Our Aunt Susie, my father’s younger sister (now age 91) went to the zoo with us today.
She had a great time!
Sharon bought a wheelchair for her two weeks ago that made this journey a breeze.We are about the only family that she has now, with a daughter, Cindy Enos, who has neglected her for years, claiming that an aunt (my dad’s brother- Uncle Ed’s wife), and, now, a deceased husband, supposedly giving Cindy permission to continue to ignore her own mother (WTF?).
Her relatives have little time, and plenty of excuses, some quite suspect, not to make connection. Tom, as an exception, has been present several times when we requested his help, though. All very sad to contemplate, however.
Sharon has adopted her, and made sure that she has been loved and adequately cared for since the death of Susie’s other daughter, Sharyn, in 2017. Without Sharon, she would have been in a nursing home, or worse, years ago. And Sharon has been carrying ALL OF THE STRESS OF CARE.
When our day comes, we will “take care of business” before ever relying on children, or relatives, for our care. After what we have gone through with care for my grandparents, our parents, Susie, and some of our friends as they approached death, I see what a shortage of time, understanding, compassion, and love, that there can be in this world.
I also see that some of our friends stand tall, VERY TALL, FAR ABOVE AND BEYOND some of those who claim to be family members.
I am not depressed or distressed, I am awake. And I don’t mind sticking my thumb into a bleeding wound.
And, the chips will fall where they must.
I stopped getting Christmas cards from my father’s “family” after my beloved Uncle Ed’s death years ago. I am sure that this post will not stimulate future mailings.
It is emotionally complicated to grieve the loss of the love that was never shared. We can only grieve the loss of human, and family, potential.
I grieve for those who do not have “the time to grieve, to be present for others in difficult situations, or to love”.
And I grieve that I have to post this most important message to my blog, or to Facebook, where those who need to read and, with love acknowledge it, will not do so.
