darkened ending to all that is important to us as an American culture, and as a world civilization..
But, we must strive to keep an equilibrium, between our need to confront the forces of oppression, repression, darkness, and mutual imprisonment, and our need to listen carefully to the needs of those promoting values antithetical to the very spiritual values that we are affirming and practicing in our own lives. A continuing part of our education, and evolution, is dependent upon our willingness not to reject the human being still covered in a darkened shroud, but instead to reject the ideas that the ignorant person is still clinging to. Therein lies the great challenge in communication with spiritual integrity, separating the person from the offending agenda or philosophy..
Those stuck deepest in their own illusions are those most prone to stubbornness in holding onto the ways perceived as threatening to ourselves. The ideas that “God said it, I believe it, and that is all that there is to it!”, and “My country, and its leaders, RIGHT OR WRONG!”, are sure to stimulate a positive response within those who have been raised to, or like to follow authoritarian principles, but for all awakening souls, there may not be a supportive or friendly response. It is best to first pause, before reacting to any offending statement, and wait for a response from the deeper reaches of our heart. Keeping the doors open to dialogue and mutual respect are of primary importance, and not attempting to convert another to our own beliefs, no matter how “wrong” they appear to be, and how “right” we might feel in our minds and hearts..
In our attempt to be “heard”, we instead try to program people, unconsciously, to behave and react more in accordance with our expectations. When they don’t (they rarely do, unless they are our impressionable young children), we are very disappointed, and feel rejected, and, in the absolute, we feel betrayed by the sum total of exchanges between the parties..
We just can’t quiet our minds long enough to listen with our hearts to what is being said, and respond accordingly with our heart. We are much too eager to respond with ego programmed responses, which, typically, are based on incomplete perceptions or someone else’s ‘knowledge’, and it remains our attempt to control each others’ experience through linking our own unhealed energy with their own..
We, as the human race, keep layering ourselves and our ideas upon what somebody else is saying, rather than meeting the being where they are, and responding according to the dictates of our “heart center”, which in most people, ESPECIALLY MEN, has been scabbed over by our own early emotional and spiritual wounds. Men typically inflict their own wounded natures on everybody else, in subtle, or not so subtle ways. Usually, this manifests in dominating, or being dominated, by others. Philosophies of oppression, and of the monetization of reality, arise out of this wounding. Women are usually victimized as well as all people with sensitive natures..
When our personalities have been formed by the layering of our egos upon the “unnamed, unrecognized dark energy”, we end up with an energy exchange dynamic where we “project” our dysfunction onto others, and make them wrong for it, not recognizing that we were the source of our misplaced judgement..
There is a new possibility for bringing change to our world, including all of those people who blindly follow the paths of their past, and their collective and individual dysfunction. It takes much patience and perseverance, and in our new world order of instantaneous image and information exchange through our social media platforms, it can be frustrating to remain engaged with the so-called “other side of the argument” people. What I have noted from my own relationships with those that I love, and who are not yet in that more perfect place that I aspire to be with them in, if I keep an image of how things can change and heal between two or more parties, many times that energy eventually helps to inform all parties, and we all tend to change together, for the greater good of all..
I do not want a life that has been lived in vain. I see a world where the majority of us still suffer from the same, basic issues that I have tried to describe here. Even among some people closest to me, denial reigns supreme, and though I have only a small measure of hope that the “personal truth” that I am trying to convey here will actually be heard, and applied by others that I care about (which now includes the entirety of our planet Earth), I have enough hope to spend many hundreds of hours writing this material down..“There is something fundamental here.”.
As a baby, my parents placed a blanket around my baby body, and deposited me in a car in their garage so that my father could get at least 5 hours of sleep a night. My father was “chasing the American Dream”, and worked two jobs at the time..
I don’t need to remind any of my loved ones of the profoundly damaging effects of denying love and interactive time to a developing human being. What I might need to remind myself at times is that others, no matter what their age, or how much that I think that I know them, deserve my undivided attention, as they attempt to reveal who they are in this moment..It is funny, sometimes when I share some of my creative work, I still get the very strong impression that some “important” people in my life just don’t have the time to listen..
Another clue about our own, or the others’ listening intention, is when we try to share a “profound life event”, and are immediately “run over” by another with more knowledge of the subject. Sometimes we, or the other, either have “too much book knowledge”, we have the “certificate”, we already have read about it on the internet, we have memorized something from a class that we already took, or we have a friend who has already “been there, done that!”.
Trust me on this one. If I do not want to grow anymore, I will stop listening to what others are really trying to say. If i don’t want to be of service to my fellow-man/woman, I can just stop listening to what they are trying to express, and just “layer my own ignorance” and judgement, over somebody else, and not let them reveal to me who they Really Are in this special moment. Our President, and many of our politicians, are masters at this. Please don’t inflict this same treatment on the ones you love. It is like putting a blanket around our heart and soul, and putting us into the car, so that those with a dehumanizing or monetizing philosophy can continue to oppress others, while keeping themselves spiritually asleep..
We all deserve to be listened to. I don’t need to remind any of my loved ones of the potential of the damaging impacts to our relationships with others, by merely not taking the time to listen with our hearts, to the other’s deepest meaning. Most of my closest connections already practice this, and do not intentionally ignore the needs of others..
We are all developing human beings, no matter what our age. And, we are all God’s children, and God speaks through us, whether we can hear the “truth”, or not. Sometimes the “truth” is so difficult to hear, that we shut down emotionally, and we either ignore what is said, or substitute our own story for what the “other” is trying to communicate. And, the most difficult of emotions, such as anger, we all must become more proficient in expressing, as well as developing the capacity to listen to it being expressed by others..
And, perhaps the most important point of all, is that we must be willing to listen to ourselves. Our anger is NOT bad. We do not need to feel shame for feeling anger. We do not have to feel guilt for feeling anger. We do not have to oppress ourselves, and repress our sacred selves, in order to fit into the small box of another person’s limited understanding of how we should be. We do not need to smoke pot to hide from our feelings of anger. We do not need to shoot heroin in our desire to wait for another day and time when our anger is not overpowering us. We do not need to drink ourselves to death to escape our most difficult of emotions..
We do need to begin the difficult journey of understanding ourselves, forgiving ourselves and others, and becoming mindful of the triggers that take us away from our peace of mind. And we must remember that anger is a very effective tool that has the potential to move mountains, and change behaviors. Those who have learned how to channel their anger effectively have risen up to become some of the world’s greatest leaders, and forces for positive change. Those who have failed in that mission continue to create all manners of darkness and ignorance.
From The Experts: A Skillful Relationship With Anger Can Be Healthy For All Of Us
Most of us are taught from a very early age that anger is a ‘bad’ emotion. Where are told to manage it, to keep it in check. And so, most of us learn to ignore it—to shove our angry feelings deep, deep down where they won’t upset anyone. But censoring our anger isn’t healthy. In fact, finding a way to improve our relationship with anger can be tremendously beneficial.
First off, it is important to remember that there are no ‘bad’ emotions. Each of our feelings is a valid form of experience. They are all completely human, and none of them are innately ‘bad’. It’s how we handle and express those feelings that truly matters.
With anger, many of us tend to lose our cool—scream, stomp, punch, fume. That’s destructive anger. But if we redefine our relationship to anger, expressing it can actually be an incredibly positive experience—meaning our anger can actually be productive.
When Anger Can Be Useful
Here are three powerful ways that anger can be supportive and healthy.
Acknowledging and expressing anger is an agent for growth..
Think of anger as a force for positive change in our life. It can provide insights to our deepest values… as well as our deepest faults. By becoming aware of these parts of our self and expressing them in a healthy way, we can actually grow and evolve as a person.
There may be a lot of discomfort in experiencing and acknowledging anger—but we’ll come out the other side a wiser, better version of our self.
It is a real motivator
Without anger, you might not ever take action to address the things that truly upset you. Anger is a very clear sign that you are not happy with something in life, and it can provide the fire you need to roll your sleeves up and do something about it.
Being mad can be good for society; it motivates us to work toward positive change. It was a major force behind the American Revolution, the women’s suffragette movement, the abolition of slavery and the labor movement.
It elevates what is important to us in our minds
Every time we feel a little twinge of anger, it’s like a gentle reminder to prioritize what we value most. Maybe we’ve been letting people walk all over us at work or in a family setting. Maybe we feel like your partner isn’t pulling their weight around the house. That feeling of anger could simply mean we desire respect and appreciation.
Anger is never truly about the small things that light our fuses. It speaks to a greater truth about what we value in life. By taking anger as an opportunity to step back and audit our lives, we can ensure that we continue to live true to our most deeply held beliefs.
Anger definitely has its upsides. The important thing is to check in with and release our anger in a healthy manner on a regular basis.
Shoving our feelings away to fester can lead to a build up of anger, which leads to prolonged irritability, road rage, and other explosive behaviors. Consulting a professional is appropriate if we have a history of struggling with our anger.
When we confront our anger early on, perhaps through a calm discussion or some journalling, it can be the kick start that we need to grow and freely express our self. Yes, it can be an uncomfortable emotion to come to terms with, but getting a little angry can be an incredibly useful thing.
At the centre of it all is the notion our feelings are adaptive: anger is not divine cruelty or sheer random bad luck – it evolved to serve useful functions and help us thrive.
From Newton’s obsessive grudges to Beethoven’s tantrums – which sometimes came to blows – it seems as though visionary geniuses often come with extremely short tempers. There are plenty of examples to be found in Silicon Valley. Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is famed for his angry outbursts and insults (such as “I’m sorry, did I take my stupid pills today?”) yet they haven’t stopped him building a $300 billion company.
For years, the link remained a mystery. Then in 2009 Matthijs Baas from the University of Amsterdam decided to investigate. He recruited a group of willing students and set to work making them angry in the name of science. Half the students were asked to recall something which had irritated them and write a short essay about it. “This made them a bit angrier, though they weren’t quite driven to full-blown fits of rage,” he says. The other half of the group were made to feel sad.
Next the two teams were pitched against each other in a game designed to test their creativity. They had 16 minutes to think of as many ways as possible to improve education at the psychology department. As Baas expected, the angry team produced more ideas – at least to begin with. Their contributions were also more original, repeated by less than 1 percent of the study’s participants.
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has a large repertoire of signature insults, such as “if I hear that idea again, I’m gonna have to kill myself.” Credit: Getty Images.
Crucially, angry volunteers were better at moments of haphazard innovation, or so-called “unstructured” thinking. Let’s say you’re challenged to think about possible uses for a brick. While a systematic thinker might suggest ten different kinds of building, it takes a less structured approach to invent a new use altogether, such as turning it into a weapon.
In essence, creativity is down to how easily your mind is diverted from one thought path and onto another. In a situation requiring fight or flight, it’s easy to see how turning into a literal “mad genius” could be life-saving.
“Anger really prepares the body to mobilise resources – it tells you that the situation you’re in is bad and gives you an energetic boost to get you out of it,” says Baas.
To understand how this works, first we need to get to grips with what’s going on in the brain. Like most emotions, anger begins in the amygdala, an almond-shaped structure responsible for detecting threats to our well-being. It’s extremely efficient – raising the alarm long before the peril enters your conscious awareness.
Then it’s up to chemical signals in the brain to get you riled up. As the brain is flooded with adrenaline it initiates a burst of impassioned, energetic fury which lasts for several minutes. Breathing and heart rate accelerate and blood pressure skyrockets. Blood rushes into the extremities, leading to the distinctive red face and throbbing forehead veins people get when they’re annoyed.
Though it’s thought to have evolved primarily to prepare the body for physical aggression, this physiological response is known to have other benefits, boosting motivation and giving people the gall to take mental risks.
Beethoven was easily frustrated and would throw objects at his servants. Credit: Shizhao/Wikimedia Commons.
All these physiological changes are extremely helpful – as long as you get a chance to vent your anger by wrestling a lion or screaming at co-workers. Sure, you might alienate a few people, but afterwards your blood pressure should go back to normal. Avoiding grumpiness has more serious consequences.
The notion that repressed feelings can be bad for your health is ancient. The Greek philosopher Aristotle was a firm believer in catharsis (he invented the modern meaning of the word); viewing tragic plays, he conjectured, allowed punters to experience anger, sadness and guilt in a controlled environment. By getting it all out in the open, they could purge themselves of these feelings all in one go.
His philosophy was later adopted by Sigmund Freud, who instead championed the cathartic benefits of the therapist’s couch.
Then in 2010 a team of scientists decided to take a look. They surveyed a group of 644 patients with coronary artery disease to determine their levels of anger, suppressed anger and tendency to experience distress, and followed them for between five and ten years to see what happened next.
Over the course of the study, 20 percent experienced a major cardiac event and 9 percent percent died. Initially it looked like both anger and suppressed anger increased the likelihood of having a heart attack. But after controlling for other factors, the researchers realised anger had no impact – while suppressing it increased the chances of having a heart attack by nearly three-fold.
It’s still not known exactly why this occurs, but other studies have shown that suppressing anger can lead to chronic high blood pressure.
And not all benefits are physical: anger can help with negotiating, too. A major flashpoint for aggression is the discovery that someone does not value your interests highly enough. It involves inflicting costs – the threat of physical violence – and withdrawing benefits – loyalty, friendship, or money – to help them see their mistake.
Support for this theory comes from the faces we pull when angry. Research suggests they aren’t arbitrary movements at all, but specifically aimed at increasing our physical strength in the eyes of our opponent. Get it right and aggression can help you advance your interests and increase your status – it’s just an ancient way of bargaining.
In fact, scientists are increasingly recognising that grumpiness may be beneficial to the full range of social skills – improving language skills, memory and making us more persuasive.
Now known for donating over $28bn to charity, Bill Gates was once famously easy to anger. In fact, anger and altruism may be closely linked. Credit: Getty Images.
Be mindful oh mankind the painful and angry secrets that we keep,
For by our honest sharing we may awaken, or by our silence die alone and asleep.——Bruce Paullin
