Birthday message from a new Social Security recipient
As life inevitably changes, we must address those changes, let go of what is no longer important, and grieve the losses of those people and situations who no longer remember us, or resonate with our hearts as we are presently revealing ourselves. We must also acknowledge and celebrate all who found their place both beside us and with each other.
I grieve the loss of my parents and beloved grandparents. I grieve the lose of my Uncle Ed Paullin. I grieve the loss of friendships with Victor Thomas, Bob Rooter, and Marty Crouch, who all died of brain cancer. I grieve the losses of my childhood best friends to death, Randy Olson and Dan Dietz, the severe dementia of brilliant and creative friend Craig Salter, and the spiritual loss of best friend Sean Tucker, who became committed to fundamentalist ideology. I grieve the loss of my 1990’s best friends Gary N and Michael H, when we had to end our friendship due to dissimilar moral, ethical and spiritual convictions and standards. I grieve the recent loss of another long term friendship with June T, who is now succumbing to the initial to intermediary stages of cognitive decline. She did not call me this birthday for the first time in 28 years.. I grieve the losses of my aunt Susie Paullin Trompeter and my uncle Wayne Henry, both now on hospice care, and who are the last pillars of the old guard of my family. I grieve the lack of connections that I was not allowed to develop with my wife’s children Hayley and Brad Graves and his wife Dawn, perhaps because they found me irrelevant or unavailable to contribute to their life’s needs. I grieve the recent losses of beloved animal companions Patches, Ginger, Rocky, and our Spirit Dog Iris.
I am grateful for each new moment, and the miracle it may bring to all of us. It will not bring old friends and diseased friends and family members back, but it may reveal new friends and companions, long ignored or unintentionally neglected family members, and new growth experiences for our eternal evolutionary path.
” Prove me now sayeth the Lord Of Hosts” ( yes, from the Bible)
And proving the presence of Spirit is how my life is presently lived.
I am grateful to my wife Sharon White for cousins Lisa Paullin-Anzaldua , Carla Henry Gregersen , Bjorn Gregersen , Kodiak, Tobin, and my sister Pam. I am grateful to finally get to know, as an adult, our grandon Mitch Graves , I am grateful to long term friends Jim Hussey and his wife Jo. I am also grateful for the very few people who take the time to stop by my blog and/or Facebook posts, to remind me that I have a little value, in spite of or because of what I may have written Healing from the scars that our society, and my father, inadvertently or intentiobally left upon me that told me that my voice was worthless is what has kept me alive the last 34 years.
I am grateful for my love for all, whether they reciprocate it or not, or consider me family, friend, obscure acquaintances, or foe.
I am blessed beyond all measure by each other, by our plant and animal kingdom, and by our unique internal creator and our own individual creations that affirm and support the innate, infinite value of all of God’s creatures..
I am grateful that I, the least of these, also qualified for that divine blessing.
I am grateful
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