If it’s painful for you to hear my story, it’s OK. That’s part of the process because my story includes pain, so don’t stop listening because you are uncomfortable. If you would just move past your discomfort you might learn something about empathy and compassion and mercy and justice.

—-Pastor Gricel Medinas

As a human race, all that we will ever see, unto eternity, is our Self. Can we see our Self with love and compassion today?

—–Bruce Paullin

There is a conspiracy of silence that exists within all societies, and ours is no exception. The conspiracy of silence is alive and well in many millions of American minds, including many present day religious and spiritual leaders.. The conspiracy of silence is continuously fed through our ignorance of our true nature, and our unwillingness and/or inability to both access and speak our personal truth at home and in the marketplace. This oppression and repression keeps us stuck in a very narrow frequency of existence.

We all look up to authorities from time to time. We all have been inspired, and sometimes oppressed, by them, as well. Yet, truth remains a pathless land, and we all need to pursue our own spiritual healing. Our journey in that new direction IS our unique path. The truth that sets us free IS the accessing and the sharing of our sense of enhanced wisdom and insight that has evolved through tuning into a wider frequency of being

An unfulfilling life experiences results from subservience to unhealed, oppressive forces from our past. No rejection or betrayal can ever hurt quite as much, and can have as long lasting impacts, as those which occurred while in childhood. Repeated rejections can contribute to an isolated, powerless sense of self for all susceptible people.

We travel the roads paved by two sources, which are our culture and our memory, and this shared infrastructure of consciousness is internalized and normalized within our own minds and hearts. But which roads of knowledge are being offered to us to travel upon, and where do they lead? Entire life experiences can become accommodations and adjustments to the “knowledge” that we are inadequate, woeful human beings who do not have the power to stand up for ourselves and be heard, both at home and in the marketplace. Entire life experiences can be created that keep us fearful and distrustful of others, well into our adulthood, and even unto death.

We all have access to infinity, and to each other, on levels that the conscious mind does not fully understand. The truth about each individual human life, and the collection that is called humanity, is that the sum total of all life influences each other directly and dramatically. Each moment of each day, our collective consciousness rains down upon us (or erupts within us) a wealth of information, and reaches our minds and “hearts”. We receive this information through the training, education, parental upbringing, media and news, the overall witnessing of life, our “dreams” and personal insights, as well as through some less obvious and poorly known and misunderstood means.

Artist’s Conception Of Life Energy Field

Each of us is both a receiver, and transmitter, of information. We tend to believe that the information that we are passing is exchanged solely through our words, and our body language, yet there is another level as well, a level that remains poorly understood, ignored, or even denied..We all have access to Spirit, with its “extra sensory perception”, yet we risk ridicule from many sources, including those scientifically inclined, or religiously indoctrinated, should we ever experience its mystery and claim it for ourselves. Each of us has a life energy field, which has not yet been detected by science, but certainly has been detected by the sensitive beings within the shamanic tradition, as well as within the mystics of the human race over the aeons of the existence of life. This life energy field, or in Rupert Sheldrake’s terms, the morphic field, is the field that we not only radiate, but that we are immersed in from the collective, interacting fields of nearly eight billion other human beings now living, as well as all humans and precedent life that has ever lived.

Let me bring this discussion home for just a moment. On Sunday, March 17, 2019, I went to play cards with my friend Jim H. While playing, I noted that I felt a blister forming on my forefinger on my right hand. I thought to myself that there was no way I could be developing a blister, because I had not done any work with my hands. Well, at that very moment, Sharon White was at home working outside around our home, and she had developed a blister, and noted it at the same time that day (6:00PM) that I felt the blister forming on my own finger. Coincidence?

Two years ago,in January of 2017, I started having seizures, and felt the presence of a golf ball sized black tumor in the left hemisphere of my brain. How on earth could I detect such a thing within myself without a MRI machine? I feared that I might be “losing it”, or even about to lose my own life, and was afraid to tell the doctor about it, though I mentioned to her that my dying father may well outlive me. Yet, on March 5, Marty C. had a major seizure, was hospitalized, and was diagnosed with a brain tumor the exact size, and in the same location in the brain as I detected within myself. And, when he described his seizure to me, I was struck by how similar his experience of the seizure was to my own. I told Marty that I felt that the black mass represented death itself, and that I hoped that it was not predictive of his immediate fate, or my own. When Marty had surgery to successfully remove the tumor two days later on Friday, the black mass from my own “life energy field” also disappeared. Marty was to die several months later, after a dramatic decline. Coincidence?

Two years ago, our dear friend June T. was visiting her brother Dale in Medford, Oregon. Dale was very sick at the time. In a Friday evening dream, I was in an unfamiliar bathroom, and I had fallen between the toilet and the wall. I was quite distressed in the dream. That next morning, Sharon and June talked on the phone, and June told her that Dale had fallen between the toilet and wall, while she watched helplessly. Coincidence?

The common bond to these experiences is my empathy and love for all three people, even while they went through their own unique version of suffering. Coincidences happen, and our eyes start to open to our long neglected truth. The more that we are receptive to that part of us that is truly unknown, the more we awaken to another possibility of our being. Whatever it is, and whoever it is that we are in consciousness, we also exist less consciously in realms where we have always been connected with our higher power, yet we did not yet know how to express its unique energies..

Empathy, compassion and love are the portals through which to receive the mysterious, higher level energies from our spiritual heritage. We are all connected at a much deeper level than we realize, yet we still can make this experience a more conscious one. Up to this point, I have not yet been able to apply this gift in any meaningful manner to help the human race, other than my willingness to write about the much greater undeveloped capacity of our human mind, heart, and soul. Learning to separate out from that energy what is mine, and what should be mine, from the vast sea of other member’s of the human race’s real life experiences, as well as their expectations and beliefs can initially bring fear and a sense of being overwhelmed. And, many of the people troubled by psychosis, including variations of paranoid schizophrenia, suffer from the inability to bring order out of the apparent chaos of many overlapping realities. Yet, that understanding of the information that we consciously, or unconsciously, share with each other may well be the key to ultimate transcendence for the human race.

I don’t see our medicine and technology catching up with our innate, though neglected, abilities in that area. It is finally starting to become “common knowledge” of the importance of searching for wholeness while undertaking any important medical treatments or processes, as these endeavors complement and work synergistically with western medical approaches to healing and cures.

I am not a religious person, though I have joined with the community of many theologians who believe that dreams are one of God’s (or, Higher Power, Universe, Healing, Spirit, Grandfather Great Spirit, The One, etc.)primary ways of getting our attention. In the absolute, there is little difference between what we experience through our dreams and through our so-called waking reality. Awake or asleep, internally we respond in real time to what we witness as if both experiences have equal footing in reality. So could God/Truth be trying to tell us something while we are sleeping? Here are six spiritually significant dreams that may be more than meets the mind’s eye….

1. Visitation Dreams
It’s common to have a visitation dream after a loved one passes. The deceased often appear in bodily form, healthy and luminous, in order to communicate an important message: “I’m okay.”, or “There is nothing to fear about death”. I have had several of these dreams over the years, with my most recent experience revolving around the recent death of a good friend.

2. Prophetic Dreams
Many people have had a “dream that came true.” Our dreams may use our past experiences to produce a probable series of future events—showing us patterns that help us make better choices when we’re awake. I have had several dreams that have predicted EXACTLY events that were to happen, yet they remain unreliable predictors of the future, because the future is always changing, depending upon changes made in the present.

3. Warning Dreams
God—and our body—can sometimes speak in dreams to warn us about imminent danger, especially regarding health. We may dream of a specific body part or even receive a verbal warning. In a 2015 study of women diagnosed with breast cancer, 83 percent had dreams that were more vivid than normal. And 44 percent reported hearing specific words like “breast cancer” or “tumor.”

4. Healing Dreams
These are the internal creations that bring us from an “out of balance” place into “harmony and balance.” They often involve a mystical encounter. I have experienced many healing dreams, I had one amazing dream with my deceased grandpa Henry which, to this day, inspires and confounds me.

5. Heavenly Dreams
According to a 1989 study, more than half of healthy young adults who dreamed of death spent a significant amount of time in that dream in heaven. These dreamers sometimes go down a tunnel or pathway and arrive at heavenly destinations. They also frequently encounter deceased loved ones. I have had dreams where I have heard the songs and sounds of the “angels of heaven”, carrying a message of beauty beyond my ability to describe or define.

6. Mutual Dreams
A mutual dream is when two people—typically in separate locations—dream of the same thing at the same time. According to a 2017 study, shared dreams are 80 percent identical on average. They often occur between close friends or relatives. Interestingly, 4 percent of these dreams are shared by strangers. A most profound realization and insight may come to the dreamer, that the collective mind of man dreams through individuals, and individuals dream through the collective mind of mankind. We are one, after all, you and I.

Wisdom and insight are available through our “dream channels”. Atheists and agnostics have the same capacity as the saints, as far as the ability to access dream wisdom goes. One of the more amazing dreams that I have had in recent years was the previously mentioned dream involving June Thomas’s brother Dale. We are much closer than we presently believe, and our beliefs keep us more separate as a human beings, than together as spiritual beings. June is much more like me, and attuned with me, than I am comfortable with, some times.

The same is true of ALL OF HUMANITY.

Theoretical physicists are now understanding that there are possibilities for alternate universes, as well as enhanced connections with the one we all currently reside within. I am saddened that mankind is becoming increasingly dependent on its technology for communication, while not concurrently developing the sensitivity to connect with the “energy” that we all share in, and with which we communicate with each other continuously. Our technology, especially the hand-held media devices that we use to entertain and hypnotize ourselves with, only serves to continue the energy of the past, without offering alternatives to the present collection of corrupted choices that humanity has seemed eternally resigned to make.

Science, though able to define relationships and the laws that dictate behavior between all observable, and quantum, phenomenon, are only now beginning to understand the ramifications of the real law of our existence, which is “all that we will ever see, unto eternity, is ourselves”. Science provides laws for what we see, yet, unlike enlightened spirituality, provides no laws predicting or supporting what is possible for humanity. Quantum mechanics will not be understood fully until the self-centered perspective towards infinity is replaced with the understanding that the collective, as well as the individual, is present in each of us, in each moment of existence. The impacts that we all have upon each other are not yet fully understood, yet prayer, meditation, and mindfulness prepare the mind for the unknown, where all true creation springs from. It is a much more collaborative effort being a human, and any other form of life on this planet, than our minimally conscious minds understand at this time. Ultimately, science and religion, medicine and technology, will all be united as manifestations of mankind’s expression of true being.

All of our “thoughts and prayers” have the potential to be of life-affirming value, yet their authority pales in comparison to the power of the underlying, unconscious intentions and manifestations of our collective consciousness and collective unconsciousness, and the infinite variations of potentially dangerous, unenlightened energies within it. I have seen that there are multitudes of suggestions and temptations floating around in our collective consciousness, and far too many of them revolve around diseases of the body, diseases of the mind, and rejection of our spirit of love. Yet,within that misunderstood and mysterious energy field, lies an infinite potential for healing and transformation, as well. The path towards conscious awareness, and “miraculous healing” includes sorting out what are our true thoughts and intentions from the collective stray noise of the human energy field, and how we can protect ourselves from all of the dangerous frequencies that we all tune into, intentionally or inadvertently.

Can we experience a spiritual apocalypse where we accept a new way way being, of seeing life, and finally remove ourselves from the limitations that our time based thinking has created for us? Can we come from a place not from our conditioned backgrounds, our upbringing, our wounding as children, our PTSD as adults, or even our most educated, intelligent parts of our training? Will we allow for ourselves the immense uncertainty, and the ultimate privilege, of accessing new paths of consciousness where love, empathy and compassion are our eternal companions? Will we allow our energy fields to resonate with the highest potentials for human experience, to even approach that of our purported divine nature? If we could move past our collective, and individual, discomfort we might learn something about empathy and compassion and mercy and justice, and even connect with a majesty and a miracle that far transcends our limited vision for life. We might finally know “God”, “Buddha”, Allah”, “Vishnu”, “Shiva”, “Krishna”, “Jesus Christ”, “Mohamed” and “Our Self” not as separate concepts, but instead as all part of a great holism.

To not do so is to continue our collective misanthropic experience of war, hatred, enmity between nations and peoples, destruction of our sacred planet Earth, economic inequality, racism, misogyny, diseases of all manners and types, and mental illness. We are free to choose what energy to manifest, and to access. If we do not want the damaged, diseased status quo to continue unto our collective Armageddon, then we will all make necessary changes to the paths we are now following, and/or we will follow completely new conscious paths of experience..

For I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind.

Isaiah 65:17

Always remember that WE are the “I” in Isaiah 65:17, when we finally make conscious contact with the ultimate truth of being and existence.

I have attempted to “capture lightning in a bottle” by articulating this message. May each of us never despair of our faltering attempts to reach towards this infinite energy and to express its love and wisdom. To have a better life, we have to access new parts of our infinite self, and travel on new paths of understanding. A primary law of consciousness is that “we find what we are looking for”, so make sure to look for what we really want, and not fall victim to the suggestions of others that don’t always have our best interests at heart.

Very truly I tell you, whoever makes conscious contact with the truth of their real self will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because we are all birthed from infinite power. And the miracles that we perform are to bring the highest glory to our lives, to the lives of all others, and to the transcendent energy from which we have arisen.

——-Jesus Of Nazareth, from John 14 12:14, (spiritually reinterpreted).

Life after enlightenment is all about personal responsibility for one’s thoughts and actions. When we decide to no longer be the victim, we can finally be the victor. Life can be lived on wider and wider frequencies of energy, where meaning, personal value, and loving service to others will bring to each of us all of the resources that we will ever need to live a successful life.

Can anyone conceive of the life where our hearts are opened so wide, that we literally feel like they will explode from all of the love that we now are able to share? Can anyone conceive of the life where our possibilities for understanding and experiencing more of the mysteries of the infinite nature of the interior universe finally becomes common knowledge?

We must not give up before the Miracle appears in our life, and in all of our lives which are impacted by our own.

Can we envision a more challenging, yet beautiful experience for ourselves, and for the planet?

What better reason for living can there possibly be?

Which frequencies of life are we attuned to today?

If we don’t appreciate where we now are, we are free to make another choice for our self.

Please, save yourself.

Categories: Musings

Bruce

Presently, I am 67 years old, and I am learning how to live the life of a retired person. I am married to Sharon White, a retired hospice nurse, and writer. Whose Death Is It Anyway-A Hospice Nurse Remembers Sharon is a wonderful friend and life partner of nearly 30 years. We have three grandsons through two of Sharon's children. I am not a published writer or poet. My writings are part of my new life in retirement. I have recently created a blog, and I began filling it up with my writings on matters of recovery and spirituality. I saw that my blog contained enough material for a book, so that is now my new intention, to publish a book, if only so that my grandsons can get to know who their grandfather really was, once I am gone. The title for my first book will be: Penetrating The Conspiracy Of Silence, or, How I Lived Beyond My Expiration Date I have since written 7 more books, all of which are now posted on this site. I have no plans to publish any of them, as their material is not of general interest, and would not generate enough income to justify costs. I have taken a deep look at life, and written extensively about it from a unique and rarely communicated perspective. Some of my writing is from 2016 on to the present moment. Other writing covers the time prior to 1987 when I was a boy, then an addict and alcoholic, with my subsequent recovery experience, and search for "Truth". Others are about my more recent experiences around the subjects of death, dying, and transformation, and friends and family having the most challenging of life's experiences. There are also writings derived from my personal involvement with and insight into toxic masculinity, toxic religion, toxic capitalism, and all of their intersections with our leadere. These topics will not be a draw for all people, as such personal and/or cultural toxicities tends to get ignored, overlooked, or "normalized" by those with little time for insight, introspection, or interest in other people's points of view on these troubling issues. There also will be a couple of writings/musings about "GOD", but I try to limit that kind of verbal gymnastics, because it is like chasing a sunbeam with a flashlight. Yes, my books are non-fiction, and are not good reading for anybody seeking to escape and be entertained. Some of the writings are spiritual, philosophical and intellectual in nature, and some descend the depths into the darkest recesses of the human mind. I have included a full cross section of all of my thoughts and feelings. It is a classic "over-share", and I have no shame in doing so. A Master Teacher once spoke to me, and said "no teacher shall effect your salvation, you must work it out for yourself". "Follow new paths of consciousness by letting go of all of the mental concepts and controls of your past". This writing represents my personal work towards that ultimate end.