Alberto Villoldo Workshop at 1440 Multiversity 2018 – Recovery And Spirituality

On Friday night of the workshop, Alberto asked for us to ask for a dream. Well, I had a dream, and its essence was relevant. In it, Alberto was a non-vocal observer, watching groups of people assembling a large foundation for some sort of huge, new building. Sharon and I struggled a bit with our contribution, but it all was coming together at the end of the dream, and I could see that we were about to get our part assembled successfully. We then came together as a full assembly of participants, where a male voice gave an extended monologue about the nature of the “magnetic self”. In the dream, I countered his monologue with an extended message of my own, articulately and with precision. But then, I looked to Sharon in the dream, and asked her “Sharon, do I sound like an idiot?” I then woke up.

Yes, there I go again. Even in the dream, I doubt myself, my ability to communicate, and my “understanding”. It is my life’s challenge to make peace with that wayward voice within me that brings self-doubt, and keeps me silent, and not wanting to extend myself to others who might misinterpret me and my intentions. Thanks, father, for that! The gift that keeps on giving to me, until I transform myself enough and stop accepting it!.

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Categories: Dreams

Bruce

Presently, I am 67 years old, and I am learning how to live the life of a retired person. I am married to Sharon White, a retired hospice nurse, and writer. Whose Death Is It Anyway-A Hospice Nurse Remembers Sharon is a wonderful friend and life partner of nearly 30 years. We have three grandsons through two of Sharon's children. I am not a published writer or poet. My writings are part of my new life in retirement. I have recently created a blog, and I began filling it up with my writings on matters of recovery and spirituality. I saw that my blog contained enough material for a book, so that is now my new intention, to publish a book, if only so that my grandsons can get to know who their grandfather really was, once I am gone. The title for my first book will be: Penetrating The Conspiracy Of Silence, or, How I Lived Beyond My Expiration Date I have since written 7 more books, all of which are now posted on this site. I have no plans to publish any of them, as their material is not of general interest, and would not generate enough income to justify costs. I have taken a deep look at life, and written extensively about it from a unique and rarely communicated perspective. Some of my writing is from 2016 on to the present moment. Other writing covers the time prior to 1987 when I was a boy, then an addict and alcoholic, with my subsequent recovery experience, and search for "Truth". Others are about my more recent experiences around the subjects of death, dying, and transformation, and friends and family having the most challenging of life's experiences. There are also writings derived from my personal involvement with and insight into toxic masculinity, toxic religion, toxic capitalism, and all of their intersections with our leadere. These topics will not be a draw for all people, as such personal and/or cultural toxicities tends to get ignored, overlooked, or "normalized" by those with little time for insight, introspection, or interest in other people's points of view on these troubling issues. There also will be a couple of writings/musings about "GOD", but I try to limit that kind of verbal gymnastics, because it is like chasing a sunbeam with a flashlight. Yes, my books are non-fiction, and are not good reading for anybody seeking to escape and be entertained. Some of the writings are spiritual, philosophical and intellectual in nature, and some descend the depths into the darkest recesses of the human mind. I have included a full cross section of all of my thoughts and feelings. It is a classic "over-share", and I have no shame in doing so. A Master Teacher once spoke to me, and said "no teacher shall effect your salvation, you must work it out for yourself". "Follow new paths of consciousness by letting go of all of the mental concepts and controls of your past". This writing represents my personal work towards that ultimate end.